Perfect Timing
by Nuttyginger
Summary: Bella is carrying a baby that isn't hers. Edward has more trust issues than you can shake a rotten stick at. Can a heart that has never loved and a heart that was broken heal each other? Or will misunderstandings end them before they even start? ExB, AH
1. A History Lesson on Life

**Well i am back, with something completely different to To Live Is To Love and Tread Lightly. This is AH! **

**A huge thank you to my beta Tina72899. She took on a nightmare when she took me on. Big hugs to her for it and thank you for putting up with my IMs when i forget you have a life to and interupt your busy schedule.**

**All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author (that would be ME). No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Chapter 1 – A History Lesson in Life**

Bella could still remember the day that Alice Brandon walked into her life. She had been sitting on the swing her dad had hung from an oak tree in their front yard. The ground underneath the crude, yet splinter free, wooden plank was scuffed, void of earth and had a habit of being muddy from the seemingly unrelenting Fork's rain. Bella had fled the slightly neglected house where her father appeared to be madly running around, tidying up. Throwing newspapers under couch cushions and trying to tie trash bags from the kitchen bin only to have the contents burst from the bag and all over the floor. Bella was sick of her dad's growls and grunts, and he kept scowling at her every time she laughed at his naughty words. All the dusting and tidying could only mean one thing; Joanna was coming around. Joanna was Charlie's girlfriend, the only girlfriend Bella had ever seen him have. They had met at a line dancing class that had been organised for the seniors. Given the small size of Forks, the only way to have enough people to make a line was to invite anyone over the age of eighteen. She had a daughter that Charlie had mentioned, but Bella had never seen her before. Joanna was the only reason that Bella put up with her father when he was in this kind of mood, instead of demanding a new daddy, one who didn't scowl. When Joanna came to visit, usually for dinner – which she cooked – she always brought the best chocolate chip cookies. Bella liked Joanna.

Her daddy, Police Chief Charlie Swan, had told her that today was different. Today, Joanna would be bringing a guest with her too, someone for Bella to play with; a new friend. Friends were something that Bella didn't have a lot of. She was quiet, her teacher said. Bright, but quiet. The other children in her class didn't avoid her or tease her, they just forgot about her.

A familiar car had appeared on their street of only two houses, and Bella slowed the swing, trying not to scuff her newly polished Mary Jane shoes. Joanna waved at Bella from the car, showing her a clear zip-lock bag of cookies with her other hand. Slowly, Bella made her way over to the car as the backseat door opened.

Short legs with bright red, sparkly shoes came into to view as they jumped down to the ground. Bella forgot all about Joanna and her cookies as she took in the small, black haired girl in front of her. This was her new playmate. The girl was barely taller than Bella and had on the prettiest yellow dress Bella had ever seen, made brighter by the dreary grey weather that day. The girl walked towards her, her hand stuck out before her, quite formal and polite for a girl her age, Bella thought. Bella could feel her cheeks heat up as she looked at the ground as the toes of her left shoe twisted in the dirt.

"My name is Alice. You're Isabella but Mom said to call you Bella. My mom and your dad are engaged." The yellow dressed girl said, her voice high pitched and all knowing. "You know what that means right?"

Bella shook her head and refused to look up, instead admiring the girl's shoes. They reminded her of Dorothy's in the _Wizard of Oz_ that had been on TV the other day.

"It means that we are coming to live with you, and we are going to be sisters."

Bella 's head flew up, tears in her eyes. Her mom had just given her a baby brother last month, and now she was always too busy to talk to her on the phone. Did a new sister mean her daddy would be too busy to talk to her too now? "I don't want a sister."

She watched as Alice looked back at her shocked. "Oh! Well we have to be something." Alice tapped her index finger against her cheek. "I know. We'll be best friends."

Bella thought about this. She had heard of best friends but had never had one. "What do best friends do?"

"Um... they are always around when you get stuck with stuff, paint your toe nails andstop boys from giving you cooties. You know, all the good stuff"

Bella looked at her suspiciously before pushing out her hand towards Alice cautiously. "Okay, best friends."

Bella crinkled her nose when Alice spat into her own hand and slapped it into Bella's. "For life!"

At eight years old, Bella had her first best friend and a new sister. Somehow, she knew her life was changing, and it started with Alice Brandon.

-x-x-x-x-

It had been twenty years since Alice and Bella had made a spit-bond best friend's vow. In those two decades, Bella and Alice had surfed life's rollercoaster together. Even after Alice had married and moved to New York, they continued to be closer than sisters and best friends.

At fourteen, Bella experienced one of life's harshest lessons. Both Alice and Bella had been in school when the principal came to get Bella from her fourth period math class. She went outside, with her book bag and textbooks, hastily closed with pens trapped in the spine of the books. Alice was standing in the corridor too looking as confused as she was, her toes twirling patterns on the tiled floor as it did when she was nervous. The principal had led them to his office, where Joanna sat, black tracks careening down her face where her mascara had run with tears. She had drawn in Bella close to her chest, muttering soft "Sorry's" into the top of Bella's hair, the soft drop, drop, drop of tears echoing each word. The confused look on Alice's face had been replaced with one of fear. Joanna had never cried in front of them before.

Charlie Swan had been in the convenience store buying Joanna-ruled contraband, Twinkies, when two armed men with stocking masks pulled over their faces burst in and demanded money from the cashier. He didn't even have the time to get his gun from his holster before one of the robbers shot Charlie at point blank range in the chest. Police Chief Charlie Swan died before the EMT's arrived, just mere minutes after the silent alarm had been triggered.

There had been an open casket at the funeral home for viewing. Bella knew what a funeral was, but she had never been to one before. Joanna had tried to explain to her why they went to visit her dad, even though he wasn't alive. Nothing Joanna could have told her prepared her for the sight of his body though, prepared by the funeral directors, lying in the coffin. His face looked chalky, his cheeks a strange shade of red. He looked very unlike the daddy she knew and loved, even his hair was wrong. Bella reached over into the coffin and tried to fix his hair but the products the funeral people had put in it meant it kept moving back into place. Bella became hysterical at that point and Alice's uncle had to pull her away as she tried to climb into the coffin, harsh cries leaving her body as she scrambled tooth and nail to get into the coffin and just cuddle up to her daddy as she did when she was much younger.

As she was bundled back to the house, it took hours for her cries to give way to hoarse sobs and eventually an exhausted sleep. As Charlie had been laid to rest with a full honours funeral, Bella had ran her fingertips over the oak wood surface of his coffin and whispered a 'goodbye'. He had later received medals, awarded for bravery, but none of them brought her daddy back to her.

Child Services had been given her the choice, after Charlie's death, to go and live with her mother, Renee, in Phoenix or stay with Joanna and Alice in Forks, as per Charlie's will. Her mother was virtually a stranger to her. Joanna and Alice were her family now.

~*-*~

At sixteen, life dealt another blow to the Brandon-Swan family and rocked the foundations of Bella's world once again. Alice, only eighteen and preparing to go to college in New York to study Media and Film, was diagnosed with Stage 2 Ovarian cancer. She had been complaining of back pain and had confessed to her mother that when she had slept with her then boyfriend, Jacob Black, it had hurt like hell, worse than when he had 'popped her cherry'. An ultrasound revealed a mass on her ovaries the size of a lime, and a biopsy confirmed it was cancer. The dreaded C-word. Alice had taken it as she took most things, with an air of platoon going to war; fight, fight, fight.

Charlie's pension and life insurance had left them financially sound, so Joanna quit her job to support her daughter, and Alice started on a gruelling chemotherapy and radiotherapy schedule. 'She is young' the doctors said, 'her chances are good'. Three sessions later, Alice was given the good news that she was in remission. Just in time to make a start in college for the start of the second semester with a bald head and her lease on life back.

Two years later, the symptoms returned. This time, Alice slumped into denial and buried her head in the sand like an unrelenting ostrich. It was only when she returned to Forks for the holidays and Joanna saw the startling weight loss, despite the fact that Alice ate like a kid left unsupervised in a candy store, that she forced her daughter to go to the doctors.

The doctor took one look at her and, knowing her history, rushed her straight into the hospital for testing. The cancer had come back, Stage 2B, and the doctors gave Alice an unthinkable choice: Lose the ability to have children by having her womb and ovaries removed, or die trying to beat it. There was no choice for Alice; it was always going to be life for her. It petrified Bella, who at only eighteen was scared of losing another member of the family. She was at an age now where she understood the implications of cancer and what it could do to her beautiful sister. After the operation, Alice had descended into a depression that no one could pull her out of. Joanna had pleaded with her oldest daughter to get help, therapy, counselling, even pills if it would help, but Alice shrugged her shoulders and returned to school to throw herself back into her degree.

Six months later, on a visit home during the three-month summer break, Bella noticed her sister and best friend appeared happier. Alice had put on weight, her hair cut was styled into a fashionable bob instead of long, lanky strings down her back, and she was dressing in bright colours again. The yellow sundress was back, though in a size that fit her petite adult body as opposed to the ten-year old child that had once wore one similar. After catching up in Bella's bedroom after Joanna had gone to bed. They sat on her bed with chocolate and wine, bought by Alice with her fake ID. Bella had begged Alice to tell her why she was so happy. After a coy smile, Alice confessed she had met someone. His name was Jasper, and she was going to marry him someday. Bella had scoffed, and in a feminist voice proclaimed:

"Who needed men to make you happy?"

That Thanksgiving, with the girls home in Forks, Bella from U-Dub and Alice from New York, Jasper came home, with Alice, to meet the family. Joanna was immediately smitten with his southern charm and drawl; whereas Bella was a little more guarded. She was wary of the boy, no man, who could possibly take her only sister and best friend away from her. Abandonment issues, stemming from Renee's sporadic contact in her life, would periodically haunt Bella and the relationships she had with people she met throughout her life. However, by the end of the holiday weekend, Jasper had converted Bella by teaching her poker and allowing her to teach him how to ice skate on one of the frozen ponds near their house. Bella had confirmed her like of her new possible brother-in-law by telling him he looked like a woman in her old, off-white figure skates.

Jasper and Alice married as soon as their exam results were posted, and before graduation. Jasper claimed that he wanted things official before they moved in as 'grown-ups', and Alice knew life could be short and didn't want to wait. Bella was nineteen and Maid of Honour. The subject of children had been brought up more than once as Alice and Jaspers relationship progressed, before they married, and Jasper had always said:

"Alice, darlin', it's not your ability to give or not give me children that I love. It's you, the light you have inside you, the love of life itself. There are other ways to have children if we truly want them. But I know that I want you, not just someone else who can give me kids, only you."

Bella had cried with Alice when she had gushed down the phone in one of their late night phone catch ups. Someday, Bella wanted a Jasper of her own except with dark hair; she wasn't that keen on blondes.

~*-*~

At twenty four, Alice and Jasper decided they were ready to bring children into their lives. They had considered adoption but only wanted to use it as a last resort. There was no chance that IVF would work for them as she had no eggs and no womb. The cancer had struck too quickly and was too advanced by the time Alice had finally been forced to the doctors the second time. When the doctors had given her the options of treatment, there had been no time to allow the harvest of her eggs for freezing, and she had no womb to carry them in after the hysterectomy.

They decided that they first wanted to try a surrogate egg and mother, fertilised with Jasper's sperm, before submitting an adoption application. For months they tried to find a surrogate they both felt they could do this with. Agency after agency and interview after interview was unsuccessful. Alice just couldn't find a surrogate that was the right fit for her to feel comfortable with, trusting then to help bring her and Jasper's child into the world. They weren't just looking for an oven, as Jasper put it, they were looking for half the ingredients too.

It all came to a head when Bella went to New York to visit her sister and brother-in-law in their new house, a stunning Brownstone in an up and coming area of Brooklyn. Jasper was a successful producer for Summit Entertainment, working out of New York while his company tried to convince him to move to LA where work would be more accessible for him. Alice worked as a columnist for the New York Times. She had once enjoyed her job but was now burning out, and they were financially secure enough that Alice would be able to stop working completely and stay at home with a baby.

While drinking their weight in Merlot, Alice had cried huge, drunken tears at the unfairness of it all. In an inebriated mumble, Alice joked that she wished that she had a secret best friend who was a career surrogate that could just take it all on for them. Bella fell as silent as a stone, suddenly not as drunk as she thought she was. Her sister's anguish and the best friend comment had her now clear-thinking brain ticking over at a thousand miles an hour.

"What about me?" Bella exclaimed as she sloshed red liquid out of the glass and onto Alice's pristine neutral carpets. "I could do it. I have eggs, a tummy, no boyfriend, and I **_am_** your best friend."

Alice's nose wrinkled in confusion, her eyes then bugging out as she realised exactly what Bella was slurring on about. "You? You would want to be our surrogate?"

"Sure, why not." She put her glass on the table and drew Alice's hands into her lap as Alice sat, cross-legged lotus style across from Bella, and looked her deep in the eyes. Alice shook her head from side to side.

"I couldn't, **_we_** couldn't ask you to do that for us." Her voice was small, almost afraid to hope.

"It would be the perfect solution. I am three months into my Masters program, so I wouldn't be too far along when I sit for my finals, I could transfer it to NYU, and it would give me an excuse to take a couple of months out at the end of it. You know me Alice. You know my medical history, my sexual history, I would be nearby and I don't wear socks with my sandals so you know my DNA is not tainted." Bella joked, trying to add a bit of levity into the now serious atmosphere.

"Bella you are only twenty two, why would you want to carry a baby so young? Think of your figure."

Bella fell back laughing. "You can pay for my postnatal personal training sessions if you really want."

For the first time into her trip, Bella saw hope in Alice's eyes instead of exhaustion and defeat. Bella knew, with no doubt in her mind, that it was the right offer to make. It would be a way of paying Alice back for all the sisterly advice and moments, and a way of thanking the Brandon family for taking her in as their own after Charlie's death.

When Jasper came back from a business trip to Vancouver the next afternoon, Bella and Alice sat him down and explained what they had discussed. Jasper required a bit more information and reassurance from Bella that she wanted to go ahead with it than Alice, where an _Okay, lets do it_ would suffice, no reassurance required. Jasper finally agreed after much negotiation about schooling and where Bella would live and medical payments.

On the 2nd of August 2003, Cassidy Whitlock was born, screaming her lungs out, with a shock of Jasper's golden hair and startling blue eyes, that later turned hazel, resembling Bella's. Though where the flecks of gold came from, no one was quite sure. She was handed off, straight into her mother's arms where Alice gently rocked the pink swaddled baby until her cries subsided, and she opened her big blue eyes to the world.

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**Who would you do absolutely anything for?**

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	2. A Knight in a Tom Ford Suit

**Chapter 2 – A Knight in a Tom Ford Suit**

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_I'm late again, late, late, late._

Bella thought as she ran down the stairs from her apartment to the parking garage in the basement of her building. She stumbled a few times, her grip on the side railing, the only thing saving her from certain death. Stupid work had run over, her boss delaying the approval of her design proofs, and it slipped her mind that she had opted to take a half day today. Bella knew owning a car in Manhattan wasn't the best option in the world, but she loved her independence and also loved being able to get out of the city and go upstate for long weekends. It would come in handy after this weekend, she hoped.

Alice, Jasper and their six-year-old daughter Cassidy were in town for two weeks. Shortly after Cassidy, Cassie for short, was born, Alice and Jasper moved out to LA to open a west coastoperation of their production company. Bella, after completing her Masters in Fabric Technology, had been offered her dream job in New York and stayed after they had made their move out to LA to start a new business in the industry they call show.

It had been like 'House Swap' in the extreme. Bella had worked for '_Little Feet_' for four years and was now their head designer.'_Little Feet_' specialised in designing childrens' footwear, mainly for the larger design houses trying to cash in on a niche market. Bella, however, was in her second season of designing her own line that was on sale at Bloomingdales and Macy's. She loved her job. Bella had Alice to thank for her career choice. The red, sparkly shoes that Alice had been wearing on the first day they met had fascinated her, and she wanted a pair of her own for years. The shoe and handbag obsession that plagued most women was never a problem with Bella, Chucks and ballet flats were her staple, she simply loved children's small shoes, and the birth of Cassidy had given her a perfect excuse to buy them or, as now, send her samples of to Alice for a test run.

~*-*~

Bella jumped into her dark silver Mazda 3, backing slowly out of her driveway. Traffic was lighter than usual given it was just after one in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Alice and Cassie had arrived in New York the evening before, and Bella had left them to settle in. Jasper would join Alice the next day, so Bella had her sister and niece to herself for the rest of the day and evening.

Despite the distance, Alice and Jasper still living in LA and Bella in New York, they had all managed to remain close, and Bella visited at least three or four times a year. Bella was desperate to see her niece again, finding it hard to go so long without seeing Cassie as she was growing up so quickly. Given Cassie's origins, Bella, as Alice's surrogate, couldn't help but think she was missing out on the most important years of Cassie's life. She was six now and getting older by the day, just like Bella had at her age.

_That was all about to change now_. Bella mused to herself as she crossed the river into Manhattan and headed for the W at Union Square. Alice and Jasper were in the final stages of selling their very successful production company in LA and were now moving back to New York. It would mean they were further from Joanna, but Bella was so happy that her sister was going to be in the same city as her again. When Bella had questioned Alice on the move, she had simply muttered that the company was doing well, and it was in a position where they could sell it off and make a fantastic profit. In addition, she had wanted to stay at home with Cassie, even though she was now at school full-time. Jasper wanted to open up a New York based company and have a chance to get back to on-set production. Alice had claimed it was also because they missed the Big Apple and Bella so much; it was time to come home. Bella wasn't arguing; she wanted her sister, brother-in-law and niece close to her.

Rushing at full pace, Bella stumbled and tripped as she made her way to the valet, gave him the keys and made for the hotel entrance. Alice had told her to meet them in the lobby of the hotel, and they would head out for some sightseeing and a late lunch. She took in the atmosphere of the reception area as she waited, staying away from plants or anything else she would accidentally back into or knock over.

"Auntie Belly," came a shout through the slightly crowded entrance. A meeting had just adjourned for lunch and the area was full of suits. Bella crouched down in a squat and held her arms open as the crowd parted for a small six year old, blonde curls whipping behind her as she ran. Her short legs pumped under her as she ran full pace towards Bella, a large smile on her face and laughter in her big brown eyes. Nothing prepared Bella for the force at which Cassie ran into her arms. Arms scrambled for any kind of purchase as Bella fell slowly backwards, managing to push Cassie out of her arms as not to take her down with her. It was like a cartoon, all slow motion and emphasised facial expressions. She reached out behind her to stop her butt from hitting the cold marble floors. Instead, she felt two hard, yet shock absorbing, rods behind her. Before Bella could even blink, two hands from behind grasped her under her armpits and hauled her to her feet, spinning her around 180 degrees. Once she was on her feet the same hands left her body only to return to her upper arms, steadying her. The hands were warm, the thin fingers wrapping around her biceps, not tight but reassuring.

Bella lifted her head, feeling the heat of her no doubt beetroot red blush and tried not to close her eyes in embarrassment as she came face to face with her saviour. She took in his soft chiselled jaw, slight hint of stubble and felt the firmness of his biceps under her hands as she wrapped them around his forearms for support. It was not his undeniable handsomeness that caught her attention. As soon as she took in his most striking emerald and gold-flecked eyes, she knew keeping eye contact with him would not be a problem. She was staring at him, eyes wide, and mouth slightly open but thankfully free of drool.

"Are you okay there?" The Adonis asked.

"Huh?" Bella promptly realised her mouth was open and snapped it shut. "Yes, yes. I'm…" Bella checked herself over. No bones out of place, nothing seemed to hurt. Wow she had dodged a bullet with this fall. "I'm fine." Her voice was full of surprise.

Her brain started to catch up with the situation as she looked down. Her pale, calloused hands were on his chest, the startlingly white, well-pressed shirt crinkling under her hands. Not just that, they were standing close together, really close. She could smell the sandalwood and comforting masculine musk smell that drifted from his body in waves. There was the 'lub-dub' beat of his heart under her fingertips that seemed to mirror her own.

"Auntie Bella, are you okay?" A small voice beside her asked.

Munchkin! Her whole reason for falling over. Slowly the noises of the hotel that surrounded them came back as if someone had taken the world off mute. "I am so sorry. My niece ran…and then I…Sorry." Bella sputtered.

Her saviour shook his head slightly as if bringing himself out of a dream or back into reality. "No problem, no problem at all."

Bella took a step back, his hands still on her hands until she moved far enough that they dropped limply to his side. She could feel Cassie tugging on the bottom of her below the knee skirt. For the first time since he picked her up, Bella broke her eye contact with Adonis, as her ovaries had seemed to name him. Bella bent down and swung Cassie up into her arms, forgetting she was now six and felt like she weighed a ton in Bella's puny arms. By the time she had righted herself and looked back up, Adonis was gone.

"Hi Munchkin, how are you?" Bella asked nuzzling her nose into the sweet smell of the child's hair.

"I'm very good. We went on an aeroplane yesterday, but mommy is annoyed with me 'cos I ran off in the airport. I was following a man with sunglasses 'cos he had a cute dog with hair like mine." Cassie held up a bunch of her blonde curls in case Bella couldn't see them.

"Cassidy, you know better than to run off." Bella admonished. "So what have you been up to?"

Cassie seemed to think. "Nothing much. I go to big school now." Her face lit up in delight as she suddenly realised she had bigger, more exciting news. "Guess what? Mommy and Daddy have been talking about getting me a brother or sister. I heard them talking about it when they thought I had gone to bed."

Bella took a small step back in surprise. Her confused thoughts were cut off as Alice made her way to them. There was a huge smile on her face, an unmistakable spring in her step as she stepped forward and encompassed Bella and Cassie in her short arms. Bella took her friend in from above. Stretching five inches above her tiny frame. She had cut her hair again, this time into short layers about four inches long, it was still as black as coal. Her youthful face and the fact that her sunshine-like personality showed through helped her pull it off. It contrasted wonderfully with her tanned amber glow from the Californian sunshine. Bella had always marvelled at Alice. Despite the tragedy and trials she had been through in her life, Alice was forever sunny, upbeat and it showed. Her fashion choices were constantly bright, mostly primary colours. If blue was in, fashion wise, Alice had to wear it in cobalt or electric.

"How's it going short stuff?" Bella mocked.

"I'm good, better now that I've seen you again. You've lost weight Bella." Alice released them and stepped with a frown on her face.

"Yeah, well work has been hectic. I hear you are planning a family expansion."

Bella watched in amusement as Alice's face paled and she could see her trying to back track the situation. Her eyes flew to Cassie who was looking like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Well...we were...but that doesn't mean...well..."

Bella let out a peel of laughter as she watched her sister stumble over her words. "Relax hon, we can talk about it at lunch."

"You're not angry. I, I mean Jasper and I, wanted to talk to you face to face."

"Really, Alice, it's okay. Seriously, we'll talk at lunch."

Bella put Cassie back on the ground and grinned as Alice slung an arm around her waist. As they passed by the entrance to the restaurant, a shock of unruly hair caught her attention. Her eyes flew to it, watching the handsome face it belonged to as his gaze never wavered from hers. It was as if he could sense she was nearby. That fact alone made a shiver echo down her back, but what she wasn't sure of was whether the shiver was in fear or want.

~*-*~

Bella sat, pretending to be distracted by Cassie's crayon drawings, as Alice sat opposite her in the restaurant. She sat fiddling with her hands on the table, a shredded napkin abandoned beside her showing testament to her unease. Bella had never seen Alice appear so nervous. Alice had always been the 'Swan' in the Brandon-Swan family. She looked graceful and so in control above the surface, but underneath the waves she would paddle like hell, never letting anyone see her.

"Okay, Alice, enough with the napkin assaults."

Alice seemed to blink off wherever she had been. "Sorry, just tired I guess."

"No you're not. This is not you tired." Bella decided to cut Alice some slack. "I think it is great that you and Jasper want to have more kids, especially as you are moving here."

Alice smiled up at Bella, grateful that she always could see straight through her facades. "We have been talking about a lot recently. Jasper has been spending more time on set and on location. He's been carrying guilt that he is neglecting the business. I've always wanted a big family and I would want to be a stay at home mom this time. The easiest solution is to sell the business and open up here in New York. We were wondering..."

Bella pulled Alice's hands into hers. "You don't even need to ask Alice. Just tell me when you have made an appointment at the clinic."

Alice's head sprung up and she hugged Bella across the table, Bella winced as the edge of the table dug into the top of her thighs. "Are you sure? I mean you have work this time and Cassie wasn't an easy baby to carry."

When Bella had been pregnant with Cassie, she had suffered preeclampsia early in her third trimester. Luckily it had been brought under control and there had been no early labour. The three weeks bed rest, however, had nearly driven Bella up the wall in boredom. Also Cassie had been a large baby and the final week of her pregnancy had been painful and uncomfortable for Bella.

"She was worth it in the end though." Bella mused, running her hands through Cassie's blonde curls. "Plus this time we will know what to expect. Plus, I drink less coffee these days, so the caffeine withdrawal will be nowhere near as bad, and I won't turn into Mommazilla."

Alice and Bella laughed, the atmosphere lifting once again from its serious nature. Bella was beyond thrilled that Alice and Jasper wanted her to be their surrogate again. The emotional and confusing months post-pregnancy for Bella had been made bearable as she watched Alice and Jasper grow into their role as parents, knowing she had been a part of giving them that.

"Ideally, we wanted Cassie's brother or sister to be biologically related, but if you change your mind, or things don't work out with your job, we can try and find another surrogate."

"Alice, it will be fine. Why don't we talk about it more tomorrow? When Jasper is here." Bella gave Alice's hands a final squeeze before turning to help Cassie cut her spaghetti meatballs into manageable pieces.

~*-*~

The day passed without any other issues as Bella and Alice caught up. Regular phone calls were good, but nothing was better than sitting on a bench in Union Square Park, gossiping like two old ladies. They watched as Cassie played in the park opposite them, her tiny legs pumping away as she attempted to cross the monkey bars, or as her skirt flew up around her as she came down the swing. Bella had missed the reminder of innocence that Cassie brought with her. Once again she felt a stirring of something within her. Her kaleidoscopic mother would have called her broody, but Bella suspected it was something more. Her whole life, well for as long as she could remember, Bella had tried to be the complete opposite of her mother. Renee Swan had loved her beyond doubt but maternal she was not.

Renee Swan had married Phil Dwyer, an amateur baseball player trying to go pro, when Bella was six. The life of a baseball player was nomadic for the most part, so Renee had sent Bella to live with her father. Renee had loved her beyond doubt but maternal she was not**. **Bella had often felt like the adult and her mother, the child, when they were together during holidays. Bella had gone to college, had settled into a life, in a career and was always there for her family, what was left of it, whenever they needed her. Despite being the complete opposite of her mother, Bella was still terrified she would turn out like Renee, a mother with no maternal instincts and no ability to stay in one place and commit.

Bella knew what the feeling was; it was a want of warm arms that would wrap around her, soft, protective hands that would caress her swollen belly, telling her stories of their future in her ear. For the first time in her life she was feeling unsure of where her life was going**. **It had been four years since her last serious relationship. A small part of her wondered if she was destined to always be alone. Sometimes the loneliness overwhelmed her, especially when she went back to her lonely apartment after leaving Cassie and Alice for the night at their hotel. The thought of going through another pregnancy without someone to share it with depressed her. When the baby was born and with Alice and Jasper, she would once again be on her own to deal with the loss of the baby and the emotions that came with it. She knew that Alice and Jasper would be there with her, but they often got wrapped up in each other, so much in love. Bella wanted that too.

It also might have had something to with the green-eyed Adonis who seemed to plague her thoughts. Alice had caught her constantly zoning out as she imagined running her hand over is stubbled jaw and looking deep into his eyes. It could have been mere minutes that she stared in to his eyes, but it felt like hours. Nothing else existed; noise had faded to barely a hum in the background. She remembered the emotions behind his eyes so vividly. He had stared at her in intense concentration, but there was something else there, something deeper. There was a storm stirring behind his iris's, like he was drowning, not waving. Then it clicked, it was trouble behind his eyes. The auburn haired Adonis was a troubled soul, just like her.

That night was the first time that Bella dreamed of her sculptured-jawed knight in a sharp suit.

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**A huge thank you to my beta Tina72899. Please totally check out her story 'A Pretend Marriage'. Its amazing and so insightful into another side of the Twilight Saga characters not to mention marriage. **

**All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author (that would be ME). No copyright infringement is intend.**

**A/N: Aside from Twilight Saga characters and their respective actors, who would you most like to see in a Tom Ford suit?**

**Sneeky Peakies still being offered (bribed) for reviews - i have no shame!**


	3. Coffee Order: One Adonis to Go

**Its 31C or 89F in temperature here in Sydney...and its MIDNIGHT!!! As i struggle to sleep i decided you guys should benefit!! Enjoy**

**Chapter 3 – Coffee Order: One Adonis to Go**

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Jasper had arrived the day before to join Alice and Cassie for a week. Bella was more than overjoyed to see her brother-in-law again, who was so close she thought of him as a blood brother. Jasper had asked her question after question to make sure she was completely okay with being a surrogate again. She had lost count of the number of "Are you sures?" that both Jasper and Alice had asked. They had agreed that they would use the same obstetrician as with the first surrogacy. Bella liked Dr. Grace. She never felt judged and felt comfortable talking to her without worrying about it being mentioned again when either Jasper or Alice came to an appointment.

The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Bella was about to start her period, and there had been a cancellation that Friday with Dr. Grace at her midtown clinic for her to have the initial blood tests and hormone levels checked. Bella had been up most of the previous night googling the latest IVF treatments, knowing that in six years they had probably changed. Jasper had a low sperm count that made artificial insemination unlikely to be unsuccessful. Bella had often teased him since he had found out that it was all his days in the south riding horses that had killed off his little swimmers. Luckily, Jasper didn't think his lack of sperm made him any less of a man, and he took it on the chin. He had taken turn to tease her about her sticky outie belly button that had appeared around six months into her pregnancy with Cassie.

Bella waited with trepidation for her name to be called after she had re-registered and filled in the forms that probably had taken up a whole forest of trees with the sheer number she had to complete. She had managed to stop Alice coming with her this time. Her legs in stirrups and PAP tests were not something Bella wanted Alice to witness.

"Bella Swan?" An authoritative voice called.

Bella walked slowly into the clinic room to find the familiar face of Dr. Grace sitting at her desk. She stood up with a smile on her face and motioned to the bed in the middle of the room. Bella toed off her shoes and sat up on the bench. She knew what today would involve, so she had dressed appropriately in comfy yoga pants, a tank top and a dark blue NYU zip-top.

"Hello again, Bella."

"Hello, Doctor Grace."

Dr. Grace smiled slightly and shook her head at Bella's nervousness. "I told you last time to call me Michelle. I spoke to Alice and Jasper yesterday, so no need to explain why you are here." Bella smiled, thankful. "You know the tests we need to run and then the procedure?" Bella nodded in confirmation. "So where are you in your cycle?"

"I have two days before I start my period, and it is usually on for five days."

Dr. Grace held a calendar in her hands. "Okay, well I will get a rush on the labs and we should be okay for starting injections in about a week and a half." She handed Bella a gown. "You can go behind the screen and get changed."

Bella moved away hesitantly. She knew what was coming next; needles for blood work and the uncomfortable pain of the PAP test. Mercifully, Alice was going to come over every day and administer the Menopur injections. Bella had tried it once and it had ended up with her having a panic attack, passing out on the bathroom floor and Alice finding her. Needles, blood and Bella did not mix in any way.

Forty minutes later, Bella made her way out of Dr. Grace's office and back out on to street. After the needles and intrusions, the ultrasound had been a doddle. Even so, she was craving a hot chocolate to quell the adrenaline still coursing through her system. She went into the nearest, slightly busy coffee shop and walked up to the bar. Thankful there was only one person in front of her, and she was able to place her order quickly and move to the area where the barista would serve up her hot chocolate with foamed milk and extra marshmallows.

She picked up the large back mug and turned to go find a table when she felt her mug hit something solid, liquid spilling over the hand that was stabilising it at the side, before the mug slipped completely from her hands.

"What the hell?"A velvet-like voice enquired angrily.

Even with anger running through the tones, it sounded like crescendo music to her ears. "I'm so sorry, so sorry." Bella immediately crouched to the floor to pick the fallen mug up. Once it was securely in her hands once more she made to stand up. Half way up she felt the top of her head connect with something hard yet hollow sounding.

"Ouch. Jeeze, are you always this clumsy." The voice spoke again, this time more amused than angry.

Bella stood up fully to find the man wiping at his casual white shirt, now with a fast strip of muddy brown liquid down the front. Finally he looked at her. The breath rushed from her lungs as she struggled to catch her breath. Now familiar moss-green eyes met hers, a spark seemed to be growing behind them. Bella hoped for her sake it was not a spark of enraged lightning in the storm that was still brewing behind his eyes.

"YOU!" She exclaimed in a high pitch voice that surprised even her.

"Me! Fancy _bumping_ into you again." Her Adonis said, unable to suppress his chuckle anymore.

"I am so sorry again." Bella turned as the barista handed her a new hot chocolate.

"Here." He plucked the mug out of her had. "I think for both our sakes I should take that." He grabbed his own coffee from the bar and lead Bella to a small round table with overstuffed armchairs. "I'm Edward, by the way." He held out his hand.

"Bella." She shook it, a blush creeping into her cheeks as she looked away from his eyes and sank into an armchair. The toll of the afternoon was hitting her, especially as she had been up late chatting with Alice and Jasper.

"So, Bella, are you usually this clumsy?"

"I would love to say no, but that would be a lie. I generally spend more time in the Emergency Room than out of it. Thank you for saving me from an even more embarrassing fall on my butt the other day. My niece hasn't learned the art of stopping yet when running at full speed."

"It was my pleasure. Sorry I didn't stop long enough to introduce myself then, I was running late for a lunch meeting."

"It's okay, once Cassie, my niece, is in residence; she demands your full attention to stop her from getting into trouble. So was it successful, your meeting I mean."

"So, so. I work in finance. It's high stress, long hours and very competitive. What about you?"

Bella grimaced a little at his question, as she always did. When she said Shoe Designer, people often looked her up and down and drew two conclusions: One, it was a shallow job that probably required little brains and two, automatically assumed Bella must be obsessed with fashion, and they always wondered why she was always in casual skirts or jeans and t-shirts. To distract her from the look that would appear on his face, she watched as he played with his long fingers as his hands sat on the table in front of them. Briefly her mind wandered to what exactly those long fingers could do.

Taking a deep breath to quell her blush and steel herself for his reaction, though quite why it mattered what he thought she wasn't sure. "Um, I design children's shoes."

He studied her blush and gave her a lopsided grin. "I bet you get to let your imagination run wild. Is it like getting to invent children's toys and games?"

To say Bella was shocked by his reaction was an understatement. "Um…maybe, I guess. I don't know. I haven't tried to invent children's toys before. I do love my job though, so I suppose, yes it is."

After their introduction, the usual questions followed about family, thoughts on the city and other idle chit chat. As an hour or two passed by, their coffee and hot chocolate replaced by a bored barista, they moved onto politics, the election of the new president providing plenty of debate material. The conversation moved easily and Bella forgot that she was usually shy and quiet around new people.

She had noticed that Edward's eyes had brightened from their previous troubled moss green to a more vivid colour. The furrow on his forehead had smoothed out. Edward talked animatedly with his hands, and Bella had dared him to sit on them and try talking. He had lasted eleven seconds before he pulled one out from under his thigh and showed her how big the tyre was on his brothers new jeep they took off-roading the weekend before last. She couldn't help but notice how defined his thigh was, even under his dark wash jeans. He had explained that Friday was casual dress day in his company and that he had taken a half-day, so Bella didn't need to worry about him getting back to the office.

"Emmett loves adventure sports. He got the adrenaline-junkie genes in the family. Though since he married Rosalie, he has had to tone it down a bit."

"Do you still get to see him lots? Does he live near-by?"

"I get to see him when he is in the city. He runs his own project management firm. It's in its early stages and keeping him busy. I usually drive out to Scarsdale for dinner, and we meet up to shoot hoops on a Sunday."

"When I was little, I used to pretend my doll was my little sister. I was so desperate for a brother or sister. Being just me and dad was lonely. He used to go fishing every weekend he wasn't working. I had to sit on the bank because I couldn't be trusted in the boat. Once I was leaning over the side trying to look at all the creatures in the water and I caused the boat to capsize. Me, dad and all his fishing stuff ended up in the lake. Then Alice came into my life and it's been non-stop since. I love her so much, would do anything for her. You have a sister too now, Rosalie? What she like?"

Edward chuckled to himself and Bella got the impression it wasn't a 'ha ha' chuckle. "Rosalie is certainly...a character? When she and Emmett first got together, no one could figure out why. Emmett is a total goofball most of the time, but in essence he is serious and has a very deep heart.

"When I first met Rose, I thought she was superficial and only in it for Emmett's money. She is intimidating, stunning. You will see when you meet her. She also has a very stand-off personality and can be quite hard to get to know. The complete opposite of Emmett. Now she seems to mellow him out a little, keep him grounded in ideas."

Bella couldn't help but notice that he said 'when you meet her' like it was fully expected she would meet his family. It was only the second time she had met Edward and something within her was extremely happy she might be part of his life enough to meet his family.

"They are very stressed at the moment. They've been married a while and want children. They've been trying for over a year and nothing."

Bella laid her hand on top of Edwards and squeezed it in support. No one knew what it was like more than Bella. It was the one problem that words and actions couldn't fix.

Bella glanced at her watch and realised she had been chatting with Edward for over three hours. "I'm really sorry, I have to go." She watched his face fall in disappointment but quickly hid it behind a neutral expression. "My sister Alice and her family are coming over to my house for dinner and I haven't even been to the store. They are staying at the W Hotel but Alice and Cassie are coming to stay with me when Jasper heads back to LA."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you so long." Edward seemed almost sullen.

"Don't be, it's been fun." She paused, unsure of what to do next. Bella reminded herself to Google tips on dealing with hot guys at coffee when she got home. "You should come, to dinner I mean. You probably know more than enough about them. That way they won't be strangers. You know, if you want to." Why was Bella desperate for a guy she had only met twice, on accident, to meet her friends and family?

He smiled at her. "I would like to, but I can't. My parents are flying in tonight from Chicago, and my brother can't pick them up from the airport, so I said I would. Thank you for asking though."

Bella tried not to let her disappointment show. They stood there, neither moving, neither sure what to say next, neither wanting to part.

"Can I see you again?" They both rushed out at the same time before dissolving in to giggles and gawfs.

Bella, in a bold move so unlike her, grabbed a pen from her purse and reached for his hand. She scrawled her cell phone number onto the top of his hand.

Edward led her from the coffee shop, his hand on the small of her back. She felt a slight tingling from the tiny bit of contact with Edward, even through her clothes. The chill in the Fall air caught her as they left the warm confines of the shop.

"Thank you for a wonderful afternoon, Bella, it was fun." He ran a nervous hand over the back of his neck.

Bella smiled. "Yeah, I promise not to spill hot chocolate down you next time."

Slowly Edward moved closer to her and gave her a soft peck on her cheek. His lips were soft and warm against her cooling cheek. He pulled back, his eyes still closed, opening to reveal his vivid eyes back from their earlier disappointment. "Next time, Bella."

Bella watched as he walked down the street, the pedestrian traffic almost parting as this stunning man walked towards them. Next time! A thrill shot through her as she realised there would be a next time. Who was this man, who had walked into her life in a hotel lobby? She had only really known him three hours. Even then did she actually know him? Bella mentally hit herself on the forehead. She never reacted this way to men. She was shy. They made the first move, and she took those moves at face value. Now she was second guessing herself, wondering what he thought of her. What on earth was he doing to her?

~*-*~

It had been a week since she had bumped into Edward in the coffee shop. They had met for coffee a few times in their lunch breaks as it turned out that Edward's office was only a block from hers. Their conversations flowed seamlessly as if they had known each other for years, not mere days. No topic seemed out of bounds, from favourite films to the story of how Bella couldn't walk past a Disney Store without buying a pair of character socks for two years due to a lost bet. Bella had told him about her family and how Alice became her sister. Edward had told her tales of the antics he and his brother, who lived in Scarsdale, just outside the city, used to get up to and drive their mother mad. She was shocked at the amount of hours he worked and even further appalled at his admission that he survived on eating out or the occasional frozen meal. He had quickly followed with that it wasn't that he did not know how to cook, his mother had taught him well, it was more he didn't like to. Bella found herself issuing an invitation to her apartment for at least one home-cooked meal a week.

The only day they hadn't met was Friday. It had been a week since her appointment with Doctor Grace and, except for slight anemia, she was perfectly healthy and most importantly not pregnant. Bella had been unable to stifle a laugh when Dr. Grace had scheduled a pregnancy test as part of the routine testing before beginning fertility treatment. She had even joked that it would be the Immaculate Conception as Bella hadn't gotten any in six months.

She had used her lunchtime to go into the doctors to pick up her Menopur injections that she would take for ten days, starting the following Tuesday. Dr. Grace had warned her that they would closely monitor her this time. When Bella had started the injections during her pregnancy with Cassie, her ovaries had become overstimulated causing unpleasant symptoms for Bella. Alice would be moving from the hotel to Bella's house on the Sunday, after they dropped Jasper off at the airport for his flight home.

Bella had wanted to tell Edward about her situation with her surrogacy but she was unsure of where their friendship was going. They still hadn't told Joanna, Alice's mom and Bella's step-mom, about Bella offering to be a surrogate again. She had to know first. Bella wasn't denying it, she had feelings for Edward, but there was no way she was ready to tell him about them yet, not until she knew what he felt for her, if anything beyond friendship. First she had to sound Alice out as to how she felt about Bella maybe having a boyfriend during the pregnancy. She didn't have a clue how to go about starting that conversation, and how to introduce Edward into the mix. Somehow she knew it would have to involve a bribery of shopping; Alice's great love and Bella's idea of hell. It was amazing the sacrifices you were willing to make for your sister.

As for meeting Edward... With Charlie gone, there was no 'come meet my daddy', but he did have to pass Alice and Joanna's strict inspection. It was a tall order for the man. There hadn't been a boyfriend yet that had survived two weeks after a turn down from her family. Bella's family was important to her, and she respected their thoughts and feelings. They had never steered her wrong. However much she loved her family, it still made Bella nervous. Introducing anyone to the over-excited and inquisitive ball of energy that was Alice was almost stomach churning in the anxiety department.

_Maybe I can convince Edward to come for dinner and gauge Alice's reaction over my meatballs that Alice and Cassie both love, and wine. Yes, must have wine. Alice, Cassie, and the man my ovaries are screaming at me to make mine. Wine is a necessity._

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**A huge thank you to my beta Tina72899. She gives me such great ideas, she should get some serious credit! Please totally check out her story 'A Pretend Marriage'. Its amazing and i am totally loving her Esme!**

**Also another story very close to my heart and completely life altering is Intersection by Lillybellis. Its a beautiful story and pain and healing. **

**All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author (that would be ME). No copyright infringement is intend.**

**A/N: How do you take your coffee/tea/hot beverage/alcohol containing tipple? (Think i covered all options there)**

**Sneeky Peakies still being offered (bribed) for reviews - i have no shame!**


	4. Mine Fields and Hospital Visits

**Let me just say, from here on in. I have never been through IVF and pregnancy to full-term. I am relaying on my own research, my university aquirred knowledge and several maternal-sort sources (Hi Michelle). There may be holes along the way and no doubt a couple of oppsie daisies but please bear with me.**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for all the wonderful review, i actually managed to answe them all this time. So many alerts is just wonderful too, but reviews are all kinds of awesome too!**

**_Flashback in Italics_**

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Chapter 4 – Mind Fields and Hospital Visits

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**Saturday November 7 – Injections Day 5**

"Bella will you just hold still?" Alice exclaimed, exasperation clear in her voice.

Bella squirmed again and Alice slapped her palm down on the exposed skin at the top of Bella's butt.

"Alice! _Please_ stop doing that. I am not some errant child that you need to discipline." Bella huffed but stilled, her hands gripping the side of the bathroom sink as Alice stood behind her.

"Coulda fooled me." Alice muttered under her breath. "We've been doing this for five days, and it is the same drill day in, day out. You did this last time as well. Tensing up just makes the injection more painful." Alice went forward with the needle again, and Bella flinched out of the way. "For goodness sake Bella! Find your happy place and go to it. I don't care if it's your workshop or your high school prom. It could be Podunkville, Alaska for all I care. Just go there." She set the sealed injection back on the counter top, out of sight of Bella.

"Sorry." Bella mumbled. She knew exactly where she was going to go.

The night before last, on what had been a stressful Thursday for Bella, Edward had come around to her apartment for his first 'Bella's home-cooked meal', and of course, to meet Alice for the first time. After making sure Cassie had something to keep her occupied, Bella and Alice sat down to catch-up. Knowing Alice all too well and her tendencies to interrupt, Bella bribed Alice with a shopping trip in the next week as long as she promised not to butt in until Bella had finished what she had to say. Alice happily agreed by making a motion to lock her lips and throw the key over her shoulder and waited for Bella to start.

**_Thursday – 5 November (Flashback)_**

_"I have something I need to talk to you about." Bella watched as worry filled Alice's eyes, but she said nothing. "It's nothing serious; I'm not backing out of anything." Alice's eyes returned to their usual curious look. "I've met someone, a new friend."Bella laughed as she watched Alice jump up and down in her seat, a huge smile on her face, mumbling something behind her closed mouth before she was silenced by a look from Bella._

_"His name is Edward, and he is just a **friend**," shedrew outthe word. "I met him the day I came to meet you in the hotel when you first arrived. He helped me up after Cassie knocked me to my feet."_

Bella took a deep breath steeling herself for Alice's reaction. When she was prepared for almost anything, she motioned to Alice to unlock her mouth.

_"Tell me about him." Alice said, folding her hands into her lap._

_Bella was stunned into silence at the lack of onslaught from Alice. "Um...he is twenty eight, same as me, tall and works in investments in the city." She paused to give the Spanish Inquisition a chance to cross-examine her, but she was met with silence. "He has the most amazing apple-green eyes and this hair that looks like he sticks his fingers in an electrical socket every morning. It's all over the place and the most incredible colour. It's not full-blown copper, but it's not brown either; it's a dark auburn I think. You'll be able to tell me. And we talk. About everything! I told him all about you and Joanna. I even told him about Charlie." Alice's eyes widened in shock; Bella never talked about what happened to Charlie."He's told me all about his family."_

_"Have you told him about..." Alice made motions towards Bella's stomach._

_Bella looked away, her eyes to the floor. "No. There isn't really anything to tell anyone yet. Plus we haven't even told your mom yet, so I want to keep it under wraps until there is actually someone growing in here. So you wouldn't mind me having a boyfriend during the surrogacy?"_

_'No, not at all. Jasper and I have no calls on your life during this. We didn't last time, and this one is no different. "Plus he's just a 'friend'," Alice wrapped her fingers around the word in air commas. "so he really doesn't have to know anything about the surrogacy unless you want him to."_

_"Right, a friend." Bella trailed off. _You see the thing is, he is coming around tonight. For dinner. Here, with us." _Bella looked at Alice nervously as a bright smile appeared on her face._

_Bella had cooked Cassie's favourite dish of spaghetti meatballs and Alice had more than approved of Edward, a knowing smile on her lips the whole way through dinner. There had only been one near miss._

_Alice had put a bottle of 2005 Merlot on the table and Bella moved to fill their glasses after they sat down._

_"Should you be drinking that?" Alice whispered to Bella as she motioned to Bella's now full wine glass._

_"It's fine. That will come later." Bella whispered harshly back. Alice had said, just before Edward arrived, that Alice and Jasper didn't rule her life and now Alice was bringing up her alcohol intake. Bella had done the pregnancy thing before._

_They both became aware of the silence at the dinner table. Cassie was concentrating hard on trying to get her spaghetti to stay on the fork, and Edward was watching their exchange with unmasked confusion. Bella realised that he had heard them and cleared her throat._

_"So Alice, how is it going with finding a buyer in LA?" Bella muttered, shooting Alice a warning glance._

_The subject change had worked, and Edward joined in with comments on the current market and possible contacts he could speak to on the West coast._

_xxxx_

_Alice and Bella had been in the kitchen, stacking the dishwasher and generally just cleaning up the mess, Edward was with Cassie in the living room, no doubt she was loading up some Pixar DVD to watch before her bedtime. Alice had Bella to leave the rest of the dishes to Alice and to go join her guest. She had wandered through to the living room, her ears pricked for what movie she would have to save Edward from. Instead, she stopped dead at the door frame to the room. Edward was seated on the sofa, Cassie sitting snuggled into his side as he read aloud from 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' book that had been Bella's as a child. She leaned against the doorframe, unwilling to disturb them as Edward sounded each character out in a different voice. She felt Alice come up behind her._

_"He's a keeper." She whispered in her ear before she went into the room and told her daughter that it was nearly time for her bath before bed. _

~*-*~

"There you go, all done." Alice proclaimed as she put the injection body and needle into a sharps box on her bathroom counter. "Wherever you went, you should go there more often, you didn't even shudder."

"It was nice." Bella muttered cryptically. "So what are you up to today?"

Alice fluffed her hair in the mirror. "Cassie and I are going house hunting and shopping. Then we are looking around for a school in Queens. We know we want to live there, so I thought we could start with the schools."

Bella lowered her foamy toothbrush from her mouth. "You know, Edward's brother lived in Queens before he and Rosalie, Edward's sister-in-law, moved out to Scarsdale. Maybe I should speak to him, get the inside track on property there."

"That would be fantastic. What are you up to today?" Alice grimaced as Bella rinsed and spat into the sink.

"I have an appointment with Dr. Grace today. We need to check there is no hyper stimulation this time." Alice looked at her in concern but Bella held up her hand. "It's fine. They are going to give me a quick ultrasound and a blood test for hormone levels. Seriously Alice, it will be fine. I'm just glad we have an OB/GYN that is open one Saturday a month. My work schedule is too hectic already with days off for the retrieval and implantation." Bella watched as Alice stepped in front of her, on her left side in front of the mirror. Worry lines, an uncommon look for Alice, were on her face. Bella placed her left hand on Alice's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze. "Alice, I may be the one getting pregnant here, but I know how hard this is on you too. I also know you feel you should be there for everything, but trust me, there are some things you don't. You seeing my PAP tests or the cervical cleaning are completely unnecessary not to mention creepy."

Alice moved her hand up and covered Bella on her shoulder. "Love you."

"Love you too. Now get out of my bathroom, so I can take a shower and get this show on the road. Anyway, I think I can hear Cassie's stomach rumbling for breakfast from here." Bella murmured as Alice skipped out of the bathroom.

~*-*~

**Friday 13 November – Retrieval Day**

Bella sat nervously in Alice's Porsche, glancing back at the small suitcase that sat behind the driver's seat.

"Alice, that wasn't needed. I'm going in for day surgery, remember. All I need is a change of clothes, a robe and some slippers. You packed slippers right? Hospital floors are really cold."

Bella's hands were red from being rung through all that morning. Hospitals made Bella nervous, really nervous. She had been in and out of them over the years for various klutzy accidents resulting in stitches, plaster casts and more support bandages than she could shake a stick at. This time it was different. This time she was going into the devil's lair for the retrieval of her now mature eggs. Alice had been with her when she went for the HCG injection yesterday. Thankfully there were no broken fingers for Alice when she held Bella's hand, but it was a close call. Usually Bella would be against Alice spending hours in the hospital when Bella would be knocked out and unaware of her sister's wait, but when Dr. Grace had mentioned needles through her vaginal wall and ovaries, Bella had all but gotten down on her knees and begged Alice to be there when she woke up from the general anaesthetic.

Alice was twittering innately about Cassie being at a school in Queens, seeing if she liked the children and teachers. Who knew schools allowed for schooling interviews for six year olds? Bella could hear Alice, but she would never be able to tell you a single thing Alice said. It did, however, make the journey to Dr. Grace's hospital clinic in the city. The date flashed on the dashboard of Alice's terrifying yellow Porsche.

November 14, it had been over three weeks since she had nearly toppled Edward in the W Hotel, Union Square. Over three weeks of lunches, coffee and two dinners. Over three weeks and Bella was no clearer to how Edward felt about her. She had been close at one point, but that had been quashed.

**_Thursday – 12 November (Flashback)_**

_She had bumped into Edward yesterday, outside the building where Dr. Grace held her non-surgical clinics. They had gone to get the HCG injection, and Bella was a nervous wreck leaving the doctor's office. Alice had been with her but had quickly made excuses and left them, subtly winking as she left them standing in the street. Edward had been heading back from a client breakfast meeting. _

_"Wow, I didn't think I would bump into you here." Edward exclaimed, a wide smile appearing on his face. _

_Bella blinked, still in shock at seeing him. "Um...yeah." She shook her head back to the present. "Alice and I were just heading to brunch. I have the next two days off, and Cassie is in school, so we thought we would take advantage. Alice got a call about a house that hasn't been put on the market yet. Your brothers contacts are really paying off for her."_

_"Well, since your brunch date has abandoned you, I'll have to take you to lunch." He held out his arm for her to grasp. _

_Bella took Edward's arm, and they started to walk up the street to a crossing point. "Can you just take the whole day off like that?" _

_Edward pulled out a palm sized black phone and flicked through the menus before putting it to his ear. "Hello Marcia, can you clear my schedule." He paused while the person on the other end replied. "Okay, move him to one tomorrow, I will work through lunch. I can see Stevenson at four. My parents are delaying their visit until Saturday." He paused again. "I have found an abandoned friend on the street and am taking her for brunch." He laughed. "Yes, it's Bella. I will see you tomorrow. If you finish up the Mendle project, why not go home early."Edward smiled as he hung up on his assistant. _

_"So where do you want to go?"_

_"I have an idea. Why don't we go to my apartment, and I can make us brunch, we can talk. You seem a bit on edge, and I have a feeling being in a busy cafe isn't going to help."_

_Bella smiled at him, so considerate, noticing her unease but completely unaware of the reason behind it. Instead she ran her hand along his arm and squeezed his hand in response before dropping it to her side. Edward caught it and intertwined his fingers in hers, squeezing back. They walked along the sidewalk hand in hand until Edward stuck his free arm out and hailed down a yellow cab. Even as they slipped inside for the ride up to Edward's apartment on the Upper East side, their hands didn't break._

_Bella was shocked at the sudden intimate feelings that swept over her as Edward rubbed tight circles on the top of her hand with his thumb. There had been accidental brushes and the touching of fingertips to her skin as he brushed an errant curl from her face. This, his hand in hers, was something concrete. It was a move that he had initiated. Bella took it as a sign that his feelings were following hers. She was desperate to know about the man with tortured eyes and pained expressions. He thought that no one saw his brief lapses into the past, but Bella saw. She saw everything and battled every time to stop herself running her fingers over his furrowed brow and relax his worries away._

_Finally the cab pulled up at Edward's building, and he led her pass the doorman and up in the elevator. His hand had yet to let her go, not that she was complaining. She could feel the hardened skin at his fingertips. It was reassuring to feel the coarseness of his skin when she thought the hands of a financier would be smooth and pampered. The mystery of Edward Cullen deepened. _

_He had led her into his apartment. Her wonderment at why she could only see two doors on the hallway were answered when he pushed open the door to his apartment. From the size of the open plan living, dining and kitchen area, you could only fit two apartments to each floor. Bella toed off her black patent ballet flats off as Edward unlaced his black formal shoes. _

_"Come in, make yourself at home. I'm just going to go and change." He motioned to his grey suit and pale blue tie with his free hand as he backed away from her. Their hands finally dropped as the distance stretched their arms. Bella felt bereft without his touch. _

_Tentative exploring revealed very little of Edward. There were few photos around his living room. Of the few there were, most were in black and white, there were photos of an older couple. One was of them embracing, the man had his arms around the woman's shoulder from behind, he was looking down, smiling so full of love. From the similar jaw and the crazy, untamed hair, Bella would bet that the man in the photo was his dad or a close relation. The strikingly beautiful woman had to be his mom or his aunt. There were other photos of who Bella assumed to be his brother from Edward's previous descriptions. The woman in the photo beside him was stunning. She was tall and her pose was statuesque as she curled her body into the taller man's side. The intimidation and she hadn't even met them yet. There appeared to be spaces where frames had been removed from the wall and others not put in their place. Yet another mystery of Edward Cullen._

_Her attention was drawn back to the kitchen by the sound of a steel bowl on the marble countertop. Edward stood by the fridge, pulling ingredients out randomly. He had changed into a short- sleeved football top with 'CULLEN' written in frayed letters on the back, and a pair of navy training joggers. His hair looked wet where he had washed the gel out he had used for the day to try and tame his out of control hair, albeit unsuccessfully. No matter what he did, it seemed, he just couldn't get his hair to cooperate._

_"What do you think of a Greek salad and some chicken noodle soup?" Edward asked, standing beside the steel bowl, various vegetables to one side of him. _

_"Huh?" She had seen his mouth moving, but the way the shirt showed his lean, taught muscles distracted her, and she didn't hear a word._

_"Soup and salad for lunch? Should warm us up."_

_Bella could do little but sit on the arm of one of his couches and watched as Edward's lithe fingers ripped apart salad leaves and wielded a knife that cut the vegetables and feta. _

_They ate in relative silence until Edward cleared away the dishes to the kitchen and motioned for her to take a seat in the living area._

_"So I have something very embarrassing to admit." Edward muttered as he handed her a glass of wine and sat beside her._

_"Oh?"_

_"I went to Bloomingdales too look at your shoes." He grinned as the blush he loved so very much about Bella spread across her cheeks. "They were amazing. They make you want kids just so that you can buy them for them. The fire engine ones were my favourite. I wanted to be a fireman growing up."_

_"Thank-you Edward, that means the world to me." She paused as he put a hand on her chin and lifted her bashful face up to meet his._

_"Do you want children someday? You could try your designs on them."_

_Bella shifted uncomfortably. This was straying into an area she wasn't ready to go yet. "I do want kids of my own someday." She worded carefully. "Plenty of people that I work with have kids, so I am never short of test subjects._

_"Can I ask you something that has been bothering me for a while?" Edward nodded. "When we first bumped into each other, you looked so stressed and a little upset. What happened?"_

_"I was having a lunch meeting with a client. Things were a little awkward."_

_"Did it not go well?"_

_"That would be an understatement. The client that day is the father of my ex-girlfriend. We had split up three weeks previously, and it was messy. Her family weren't properly informed of what was going on, and I wasn't about to tell him."_

_"So he blamed you? What happened?" Bella worried, she was entering into the realms of nosiness now but the idea of Edward being in a relationship just before she had met him caused an ache in her chest._

_"He did." Edward's eyes signalled an end to the conversation and he turned to look at the mantle piece in distraction._

_Bella withdrew slightly and watched as Edward moved further away from her on the sofa. It might have only been a few inches, but it felt like an entire ocean between them. She left shortly afterwards and they had exchanged a few emails since, but things were not as they once were._

**Friday 13 November – Retrieval Day**

Bella drew herself out of the memory and tried to smile as she greeted the receptionist at the entry to the day surgery clinic.

"Hello, I am Bella Swan. I am checking in for a retrieval procedure with Dr. Grace." Bella's voice shook as the nerves set in.

The receptionist smiled at her in reassurance. "No problem. We will take you through, get you to fill in the admittance forms, and then Dr. Grace will be around to see you."

The lady in pink and green scrubs led her through to a private room where Alice deposited her bag and sat beside Bella on the bed as she filled in the forms. Bella rolled her eyes at the same innate questions of allergies and previous hospital visits, to which Bella answered '_Too many to name'_. After a nurse came in to reclaim the forms and drop a gown on Bella's bed, Alice helped her change. She tied the back of the gown tight, trying to preserve some of Bella's dignity.

Bella lay back in the bed as the nurse reappeared to start her pre-op check and to put a numbing cream on the top of Bella's hand.

"So what did you tell Edward about the next couple of days?" Alice asked from her side.

Bella sighed. They had told Joanna about starting the fertility treatment for surrogacy again. She had been over the moon for them and promised a visit in a couple of weeks to hopefully help Alice and Jasper settle into their new house and to support Bella through, what would hopefully be, another journey into pregnancy. Still Bella did not feel comfortable telling Edward. More so after he shut down their conversation about his ex-girlfriend. She was chicken of his judgment and she knew it!

"Um, I told him I will be away for a couple of days at a conference and probably very busy. We haven't really talked since I went to his apartment for lunch. It's been one extreme to the other. We've gone from phone calls every night to polite two line emails. I don't have the energy to deal with that and this at the same time." Bella made motions to her stomach.

"Mark my words. He will be in touch when he is thinking rational again. I saw the look in his eyes Bella, and mark my words, he is probably missing you like crazy by now."

Bella didn't have time to contradict her sister as Dr. Grace rushed into the room in all her salmon coloured scrubs and butterfly patterned skull cap glory.

"Welcome back Bella. So you are first on my list today for retrieval, so there shouldn't be any need for you to stay overnight. We've been here before so you are aware of the after effects from the surgery. Like any general anaesthetic surgery, there are risks associated, and you are aware of these?" Bella nodded her head and clasped tighter at Alice's hand. "Also afterward there might be some spotting and cramping, but you will have Alice at home to help?" I would also advise you from picking up heavy loads for a couple of days, that includes Cassie." Dr. Grace narrowed her eyes knowingly at Bella.

"I know, I know. So when will we be back for the implantation?"

Dr. Grace flipped over Bella's file. "I have the 20th here, one week from now. If there is any change to that, I will call you. I will also call to confirm the date. Is Jasper coming in for it?"

"God no, I wouldn't subject my brother-in-law to watching as someone puts a tube...up there!" Bella exclaimed unknowingly making upward motions with her fingers.

"Quite right. Now let's be going."

Dr. Grace moved back to the door and signalled to someone. Bella looked up at Alice and found the reassurance she needed in her eyes and the squeeze of her hand.

"I'll be here when you get back, I am going nowhere." Alice muttered in her ear as two orderlies came in to wheel her bed down to the pre-op room.

Bella took a deep breath and let go of Alice's hand.

_I really hate hospitals!_

_

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_**Major happy hugs and thanks to my Beta Tina72899. She has been a huge star with this chapter and navigating through the flashbacks (which all made sense in my head - go figure). **

**Also please check out:  
Chasing Cars - XOXOGossipGirl21 - Love Daddy Edward and a cat loving Bella!!!**

**A/N: Where is your happy place?**

**Briberies for reviews offered: Sneeky Peakies up for grabs!!! - My shame has absolutely no limits!**


	5. Crossed Fingers and Toes

**Dedicated to CopaseticMomma who keeps me entertained with her weekend PM's.**

**

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Chapter 5 – Crossed Fingers and Toes**

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Slowly a bright light filled her vision. Muffled beeps and hushed voices came back into clarity. Bella could sense someone standing beside her as she tried to open her eyes. The lids of her eyes were heavy, weighed down by deep sleep. She tried to lift her hand and grab the person shuffling around to her left side. Her arm moved slightly, but she could feel a tugging on it.

"Alice?" She whispered, slapping her lips together in a bid to rid herself of cotton mouth.

"It's okay Bella, you're in recovery now." A kind voice said to her as they stroked her hand in comfort.

Gradually, the fog in her brain cleared and her thoughts returned. Dr. Grace, the retrieval operation and Alice waiting for her. "Michelle?" She muttered.

"Michelle? Oh, Dr. Grace is in surgery and will see you later. She said to tell you it was a success. Now go back to sleep Bella."

Bella didn't even try to fight as her burdened eyes closed again and she drifted off to nothingness.

~*-*~

The first feeling was nausea. Nausea and a thumping resounding in her head. On her right hand she could feel a pressure and the dull pad of tapping. Peeling her crusted eyes open, Bella felt a muted light come rushing through.

"Bella?" She would know that voice anywhere.

"Alice?" Her hand flew from Alice's grasp to her mouth. Alice immediately lunged forward with a coral coloured plastic, hospital issue bowl and turned her head away as Bella proceeded to vomit into it. Always the same.

_And so the throwing up begins._

Bella swallowed the water greedily after Alice took the soiled bowl away. Always the same; the sickness and the migraine that came after the general anaesthetic. It had been a while since Bella had had one and she had almost forgotten. Alice was helping her to gingerly sit up against the thin pillows when Dr. Grace walked in.

"Hello Bella, how are you feeling?" She asked, picking up Bella's chart from the foot of the bed.

"A bit sore and sick. You've changed into blue scrubs. Should I take this as good news or bad?"

"I had a newborn throw up on me hence the change in scrubs. Occupational hazard I am afraid. We can get you something for the pain and the nausea." She put the chart back and moved to perch her on the other side of the bed from Alice. "It was an excellent harvest. We have viable eggs out of fifteen. I know you have done this before, but I will run through the process again.

"We'll take them away and fertilise them with Jaspers sample he provided a couple of weeks ago. Leave them to develop and see how many we get as viable embryos. We are hoping for at least five. I have made you an appointment on November 20th for you to come in for the implantation. You will need to lie down for two hours afterward, so bring an iPod or a book. Maybe there is some truth to the old myth of having sex upside-down assisting with pregnancy. Alice, you will be with Bella like last time?" Alice nodded, soaking the information in. "We will use two eggs this time because Cassie was a first round success, and you don't want a multiple births. Any questions?" Both Alice and Bella shook their heads. "We will try you with lunch in a couple of hours, and if you keep it down with no problems, you should be able to go home around two this afternoon."

Bella watched as Dr. Grace left the room and turned to Alice. She gave Bella a half hearted smile. Bella knew exactly what she was thinking. She was feeling the guilt of Bella having to go through all the procedures just so Alice could have her family. For about the millionth time, Alice wished she had gone to the doctors the second time, as soon as she knew she was ill. It might have saved them all some heartache and pain. Also, she couldn't help but feel partly to blame for the turmoil that Bella was facing over telling Edward about the pregnancy and surrogacy.

~*-*~

**Friday November 20 – Implantation Day**

"Come on, Alice. If you don't move it we are going to be late."

A 'humph' followed from the dressing room. Saks was having a sale and Alice claimed not to be able to resist. Apparently it had a calming effect on her.

"ALICE!" Bella yelled. "We. Are. Going. To. Be. Late."

"I am coming." Alice exclaimed, flying from the dressing room and handing all but two items back to the attendant.

"So it will be Christmas, soon! What do you want me to tell Baby Whitlock Number Two? Oh did you know that a sale at Saks made us miss your implantation date, that's why you arrived thrfee months later than planned?"

"You wouldn't!" Alice exclaimed.

The look on Bella's face said otherwise and Alice dropped the garments she was carrying on a nearby rack and pulled Bella towards the entrance. Luckily, this was one week that Bella wouldn't have to worry about bumping into Edward again and having to explain why she wasn't in work. He was in Chicago meeting with a couple of clients before spending the weekend with his parents. She had noticed that he had been slightly distant of late, but she put it down to work pressure. Things between them hadn't been strained, but she was missing the easy nature of their...their what?

Bella was not a girl for labels and she certainly didn't have everything in her life defined, but damn it, she wanted whatever was going on between her and Edward defined. People had asked about her recent perk in happiness and what was causing it. The fertility hormones were part of it, but they were more the part of it causing her emotionally instability. Edward was the cause of her glow and smiles, and she wanted to shout it from the rooftops that it was her boyfriend that did this to her. But she couldn't.

Edward hadn't asked her out or made anything official to her, and he had never once introduced her as his girlfriend. She had been his friend, his good friend and _his_ Bella but never his _girlfriend, _Bella.

The wait in the waiting room had been short, and Bella was whisked into a room that resembled a minor injuries clinic. She had been in plenty of those. No scary, industrial looking equipment. A single bed dominated the middle of the room. It was a bed she would hopefully be laying on a lot in the coming nine months. There was an ultrasound machine beside the bed with a table, implements hidden by a green cloth.

The implantation process wasn't a pleasant process, made more so by the slight indignity Bella often felt at all things stirrup and gynaecologically related. Cervix cleanings and catheter insertions were not an enjoyable experience for any woman. Alice was waiting for her on a seat beside the bed as Bella came back from changing into yet another open backed hospital gown. No one in their right mind ever got used to a dress that flashed your butt if the wind got up. She could tell Alice was nervous. This is where having a good OB/GYN and God on your side was needed. If they failed now, Bella would have to start the process again, and Alice and Jasper would have to find the additional funds to go again.

Finally the wait was over as Dr. Grace poked her head around the door before entering.

"Hey Bella, Alice." Dr. Grace smiled at them. Bella and the Whitlock family were amongst some of her favourite patients. They did everything that was asked of them, knew all of their options and made rational decisions. Theirs was a surrogacy she could enjoy. Usually there would be preoccupations if the surrogate would pull out half way through the initial process or changed her mind and kept the baby when her own egg had been used. It was a process fraught with potholes and required nerves of steel from both parties.

"You going to stay for the whole procedure, Alice?"

"If that's okay, Doctor Grace."

"I wish you two would get into the habit of calling me Michelle again. We are going to be seeing a lot of each other over the coming months. Of course you can stay, Alice, I think, Bella, would prefer it." Bella nodded in response. "Well, let's get started."

Dr. Grace pulled the stirrups up, hidden away under the bed to spare blushes of the male patients. Bella had always found them intimidating, so she was glad that they spent most of the time hidden. Bella raised her legs, making sure Alice was up by her head, and the procedure got underway.

xxxx

Alice stared in wonder at the ultrasound screen. The technician moved the scope over Bella's abdomen, pushing down to get a clearer picture. She watched as the catheter moved up the screen, Dr. Grace pointing out that they were moving through the cervix and into the uterine canal. Next stop, the oven. The screen shifted to a darker red, which Dr. Grace informed them, was good news. A lump rose in Alice's throat. She wondered what they would see on her ultrasound. When Bella first underwent the procedure with Cassie, Alice used to think that one would see a deserted wasteland, barren, with the odd tumbleweed blowing in the wind. Now that she was older and had Cassie, her thinking had changed. Circumstance had led to her inability to have a child biologically hers, but circumstance had also lead Bella into her life, and for that she would be forever grateful. They watched in wonder as a small circle on the screen, about the size of a large full stop, was implanted into the lining of Bella's womb, followed by another a short distance away.

"We've placed the two eggs in, and now it is a waiting game. Bella, I will need you to lie here for two hours. Then we'll check them again, and you should be free to go."

Bella nodded and winced as the catheter was removed from her. "Alice, why don't you go back to Saks? I'm just going to plug myself into my iPod and read my book."

"But, Bella..." Alice started.

"No, Alice. Please go. You can't sit still for two minutes, and there is not enough Ritalin in the clinic to keep you in that chair for two hours."

"Okay, on one condition. I get to buy you at least two maternity items, and bras don't count."

Bella ran through her options; they were limited. She knew for a fact that Alice had swatch sets in her bag and avoiding that trauma was worth more than two pieces of clothing she was going to need anyway. "Okay, but no skirts more than an inch above the knee, _my_ knees. Oh, and no heels!" Bella stuck out her hand and grasped at Alice's arms as she passed by on her way out of the door. "It's going to be okay, Alice."

Alice offered her a half smile, and Bella let her go. She knew what was going through Alice's mind, and she knew it wouldn't stop until the little plus sign appeared on a pregnancy test. Bella also knew that the guilt would never shift from Alice, no matter what reassurances Bella gave her.

On reflex she reached for her purse and pulled out her iPod and cell phone. It was showing one text message, from Edward. He had left early that morning for Chicago to meet some clients and spend the weekend with his parents. Even though he would be spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with them, he wanted to talk with his parents without all the family chaos that would come with the invasion of Emmett, Rosalie and his maternal grandparents.

Her cell began to vibrate in her hand. She looked down at the screen and smiled. Edward.

"Hello."

"Bella? It's, Edward."

Bella stifled a chuckle. "So my caller ID tells me. How was your flight?"

"It was fine. I sat next to a lady who was off to see a new grandchild. She had sixteen already, but she was so excited about meeting number seventeen. It was sweet really. How is work going?"

Bella lowered her eyes in guilt, even though Edward couldn't see her. "It's busy. I need to get my designs finished and sent off so samples can be made, and I have another project on the go, so life is hectic. What are up to with your parents this weekend?"

"Nothing over strenuous. I am playing golf with my dad tomorrow and then just catching up with my mom. She was asking about you."

"You've told your parents about me?" Bella asked in disbelief. Alice may of met Edward, but Joanna didn't really know anything about him yet, just that he was a new friend in her life.

"Sure I have. Bella, despite what you may think, you are an important person in my life, and I talk about all the important things in my life with my mom."

"So you're a momma's boy then?" She asked, trying to deflect the conversation out of awkward territory.

"Of course. Emmett is very much my father's son. It's where he gets his _wonderful_ sense of humour from. What about you, what are you up to this weekend."

"Just hanging around with Cassie, catching up for lost time. Alice and I are going to start teaching her to ride her bike without stabilisers. So, if she has inherited my clumsiness genes, which she probably has, there may be a visit to the Emergency Room required."

"I thought you and Alice were step-sisters."

Bella panicked, her heart racing in response to Edward's quick observations. "We are, I mean...sometimes I forget that Alice and I aren't real sisters. In blood I mean. If Cassie hangs around with me, she tends to pick up my bad habits."

Edward laughed. He loved Bella's interactions with Cassie. On the times he had been around for a weekly dinner he often observed them covertly as she played with her before her bath or in the bath. He was so sure that Bella would make an excellent mother one day. He only hoped that he could be there to see it too.

"I have to go, Bella. My cab has arrived at my client's office. Have a good weekend and will see you on Monday?"

"Sure, usual place for lunch. See you soon and have a nice weekend too."

Bella smiled and placed her iPod buds in her ears. The sounds of Kate Miller-Heike gently lulled her to sleep on the small hospital bed while she waited for the next member of the Whitlock family to implant themself into her womb wall.

~*-*~

A little while later, Alice woke Bella and helped her to redress. Now it was a waiting game. A tense two weeks were ahead of them.

Edward lifted his small bag out of the rental car and made his way up the rest of the driveway to his parent's house. Curtains twitched on the first floor and Edward counted to ten. It only took his mother nine seconds to make it down the stairs and wrench open the front door.

"Edward!" The woman exclaimed as she ran down the wooden front steps to him.

There was no doubt in anyone's mind; Edward was definitely Esme Cullen's son. From her beautiful styled caramel, bronze shaded hair to her jade green eyes. To say she had aged well was an understatement. Aside from a few laughter lines, that showed the joys and trials life had brought the Cullen family, and a look of maturity, she appeared the same as she did when she had Edward twenty eight years previously.

"Mom, you act like it has been a lifetime since you've seen me." He joked as she stood on her tiptoes to hug her youngest son.

"Two months is a life time to a mother, Edward."

Esme had both flown to New York to be with Edward when he told them of his break-up with Tanya. Carlisle had a full surgery schedule, but he had wanted to be there too. He didn't need to be supported and mollycoddled, but Esme wanted to be there to distract her son and be there in person if he wanted to talk. Instead she had boxed up Tanya's possessions from Edward's apartment and had them sent to her parent's house. She would have loved to have said she had hated Tanya from the start and that she had never thought she was good enough for her darling boy. That would be a lie; she had liked Tanya the three or so times that they had met her. Not to the point where they were friends or she was happy to see Tanya as her daughter-in-law. It was more an attitude of if Edward was happy, then Esme would make an effort with whomever was making him happy.

"Come on in. Dinner will be ready in about an hour and half. Your dad has just called to tell me he is just out of surgery and will be home shortly."

Esme walked into the house with Edward, her arm around his waist and his slung over her shoulder. Something was different from the last time she had seen him. Sure, he still carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, but the worry lines of his face seemed to have eased, and he seemed to walk a little taller. Knowing her sons, only the way a mother would, she knew Edward would come to her when he was ready but she was hedging her bets it was something to do with a girl called Bella he had been talking about so much recently.

"I'm just going to head upstairs and have a shower and finish up some work, so I am free for the weekend."

"Okay I will give you a shout when dinner is ready." Edward paused to look back at his mother. "It's good to have you here, Edward."

He gave her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and walked up the stairs.

xxxx

The shower had worked wonders to clear his head of all the thoughts that seemed to plague him. On the other hand, he had never been more thankful of his en-suite bathroom attached to his childhood room. Sharing a bathroom with Emmett had been beyond torturous; especially as Esme had insisted that they help keep it clean every two weeks. After a yelling match to end all yelling matches, when you are twelve years old, Esme had redesigned his overly spacious room and built him an en-suite. His mom had stacked it with fresh towels and his favourite toiletries.

After dressing in his old high school team sweats, he sank onto his old bed and took a deep breath. The dark blue, standard issue teenage sheets had been replaced with lighter blue ones, but it was still his old bed. He would have loved to have said that his bed brought back lots of memories of girls that had snuck into his room, but that would have been a lie. He didn't lose his virginity until orientation week of university, and the only girl that had been in his bed was Tanya. They had christened it the first time he brought her to visit his parents. It had been six months into their relationship, just as the honeymoon period was starting to wane. She had successfully seduced him on this very mattress, it had been fast, illicit and primal, but it was the first and last time he had sex under his parents roof.

Thinking about the bed had brought Tanya to the forefront of his mind, not for the first time that week. Every time he thought about her leaving, a pain resonated in his heart and ripped through his chest. It had taken him awhile, but Edward realised that the pain came from the fact she had left him, not from the fact he was still in love with her. There were no pangs of longing whenever he thought of her, and he didn't feel the need to think about what she was doing at any moment of the day. Instead he had those feelings about someone else.

Bella.

Ever since Bella had walked...well toppled. Backwards. Into his life, his brain hadn't been able to think straight. It had been thrown in every direction of thoughts. From curiosity to wonderment to downright lustful thoughts that wouldn't look out of place in a porno. The girl, woman, had literally turned his world on its head. Most of this time was spent wondering why they hadn't officially progressed beyond friends with the exceptions of holding her hand occasionally as they walked around the city or sat on his sofa while watching a movie. The rest of it was spent thinking about what the hell he was doing thinking about getting involved with another woman so soon after he had been left by his ex.

Bella was unlike any other woman he had ever met. Her chocolate brown eyes had him hooked from the first moment he came face to face with her. The fact that her bottom lip was a little plumper than her top made her lips that much more kissable. Perfect in her imperfections. Her sarcastic and witty sense of humour caught him off guard more often than not. It had the ability to have him in stitches of laughter out of nowhere.

They had played Edward's Nintendo Wii on one occasion when she had been at his apartment for dinner. She had continued playing while he took a business call. He came back into the room to find Bella telling some bad character on the screen that he was a 'bad, bad man and should be ashamed of himself.' He had watched as she stared at him like a rabbit in the headlights after he called her on it. Bella had simply shrugged her shoulders and told him she had developed Wii Turrets, a condition with symptoms of talking to yourself or the TV and swearing like a sailor. Apparently there was no cure as of yet.

As he lay there on his comforter, Edward thought of bringing Bella to Chicago, to meet his parents. He would show her his childhood city, his old school and the places he liked to hangout or just be alone. He wanted to show her his trophies from sporting achievements and to take her here, on this bed.

First, he needed to get his head around what he wanted from Bella beyond friendship, find a way to cushion his heart against pain, and make sure he wouldn't hurt her either.

"Edward! Dinner is ready." His mom called up to the first floor.

He rolled off his double bed and made his way into the open plan kitchen and dining room where Esme was lowering the last dish of dinner onto the table with three place settings.

"Mom, can I have the bed in my room replaced. The frame, mattress and sheets. Maybe get a bigger size?"

Esme glanced up at Edward, perplexed. "No problem. Why would..." Their conversation was interrupted as headlights bounced around the interior of the house. "That will be your dad."

* * *

**Saturday 5 December**

The pacing was starting to get on Bella's nerves.

"Alice, sit down before I superglue you to the chair." She muttered as she slugged back her fifth glass of water that hour.

"Bella's right. Sit down and calm down." Jasper tried to reason with his agitated wife.

Alice, Jasper and Cassie had finally moved into their house four days previous. Hard to believe it had been two weeks since the implantation procedure. In that time, Jasper had finalized the sale of his business and was finally able to move out to New York to be with his family, bringing the furniture with him. The movers helped with that task of course. Bella had finally finished the designs for her new line of shoes, and they were now in test manufacturing. Edward had come back from Chicago lighter but still as confusing and vague as ever. Bella tried to give it a little thought as she could and decided to run with wherever it was going until she could take no more.

"God, I need to pee. Now." Bella got up and walked towards the downstairs bathroom of the new Whitlock family, catching Alice moving out the corner of her eye. "Don't even think of following, Alice. I will never be able to pee with you listening outside the door. I will be back in a couple of minutes."

Bella picked up the box sitting on the coffee table. Time to pee on a couple of sticks and find out where the rollercoaster was taking them.

Bella came back two minutes later, looking calm. Alice was sitting in Jasper's lap; he was rubbing calming circles on her back.

"I didn't look. They have another thirty seconds or so."

Bella didn't want to be the first to look at the sticks. This was Alice and Jaspers' journey; she was just the carriage assisting them. Bella's phone beeped.

"Okay, Alice, Jasper. Time to find out if Jasper has knocked me up.

* * *

_And if all the flowers faded away  
And if all the storm clouds decided to stay  
Then you would find me, each are the same  
She is tomorrow, and I am today_

'Cause if right is leaving....I'd rather be wrong  
She is the sunlight...the sun is gone

**_Trading Yesterday's - She is the Sunshine_**

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**Dum, Dum, Dummmmmm. I actually managed a cliff hanger!**

**Thanks to Tina72899, my most wonderful Beta and bouncing post as well as lyrical genius! I have to warn that there maybe a day or two lateness in the next update as Cps 6, 7, and 8 are currently undergoing a rewrite. I will try my bloody hardest to get them up on time though.**

**I would like to rec a most wonderful fic that you should check out: Once Bitten, Twice Shy by Jessicai67. Different and completely original. I am addicted!!!**

**A/N: Whats a situation of when minutes felt like hours for you?**


	6. Out of the Blue

**Hi everyone. Can i just say WOW!! I have been overwhelmed by the kind words and the reviews that everyone has put in and all the alerts too!! Glad to see so many people are following this! I will be honest and say i have hit a bit of a mental book, rewriting one chapter 3 times, but your reviews are reassuring and helpful!  
**

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**Chapter 6 – Out of the Blue**

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Bella watched as Alice held the sticks in her hand, trying not to think about how she had just peed on them and now they were in Alice's ungloved hand. Her phone dinged showing that the allotted time was up.

Alice slowly held up the tests, side by side.

"There is no plus sign." Alice exclaimed.

"Oh Alice, I am so sorry. We can try again if you want."

"No, it doesn't come with a plus or minus sign. It comes with words. Pregnant!" Alice explained, waving the sticks at Bella.

"Huh?" Bella was confused.

"The window says pregnant. We're pregnant, Bella."

Alice handed off the sticks to Bella before throwing her arms around Jasper.

Bella looked down and sure enough in blue, bold letters was the word 'PREGNANT'. "Wow, pregnancy tests for dummies."

Bella stood up and made her way over to Alice and Jasper. Alice stood up with her and threw her arms around Bella, the girls jumping up and down. When they finally settled, Jasper joined the hug trying to keep the squeals to a minimum as Cassie slept upstairs.

~*-*~

Bella nodded to the doorman before she made her way up to Edward's apartment on the seventieth floor. To say she was nervous was a dramatic understatement. Edward was cooking her dinner, in his apartment. To any normal person, this wouldn't be a problem and the guest would probably be glad to have the night off from cooking. Not Bella. She had watched as Edward had even managed to botch up mac and cheese...from a box. They ate out that night. She had been running late from work as well, so she hadn't had a chance to eat beforehand just in case Edward provided a meal that was inedible. She was eating for two now. With a slightly shaky hand, Bella knocked on his door.

A few seconds later, Edward opened the door. He was still wearing his work suit, minus a tie and covered with a black and white checked apron with the works "_Show the Chef Some Lovin'_" with an orange looking sauce splattered across it. Bella had to laugh.

"Come in, I'll take your coat." He pulled her coat from her shoulders, running his fingertips as a track, trailing behind the fabric. He had to swallow back as he felt the elastic straps of her bra.

Bella entered cautiously, sniffing the air for any tell tale signs of burning or decay. She found neither. "No fire department visit yet then?"

"The night is young."

Bella laughed. Edward felt his tense body relax at the tinkling sound.

"Hello, Bella." A female voice sounded through the apartment though sounding rather tinny.

Bella spun her heel looking wildly about the apartment. Edward hadn't mentioned additional guests. Her heart sank at the thought of a third or fourth party joining them but she quickly quashed them. She had no reason to be disappointed, they were friends. **Friends**.

"Over here."

The woman's voice sounded again. She looked over at Edward in confusion and frustration. Edward was shaking in silent laughter.

"Come on."

He picked her hand up from her side and tugged her in the direction of his open plan kitchen. It looked like a disaster zone. There was a saucepan with the same reddish, orange sauce in it, but it was burnt to the pan in places. A frying pan and cheese grater was also amongst the debris. Edward pulled her in front of him and turned them until they were looking at his laptop. His arms crossed around her shoulders, her back flush against his chest. Bella sighed at the realisation that she could feel the rise and fall of his abdominal muscles as he breathed in an out against her. There was an older looking woman, well older than Bella was. She was beautiful. Edward rested his chin on her shoulder, and she had to quell the building tingles as she felt his breath by her ear.

"Bella, this is my mother, Esme." He gestured at the screen. "Mom, this Bella."

"So this is Bella. Finally, I get to meet you."

Bella felt the blush building in her face. She moved, trying to hide, but instead his arms tightened, pulling herself further into Edward's chest. She could feel him take a deep breath and rub small circles of reassurance onto the top of her shoulders.

"Oh, she is as beautiful as you described."

Bella buried her head into his shoulder, seeking shelter from the obvious blush of embarrassment that was spreading up her cheeks.

Edward moved away quickly and moved towards the laptop to close the screen. Bella immediately missed the contact but mentally slapped herself for the feeling. "Right, bye mom. Will see you at Christmas."

"Don't forget, Edward, 350 degrees and take it out when the sauce is bubbling and the cheese has started to go brown on top. Brown, not black. Bye, Bella."

The screen showed that Esme had hung up and silence filled the air.

Edward cleared his throat. "So that was..."

"Did you know that all the two hundred millions starlings in North America are descendant of sixty starlings that were brought over from Europe and released in Central Park?"

Bella turned and looked at Edward's extremely confused face. "Huh?"

"Sorry, I use useless information when there is tension or awkward silences.. I don't like tension. They're not just for tension. In fact I pretty much use random facts for any occasion."

"Good to know. Now did you want to talk about that?" He motioned at the laptop. Bella shook her head with a smile that didn't reach her eyes and started to walk towards the living room. "So what are your plans for Christmas?"

Bella let out a sigh of relief that he wasn't going to push the issue of his mom or why he was talking to his mom about her. "Well Joanna is flying in tomorrow. Alice, Jasper and Cassie spent Thanksgiving at his family's house in Austin so they are staying here. It makes more sense to come out to New York than for all of us to fly there. What about you?"

Edward was momentarily distracted by the sparkle in her eyes as she talked about Cassie. There would never be any doubt about how much Bella loved her niece.

"I will be at my parents in Chicago. Emmett and Rosalie are flying in today so it will be all family together." He flashed Bella a nervous smile. "Don't get me wrong, I love Rosalie, she makes my brother very happy. But…she's hard work sometimes. Her personality is…prickerly? I don't want to put you off before you meet her. She is nice, you just have to get underneath her shell to find all things nice that come with her sugar and spice."

Bella laughed. It was to mask the fact her heart was beating twenty to the dozen. It was not the first Edward had mentioned her meeting his family. She had briefly met Emmett as he rushed out of the door of Edward's apartment. To say Emmett and Edward were physically two different kettles of fish was an understatement. Edward was tall, a slight build with discrete muscles and a discrete personality. Emmett was huge, as in massive. Muscles didn't describe Emmett's physique. If he hadn't been coming out of Edward's apartment, Bella would have felt intimidated. As it was, the dimple-laden smile he had flashed her had softened her nerve and was looking forward to meeting him again.

"So when is Joanna flying in?" Edward asked, drawing Bella back to reality.

"Joanna is getting in on Christmas Eve and staying until the day after New Years Day. She is going to watch Cassie while we go to a party on New Year's Eve that one of Jasper's clients is throwing. Apart from that, we are just looking forward to a quiet holiday time. The last few weeks have just been full on."

"So I won't get to meet the infamous Joanna?"

"Nope."

They both frowned at the clash of timings. Edward had a prior year-on-year arrangement that he attended a fundraising ball that his father's hospital hosted every New Year. He had asked Bella if she wanted to join him, but she had declined. It would have meant missing out on precious time with her step-mother. Also, to Bella, going to the ball with Edward and his family would signify a change in their relationship that she wasn't sure she was ready to acknowledge yet.

The pause hung heavy in the air and Bella started to wander away from him.

"Um...Samuel L. Jackson insisted on being the only person in the Star Wars films to use a purple light sabre. It was the only way he would accept the part of Mace Windu."

"What?" Bella asked, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"Random fact to diffuse tension."

"That wasn't tension, Edward. That was...," she waved her hands dismissively in the air. "a pregnant pause."

Edward chuckled to himself as he opened the now pre-heated oven and slid in the lasagna. Having Bella in his apartment, just wondering around freely was a liberating thought. She seemed to feel comfortable there, no longer a guest but not a resident. He hoped it would mean that she would be open to coming to his apartment more often. His head screamed at him for his stupidity but his heart, God, his heart startled awake as the first shocks of life flowed through his heart in three months.

Bella was wandering over by his piano, running her fingers over the black lacquered wood. Edward shivered at the action, a shiver not from the cold. He loved his piano. In fact he loved his piano so much that he wish he was it, that he was the one under the touch of Bella's fingertips. It sat on a raised level beside the floor to ceiling windows that dominated the open-plan room, which brought the New York skyline in. Edward did a quick inventory of the music on the piano in his head and realised there was no incriminating evidence to his burgeoning feelings for Bella. That was safely tucked away in the recesses of his mind.

"You write?" She motioned to the untidy, scattered papers all over the top. He nodded. "The mess shows frustration. Are you struggling with something?"

Edward was taken back at her observation. "I have music in my head. It is playing on a loop and changing constantly. The pieces are disjointed and I just can't seem to get them onto paper in a order that makes sense or sounds right to me."

"Who says that the order of music has to make sense? As long as it is what you want, just get it down. If not then it will come with time."

Edward contemplated her words while handing her a glass of chilled Sauvignon Blanc wine. He had been struggling for over a week with the rather simple tune that was the soundtrack of his mind. Maybe Bella was right, time to forget about it and let it come when it's ready.

xxxx

Dinner had been an easy affair. Conversation flowed seamlessly, not repeats of the awkward pauses from earlier. The lasagna had been fantastic and when toasting the chef, Bella raised her still full glass and toasted to Esme. She felt obliged to take a sip as Edward watched her closely.

Edward cleared the plates to the dishwasher as Bella made her way to the sofas. Her glass 'slipped' from her hand slightly and half the wine ended up in the plant pot of a Swiss Cheese plant before she righted it again with a smug smile to her face.

They sat there watching a football game that Edward had recorded onto his TIVO. Edward tried, unsuccessfully, to explain the rules and plays to Bella. It was all nonsense to her and she wondered, out loud, several times why it was called football when they used their hands the majority of the time. By the time the final whistle blew, the Chicago Bears had beaten the Washington Redskins and Bella was asleep. Her head was burrowed into the hollow of his shoulder as her warm breath blew through his shirt, dancing across his skin.

"Bella?" He gently shook. "Bella!" He raised his voice and she stirred, burrowing further into him. Edward took a deep breath to compose himself and thought of granny pants. "Bella, it's late."

Bella finally opened her eyes and sleepily gazed at Edward, a blush spreading up her face as she realised their position. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to fall asleep. I've been so tired this week and you are so comfy.

Edward chortled softly at Bella's lack of filter. It was enlightening. "It's okay, I really didn't mind at all. Did you mean comfy as in nice-comfy or comfy as in 'I should be back in the gym' comfy?"

"Nice, I meant nice" Bella sleepily stuttered, causing Edwards chest to rumble from a chuckle."

"It's really late though. I don't think I am comfortable with you driving home this late or this tired." Edward swept a stray curl back behind her ear.

"I'll be okay." It wasn't as convincing with the giant yawn Bella let loose.

"That's it, you are staying. It is the weekend tomorrow and you can lie in before driving back home. I'll take the couch, you take my bed. The guest room isn't decorated yet."

"I am not stealing your bed Edward. I'll take the couch and you take your bed."

Edward let out a sigh of exasperation. They were both standing staring at each other, hands on hips and mirror image pouts. "I am not having you sleep on the couch, my mother would kill me for that. Look, Bella, We are adults and I am sure we can share a bed without any awkwardness. I even have PJ's you can borrow if you want."

Bella bit her lower lip, staring at Edward to check he was sure. There was no doubt in her mind she was sure about sharing a bed with him. Even to be near him was enough for Bella as long as she put her doubts of self-control to the back of her mind. "Okay."

Edward nodded in confirmation and took Bella's hand, leading her to the back of his apartment. She hoovered tentatively at the entrance to his bedroom. It was like entering unknown territory. Like this was the step that would decide her future. What was it they said? The hardest step in an thousand miles is the first one. She took a deep breath and stepped forward. Edward let her go and walked over to a chest of drawers, pulling out a pair of blue plaid patterned PJ bottoms and a black t-shirt with the number 2 and CULLEN written on the back.

"I'll just go into the bathroom, feel free to get ready here or the main bathroom is across the hall."

Bella watched his retreating back in silence and, once the click of the lock was in place, began to strip out of her clothes. They were folded and left neatly on a small rocking chair that was in a corner of his room. The PJ's smelt of fresh laundry detergent. They had been worn and washed recently. The thought sent a thrill through her. Once finished, Bella sat on the edge of his bed. She felt like a virgin on prom night. Not that she was sleeping with him in that way, she admonished herself. It was more the feeling of unease and uncertainty of what to do next.

A small shuffling noise to her right caught her attention. Edward was leaning against the doorframe staring at her. She caught a momentary flash of his eyes, dark and intense, before he blinked and his emerald peepers were back. Pushing his body away from the doorframe, Edward made his way over and wordlessly pulled back the comforter. Bella climbed in and turned on her side, her back to Edward's side of the bed. So much for not feeling awkward.

"Night, Edward." Bella muttered before relaxing into the cotton sheets and shutting her eyes.

It was so quiet she thought she had misheard; a sigh from Edward that seemed full of confusion and rejection. "Night, Bella."

xxxx

_Why is it so hot?_

Bella shifted around as she tried to relieve the oppressing heat that was on the front of her body. A stifled groan and mumbling made her halt abruptly and open her eyes. She wasn't in her room, her room had pale green walls; whereas these were a milky coffee colour. Then it came back to her. Dinner. Edward. Sharing his bed. She tried to move away from the heat source, but instead she felt her body being clamped tightly to it. Sometime in the middle of the night Edward and Bella had gravitated towards each other. Legs intertwined, it was difficult to tell where Edward ended and Bella started. Her head and right side was over Edward's chest as he lay on his back. One arm of his was under her body and around her waist, his hand caressing her hip. The other was on top of her and over her back as his fingers unconsciously rubbing patterns into her skin. His chin sat on the top of her head, his warm breath fanning across her hair, sending tingles through her body. Bella lay still, taking in the feel of his body under hers, closing her eyes in a blissful satisfaction she didn't know she had been missing.

The blissful satisfaction was short lived, very short lived, as a familiar rolling feeling crept into stomach. This time the rolling didn't stop, it grew. Her mouth watered and Bella knew what was coming next. She wrenched herself from her Edward-Prison and bolted for where he said the bathroom was. It took all her concentration to flip up the toilet seat before what was left in her stomach came back up at full force.

Dry wrenching continued but she felt her long hair being pulled back from her face and neck and a strong hand rub comforting rounds on her back. The breeze from her hair being pulled back instantly felt better, and the convulsions of her stomach finally slowed and stopped completely.

Bella pulled herself away from the toilet and sat with her back to the bath, taking pleasure from the cool metal. Edward let her hair go and ran her a glass of water.

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have seen that."

Edward joined her on the floor and drew her to his side. "It doesn't matter. Are you okay?"

"Yah, I think it's stopped. This is great, thanks." She motioned to the glass of water.

"Do you think it was dinner?" Edward looked so torn.

"No!" She exclaimed and then calmed her face. "It definitely wasn't dinner. Dinner was amazing. If it was dinner I would have been sicker hours ago and you would be too. I'm not sure what this is, but it wasn't dinner." She lied as Edward faced a cool hand across her forehead. Bella almost purred as she leaned into it. "I'm sure I'll..."

Bella never finished her sentence as she reacquainted herself with the toilet bowl.

_And so it began...Morning sickness_

**December 23, 2009 – 4.5 weeks**

Bella huffed her way through the front door. She hated Christmas shopping, especially on Christmas Eve. Work had been beyond hectic for the last two weeks and Bella was thankful she was now off for ten days. Morning sickness had kicked in full throttle two weeks previous and Bella felt like she had spent more time bent over the toilet bowl than she did standing straight up. Morning sickness with Cassie had been brief and true to its name; only in the morning when she woke. This time it was morning-noon-and-night sickness. Between them, Alice, Bella and Joanna, they had tried everything. Saltine crackers, rice cakes, flat lemonade and ginger ale. Nothing was making a bit of difference. Her doctor was concerned about it but not overly worried which reassured Bella to no end.

The hardest thing was keeping it from Edward. It wasn't as if she was purposely trying to keep it from Edward, but it had never seemed like the right time. They were still exploring the start of their friendship and the last thing she wanted to see was the dust trail as Edward headed for the hills in shock. Bella was pretty sure that he wouldn't but at the moment she didn't want to risk it. So far she had managed to pass off the morning sickness as that of a winter sickness bug that was doing the rounds in the city. There had been one long hug that turned awkward. Edward had pulled her to him too hard as he had been distracted. She had pulled away sharply because as Edward pulled her in, her breasts were pushed up against his chest too hard and hurt her in their increased tenderness.

Bella had never seen someone jump away from her so quickly. The look of confusion and absolute guilt at hurting her that crossed his face cut her to the bone. She knew with a few simple sentences of explanation she would be able to soothe him but she wasn't ready to take that risk yet. It was also painfully obviously that Edward was still dealing with the demise of his previous relationship. No more had been said since the conversation about his ex-girlfriend's father being his client. Bella hadn't wanted to push him but the confusion of where they stood was starting to take an exhaustive toll on her.

Bella glanced at the clock as she dumped her shopping bags unceremoniously on the sofa. It was already eight in the evening and Edward was due in half an hour. She needed a shower, but exhaustion was clawing at her. All she wanted to do was change from her work clothes into something more comfortable and ideally made of stretchy cotton. Bella knew that in the coming weeks, as she got bigger, sweats would become her best friend. Though she knew she wouldn't be able to avoid a shopping trip or twenty with Alice. Bella shuddered at the memory of one torturous shopping session with Alice while they were shopping for maternity bras when she was pregnant with Cassie. Bella was not in a hurry to go again. The thought of Alice made her smile. It was good having her family all together for Christmas. Joanna would be flying in to join Alice and Jasper in their new home now that Alice had deemed it fit for visitors. Christmas with Cassie was always fun, but Bella was just praying that she would manage to keep the morning sickness to a minimum come Christmas Day. She wanted to be able to keep Jasper's Christmas dinner down long enough to enjoy it.

The ringing of her doorbell filled the house. Her breath hitched as she realised that she had been standing in her living room for a full ten minutes and had done nothing with her appearance. She opened the door to reveal her auburn haired Adonis in all his crumpled glory.

"Sorry I am early. I finished and thought I would come straight from work." Edward threw her one of his panty-dropping half smiles. She hated to think what he could do with a full one of those. It would be a global panty dropping of pandemic proportions.

She stood there for a few seconds, dazzled. Something that was becoming an increasing occurrence around Edward. "Come in, sorry. I'm just in myself." She motioned him through to the living room and picked up the bags from the sofa. "I am just going to freshen up." Make yourself comfy and I'll be back in a minute."

Bella dove into the shower and tried to calm her racing feelings as the spray washed through her hair to rid of the days grime. Even in his crumpled suit he still looked like a wet dream. Her stretchy yoga pants were heaven sent and Bella was reassured that Edward had seen her in them before so. They were friends so no need to get all dressed up.

She found him stretched out on the sofa, his tie off and the top three buttons of his shirt undone. He was the picture of perfect to her. She was going to have to do something soon to qualify their relationship or whatever this was that was going on between them. It was going to have to be tonight because she wasn't sure just how long she could keep her hands off the man in front of her.

"So...um...I'll start something for dinner. Anything you would like?"

There was a stirring of movement to her side before arms wrapped around her waist from behind. Bella stiffened, the over friendliness catching her off guard, but then relaxed into his touch. It was coming home, it was what she didn't know she had been missing all day.

Bella let out a sigh as Edward nuzzled at her neck, his five o' clock shadow grazing her skin. "Let's just order take out?" He murmured in her ear, voice heavy and husky.

_This is new, where did it come from? _Edward continued to run his jaw up and down her neck. _So friendly Edward has decided to take a flight and flirty Edward has landed. This I could get used to._

"Okay. I'll order. Why don't you take a shower too? There are some of Jasper's clothes in the spare room in the chest of drawers. You can even use my bodywash."

Edward placed a closed mouth kiss on her neck before moving away, running his hands down her arms. She grabbed the counter for support as her heart raced in her chest and the sound of her own pulse echoed in her ears.

_What the...? Did I miss something here? _The adrenaline from the unease from Edward's arms around her was starting to leave her and the tiredness was setting in again. She heard the shower turn off in the bathroom and she reached for the phone, ordering an anchovies, chicken and pepperoni pizza. If Edward didn't suspect she was pregnant, he might after the pizza arrived.

The smell of her strawberry body wash floated toward her as she took Edward's hand and led him to the couch. Reaching out to under her Christmas tree she pulled out Edward's present. A large square, yet fairly flat object covered in red 'Forever Friends' wrapping paper.

Edward turned it over in his hands before ripping the paper from it like a child. The paper gave way to a slightly bigger than average book covered in very dark blue leather with gold cursive writing, spelling the word 'Music'. Edward's artistic fingers traced the scripted words while he tried to form words, his mouth opening and closing several times.

"Oh, Bella. This is too much." He had opened the hardback cover to reveal yellow-edged pages with lines, staff lines. He ran his fingertips over the pages, feeling their slightly coarser grain tickle over the pads.

"My boss took me to auction at Sotheby's last week. One of his fits of fancy to get out of the office on a Friday afternoon. I saw this in the listings, its mid-eighteenth century. I remember seeing all the messy music all over your piano and thought it would be good for you to have somewhere to put it all in the future. You look like you have been playing a lot more recently."

"I have, I've been...inspired more. Well inspired to write something different to the depressing rubbish I had been composing before."

He placed the book down in his lap. For a moment, time stopped, life stopped, Edward even stopped breathing. Edward took in Bella's face for the first time that night. Behind her pale palour and dark circled eyes, both of which worried Edward, was a glow. Not her usual cherub blush but a glow that seemed to emanate from somewhere deep inside. Edward reached up and cupped his hand to her cheek. She smiled uncertainly but leaned in, in a show of good faith. His thumb caressed the apple of her cheek. Her smiled firmed up and she placed a hand over his, holding his hand in place; revelling in the heat from his palm. After what felt like hours, Edward cleared his throat and dropped their hands. He reached over the edge of the sofa and pulled out a small, professionally wrapped box.

"It's something small. I hope you like it. I didn't wrap it, Alice offered."

Bella squashed the smile at Edward's ease with her family and pulled at the silver bow. Inside was a black gift box. Lifting off the lid, revealing a small clear heart that cast rainbows in the artificial light offered by the living room lights.

"It has a slip ring on it so you can attach it to your charm bracelet." He mentioned to her wrist where her charm bracelet was a constant resident. "It was my grandmother's and came to me as part of my inheritance."

"Is it...Is it a diamond?"

Edward nodded and watched as the colour left Bella's face. "Don't worry, it's insured and she would have wanted you to have it. She told me to give it to someone deserving of it."

"And you think I am deserving of it?"

"I've told you before; you are important in my life, so very important."

Bella let him take her bracelet from her wrist and attach the charm. It rested perfectly alongside a butterfly, a pair of ballet slippers and a gecko.

After he reattached her bracelet, his fingers drifting softly down her wrist and hand causing goose bumps that had nothing to do with being cold to erupt on her arm. Edward kindly ate her bizarre pizza choice without question, telling her to take the couch while he cleaned up.

Bella surfed through the movie channels on her cable package and settled on '_Scrooged' _with Bill Murray. She loved this film at Christmas. Edward settled himself behind her, handing her a cooling cup of chamomile tea she had asked for in a vain attempt at keeping the pizza in her stomach for longer than twenty minutes. Bella snuggled herself in between his legs, her back firmly held against Edward's chest, his arm around her waist as his fingers ran up her arm. Gradually the exhaustion from earlier in the day, coupled with the soothing circles that Edward was writing on her forearm, Bella allowed sleep to claim her.

The slumbering couple, tightly wrapped up in each other were woken by the shrill ring of a cell phone close to the floor beside the sofa.

_Frankenstein and Dracula have nothing on you  
Jekyll and Hyde join the back of the queue  
The female of the species is more deadly than the male_

Edward groaned. "Rosalie. Sorry hun, I have to take this."

Bella extracted herself from Edward. "Come find me when you are done."

She pulled herself from the couch. Edward held her elbow until she was steady on her feet. As she walked away, his hand caught hers loosely, squeezing it, before dropping his hand into his lap. Bella looked back and sleepily smiled. A smile Edward had grown oh so attached to.

It wouldn't be the first time that Edward had stayed the night. Nothing serious had happened between them. . Edward said that he seemed to sleep better these days when he stayed with her, and Bella wasn't complaining at waking up to his warm, luscious body spooning hers. Things between them had shifted. Shifted in a direction and he wasn't sure where it was going. It wasn't as if they hadn't shared a bed before, pyjamas fully in place. But now their friendship teetering on the edge of romance. The stakes were high though. Hearts were on the line and that line was thinning by the minute.

~*-*~

Bella must have drifted off again before she felt the bed dip beside her and Edward swept a curl that had fallen over her face.

"Bella, wake up hun."

Bella came around, sleep grogging her senses. One look at Edward's face and Bella was wide awake. His forehead was furrowed; a sign she knew meant he was stressed. The storm that she had seen in his eyes when she first met him had dissipated over the months she had known him. Now it was back in full force, raging white peaks of storm whipped water. She reached to cup his cheek in her hand, her thumb wiped at freshly shed tears, his gaze slowly coming back to her.

"Edward, what is it? What is wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Rosalie called to let me know some news, news about my ex-girlfriend."

The shock to her system was as if someone had poured ice water over the emotions she had been basking in from being cuddled up on the sofa, extinguishing their warmth. "What's happened, Edward? You have to talk to me."

"My ex-girlfriend, Tanya, will be announcing her engagement to an ex-friend of mine, James Dupont, in tomorrow's New York Times."

Bella slinked away from Edward as if she had been stung, crawling to the other side of the bed, but Edward only moved closer, not sure if why she had moved. Their roles were now reversed. Something had upset Bella and she was pulling away from him. He needed her, needed her close. She was his only anchor now.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

Bella appeared to shake her head and then turned back to him, her face a blank expression, her emotions firmly hidden away again. "Do you want to talk about it, Edward?"

"I'm not sure where to start. Tanya and I split up, just before I met you, as you know." Edward missed Bella's grimace as he continued talking away in his own daze. "I found something that forced her to come clean." Edward realised he wasn't making much sense, he knew, but his words were all tumbling to come out. "I thought she had just been busy with work. The banks were failing and the panic meant that Tanya was pretty much out of her mind busy. I couldn't have been more wrong. She had been seeing someone else, behind me back."

Bella sat up and unconsciously leaned in towards him. "Tanya had been cheating on you?"

Edward nodded his head. "For four months. Four months!" Edward tugged at his hair. That's a third of the time we had been together. James was the guy she cheated on me with." Edward chuckled darkly. "This really isn't a good conversation to be having right now, not before we are about to be apart for eight days." Edward muttered, tiredness creeping into his voice as he got under the covers and pulled Bella to him.

"It's okay, Edward. We'll talk about it whenever you are ready. Right now can we just sleep?"

_Maybe tonight wouldn't be the night that she would get her clarification after all. _

_

* * *

_

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you

**_Lifehouse – Broken_**

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**God, don't you just wanna hate Tanya, please don't. We only get one side of the story here remember. Just like Alice's visions are subjective, so are a person's point of view.**

**Thanks go out to Tina72899 who is my most awesome beta. Seriously, you would be reading a pile of drivel without her!**

**Those who give me the name of the song and band who the artists of Edward's ringtone for Rosalie get an extra long sneaky peak - gotta love the review bribery.**

**Lastly: I am on the look out for funny pregnancy stories. Thanks you Mommyof3boys who got the ball rolling with her tale. Its bad to laugh at other peoples misfortune but it was fuuuuny.**


	7. Slowly Does It

**Finally the writers block is over and am writing full steam ahead now! Thanks go out to Tine 72899 who is my most wonderful beta. Also thank you so much for all the review, PMs and hilarious pregnancy stories - please keep then coming!!!**

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Chapter 7 – Slowly Does It

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**Friday, December 25 2009 – Christmas Day**

"Auntie B, Auntie B. It's Christmas Day and I have presents. Santa came!"

Bella tried to fight the wave of nausea that overtook her as Cassie bounced up and down on her bed beside her. Bella tried to follow her niece's movements, but the battle with the nausea was lost and Bella bolted out of bed and into Alice's en-suite bathroom. Alice came running in behind her at Cassie's shouts that 'Auntie B is hungover.'

"You just had to go and christen the new bathroom." Alice joked as she pulled Bella's hair back and held it in a ponytail.

It had been a tough few days for Bella. Edward had flown to Chicago to join his parents, brother and sister-in-law for Christmas and New Year's. Waking up had been awkward. Edward had been quiet and withdrawn. Bella had cooked breakfast but he had hardly eaten any. Bella had tried too, but the first bite of the chocolate chip pancake had her threatening to heave. She had tried to coax a response from Edward on how he was feeling about the upcoming announcement that Tanya and James were to be married. Instead she was met by mumbled 'I don't know's' and half felt shrugs.

She wasn't used to this withdrawn Edward. He wouldn't talk to her, trying to distract her with questions about her New Year's plans and what she wanted for Christmas. He left an hour later with a half assed hug, and a bad attempt at his crooked grin that would normally garner a smile from her or at best a change in panties.. He had promised to call her over Christmas but Bella was doubtful. He needed time to work through his issues and Bella would try and give him that time.

Things in her life were at a stage where she didn't feel her actions were her own. Her thoughts were on Edward and how he was coping with his ex-girlfriend's announcement that had come out the day before. Half of her wanted to shake him, make him realise that he couldn't let Tanya ruin him and his opinion on women. That was Bella, his friend. The other half of her wanted to go to his parents' cabin and hold him close. To show him she was here and willing to help fix him. That half of her was Bella, a friend who wanted to be so much more. There was no denying where her feelings were headed. She was falling for him and falling hard.

Alice and Jasper now had their hopes pinned on her. Bella knew that Jasper and Alice had the means to try again, but she also knew how much a failed attempt would hurt them all. The fallout would be greater now that the pregnancy was obviously a 'go for launch'. . Alice was already picking names, convinced she knew it was a boy. She had more weight on her shoulders than Atlas; her life was slowly slipping away from her.

Partly, she was glad that she went through the surrogacy alone last time. Keeping it from Edward was hard enough and he was just a friend. A friend who had apparently taken to nuzzling her neck and cuddling with her. The change in Edward from the sofa and the Edward that came to her after he found out about Tanya and James' engagement were like Jekyll and Hyde. His mood swings were really keeping her busy in trying to keep up with them. Bella had tried to put it to the back of her mind, reminding herself over and over again that he was just a friend.

Bella had left for Alice's straight after Edward left her apartment. There was no way she could stay there while trying to clear her head. His scent had surrounded her, engrained in every fabric of her apartment. The mix of spice and musk that was so Edward made her heady and fogged her thoughts. Her step-mom had taken her aside and tried to ask her what was wrong. Joanna had known straight away that something was wrong. The light headedness she had been feeling wasn't helping her concentrate. Instead she waved Joanna off and went to lie down in Alice's freshly painted guestroom.

Joanna loved her girls, equally and completely. They were as different as chalk and cheese but they couldn't have been closer if they had been blood related. Alice was her little pixie, her little miracle. When Alice's father had left them when she was eight, things were tough. Joanna slumped into a mild depression. Keeping their heads above water was tough and Joanna spent many sleepless nights wondering why he would just up and leave. What had she done wrong? Why hadn't they been enough. Slowly over time Joanna began living again but not until she was ready, Alice was there, holding them up. She dealt with the neighbours when they came by offering sympathy and looking for gossip. She made Joanna coffee whenever she couldn't get out of bed and made her smile with her Barbie fashion shows.

Then she met Charles Swan. Charlie walked into her life like a breath of fresh air. She was on her way to Port Angeles after visiting friends in Forks. Her car had hit something in the road, and the next thing she knew, the car was careening off the road, her left hand, and front tire shredded. Charlie had been passing by in his patrol car and had stopped to help her change it. She had travelled out to Forks the next day, to the station, to thank him. Charlie, in a fit of boldness, asked her out to dinner. The rest was history.

After six months of dating, Charlie finally allowed her to meet Bella. He had been worried about confusing her. He claimed she was sheltered and that there hadn't been a woman in her life since Renee had left them. She had fallen in love with Bella the moment she saw her, sitting on the swing, staring at her car much like the first day she first introduced Alice to Bella. Oh how she loved the swing that Charlie had built her.

Now Bella was once again giving her daughter the greatest, most special gift she could. Joanna was worried. Alice had been a novice when Bella was pregnant with Cassie. Everything they experienced was new for Alice; she hadn't been able to form an opinion on anything. Things were made up as they went along. Alice had Cassie now. She was a mother and knew things only mothers would know. Alice also knew other mothers who had been through childbirth. Alice with information could be both helpful and annoying depending on her mood. Right now, Joanna knew that Alice was in full-on planning and managing mode. Joanna's worry was that Alice's overwhelming, and sometimes overbearing, nature would make itself known. This was an even bigger concern as Alice had mentioned a potential new love interest for Bella on the horizon. That meant a fourth opinion being added to the mix. She tried to put it out of her head as Cassie came bumbling down the stairs alone.

"Granma, Granma. Santa came with lots of presents for me. I asked for a bike, do you think he knew?"

Joanna knew that Jasper had 'intercepted' Cassie's letter to Santa and that there would indeed be a pink bicycle with pink and purple handle bar ribbons under the tree. "I am sure he did sweet pea. Now where is your mom and Auntie B?"

Cassie scrunched up her nose and twisted her mouth; a look that mirrored Bella's to a tee. It was bittersweet for Joanna to see. On one hand, to see something as simple as a facial expression remind her that Alice didn't give birth to the beautiful child standing before her. Yet, at the same time, realize that through the miracle of science, that same facial expression reminded Joanna that this beautiful child standing before her allowed Alice to be called a simple word…'Mommy'. "Auntie B was being sick. Mommy is helping."

Joanna felt for Bella. She had been throwing up the previous day also and for most of the night. It looked like morning sickness was striking early for Bella. "Oh dear."

"Is Auntie B, okay?" Cassie asked, plopping herself down on her Granma's knee. Her face was wide open in concern and fear for her Auntie B.

"She is fine. You know that mommy and daddy are wanting you to have a brother or sister?" Cassie nodded her head. "Well, part of having a brother or sister means that Auntie B will get sick for a little while." Cassie's eyes bugged out of her head in fear.

"Oh dear, I am not explaining this very well. Okay. You know how your mommy and daddy are your parents, but you are half Auntie B and half your daddy?"

"Yep, Auntie B was the oven where I grew." Cassie muttered with the innocence that only a six year old could.

"Exactly, well your new brother and sister will be the same. Bella is having a baby for your mommy and daddy, just like she did with you."

"So I made her sick too?"

"She's not sick as in ill. When a woman carries a baby, it makes her sick until her body is used to the new baby, then it stops."

"So she will be okay?"

"In a couple of weeks, she will be fine."

Cassie's face relaxed and a smile appeared again. "So Santa will still bring my bike, even if Auntie B is sick."

Joanna laughed. She was thankful that Alice and Jasper had chosen to visit his family in Texas for Thanksgiving. She loved having her family around at Christmas. Only a child could make Christmas truly complete. "Yes, Santa will still have visited. Now why don't you go and wake daddy up and we can go and see if there are gifts under the tree."

Cassie took off for the stairs again, shouting 'DADDY' at the top of her lungs. As Cassie disappeared, Alice and Bella appeared at the top landing. Bella's face looked ashen and her body tired.

"So no non-alcoholic eggnog for you then Bella Bee." Joanna chuckled.

Bella's face blanched as she made mock vomit motions. "I think we can safely say that food is off the menu for the next few hours. I don't enjoy seeing it twice."

~*-*~

Christmas morning had passed relatively uneventfully. Cassie had been allowed to open three presents in return for having a shower and getting dressed without fussing. Jasper had come down the stairs wearing tracksuit bottoms, claiming that it was the one day a year that Alice allowed him to wear what he wanted and he was taking full advantage.

The main reason that Bella loved Christmas was she got to unleash her full Betty Crocker side. Cooking for one was never exciting and her freezer was full of frozen portions from two people sized meals. That is why she was so insistent that Edward come around at least once a week for a home cooked meal. She also had plans to ship her extra frozen portions to his freezer so that he had food every day. It was a nice feeling to know she was able to take care of him too. To pay him back for the little things he did for her. The foot rubs when she was so tired that she could barely keep her eyes open. The way he hid his concern about her sickness bug but was still there to hold her hair back, no questions asked. Their relationship, in its essence was simple, and she was thankful that she was able to escape into it and free herself from the drama.

Her first session with the porcelain goddess was as she watched Jasper remove the giblets from the large roast chicken. The second time was when Jasper brought the chicken out of the oven and gave it its first basting. Instead she had relegated herself to the dining room table, coring and peeling apples for the apple pie that was to form part of dessert. Her stomach seemed to be handling the odd slice of apple she stole, but the smells emanating from the kitchen were making her nauseated again, so instead of making it third time a charm, Bella took herself off for a walk around the neighbourhood until Jasper called and told her it should be safe to come back.

At dinner, Bella looked around the table at her family and smiled. A small part of her wondered how Edward was and what he was doing. He had yet to call, not that Bella expected him to after their parting. A small part of her had hoped. Bella had barely touched Christmas dinner, pushing chicken around her plate in a lake of gravy. Luckily she had managed her vegetables, so Alice had stopped watching her so closely. Every time a chicken piece made a circuit of her plate, Alice would go to say something, only to stop, her mouth hanging open like a drunken fish. Jasper, Joanna and Cassie kept up the chatter at the table but Bella still drifted off to Edward. She had systematically checked her phone throughout the day but nothing from her green-eyed Adonis. Instead of working herself up in to a tizzy, she switched her phone off around five in the evening and put it in the drawer of her bedside cabinet.

xxxx

Exhaustion clawed at her body as she shifted around on the couch. Cassie was curled up against her side, her tiny hand on Bella's still flat stomach. Bella loved these moments with her niece. It reminded her of the times she would talk to her when Cassie was still a fetus in her swollen stomach. She would tell Cassie stories of her childhood and the adventures she would have with Alice. Alice would usually be there, a glass of wine in hand and giggling along with Bella as she told Cassie her own stories. Slowly sleep claimed her as the end titles of 'Miracle on 42nd Street' rolled on. Bella had looked over at Jasper and Alice, curled up in the sofa, hands clasped, and she felt a sharp pang: She missed Edward so very much. Sometimes Bella hated Christmas and its Happily Ever After's.

~*-*~

**January 3, 2010 – 5 Weeks**

Bella never thought she would be looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, but she was. Back to the normality and peace, that came with routine. New Year's had been a complete buzz kill and Bella was just glad it was over and she was back in her own space. The original plan of Bella joining Alice and Jasper at a client's fancy New Year's party had been abandoned. Instead, Bella stayed behind to look after Cassie, and Joanna had gone in her place. Bella was tired, irritated and could not stop throwing up. It was starting to annoy her. Her irritability wasn't being helped by the fact that she kept getting reminder text messages from Alice about taking her neo-natal vitamins every day. Bella could be forgetful but she wasn't stupid. Alice had also booked her first scan without asking Bella her schedule or when she would like it. In a way, Bella was glad someone was taking charge of things for her. It freed up space in her overcrowded brain and she was too exhausted to be thinking about appointments and scans. Bella just wished Alice would realize when she was crossing that imaginary line of enough is enough. They needed to find a middle ground.

Edward had called her on Christmas Day, at around nine in the evening when she was fast sleep. He had left a garbled message about being sorry that he hadn't been in contact, but his parents cabin had sketchy reception and the snow had downed the telephone lines on Christmas Eve. She had tried to call him back and had left messages for him but got no word from him until New Year's Eve. Finally she had managed to talk to him. He told her about his family's going's on and that his mom said 'hi', promising a face to face meeting soon. Both Emmett and Rosalie seemed depressed but neither of them would talk about it. Bella happily listened as Edward prattled on about his Christmas, glad that he was back to her friendly, open Edward. She felt guilty at being elated with Edward being back to the Edward she was attracted to, especially when she was keeping a huge secret from him herself. They had promised to meet up again once he was back in town tonight, but his flight had been delayed by bad weather out of O'Hara and he didn't know when he would get in. Instead, Bella resigned herself to the sofa where she had just enough energy and thought process left to put in '_Ever After_' for background noise.

Bella was pulled out of her exhausted musing by a knock at her front door. It was late, past eleven, and she wasn't expecting anyone. She pulled open the door, reminding herself she really should have a peephole fitted in her door. In front of her stood a tired looking Edward, a suitcase clutched in one hand.

"Edward? What are you doing here?"

"I came straight from the airport. I wanted to see you. I've missed you so much."

Bella took his hand and led him to the couch as he dropped his suitcase by the door. Edward sank himself into the couch, slouching his body for comfort. Bella sat across from him, cross-legged, staring in wonder that Edward was sitting across from her.

"Are you okay? I mean you look kind of out of it." Bella muttered, clearing an errant strand of hair from his forehead.

Edward seemed to laugh but Bella couldn't tell if it was a laugh or a sob. "It's been a hard holiday. Emmett and Rosalie are at each other's throats and it's been...hard."

"What was hard?" Edward was starting to worry her. "Your first holiday season after Tanya? It was bound to be hard, Edward." Bella couldn't help it when the weight in her stomach sank a little further. Then again that could have been the morning sickness that never stopped.

"No, it was nothing to do with Tanya. It was hard being away from you." He watched Bella's reaction carefully. Her mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water. It was her usual reaction to shock he had noticed. "I thought about you every second I was away. I couldn't even think about hugging or kissing anyone on New Year's Eve. All I could think about was what you were doing, or who did you give your New Year's kiss to."

"No one, Edward. I didn't even go out. I stayed at Alice's and babysat Cassie."

"Do you mean to tell me that you wasted your New Year's kiss on a six year old?"

And there it is. That blush that Edward had grown to love, slowly, but surely creeping up the sides of Bella's face. A slight chuckle escaped her lips that he suddenly found himself enamoured with.

"A kiss goodnight, on the forehead, as I tucked her in for the night. As for midnight, it was more like nine in the evening. So I'm afraid I had no New Year's kiss to be wasted."

"Sooo…" Edward trailed off.

"Sooo…" Bella mimicked, as Edward inched closer to her on the sofa.

"I didn't kiss anyone. And you didn't kiss anyone. That's no way to bring in a new year, Isabella. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Mm-hmm," was the only reply Bella could find to utter breathlessly.

"I think we should rectify this situation," Edward whispered, as he licked his lips in anticipation.

Bella slowly sat up from her position. Edward moved to meet her, his eyes searching her face for hesitation but finding none. His eyes finally landed on her lips. The tip of Bella's tongue slipped out of her mouth and pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth. Edward's breath hitched, desire running through his body, heading south. His thumb brushed against her soft, moist lip and pulled it free. Time seemed to pass in minutes rather than the seconds it took for Edward to move forward. He still needed to know that this wasn't all him, that Bella was with him too, ready to fall with him. Bella closed the gap, her lips meeting his. Embers flared on contact. The kiss was slow at first, feeling their way with caution and delight. Bella's hands snaked up Edward's forearms, drawing her body closer to his, nearly falling into his lap. His hands found their way around her hips, exploring her lower back. The sparks she had felt from his previous touches came back to her and intensified tenfold. She moaned into the kiss, her hands finding their way into his hair, tugging harshly, deepening the kiss.

Edward slowly pulled away, his brain screaming for oxygen, but his body screaming for more of Bella. They sat forehead to forehead, so very close, staring at each other, feeling the electric hum still burning between them. Eyes were dark with lust and chests heaving.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that," Bella whispered as she filled her desperate lungs with air.

"Not as long as I have."

Edward pulled her fully into his lap and burrowed his nose in her hair. Her scent had been driving him insane for weeks. There was a smell that was completely Bella but there was also a smell mixed in that he couldn't put his finger on. He would have to raid her shower and find it, then get himself a bottle.

'Edward, are you sure about this? I mean it's only been a couple of months since Tanya left you. Are you sure you are over her?"

Edward could hear the uncertainty in her voice. "Bella, I don't want to lie to you. I'm not sure I am ready for this, but I can assure you that I am over Tanya. I feel nothing for her. Well, except for disgust. I am definitely feeling disgust."

"I have a lot going on at the moment; work is really kicking my butt, Alice seems to have elected me her only BFF in New York, and I am still adjusting to having her around so much. Plus I have this bug that I can't seem to shake, so I am tired all the time." Bella could have smacked herself. She sounded like she was trying to talk Edward out of being with her. "Why don't we start out slow, feel our way. We don't have to rush into anything you are not ready for."

"Slow sounds good." He chuckled slightly. "You know, it is usually the other way around; the girl asking the boy if they can take things slowly. That's what happens in the movies right?"

"Movies aren't real life, Edward." Bella bit her lip and steeled herself. "So what does this mean?"

"This?" He motioned around them. Bella nodded. "Well, Bella Swan, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Why, shucks, all official like?" Bella said, with a bad, fake Southern accent.

"All official, like. Will you?"

"Only if you will be my boyfriend?" Bella could feel the blush moving up her face.

"I'll be honoured."

"So would I." Edward smiled and pulled Bella to him and against his chest.

She could hear the lub-dub of his heartbeat through his thick sweater. It was comforting and it felt like she was coming home. Slowly her eyes closed, as much as she tried to fight sleep, she couldn't keep her eyelids from closing. She finally surrendered, nuzzling her face further into Edward's chest, his heartbeat echoing in her ears as she drifted away. Edward watched, transfixed, as Bella slept, her face a picture of calm and serenity. They had taken a step further in their relationship and he was flighting the urge to pinch himself to check it was reality. Too tired to try and think about it further and realising that if Bella continued to sleep in her current contorted position she was going to wake up with some uncomfortable muscle pain, Edward decided to move.

Careful not to jostle and wake her, Edward lifted Bella, and walked her to her bedroom, slipping her underneath the comforter. After undressing down to his boxers, Edward slid under the covers and laid down next to Bella, pulling her back to his chest, welcoming his first good night's sleep since he left for the holidays.

As he was slipping into a welcome state of semi-consciousness, that heady place between awake and sleep, he could have sworn he heard Bella utter his name followed by something he couldn't make out. Still, he fell into a deep sleep knowing that Bella's sleep thoughts were of him.

* * *

_Like sunlight, won't you come and lay a ray down? You're the one.  
I could run, I could run for the life of me.  
But where would that get me? Where would that lead?_

_And I'm a fool for waiting so long_

_Come around come around come around come around to me  
There's something in between you and I come around come around to me  
You feel like breathing, Come around come around come around come around to me_

_**Rosi Golan – Come Around**_

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**Can i just say...finally. If Edward took any longer then i was going to sit down and have a word with the boy! All it took was a bitch-slap and being told to Man Up!**

**Big shouts go out to my beta Tina72889 who is a shining star my self doubt.** **One day she will get sick of talking me down from the trees.**

**So what did you think? Glad they are finally together? Suggested remedies for morning sickness?  
**

**Anyhoo, reviews in exchange for sneaky peaks and big hugs!**


	8. Invisible Boundaries Undefended

**_Major apologies for the lack of sneaky peeps but it was either review replies or an update so i went with the update. My beta Tina72899 will be glad to see the back of this chapter...2 rewrites and 3 re-edits! Anyhoo, please read the A/N at end...I need your help!_**

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**Chapter 8 – Invisible Boundaries Undefended**

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**January 13, 2010 – 7.5 weeks**

"Bella, when it says a pinch, what does it mean?"

Bella tried not to roll her eyes. "It's a pinch, Edward. As in put your thumb and forefinger in the jar and you squeeze them together. That is a pinch."

"I am educated, Bella. I know what a pinch is. I meant do I make a big pinch or a little pinch?"

"Edward, it's oregano. It doesn't matter," Bella put the tin of tomatoes she was holding down and turned to Edward. "I don't know what you are so scared of. It is cooking not rocket science. No one will go boom if you get the size of pinch wrong. The very worst that can happen is that you ruin the food. If you do, we start again or order take-out."

Bella had taken it upon herself to teach Edward to cook. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy cooking for Edward, part of her loved to take care of him, but Esme, Edward's mother had asked her to. She had called one day when Bella was over at Edward's apartment, making a Saturday morning brunch. Esme had been horrified to find out that Bella was at his apartment and cooking for him. She had raised Edward better than to have someone wait on him hand and foot. It wasn't right that a guest should come to Edward's and then cook for him. Bella had tried to explain Edward's lack of cooking skills, of which Esme was well aware. Bella had almost collapsed in the kitchen in peels of laugher as Esme continued to chastise her son over speakerphone. His mother had made some jokingly snide comment about buying him cooking classes for his birthday. Edward had retaliated by saying there was no need, Bella was going to teach him.

When Bella agreed, he had whisked her up into a hug, spinning her around and around until she turned green and begged to be put down again. Edward happily obliged but kept her close to his side. He loved being in the kitchen with Bella. Not that he needed one, but it was an excuse to be close to her. They had been fighting the sexual tension that seemed to emanate around them whenever they were close. It had led to a few close calls but they had managed to keep it mostly within the PG-13 category but it was getting harder.

"Edward, you're sauce is bubbling. You will find it stuck to the bottom of the pan if you don't start paying attention. You know when I said that cooking was a no brainer; I didn't mean that you don't have to engage your brain at some point." She hid the smug smile by turning back to her own pot.

Bella heard a deep throated growl behind her. Fingertips assaulted her side as Edward put forth, an almost sadistic smile, tickling her.

"Edward, please no. I don't do tickling" Bella tried to twist around to face Edward, moving to his left and trying to escape his clutches.

It was an aversion tactic that had no effect. Instead he pushed her closer to the counter, her back grazing the counter. She watched his eyes darken, the emerald retreating to be replaced with a feral, deep forest green.

"Edward…" She whispered, her voice deserting her.

Her breathing came in labored breaths; she could feel her heart racing behind her ribs. Goosebumps broke out on her skin where she could feel Edward's touch above her clothes.

"I'll let you go on one condition?" Edward muttered, his voice low. Bella nodded, her voice and thoughts completely gone. "A kiss."

She nodded.

Bella watched Edward closely; his jovial smile began to fade as the silliness of the situation fell away. His hands had moved from her sides and were now resting on the counter edge. She was a prisoner, trapped by his arms on either side. Bella knew from the look in his eyes that a simple peck was not going to suffice. It wouldn't be enough for her either. Nothing about him was ever enough for her, she always wanted all he could give.

His breathing was ragged, matching hers pant for pant. Bella fisted her hand in his shirt, pulling him abruptly to her, before snaking her hand up to his neck. Through the thin cotton of his t-shirt she could feel his uneven breaths and thumping heartbeat. Bella in turn wondered if he could feel her nipples, peaking in arousal of having her Adonis so close. His nose ran along her jaw, inhaling her skin all the way to her earlobe. Her breathing hitched and her hand involuntarily flexed on his neck, pulling his mouth closer to her.

"Bella. I…"

His words were strangled, raspy from fighting his self-control. There was a new steel of determination in his eyes.

Edward shuffled forward slightly, one leg between hers. Their hips aligned and Bella could feel his growing hardness. She had done this to him. Arousal floored her senses, her breathing picked up further and Bella wondered if you could pass out from anticipation alone.

Edward's lips crashed down on Bella's, the tenderness from earlier kisses gone. The rawness was wild and passionate. Bella felt claimed; teeth clashed, tongues dueled for dominance, neither willing to submit. Her hands found purchase in his hair, pulling, tugging, anything to release some of the building tension. Edward groaned into the kiss, rolling his hips into Bella. Looked like Edward had some tension of his own to relieve.

"Edward." Bella groaned.

It broke the spell. Edward froze against her and jolted away from her as quickly as she had pulled him to her. Edward walked away, shaking his head feverously.

"Fuck!" He muttered to himself, running his hands through his already disheveled hair.

"What's wrong, Edward?" She walked to him, slipping her hands around his waist.

"Oh Bella, nothing is wrong. We just had to stop." He pivoted in her arms and slid his arms over her shoulders, bringing her close to her. "I had to stop." He pulled in a deep breath.

"You have no idea what you do to me, do you? Whenever I am around you, I need to touch you, I need to feel you. I don't want to scare you, make you feel like I am pushing you to far."

Bella nodded in his embrace. "I know how you feel. I can't sleep without you near. When you aren't there I feel….empty. I know you need slow, Edward, so we will go at your pace, you are in charge here. You want to touch me, touch me. You need your space, that's fine too. Tell me, don't just pull away from me." She placed her hand to his cheek. "If it is something I don't want then I _will _tell you."

Edward nodded, his face looking more at ease. "Is dinner salvageable?"

Bella giggled, the previous dramatic tension gone. "Probably not. How do you feel about Thai?"

Edward's tummy grumbled in response. Bella took his hand, intertwining her fingers in his and led him to the take-out menus.

**January 20, 2010 – 9 weeks**

The last month had been what could only be described as blissful. Well aside from the vicious bouts of morning sickness, the dizziness and the pure exhaustion that plagued her body. The last month with Edward had been blissful. He had been caring and attentive and completely reassuring in his feelings for her. He had given her absolute honesty; whenever he went quiet or zoned out, he would tell her what he was thinking if he could put it into words. When he could, they sat on the sofa and held each other until whatever thoughts had plagued him passed. His heart was still broken, but Bella wasn't asking for it until it was healed and he was ready to give it.

The pregnancy was progressing as expected, aside from the violent morning sickness. Her breasts had increased in size and her current bras were causing a 'double-boobage' effect. The seams were also irritating her nipples. She knew she had to go bra shopping at some point but between Edward and crazy times at work, it left very little time especially for torture activities such as shopping. Edward had even commented once how great they were looking. She had managed to put it down to a new bra from La Perla. She was just thankful he hadn't seen her naked yet. Not that he wasn't one for trying; they both wanted each other badly.

Bella's hormones were going crazy. More than one make out session had ended in articles of strewn clothing and heaving chests. Ever since their first kiss, the electricity that crackled between them didn't wane. In fact, it seemed to grow. She would lose herself day after day in the memories. The feel of his lips as they met with hers, fitting together like a glove, tailor-made for her and her alone. The pressure as he deepened the kiss, his hands knotted in her hair, sent shockwaves to her core. On a daily basis, Bella questioned whether it was normal to feel so turned on and intense from a simple kiss. Not to mention his tongue, oh God, his tongue. It was a miracle she didn't come at the first touch.

It wasn't completely one sided. He loved her body, well what he had seen of it. After the previous pain issue with her breasts when Edward had hugged her weeks before, he was gentle with her, touches ghosting and seeking permission rather than the demands she had known from previous lovers. The breathy moans Edward muttered as he felt his way around her body, his words of adoration and worship. It was doing wonders for her self-esteem. Thankfully, the hormones would last throughout her pregnancy, so they had plenty of time. The only thing she was struggling with were the mood swings that would put a bipolar sufferer to shame. The movie, 'The Notebook', was now banned after Bella had lurched from the appropriate tears to manic laughter at inapt moments and back again.

Then there was her growing waistline. As soon as she walked through the front door from work, her comfortably tight pants were cast to the bedroom floor and yoga sweats where donned. Despite the excessive morning sickness, Bella could feel the growth of the baby from the way her clothes were starting not to fit her. She was going to try and get away with it for another week and then join Alice in her quest for maternity clothes only if Alice promised a quick escape from the crowds of people there were sure to be during weekend sales.

Bella was just pulling a plum coloured t-shirt from her chest of drawers when she heard keys in her front door.

"Bella?" Alice shouted.

Bella pulled the t-shirt over her head and made her way to the front of the house. She found Alice rummaging around in her cupboards.

"When was the last time you went shopping Bella? You really need to be eating a balanced diet, lots of fresh produce. Kraft Mac & Cheese is not fresh produce."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her mouth into a thin line, giving her time to control the response she would give. Alice had her 'I'm in charge now' face on and Bella was tired and not really in the mood for it. "I haven't had the time to go shopping. I've had three client meetings with possible new outlets for my designs, so I have been grabbing lunch at work. I was planning to get to the store tomorrow."

"Sure, I believe you." Alice rolled her eyes and Bella caught it. For all they were adults, Alice had her childish moments. "Are you ready to go?"

The sparkle in her eyes and the fact that Alice was bouncing up and down on her tippy toes made Bella's annoyance at Alice's interference dissolve and instantly forgave her sister. Bella smiled. "Sure, let me just put some shoes on and grab my jacket."

Alice looked her up and down. "You are going out wearing that?"

The smile quickly faded, the annoyance was back, clawing at the edges of Bella's forgiving resolve. "Alice, we are going to an ultrasound, not to meet the queen. Plus, these are the only things that tend to fit at the moment. I'm nine weeks pregnant, I'm starting to get fat."

"First of all, you're not fat; you're growing a little person. Your body is gonna get crowded. Secondly, lack of proper fitting clothes is easily fixed with a shopping trip."Alice was counting off maternity stores in her head.

"No, definitely not. I don't have enough energy to get up and face the day let alone go shopping. Seriously, things that take minutes feel like they take hours. I just feel heavy and sluggish. You also forget that in a couple of more weeks, I will have outgrown them and be into proper maternity wear." Bella was aware she was once again pandering to Alice's demands. "I'm just too busy at the moment."

"Nonsense, Bella. There is always enough time to go shopping."

"Alice!" Bella growled and Alice shut her mouth promptly.

Alice held her hands up in a surrender pose. "Hey I brought my camera. Are you ready for another photo op?"

When Bella had been pregnant with Cassie, their surrogacy counsellor had recommended that Alice take photos, with Bella's permission, of her as the pregnancy progressed. It was so that Alice would have a book to look back on when Cassie was older. It was designed to be a replacement of the memories Alice should have had from actually being pregnant. Bella had a copy of Cassie's book on a shelf of her bookcase along with several albums of her childhood and college years. The first picture of this pregnancy had already been taken on the day that they took the pregnancy test. Usually Bella stood against a backdrop with something significant of that time. It was always a profile shot. The first picture had Bella standing against the living room wall, her sweater rolled up showing only her stomach and the pregnancy test held up in front of her. In the corner of the shot was a family portrait of Cassie, Jasper and Alice that Bella had given them as a Christmas present the previous year.

"That's fine, Alice.

Bella moved to stand beside the wall perpendicular to the front door. She rolled up her t-shirt to just below her evergrowing breasts. Bella knew there was no bump. She could feel that her tummy was hardening, but this photo wouldn't be any different physically from the second. Bella turned to look at Alice, keeping her body in profile. Alice snapped a couple of pictures before setting the camera back down.

Bella readjusted her clothes. "Let's just go."

Bella grabbed her coat from the coat rack by the door and walked out of the apartment, leaving Alice to lock up.

x-x-x-x

Bella sat on a pale blue, padded bed of Dr. Grace's examination room. First scan visits were always nerve racking. For Bella, more so. First appointments meant blood tests, the double whammy of visible blood and needles. Alice was wandering around the room, refusing to sit in one of the comfy looking three chairs in the room. The ride over had been silent. Bella wasn't as far gone as to be annoyed with Alice, she understood Alice's actions, but she was peeved and Alice needed to know that. Finally the door opened and Dr. Grace came in to the room in her white doctor's coat and a cute twin set.

"Welcome back, Bella. Glad to see we have yet another first time success with you."

"Hi, Dr...Michelle. I must just have a spongy, warm womb, babies love to make a home there."

"More like a homely oven!" Michelle laughed. She loved Bella's humour; sarcastic with a hint of childish to it. They complimented each other well. "So first scan time. Now we will take blood for a couple of tests. We will run the usual blood tests; check iron levels, redo the STD's tests and check all your liver and kidney functions as well. Might as well give you a full check-up while we are at it. We'll check your weight against your pre-conception weight. You know you are expected to drop weight initially." Bella and Alice both nodded. "Then we will break out the ultrasound machine. Things have gone 3D since you were pregnant with Cassie. Though it might not work well at this early stage."

Bella sat gripping the edge of the bed as Dr. Grace started to ready her for the blood tests. Bella tried to look away as she filled the six separate test tubes, and Alice finally sat down in the chair furthest from the bed. She needed time to calm down her anger at Bella for not looking after herself and their baby better. Now Bella was giving out small, child-like whimpers. Did she not realise how much Alice wished it were her being stuck with needles, giving blood to check that she and the baby were healthy. Did she not know how much Alice wished it were she on that bed, not Bella? That Alice hated watching Bella getting to go through having a child for the second time. How much Alice wished it were she?

She was brought out of her musing by a nurse wheeling a machine into the room.

"Right, Bella, we will get you weighed and your waist measured. Have you noticed any growth yet?"

Bella chuckled. "My yoga pants are about the only clothes that fit me these days. I still have some clothes from when I was pregnant with Cassie, you know maternity suit pants and those jeans with the funny stretch band."

Alice stood up and wandered over to what Michelle called her wall of fame. It was a wall full of photos of all the babies that had been born with Michelle as their doctor. Each photo had the baby's name and date of birth. Not that Alice needed either of those to pick out Cassie amongst all the faces. She had spent hours a day, just staring at Cassie when she came home from the hospital. Each minute she spent with her was a blessing, and Alice was just thankful that God had loved their family enough to bring Cassie to them. Alice knew every crease in her daughter's skin; every mole, freckle, and tiny scar from the chickenpox when she was three. Alice could probably tell you how many hairs were on Cassie's head when she was born. Life for Alice had been planned out since she was seven years old. From her wedding, off white dress with purple and blue spring flowers, to children; two girls before she was twenty-eight. The cancer had thrown a major wrench in the works. She had got the wedding but these days she didn't care what her children were as long as they were healthy and happy in life. She only wished that they could have come from her own body.

"Your belly growth is normal, but I am slightly concerned with your weight. You lose weight initially but your weight loss is a little more than expected. Have you been eating healthily?"

Alice snorted from her corner. "When I checked her fridge and cupboards, they resembled _Old Mother Hubbards_."

"I explained that Alice." Bella turned to Michelle. I have been eating out a lot recently with work dinners and Edward has been feeding me."

A giggle erupted from Michelle. "Who is Edward?" She was rewarded with a beetroot-red blush from Bella.

"Edward is her new boytoy."

Bella's head swivelled towards Alice, surprised at the slight anger in her voice. "Alice! Edward is someone I am seeing. It's new, we're taking things slowly."

"Just remember, as much as pregnancy is the ultimate birth control method, it doesn't stop STD's, so still use condoms."

Bella blushed. Sex advice from your doctor when you were already knocked up was a bit like putting the plough in front of the tractor. "Don't worry Doc, we're not there yet."

It had been a mutual, silent agreement that they weren't ready to take things as forward as sex yet. Edward was still processing that he was in relationship again and working with the trust aspects that came with the baggage of his ex-girlfriend. Bella knew that when he was ready to consummate what they had, he would let her know.

Their latest 'close-call' was still fresh in her mind from the night before.

_Edward had driven them to work that morning, after staying the night with her. It was becoming a common occurrence, Edward driving them to and from work, even though it was generally more convenient for them to stay at Edward's. He already lived in Manhattan so they could walk, but Edward loved the homeliness of her apartment. She had even offered to help him decorate but he refused on the grounds his mom had just decorated it for him, and he didn't want to offend her by redecorating so soon. _

_Edward had called her that afternoon, after she had declined him for lunch, having agreed to meet Alice instead. He had asked her over to his apartment to stay as he had work to do and needed to be at home. Bella didn't mind, she used his dining table for her work while he worked in his office. She loved that they could work in different rooms but still know that the other was near. Bella had realized that night, as she sat at his table, that if Edward ever left her life, how would she go back to being on her own? Edward had infiltrated every part of her life without her thinking about it. When she was grocery shopping she thought of what Edward would like to eat, planning meals around his schedule. His hygiene products filled her shower and sat on her bathroom shelves alongside hers. Mysteriously, she had stayed over at Edward's one night and found her shampoo, conditioner and body wash sitting in his main bathroom shower. There had been no discussion about it. They had just come to be so involved with each other. _

_Bella faced the truth of it: She was falling for him and if he walked away, she didn't know what she would do. Bella couldn't see a way to disentangle Edward form her life. He was even friends with her sister and brother-in-law._

_Jasper and Edward had taken Cassie to her first ever football game. One of Jasper's contacts had offered him tickets to watch the NY Jets in their playoff game against the San Diego Chargers. Edward was more of a baseball fan, but he had insisted that he didn't mind the NY Jets and some male bonding time with Jasper.. Bella was beyond touched he wanted to get to know her family, as small as it was. She was however curious that he hadn't introduced her properly to Emmett, but she understood that they were having a tough time and Edward was giving them space to work through it. Edward had returned with Cassie and Jasper, to Alice's house. He was decked out in scarf and cap, really looking the part. Cassie was on his shoulder waving her flag and grinning away with her hands rooted in his hair. Cassie had taken to him too, but Alice had warned Bella that Cassie getting too attached to Edward was a bad thing before Bella had told him of the pregnancy, and if he wasn't going to be around for long. That had caused a mini-argument between Alice and Bella that had been left at an impasse by a call for dinner. _

_Bella had been sitting on his sofa, waiting for him to get out of the shower. Who would have thought that it would take Edward longer in the shower than her? Her shower had been amazing. The morning sickness wasn't letting up and the dizzy spells had been more frequent but she had so far managed to hide it from Edward. She felt fingers running through her hair._

"_Hey?" Bella snapped out of her unfocused daze and turned to greet Edward as he sat down beside her, drawing her legs up over his. _

"_You took your time. I thought I took an age in the shower. You, mister, took longer than Alice and that is saying something."_

_What Edward couldn't tell Bella was that the thought of her naked and in the shower just through the wall next to him had given him a hard on that he couldn't shake, all puns intended, until the hot water had ran out and was through to stone-cold._

"_Yeah, sorry, got…sidetracked." He traced lazy circles on her thighs, patterns of butterflies and flowers, signing his name. It was easy to get…sidetracked…by the creamy flesh of Bella's thigh. Her short sportshorts that passed as PJ bottoms were severely lacking in the cover-up department._

_She had reached up to kiss him managing only to reach the corner of his lips. She wanted more, she needed more. The spark, the fire was burning out of control and, God, did she need some form of release. Bella sat up to her knees, moving her right leg over Edward's thighs so she was straddling him. There was clear evidence of exactly what Edward was feeling. His arousal tented in his sweatpants as she sat just below his groin. The moans as she ghosted her fingers over the bulge fueled her need to feel his body. _

_Edward grabbed her hands as she made to cup him. _

"_Bella, you don't have to." Edward hissed through clenched teeth._

_She smiled softly at him. "I want to. Do you want me to?"_

_He took a deep, cleansing breath before opening his eyes and staring at Bella. "God, I want you to, you have no idea how much I want to. I'm just not ready for that yet. Sex is…"_

"_Sex is a big, nope huge, step and I know you are not ready for that. But please, let me do this for you."_

_She gazed into his eyes, the conflict raining down on him until he finally he closed his eyes and nodded. Bella had made to move her hands forward, but Edward stopped her with a firm grip to her forearms. _

"_You have to let me control this." Edward managed between haggard breaths._

_Slowly he lifted her forward, keeping her hovering slightly above him. Finally he lowered her. The groan Edward let loose when her center made contact with his cock was guttural in nature. The sound flowed through Bella, straight to her core. She gave a quick thanks to God she had decided to put underwear on under her shorts or there would be a mess all over Edward already._

_Bella stared as Edward's eyes rolled back in his head and he let out a guttural 'fuck'. When Edward finally looked back at her, Bella moved her hips, pressing down onto him. Finally the friction she had been seeking. Bella increased her hip rolls, Edward's grip growing tighter until his hips began to move to meet her. _

"_Jesus, Bella, don't stop."_

"_I couldn't even if I wanted to." Bella managed out between pants. "You feel so good."_

_Edward pushed back a strand that escaped from the wet messy bun at the back of her head. "If this is what you feel like on top of me, I can't wait to be inside you."_

_Thrusts became unsteady as both began to lose control. _

"_So close, so close."_

_His face scrunched up as he tried to hold back, waiting for Bella. Her body began shaking above him the __thrusts of her hips becoming shallower as she let go. Bella slammed down hard on him as her orgasm hit__ full force. Chants of 'Edward' left her lips in a mantra._

"_Bella!" Edward roared out as he came in his sweats, really wishing that he had boxers on for an easier clean-up._

_Bella slumped forward, wincing as her breasts thumped hard against him. Her chest hammering matching him heartbeat for heartbeat. Their foreheads met, exhaustion and pure bliss clawing at them._

"_That was..." Bella exclaimed, still not able to form coherent words._

_Edward dropped light kisses across her shoulders. "I can't believe I came in my pants from dry humping. I feel like a fourteen year old boy again."_

_Bella sniggered. "Somehow I can't imagine you as a teenager. Though when I meet your mom, I am sure I can get some embarrassing pictures out of her."_

_Edward smiled to himself. "I'm sure she would be more than happy to oblige."_

"Bella are you okay?" Michelle waved a hand in front of her face.

"Oh, don't worry. She'll just be day dreaming about Edward. She's been doing that a lot recently, just zoning out."

Michelle could feel the tension in the room and Bella's reluctance to talk about her weight loss was worrying her.

"Alice, could you step out for a minute? We are just going to swing Bella into the stirrups before we do the ultrasound." Alice happily picked up her purse and left the room. "Okay, Bella, spill. Why aren't you putting on weight and what is going on with you and Alice?"

"This morning sickness is killing me. I can't keep anything down. More often than not, the dinners Edward cook me come up a little while later. I have found I can keep chicken tikka sandwiches and orange and poppy seed muffins down, oh and popcorn we found out the other day. Even water is making me sick. I have to eat popsicles just to get some form of fluid in me."

"Morning sickness is common. I know you didn't have all that much of it with Cassie, but looks like karma is coming back around. Have you tried the usual solutions; flat lemonade, ginger snap cookies?"

"Yep, tried them all, Joanna, my and Alice's mom, has recommended so many things and nothing is working. I'm just trying to get **t**hrough it. I'm so tired all of the time. I actually fell asleep at dinner the other day; right into a plate of chicken pasta that Edward had cooked me. I don't know if it is because I have cut down from five cups of coffee to one a day. Please tell me this will end soon. I never had anything near as bad as this with Cassie."

"Every pregnancy and woman is different. I can't tell you when it will stop. Most women find that after week seventeen or eighteen, things slacken off and they feel like they have more energy. Try something called Unisom. It is an over the counter sleep aid, but it contains an anti-nausea drug which might help. If you don't put on weight by your next appointment or it gets worse, call me and I will prescribe something to help settle it down, but you have to keep yourself hydrated."

"Just as well. I love popsicles."

"How are things with you and Alice? Things seem tense in here."

"Oh, it was nothing. We just had a disagreement over my badly stocked cupboards. She is just sticking her nose in; she does that every now and again. She thinks that everyone's business should be her business. Don't worry, she is just stressed over today and it will settle down.

"I don't want you to forget how important the lines of communication are between you, Alice and Jasper. You need to talk to each other to make this work. Speaking of communication, how is…Edward?" Bella nodded, her mind distracted in thought. "How is Edward taking the surrogacy?"

Bella looked anywhere but Dr. Grace. "I haven't told him yet. I don't know how to."

Michelle walked towards a desk in the room then walked back to Bella. "This is the number for a surrogacy counsellor. I think you guys need a little help and you, Bella, need someone to talk to outside of the circle. Now shall we let Alice back in?"

Bella nodded, feeling just a little bit more mentally stable. Michelle let Alice back in as Bella made it look like she had just pulled up her yoga sweats.

"Okay, so shall we see what the second Whitlock bundle of joy looks like?"

Bella lay on the table and pulled up her t-shirt to expose her still flat tummy. The gel was cold and alien feeling on her skin. Alice moved around to the opposite side of Bella for a better look at the screen. The probe moved around in the gel as Dr. Grace tried to find good contact.

"Now, we won't be able to hear the heart beat just yet but we will be able to see it." The probe moved around more. "And there is Whitlock Baby 2."

The room was silent as the two women stared at the screen. There in wonderful grainy black and white was a picture of Bella's womb, a black cavernous circle except for a white body. It was bulbous at one end, which Dr. Grace pointed out as the head. When Bella squinted, she could see it, the smaller blob that looked like something out of a Joss Weldon movie.

"Spinal development looks good. Baby looks to be about an inch long, so growth is on target too. That fluttering there," she pointed to a flashing object in the middle of what they now knew to be the fetus. "That is the heart beat. It seems to be good and strong."

In that moment, there were no arguments over groceries or overbearing sisters. In that moment, all that mattered was the little blob on the screen and that all was okay with it.

"I don't think that the contact is going to be good for a 3D image, but we will try in another couple of weeks. In the mean time, I will give you the 2D pictures to take away with you. Alice did you want to snap a picture now?"

Alice grabbed her SLR Canon camera and changed the settings. Bella stayed lying on the table, her pants buttons and her top rolled up. Her arm dangled off the table while her head lulled lazily to the side to face the camera, a serene smile on her face.

"Perfect, Bella. Thanks." Alice packed her camera away again.

Michelle helped clean the gel off Bella and helped her sit up. "Normally I would introduce you to your nurse, but Kate was your nurse when you had Cassie and she is assisting Dr. Perry with a birth. You can catch up with her next time. Any questions?" Alice and Bella both shook their heads. "Well you can call Kate or me anytime if you do."

They left the clinic after booking in for the next two appointments, four weeks apart.

"Hey, can we swing past a drugstore before you drop me at my apartment?" Bella asked.

Alice's head whipped around to Bella so fast, Bella was scared that she would lose control of the car. "Why? What is wrong? Why didn't Michelle mention anything about a prescription?"

"Alice eyes on the road." Bella refused to talk until Alice had turned back around. "Nothing is wrong. I mentioned that the morning sickness was getting a bit too much for me, so Michelle recommended something over-the-counter to give me a break." Alice looked doubtful. "It's safe for pregnant woman."

"Well you are not taking anything until I check the AMA website."

"Alice, be reasonable. She is a fertility doctor. She isn't going to tell me to take something if it isn't safe!"

"No, Bella. I want to check first."

Bella thumped her fists down on her lap. "Just take me home, Alice." Bella muttered, her voice low and monotone.

The rest of the ride was silent. Bella muttered a faint goodbye as she got out of the car. Alice watched her walk to her front door before driving away. Thank goodness it was the afternoon, she could just get to bed and sleep. Edward was out of town until tomorrow and she hadn't been sleeping well. She had made the mistake of changing her sheets the morning he left for a three-day conference, and now the new sheets smelled of detergent and not the wonderful musky, comforting scent of her apple-eyed Adonis.

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**The reviews have been seriously mindblowingly...mindblowing**. **For now though, i need your help two. We (my beta and I) are on a fic hunt. All we have is a sort of summary and we need a name or author of the possible fic.**

_Basically Edward and Bella have known each other all their lives but are awful to eachother.. they were family friends. Charlie and Carlisle are in buisness together they own some drug company. Well Bella and Edward try to deny any kind of feelings for each other but they end up getting kidnapped and held for ransom and are kind of tortured..its a heck of a long story but one i enjoyed and i can't find it anywhere. Ring any bells..OH and their mothers always made them do some funny penguin appology thing when they would get in a fight._

_**Please help us...its driving us nuts!!!**  
_


	9. Lucky Mrs Komodo Dragon

**Sorry for the delay in getting this out to you. I suffered a crisis of writing confidence and refused to publish this chapter until i was sure it was decent. **

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**Chapter 9 – Lucky Mrs. Komodo Dragon**

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Oglivie Heneage Sr. once said that the really idle man gets nowhere. The perpetually busy man does not get much further. Right now, Bella thought never a truer word had ever been spoken. She had been running around like a mad woman all week and her to-do-list was only getting longer. Her life had always been busy; Bella had always liked it that way. It kept the feelings of loneliness at bay. Now that a fetus that was doubling in size every week was sucking all of the energy out of her, the business wasn't as fun. The Unisom had helped a little with the morning sickness. Now she was only throwing up after every other meal instead of every meal. Bella knew that if Alice knew the full extent of the sickness, she would have her off to Dr. Grace's office faster than the Mad March Hare. Bella also knew that she would really have made an appointment with Dr. Grace herself, but she kept telling herself that it would settle down in another week or so. It had been too many weeks, she had lost count.

Tonight, however, would hopefully be her chance to relax. Edward had called her the night before, asking her to bring an overnight bag with her. Bella had joked with him that she didn't need an overnight bag anymore; there was more than enough of her clothes at his apartment already to see her to work the next morning. No matter what she had tried, he hadn't revealed anything about what he had planned. That's why, in the elevator up to Edward's apartment, shifting from foot to foot in anticipation. Surprises were not her forte. Maybe tonight would be _the_ night. She only hoped that she had the energy to follow through.

Edward met her at the elevator doors, looking as irresistible as ever in his open collar shirt and pin-striped slacks. He led her to his apartment, slipping off her grey peacoat from her shoulders.

"Would you like your surprise or to eat first?"

Bella's belly let out a rumble and answered his question. He led her to a picnic he had set up beside the lit fireplace. Bella had managed to avoid the soft cheeses and wine claiming that she didn't like them, and the antibiotics the doctor had given her for her 'dodgy' stomach meant that the alcohol was off limits. They finished up and Edward had given her time to change into something comfy. When she returned to the living room, Edward was holding up a large padded jacket.

"You'll need something a little warmer than your peacoat. I thought my ski jacket would be good."

He held it out as she slipped it on. There was no sign of his scent from the last time he had worn it. Probably when he was at his parents' cabin at Christmas. Slowly her scarf was wound around her neck by Edward's nimble fingers. He stopped short of her gloves, handing them to her with a pair of thick socks. She looked at him as if he had finally begun to lose his mind.

"Trust me, you will be thanking me when we get there."

"Where are we going? Everest?"

Edward chuckled and took her by the hand as they both slipped their winter boots back on. Edward led her away from the elevator and to the emergency staircase. Edward silenced her question with a quick kiss to her lips. He had stumped her and she blindly followed as she was led up three floors of stairs to the roof.

The scene that greeted them took her breath away. On the roof terrace, blankets were lying across one of the big benches. The cushion would protect them from the uncomfortable wooden surface. Edward moved her and sat her down on the bench, kissing her cheek, catching the corner of her mouth. Bella watched as he moved around the terrace, lighting candles that sat in green glass holders. He also lit up two patio heaters that were nearby before he joined her on the bench.

"Here, lie down."

Edward handed her a blanket. It was ice cold from being left out in the New York cold. Right now, Bella wished that she had picked the surprise first, if just so that the blankets would be warm. Edward pulled her close to him, their jackets rustling as they moved towards each other.

"What _are_ we doing up here? It has to be minus one degrees at least."

"Look up." Bella made to sit up but Edward pulled her tighter to him. "No, look up, to the sky."

Bella slowly lowered herself until her head rested on Edward's bicep, his hands linked under his head in a makeshift pillow.

"Now, I want you to follow my finger." Edward lifted his hand away from under his head causing Bella to sit up as he moved the arm she was lying on, forcing her to rest more comfortably on his shoulder.

"Okay, the first one we have is this one." His finger stopped tracing the sky at a very bright star. "That is Venus, one of the brightest planets in the sky, only the moon is brighter and that is because it is closer to us. Venus was the Roman goddess of love and beauty, she was said to influence desire and sexual fertility. It is important to the Yolngu aboriginal people in Australia who call it Burnumbirr. They believe that Burnumbirr helped sing the country into life, part of their creation story."

Bella turned her head and gazed in amazement at Edward. "How do you know this?"

"I spent my gap year before college in Australia. I travelled right up the East coast, from Melbourne to Darwin before exploring Arnhem Land, Kakadu and the Kimberly."

"They sound like names from a Dr. Seuss book." Bella continued to gaze at him. So much she didn't know about Edward. She just hoped she would have a lifetime to find them out.

"It's in the Northern Territory. The indigenous people of Australia mainly live there. It's an amazing place. The film '_Australia_' was shot in the Kimberly. We'll have to watch it. Now back to the stars, you have a lot to learn.

"Now, these stars here." He pointed out two big stars in a line with a less bright star at the bottom. "That is the star sign Aries." His finger pointed just down from Aries, to the East slightly and continued to trace a zig-zag line of stars East. "That is Pisces, the two fish. And then." His fingers quickly tracked West and pointed to three very familiar stars in a line. "Those form Orion's Belt."

"Oh I know this one. Those were the stars in Men In Black."

Edward almost wanted to shake his head in wonder. "Yep, those were the ones. They form part of Orion." He pointed out four bright stars, like the corners of a squint square. "

"I don't see them."

Edward took her hand in his and began pointing them out, their fingers aligned in star hunting. "There, there, there and there. That is Orion and if you look down from his belt, there are a set of stars very close together. Nearby are the stars for his shield and his club"

"I see them"

"Those are his belt. Orion is the hunter in Greek mythology. There are several stories behind why Orion ended up being immortalised in the stars but my favourite is..." Edward stopped as Bella let out a huge yawn. "Are you tired?"

Bella shook her head. "No, no. Carry on. I love listening to you speak."

"My favourite is that Artemis, Apollo's twin sister, fell in love with Orion and Apollo didn't like it. So Apollo tricked Artemis into killing Orion with an arrow. So horrified at what she had done, she begged Ascelpius to save Orion. Ascelpius is the Greek god of medicine and doctors. Zeus, Apollo and Artemis's father killed Ascelpius as he tried to save Orion. Artemis set Orion in the stars to cement his immortality. "

"That is so sad. Imagine having someone you love so much taken away from you and having to live with the fact you were the one that killed him. Artemis was a goddess, right?" She felt Edward nod, his chin resting on the top of her head. "So she would have to live with it forever. Not to mention what her dad and brother did." Bella trailed off in deep thought. "Why do you like that version of the myth so much?"

"Artemis is also known as Diana Roman mythology. She was the goddess of the hunt and the moon in both Greek and Roman mythology. Orion the hunter and Artemis, goddess of the hunt. So equally matched and complimented. They were destined for each other. Artemis was so in love with Orion, despite her brother and father being so against it. When she realised that she had lost him by having been tricked into killing him, she cast him to the stars so she would always have a piece of him, a reminder.

"I hope one day I get to feel that kind of love. My parents have it too. They are each other's equal, would do anything for the other. I can't imagine that they could ever live without the other too. Artemis had no option; she was a goddess, an immortal. Destined to live forever without her soul mate, only able to gaze at him in the stars." Edward stopped, realising he was treading in dangerous territory. "One day I will tell you the other stories of how Orion earned his place in the heavens."

"Where did you learn these stories?"

"My dad. We would star gaze around the fire when we used to go on camping trips. It was stereotypical father and son bonding."

"Wow, there is so much I don't know about you, Edward."

"And the same for you. Don't worry, though. We have all the time in the world to find these things out." Bella let out another yawn. "Jeeze, Bella. It's only nine and you are almost asleep already. Some party animal you are."

Bella managed a mumbled reply of 'busy day' before falling soundly asleep. Edward propped himself up, watching her sleep for a while until he noticed the slight tremors in her body from the cold. He gently lifted her head and extracted himself from the bench. Bella's arm shot out, her hand feeling the space where he had just left. She looked for him, even in sleep. He scooped her up under the knees with one arm and cradled her upper back in the other. Bella's head was safely resting against his chest as Bella subconsciously nuzzled deeper sighing out his name in a moany breath.

This woman was going to be the death of him.

**January 22, 2010 – Friday Night, week 9**

"Hello, you have reached, Edward Cullen. Sorry I can't take your call, but leave your name, number and reason for your call, and I will get back to you as soon as I can." _BEEP._

"Edward, this is Bella. You were meant to be here two hours ago. Dinner is cold and I am really worried about you. Please, call when you get the chance."

Bella flung her cell phone on the sofa. This time his phone hadn't even rung. She paced the same train she had been pacing for over an hour. Around the sofa, passed the dining room table, out to the kitchen and back to the sofa. There was going to be a noticeable flattening of the pile of her carpet soon. The pacing had only been broken by the obsessive need to go to the bathroom. When pregnancy books mentioned that the need to pee would increase while pregnant, they weren't joking.

Just as the whooshing sound of the cistern finished from her latest bladder emptying exercise abated, she could hear her cell phone ringing from where she had last thrown it. With abandoned caution, Bella half ran, half stumbled into the living room. She only just managed to hit the little green 'accept' button on her phone before crashing off the sofa and onto the phone.

"Hello?" Bella managed as her breath left her body in a wheeze from her fall.

"Is this Bella Swan?" The deep voice on the other end asked.

"Yes, this is she. Who's speaking?"

"This is, Emmett Cullen, Edward's brother. I think we met briefly at Edward's apartment."

"Oh yeah, I remember. What can I do for you, Emmett?"

"We've just had a call about Edward." Bella's breath hitched in her throat. "It's nothing serious. A bouncer in a bar we go to a lot called me. Edward's there; he's in a pretty bad state. They tried to get him into a cab, but he won't go. The bouncer is a friend of mine and thought I would come pick him up before they called the cops."

"He was supposed to come here for dinner tonight but he never showed up."

"Well now you know where he is. Normally I would go pick him up, but we're at my parents house in Chicago and can't get there."

"I'll go. What's the address?"

Emmett reeled off an address of a bar that was near where Edward worked. "Thank you, Bella."

"He's my boyfriend, I should help out too." She still got a thrill from the fact that Edward was officially her boyfriend and she got to call him that whenever she wanted.

Bella hung up and began to wrap herself up against the New York cold before heading out to her car.

xxxx

Bella gave a burly looking bouncer her name and he slowly led her through the bar where she could see Edward, alone, slumped in the corner of a booth. The bouncer left her with sympathetic smile and told her to give him a shout if she needed a hand.

Now she was alone. Bella took a second to look at the pathetic, dejected figure that resembled her boyfriend. His suit jacket was haphazardly draped over the back of the booth, one arm trailing down the back of the seat. His shirt looked crumpled, as if he had slept in it and his tie was still tied but hanging loosely around his neck. Bella had never seen him so dishevelled.

In an instant, his apple-greens met her chocolate browns, glazed over and sad.

"BELLA!" Edward shouted across the bar.

Everyone turned to look at her. Bella waved shyly before making her way over to him.

"How did you find me?" Edward slurred, his hand gestures over enthused.

"Oh you know, I was just wandering along the Manhattan streets and I thought I would stop for a drink. You see my, so called, wonderful boyfriend stood me up for dinner so I had to find my fun elsewhere."

"What a terrible boyfriend." Edward peeled out a laughter that could be best described as girly: High pitched and near hysterical.

"Yes you are, Edward." She slid into the booth, into the seat opposite him. "What are you doing here, Edward?"

"I've had a very shitty day. The shittiest of all shit days." Bella watched as a waitress sauntered over to them, eyeing up Edward the whole way.

"What can I get for you?" She leaned over to pick up Edward's glass, making her cleavage visible almost to the nipple.

"Nothing." Bella tried to wave her off but Edward pulled her hand down.

Edward attempted to straighten himself up, wobbling slightly. "I will have a vodka on the rocks, as will my beautiful girlfriend." There was no way that Edward could slur anymore than he had in that sentence. He turned to Bella. "One more drink, then we can go."

The waitress cocked an eyebrow and looked doubtingly at Bella. Bella shook her head and mouthed 'make it water' to the waitress. She smiled at Bella before turning back towards the bar and bringing them glasses of water that looked like vodka shots. He downed the liquid and smacked his lips in appreciation. Bella could not help but chuckle at him. So inebriated, his tastebuds were shot.

"What happened Edward? Why did you stand me up in favour of this?" Bella asked, taking his hands in hers across the table.

"I had a meeting with some clients, Tanya's dad. He was boasting about her engagement, glad that she had found someone worthy of her. He never did like me. He used to say I was just a trust fund brat. I just had to sit there and play nice. I couldn't say anything to him about how his daughter is a cheating slut. She told him some bullshit story about why we broke up and he believed her. The only reason we still have his account is because my boss reminded him that I won't mix business with my personal life."

"You know the truth and that is all that matters, Edward. I know it hurts now but it will get easier. "

"Oh, her father doesn't bother me." Bella watched him take a slug from the empty glass, finding only melted ice water. "I bumped into James, her new fiancé, on the way out. We used to be friends you know." Bella nodded, he had told her about James the night he found out about their engagement announcement. "I hit him."

"You what?!" Bella exclaimed.

"I hit him. An upper cut punch to his nose. I think I broke it."

"Jesus, Edward. What if he presses charges?"

"He won't. He knows I will spill about Tanya, and then James would lose face." Edward sank his head into his hands in obvious mental anguish.

"Edward, I know that you still love her but your feelings will lessen. It gets easier."

Edward lifted his head and cupped Bella's cheek in his hand. "I don't love her any more but why does it still hurt so much?"

Bella took the hand on her cheek and used it to pull him from the booth. "I don't know but lets get you home?"

Try as she could, she couldn't hold Edward up and the stress wasn't good for her condition. Luckily the bouncer who called Emmett came over and took Edward's weight, moving him towards the exit. Bella pulled out her phone. She was going to need help to get him home.

"Hey, Jasper, could you come around to mine?"

"Sure what's up?"

"Edward is drunk and I will need some help to get him from the car to my house."

"Sure, sure. I will be there in about fifteen minutes."

"Thanks, Jazz. Can I ask a favour, don't tell Alice about this. I am too tired to deal with the hassle at the moment."

Jasper begrudgingly agreed. She knew she was only buying herself a day of peace; Jasper couldn't keep anything from Alice.

x-x-x-x

As she pulled into her street, she could see Jasper leaning on the side of his car, waiting for her. Bella pulled into the driveway and nudged Edward. He had passed out somewhere over the bridge and Bella had let him sleep. It was better than risking him throwing up in her car.

"What happened?" Jasper asked as he pulled Edward up and slung his dead weight arm over his shoulder.

"He bumped into his ex's father and it all went downhill from there. I got a call from Edward's brother to go pick him up. His brother is at their parents' in Chicago."

Jasper studied Bella. She looked tired. He had noticed it over the last month or so but it seemed to be getting worse. "You sure you are okay?"

"I'm fine. You know how tired I get when pregnant." Bella attempted a chuckle but she was just too tired.

"Where do you want him?"

"Just put him in my bed, I'll sort him out"

Jasper managed to drag Edward to Bella's bedroom. Edward woke up a couple of times, mumbled and then passed out again.

"Let me know if you need anything."

Jasper left, hugging Bella before quietly letting himself out. Bella went to work on his shoes and socks before attempting to rid him of his tie, shirt and trousers, leaving him in his black boxer briefs. He had come to as she removed his trousers, confused but eyes still glazed over. Bella went and got him a bottle of water.

"Edward, I need you to drink this. You'll thank me in the morning."

Edward downed the bottle of water as if he had been stuck in the desert for days, dribbling a few drops down his chin. She was attempting to tuck him in but he grabbed her hands. "I wanna tell you something else I found out today."

Bella nodded and sat down on the bed beside him.

"Did you know that komodo dragons have two thingies." Edward was waving his pinkie finger in the air.

Bella looked at him in confusion. "What thingies?" Drunk Edward was no longer amusing, she just wanted to go to bed.

Edward giggled like a girl again. "You know," he looked from side to side as if there were other people in the room and then lowered his voice to a stage whisper. "Pen-is-es. Komodo dragons have two of them."

"Lucky female Komodo Dragon!" Bella deadpanned.

"I know." The laughter died from his face. "Bella, I have something I really need to tell you. Something you need to know about Tanya and I."

Bella grimaced. She really wasn't in the mood to hear the next installment in the Tanya and Edward story. She was tired and just wanted rest, not a mind full of racing thoughts. "Just go to sleep, Edward."

Edward nodded solemnly and lay back. Within seconds, his soft, drunken snores filled the room. Bella rolled onto the bed, still dressed in the clothes she had been wearing when she went to fetch Edward, and cuddled into Edward before sleep claimed another victim.

~*-*~

**February 8, 2010 – 11 Weeks**

Bella had just gotten in from one of the busiest days at work for a long time. Her sample design results were in, and Bloomingdales had agreed to purchase four out of five of them for sale in their stores and online outlets. It was a big scoop for her and _Little Feet_. She had been in and out of meetings with legal, production and clients. All she had wanted to do was lie down on the couch for a nap before making herself something light and easy on the stomach for dinner. She had just been dozing off when the knock at the door came.

Bella dragged her tired body upright. The movement was easier now that she had clothes that fit easier. Alice had been visiting every day upon Edward's exit the morning after Bella rescued him from the bar. He was hung over as sin but still insisted on leaving to head back to Manhattan. He had a company basketball game with his colleagues to get to, and Alice had rang to say she was coming over, no arguments. In fact Alice had come around on Saturday afternoon and again on Saturday night with apparent leftovers from dinner Jasper had made. She also come around on Sunday with breakfast and invited Bella to their house for dinner in the evening. She had shown up at her office sometimes and other times, she came to the apartment in the early evening on the pretence of 'seeing her sister'.

Bella opened the door to find Alice on the other side carrying a brown paper bag.

"Hey, Bella. I was at the grocery store and thought I would pop some things over. I also picked you up some more pre-natal vitamins. Sorry was I disturbing you?"

Alice pushed by Bella and into the kitchen. "Alice, I saw you at lunchtime."

Alice had come into her office with a container of steamed vegetables and roast chicken pieces. She had thought that they could have lunch together. Bella didn't believe her for one moment. Needless to say, lunch hadn't stayed down for long.

"I know but I thought of you."

"Just like you thought of me for lunch or my prenatal vitamins, which I had already picked up. Not to mention that you fully stocked my fridge and cupboard with everything natural and organic you could lay your hands on."

"I am just trying to look after you. Work is so busy at the moment, Cassie is in school and I have nothing else to do."

Bella's anger softened. Her sister had to have her nose in everyone's business. It was like an obsession with her that she didn't even realise that she was doing. If it involved anyone or anything related to her in any way, she had to be in the thick of it and know what was going on. More often than not she was harmless, but every now and again she crossed the invisible line and went too far.

"Fine, but next time, just ask me."

"Okay." Alice waved her hand dismissively. "Jasper told me that he had to come around and help you with Edward, that he was beyond drunk."

Bella sighed. She should have known Jasper wouldn't have been able to keep quiet for long. Alice could extract information better than the CIA.

"Yeah, he had a rough day and I went and picked him up from the bar. I got Jasper to help me carry him upstairs as Dr. Grace told me not to lift heavy weights, and that boy was a dead weight."

"Bella, are you sure that getting involved with Edward is a good idea? He seems to have issues and not to mention his problems with his ex-girlfriend. Also you heard what Dr. Grace said about STD's."

"Stop right there, Alice. First of all, Edward does not have 'issues'. His ex-girlfriend cheated on him with his friend, and he is still dealing with that. The only one that should really be concerned about that is me. As for STD's; I am not stupid, nor am I fourteen again. I know what safe sex is and also that the only way to catch an STD is sex. Edward and I, haven't crossed the threshold of sex yet. Again it is my concern, not yours. You should only be concerned if I come to you with a problem."

"It is my concern. You are carrying my child, and I have a right to be concerned when your cupboards are bare which means you aren't looking after yourself or my child properly. Not to mention that Edward is a drunk and what happens if Jasper isn't around and Edward rocks up to your house drunk? Who is going to bail you out then?"

"Alice, sometimes you just need to learn to butt out of other people's business. All your life you have thought that everyone else's business is your own and you _have _to be involved. But, Jesus, Alice..." Bella took a deep breath and tried to rein her anger in but all she could see was red. If she wasn't careful, she was going to say something she would regret. The lightheaded feeling that she had had since she stood up to get the door wasn't helping. Bella needed Alice to leave so that she could just get her head together and sort this mess out.

"Alice, I need you to leave." Bella walked over and opened the front door.

"No! Not until we get this sorted." Alice stood with her hands on her hips.

Bella grasped the door in support as her legs wobbled. "Get out now, Alice."

Alice dropped her defensive stance and walked slowly towards the door. "Seriously, we need to talk about this."

"No we don't. Go Alice."

Bella watched as Alice walked away from the apartment and down the hallway. Bella heard the main door slam shut before her legs gave out. The feeling to throw up was overruled by the darkness that claimed her as she fell to the floor, the lights going completely out.

* * *

**Oh no! So finally we're getting somewhere. Apologies that some people are getting fustrated at Bella and others at Alice. Writing is designed to invoke emotion but i hope it hasn't caused you to think twice about reading.**

**Things start to move faster from this point in. I would like to point out that technically, Bella hasn't lied to Edward about being pregnant, she just didn't tell him. She led him to believe she was ill but please don't judge her.**

**Please keep reviewing or PMing me with questions and observations. I love interacting with my readers. And i will get off my soapbox now...sorry.  
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	10. Building Broken Bridges

**This chapter is dedicated to darcy13 and Pascall for their wonderful reviews and good thoughts. I would like to say a huge thank you for all the kind words you guys sent while i was sick. I am out of hospital and recovering well but i sleep...alot!!!!**

**Please see the AN at the bottom for a change in my update schedule. Thanks**

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Chapter 10 – Building Broken Bridges**

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The beeping sound echoing in her ear was a sound that was as individual as a fingerprint. It was a sound Bella knew well, the sound of a hospital monitoring machine. Her eyes were heavy; they struggled to obey her 'open sesame' command. Sluggishly she managed to pry them open a crack, but the light that flooded them made her shut them again in pain.

"Bella? Bella can you hear me?" Bella moaned, the fog slowly clearing from her brain. "Bella, honey, I need you to open your eyes."

"Not so loud, Alice." Bella mumbled.

Slowly Bella opened her eyes. It confirmed her suspicions; she was in the hospital. There was nowhere else where you would find those square white ceiling tiles and beds with metal bars that stopped you from falling out. Well maybe a mental institution, but Bella was sure she wasn't quite ready for that, yet.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, Bella. I got a call from the hospital saying that you had been brought here to the hospital. Your neighbour found you outside your front door. Bella, you passed out. Jasper and Cassie are just along the corridor in the waiting room. They would only allow one person with you while you were sleeping." Alice reached for Bella's hand. "I am so sorry, seriously so sorry. I didn't mean to push you so far."

Bella looked down at their joined hands and winced at the IV inserted in her hand. "It's fine, Alice, this isn't your fault." Bella winced with her croaky voice. "This is my fault. The morning sickness has been so bad, and I should have gone back to Dr. Grace, but I thought it would just pass."

"Why didn't you say anything? I know you had it in the beginning but then you stopped saying anything about it, so I assumed the worst of it had passed."

"Alice, I've been barely keeping anything down since week two, but in the last two weeks it's gotten much worse. You were already being overbearing, and I knew if I told you, then you would switch to uber-overprotective mode. It was bad enough as it was but I didn't know how to tell you to back off a little."

"I know, I'm sorry." Alice squeezed Bella's hand tighter. "I went home and told Jasper what had happened and he lost it. We have had a few cross words in the years we have been married, most of them recently and over the pregnancy, but this time he really blew up at me. I didn't know, I couldn't see that I was…"

Alice lay her head down beside Bella's head. Their last confrontation shocked some sense into Alice but she wished it had come before a phone call from the hospital to tell them that Bella had been admitted.

**Flashback**

_Alice stormed inside her house after her row with Bella. She was seething. She couldn't understand how Bella could neglect her body like that. Look how it affected her and her baby. Yes HER baby. Bella's baby! That was the real issue. Bella didn't seem to realise that she was part of the baby, biologically, and able to carry the baby to full term. To feel the baby inside of her, kicking and moving. The worst of it was that Bella was taking it all for granted. What if it was her own child she was keeping? What then? Would she be so reckless with her health, with her own child?_

_Jasper had just returned home after picking Cassie up from one of her ballet lessons. Sending Cassie upstairs to change into clothes for dinner that Jasper was starting to prepare, he was startled by the door that slammed as his little pixie of a wife sat down at the kitchen table and huffed exaggeratedly._

"_Care to explain what has you in this state?" Jasper queried._

"_It's Bella. She's being selfish and irresponsible, and just…damn it Jazz….it's not fair." Alice started to cry._

_Jasper put down the spatula in his hand and squatted down beside his wife, putting his arms around her as her body heaved in sobs. "Tell me what happened."_

_Alice regaled him with all the details of her day, including her feelings._

_While Jasper had an innate ability to understand and relate to people when it came to what they were feeling, he didn't know how to truly comfort his wife when it came to this particular issue. Sure she wanted to have another baby. But didn't she realize that she was already a mother, biological or not. Isn't that what really counts? She had given him so much already, and he wished she would just realize that it was enough. She was enough. And the fact that his little pixie couldn't be an incubator for nine months was not going to change the way he felt about her._

"_And she wants to take some drug to help her with the nausea…Lord knows what effect that will have on our baby. And don't even get me started on this Edward guy. He might even be an alcoholic. You had to help him for goodness sakes. Bella just isn't thinking!"_

_Jasper was brought out of his reverie by Alice's comments. _

"_Alice wait, wait. Don't jump to conclusions. I'm sure Bella wouldn't take anything without consulting with Dr. Grace, and the nausea must be bad if Bella wants to take tablets. You know how much she hates taking anything. And about Edward, well Bella is an adult. She has a right to choose who she wants to date or not to date, baby. You really have no say in it."_

"_I have a say when it concerns our baby, Jazz."_

"_I don't really think Edward is going to be a harm to our unborn child, Alice. I think you're overreacting. Besides, if you really thought that bad about him, would you have let him take Cassie to a Jets' game? Be reasonable, Alice." Jasper's voice rose in volume._

_"So I'm being unreasonable? Is that what you're saying?" Alice got up and started pacing around the room._

_"No, Alice. I didn't mean it like that. Don't start."_

_"First Bella and now you. I just can't catch a break today."_

_Jasper slapped his hands on his thighs. It was the most aggression that Alice had ever seen him exhibit. "Damn it, Alice. This isn't only about you. There are three adults involved here. A sister that loves the shit out of you. Enough to have a baby for you. Twice. And from what I hear, you're swaddling her to death, with your overprotectiveness and your mothering. Maybe all she needs is some space to deal with this pregnancy at the same time that she's dealing with a new love interest."He noted the surprise on Alice's face. " Yes, I said love. We both see it in their eyes; it's love. And, Alice...let's not forget that I know how much this is killing you to know how much you desperately want that baby to be biologically yours. Baby, I know that. And if I could give you that, I would. And then there's me. All I want is you and Cassie, and this new baby that God has felt so gracious to bless us with. It's a balancing act trying to deal with all of these emotions that run through my head at times. But at the end of the day...all I want is you and my family, biological or not."_

_Alice stopped pacing and sat back down beside Jasper, grasping his hands in hers. "Why do you always have to make sense, Jazz?"_

_"Part of the southern charm darling." Jasper drawled."It's the reason you fell in love with me honey."_

_"Well I'm still a little mad, and right now I don't like you very much because you're always right," Alice said with a slight smirk on her face. Jasper smiled in return knowing that Alice just needed time and space to absorb all that he had just thrown at her, so he let her continue. "I'm going to take a bath because like I said...I'm still mad at you, but God, help me....I love the shit out you. So I'll be down in time for your delicious dinner. By the way, I really, really feel like roast chicken tonight." She fled up the stairs with a wink and a smile._

**Flashback ends**

Alice came out of her daze as she felt Bella's tentative fingers on her head. She smiled. Bella ran her hands through Alice's short locks, showing her she was forgiven. They both looked up at a commotion outside of Bella's room.

"You have to let me in! She's my girlfriend and she's hurt." Bella would know that velvet voice anywhere.

"She's unconscious right now so it is family only until she wakes up." A female voice tried to sooth.

Alice lifted her head and met Bella's confused glare. "You called him, didn't you?"

Alice had the good sense to look guilty. "Maybe…"

"Well, you better go get him before security hauls him away."

Alice huffed but pulled herself from the uncomfortable, plastic chair and wandered out to the hall. Bella watched as she stopped just at the edge of the curtain.

"It's fine. Can you tell Dr. Shaw that Bella is awake? Edward, you can come with me."

"Is she okay? You didn't really give me much on the phone."

"She's fine, I didn't know much until I got here anyway."

Bella pulled herself upright, fighting the slight dizziness remaining. "If you both come in and stop talking about me as if I am not here, then you can ask me if I am okay."

Both came into the room with sheepish looks on their faces. Alice retook her place on the blue plastic chair and picked up Bella's hand. Edward made his way around to the other side of the bed and sat beside her.

"Hey you." Edward started, pushing a stray strand of hair back behind her ear.

Edward went to speak again but was interrupted by a man in a white coat entering the room.

"Well Bella, good to see you are back with us, you gave us quite a scare. Now how are you feeling?"

"I'm little groggy and a little lightheaded but other than that, fine. What happened?"

"You collapsed. You are dehydrated and you are underweight from what we were expecting."

"Well she has had this stomach thing for weeks now. Could it be that's what caused her to pass out?"

"Stomach thing?" The doctor asked.

Bella looked away from Edward and stared at a spot above the doctor's head. She never could look someone in the eye and lie to them. "I've had severe sickness for weeks and it's not getting any better." This was going to be hard with Edward in the room. "Edward, could you just give me a minute to talk to the doctor."

"What is it, Bella? What is wrong with you?"

Dr. Shaw smiled. "Nothing is wrong. Your wife is suffering from Hyperemesis Garvidarum, also known as excessive vomiting in pregnancy. We are treating her with an IV to rehydrate and will continue to treat her with metoclopramide as an outpatient. The morning sickness should settle down, and I will give you some tablets for it. The Unisom obviously wasn't enough. Don't worry though; the baby is fine and healthy." He flicked through some pages of Bella's chart not noticing the silence in the room. "Now, Dr. Grace's records show that you are eleven weeks along, so hopefully the morning sickness will be wearing off soon, and you should begin to gain more energy as you go into your second trimester. We'll get a tech in here and get an ultrasound just to make sure."

Dr. Shaw left the room, still oblivious to the mayhem his innocent words were about to inflict.

"Edward, I..." Bella stopped at his outstretched hand.

Edward seemed frozen to the spot. His right arm was outstretched in a halting motion. Both Bella and Alice waited on tender hooks as his brain struggled to adjust to what the hell was going on around him.

_Bella. Pregnant. His Bella. Eleven weeks pregnant. Oh, God. No!_

It was like a scratched DVD. The scene passed in slow motion as those watching scrambled to find the next chapter button. Edward turned on his heel, his permanently disorderly hair disappearing around the door frame with its equally frazzled owner. At the same time, Alice sprung up from her seat. Her head swung side to side between Bella and Edward, like watching a Wimbledon Men's final. Bella was clawing at the sheet of her hospital bed, trying to disengage her legs from the snugly fitted hospital blankets.

"Alice, go get him. Please, just stop him." Bella watched as, after a moment's hesitation, Alice bolted out of the small room and headed off in the direction Edward took.

Jasper and Cassie appeared a moment later, looking so confused, concern written all over Jasper's face. As Jasper sat there, stroking what would usually be soothing circles on the palm of her hand, Bella was left with one overwhelming thought.

_He just walked away._

~*-*~

Bella opened the door slowly, almost afraid of the crushing disappointment of who wouldn't be on the other side.

"Hi, Alice." Bella muttered, walking away and leaving the front door open.

Bella had been home from the hospital for three days and, apart from the all encompassing depression at Edward walking away from her, she was feeling better from a medical point of view. Food was staying down more often than not and the medication that the doctor had prescribed in the hospital was doing its job well. She still felt tired but she had a feeling that was more to do with her state of mind than the pregnancy.

"Bella, you have to snap out of this. Could you get anymore cliché? You are wearing Edward's hoodie; unwashed and pulled over your track suit. How very post-break up of you."

Bella's bottom lip wobbled, her eyes glazed with unshed tears. They were haunted and sad, almost lost.

"Have you heard from him?" Alice asked, softly as she made her way into the apartment, closing the door with her foot, unsure if it was safe to take her eyes from Bella.

Bella shook her head. "No. I keep…"

Alice reached out and hugged Bella around the waist. "I'm sorry hon. I wish I could help but I don't know what to do."

"It wasn't your fault, Alice. I should have been honest with him from the start. I think he would have been understanding instead of just bolting like he did."

"Slight over reaction from him there, don't you think? I have never seen someone run as fast as he did."

"No, it wasn't. His ex-girlfriend cheated on him and now he thinks I cheated on him too. That he has become the 'other man' and in my other life I have a Baby Dada stashed away somewhere. I've tried to call him, but it just goes straight to voicemail and he doesn't return any of my messages.

"I don't blame him. His girlfriend ends up in the hospital where he finds out she is nearly three months pregnant and we've never had sex. Somehow he doesn't strike me as the kind of man to believe in religious miracles or immaculate conceptions. I would run a mile too. There isn't a lot I can do about it now is there?"

Alice hugged her tighter, feeling the firmness of Bella's tummy. "Have you eaten?"

Bella huffed and pulled away abruptly, stomping to the kitchen. She wrenched open several cupboard doors and moved to do the same to the fridge.

"See, Alice. Full Cupboards. Full of nutritionally balanced foods. Well the cookies, not so much, but I need something. Ice cream still won't stay down."

Alice stood stock-still. She was staring at her feet, guilt written all over her face. "That's not what I meant, Bella. I meant, you are obviously just in from work and I just wondered if you had eaten yet. If not I was going to offer to cook and we could have dinner together." Bella cocked her eyebrow in disbelief. "Jasper has taught me a few dishes I can make without burning them. Speaking of which, and given your reaction, Jasper is watching Cassie, so I think we need to talk."

The need to talk was halted as, for the first time, the sisters worked together to prepare fajita's. Afterwards, they sat on separate couches, Alice taking sips from a glass of wine as Bella eyed it up, dissatisfied with her grape juice.

"Bella, I am so sorry about what happened: What's been happening since the implantation." She held her hand up as Bella went to interrupt. "No, let me say this. Jasper and I sat down and talked. He said that I was trying to control you, to take control over the pregnancy. He pointed out a lot of things to me. I'm sorry Bella, I am the worst sister. I forgot you are doing this for us. Just because I am a mom, I don't honestly know what you are going through, I've never been pregnant. I couldn't see what I was doing."

"Sometimes that is the problem, Alice. You never see and you never learn. Let's face it, this isn't the first time we have argued about you interfering in other people's business, yet you seem to do it time and time again. Do you even realize what you have been doing? Would you have realized it if Jasper hadn't told you?"

"I need to control something, Bella. I didn't feel like I am a part of this; part of the pregnancy, part of the baby. I felt I was losing control over the whole thing."

"Part of the pregnancy? It's barely even begun. You know the first ten weeks or so at are about me; The changes I go through, my body goes through. We were told that when we saw the therapist the first time around. Generally, commissioning mothers start to feel engaged when I start showing, when you have physical evidence of the fact that there is a baby growing in me. It was exactly the same with Cassie."

Alice put her glass down on the glass coffee table. "Do you know what it is like?" Her voice rose in volume. "To watch you go through…this." She waved her hands in Bella's general direction. "The morning sickness? The peeing? I even envy the weight gain you go through. It should be me, Bella, but God hates me enough to see I wasn't allowed to have children."

"God doesn't hate you, Alice. You were just dealt a wrong hand. You have to let it go."

"Let it go? I should be the one that is pregnant but I'm not. My sister is carrying my husband's biological child because his wife's womb is a barren, useless, wasteland." Alice closed her eyes, a tear escaping her closed lids.

Bella would normally move to hug her crying sister but Bella knew that Alice needed to vent. It had been a long time in coming.

"I know I am being punished for not going to the doctor sooner, for every bad thought, every swear word even muttered."

Bella moved and sat down beside Alice and pulled her into her arms, unable to take Alice's pain any longer.

"Sometimes I hate you so much and then I feel so guilty for those feelings, because I love you so much and I know that you are putting yourself through all of this to try and help Jasper and me." Alice continued. "Every time I saw a scan, every kick I felt on the outside and not from the inside," Alice opened her eyes, glassy and blood-shot. "I hate myself for being jealous, but I can't stop the feeling."

"Do you really think that I don't think that too? Every action and thought to do with this pregnancy is followed by 'What does Alice want to do?'. I can't even consider Jasper at this stage because I am worrying about you and Edward too much to fit another person in my brain." Bella slapped her hands down on the top of her thighs in frustration.

"I hate feeling so begrudging about all of this, but I can't help it. I know you have given up so much and put yourself through so much so that we can have children. But I still can't seem to get past all of this. I feel like I have to be involved somehow. I know it has me walking all over you, but I can't seem to see that at the time." Alice took Bella's hands in hers. "I can't promise that it won't happen again. But I can promise that I will try harder to keep from turning into a controlling hellion."

Bella shoulders dropped slightly in relief. "I just want my sister back. She disappeared and instead I got this psychotic baby mama-to-be. I'm stressed enough without the psychotic pixie action."

Alice smiled tentatively and pulled Bella back into her arms. Bella hugged her tighter, glad just to have her sister back.

"What has you so stressed?" Bella stared at Alice incredulously. "Well aside from the fact you are pregnant and your shoes are about to explode all over the world?"

Bella giggled along with Alice at her enthusiasm. "Well not quite all over the world, but thanks. Yeah, life seems pretty sweet but Edward not knowing is destroying all my happy vibes."

"I don't see why you don't just tell him. I mean I know it's soon but if you are that sure about him then just tell him."

"It's not that I'm not sure about him, Alice. He has...baggage."

"What kind of baggage?"

"His last girlfriend cheated on him with one of his friends. He hasn't told me the full story yet, but it's affected him. He has trust issues and he has just started to trust me. If I drop the baby bomb on him, I'm not sure he won't walk away."

"What about the STD thing? If his girlfriend cheated on him, goodness knows what she was carrying and could have given him. What happens if that affects the baby, not to mention..."

"Alice." Bella growled. "You're doing it again." Alice slinked back and flashed Bella a guilty smile. "He was tested after he found out and he's clean."

"I'm just not sure that a boyfriend is a great thing at the moment. Your work is busy beyond reason and the recent visit to the hospital is a sign that this pregnancy maybe won't be as straight forward as Cassie."

"Alice, as much as I love you, I am not just a baby incubator. I am a twenty eight year old woman who has had a dry spell drier than the Sahara. I have needs and, as much as I love you, I need to fulfil those needs somehow."

"So you and Edward finally..." Alice flicked her eyebrows in insinuation.

Bella giggled. "Well you don't have to worry about STD transmission just yet." Bella felt the blush creep up her face. "We haven't slept together. I mean we've come close but..." Bella trailed off.

"You've been holding out on me. I want details."

Just like that, Alice and Bella were back. Bella chatted happily as she relayed the details of stolen kisses and dry humping to Alice. She was just glad to have her sister back.

~*-*~

**February 12, 2010 – 12 weeks**

"_Hi, you've reached Edward Cullen; I can't get to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number with a message and I will get back to you when I can."_

"Edward, it's Bella. I'm out of the hospital. I want to talk to you; you need to let me explain. Please call me back, it's not what you think."

**February 13, 2010**

"_Hi, you've reached Edward Cullen; I can't get to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number with a message and I will get back to you when I can."_

"Edward, it's Bella, you haven't returned my message or my email. Please call me back. I miss you and I need to tell you want is going on. I'm going back to work but please text or email."

**February 16, 2010**

"_Hi, you've reached Edward Cullen; I can't get to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number with a message and I will get back to you when I can."_

"Edward, please speak to me. This is getting ridiculous. Just pick up your messages and phone me back. If I have to say 'it's not what you think' one more time I am going to go mad. No, Alice, I will not hand over the phone. Just meet me for coffee or dinner...something. I just want..."

_BEEP_

Edward threw his phone at the wall. Lies, lies, lies. He sat staring at the smashed pieces almost laughing at how much they represented his life at the moment.

**February 18, 2010 – 13 Weeks**

Alice checked the piece of paper in her hand. She only hoped Google was up to date. She walked into the minimalist lobby, all marble floors and glass walls. Her Christian Louboutin heels clicked across the floor towards the reception desk.

"Hello..." Alice noted her name badge. "Jessica. I am here to see Emmett Cullen."

"His calendar is empty. I will give him a call. Who can I say is visiting?" Jessica asked, her voice sugar sweet.

"Alice Whitlock. I am Bella Swan's sister."

She waited, arms crossed over her chest showing she meant business. Jessica put down the phone and looked up at Alice, almost wounded.

"He'll see you. Take the elevator up to the thirty-third floor. His Executive Assistant will meet you there." Her voice was lower, quite in submission.

Alice went over the speech in her head as the glass elevator opened. She had one shot at this and it had to go right. As Jessica had informed her, Emmett's EA met her at the elevators and told her he had an hour in between appointments. Alice was relieved, though if this went well, then she would only need ten minutes.

Emmett was not what she was expecting. He was the CFO of The Cullen Foundation; a foundation set up in the name of Edward and Emmett's grandfather to help provide funding to international health programs. Emmett and his mother, Esme, were the public faces on its behalf. Alice was impressed by the look of the office. No overpriced pieces of art, instead she saw pieces by local artists. The furniture was simple yet looked comfortable. It was obviously a charity that didn't spend its profits on its own decoration.

"Mrs. Whitlock, please have a seat. What can I do for you?"

"You know my sister Bella Swan? She was dating you brother, Edward. They broke up."

Emmett relaxed into his chair, his business persona gone and the real Emmett back in residence, "Don't know it. Edward has been a mess since. I've never seen someone consume as much Makers Mark as my brother has. All I can get out of him is that Bella cheated on him. After the whole Tanya thing, I don't blame him for finishing with her."

Alice's face grew harder. "Hey, she didn't cheat on him, and if your dickward brother had stuck around instead of bolting from the hospital like his ass was on fire, he would have found out what was going on."

"So the doctor didn't say that your sister is nearly three months pregnant?" He paused, waiting for Alice's reaction. Her guilty face said it all. "I think, when she and Edward have only been dating two months, it's a foregone conclusion that she cheated on him."

"She didn't cheat on him, the father of the baby is my husband." She watched Emmett's eyes bug out of his head. "Shit, no. That's not what I meant. Bella is a surrogate for my husband and me. I can't have children of our own, so Bella has stepped in to provide an egg and a oven for baking. She also carried my daughter, Cassie. There was no cheating, I can promise you. Bella wouldn't know _how_ to cheat on someone."

"Why doesn't she just tell Edward?"

"Your brother is being a prick, he's not returning her calls, so she can't give him any explanation, and she refuses to do it on voicemail message."

"Fine, I'll tell him." Emmett snapped. This was all getting a bit too 'Day of Our Lives' for him. His brothers angst-ridden break ups. Babies that weren't the mother and now this little bit of Bella's sister was sitting in the office trying to go behind their backs and solve all the problems of the world.

"You really think he'll believe you. He is so convinced that Bella is the devil of this story, he's not even returning her calls to tell her to stop calling. She has emailed every day, called him every two days. Can you please just try and get him to listen to Bella, even if it is just to meet her for coffee. If he still doesn't believe her after that, she will walk away. There is only so much of being called the Jezebel that Bella can take and she's close to the edge. She has bigger things to think about like the baby she is carrying and how she is going to keep with this season's fashions when she has a growing waistline."

Emmett took a moment to take it all in, inhaling deeply. His life was complicated and he was sick of it. He came to work to escape the drama, and now it had followed him there, all five foot of it. If he could get Edward to talk to this girl, it would relieve some stress there, and he would have more time to think about how to rescue his marriage.

"Okay, I'll try and talk some sense into him. Can I at least tell him about the surrogacy?"

"Emmett, how much do you know about surrogacy." He looked at her with a blank face. "Exactly. He'll have questions and Bella will be able to answer them. Plus she will never forgive me if she doesn't tell him herself. From the horse's mouth and all that."

Alice left Emmett's office feeling a bit more upbeat. She had her sister back on track and no longer mad at her. The treatment had worked and the baby was so far healthy and progressing well. Now if she could just get her cupid act together, Bella could be happy too instead of the empty shell that was walking around, masquerading as Bella. Plus Alice did look cute in wings with a short bow; just ask Jasper.

**February 26, 2010 – 14 Weeks**

"I'll take another one in there." Edward motioned to a glass with ice still frozen in the bottom.

The bartender raised one eyebrow, staring at Edward questionably. "Would you prefer it if I just left the bottle?"

She held up a bottle of Makers Mark by the neck and gave it a shake. Edward nodded and she popped the bottle down in front of him.

"You know, soldier, you should slow it down a little. If you get thrown out of here one more time, they're not going to let you back in again. Plus, not sure how your brother is going to react to another phone call at two in the morning. The girl who picked you up from here one time, she was a sweetie."

Edward grimaced and glared at his bartender. Her facial piercings were at odds with her pigtails tied off in pink ribbons.

The mention of Bella ripped a pain through him. A pain not even Makers Mark could reach, never mind numb. It was almost a physical pain that had seated itself in his chest. To say betrayal ate away at you was a vast understatement. Edward had a feeling whoever gleamed that stunning piece of philosophy wasn't talking about the betrayed.

Maybe he should have stuck around, instead of running out, waited for an explanation. Last time he had tried that, he had ended up with too much information and blackened memories of Tanya. Anyway, there was only one possible explanation for Bella being eleven weeks pregnant. He didn't believe in immaculate conceptions. As far as he was concerned, she could leave all the 'let me explain' messages she wanted, he would not be calling her, period.

There was also no chance of Emmett coming to pick him up this time either. He had been trying to talk sense into Edward for the last two weeks but nothing had seemed to break into his world of self pity. The Friday night before, they had gotten into a fight. Emmett had been called to a bar after Edward had managed to get involved in a bar brawl that he claimed he wasn't responsible for. He had managed to get a call out to Emmett to come and pick him up.

**Flashback**

_As they had sat in the ER, waiting for Edward to have a nasty gash to his forehead to be stitched. Emmett decided he had, had enough._

"_You have to stop this." Emmett motioned to Edward's bloodied, dishevelled appearance._

"_Emmett, are you trying to tell me that you haven't ever been caught up in a fight?" Edward knew for a fact his brother had. "I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."_

"_Don't act like this is the first time this has happened recently. It's almost as if you are looking for someone to beat seven colours of shit out of you."_

_Edward tipsily chuckled. "If I wanted that I would join the WWF or try cage-fighting."_

_Emmett huffed in frustration. He grabbed Edward's shoulders and shook him lightly. "This pity party of yours you are throwing is not healthy. It might not be showing at work, yet, but we've all noticed. Mom gets her 'Edward Updates' from me because you have stopped taking her calls. You, my brother, are self destructive and taking everyone else close by out with you."_

_Edward scoffed, his voice sounding as hollow as he felt. _

"_I mean it, Edward. Rosie and I have enough problems of our own without taking on yours as well. I even had some Tinkerbelle of a woman track me down at work asking me to talk some sense into you over Bella."Emmett's face softened. "You have to talk to that girl. You have this thing with her all wrong."_

"_What do I have wrong?"_

"_It's not my place to say and I don't want to be any further involved." He ran his hands over his face. Emmett could have sworn he had aged ten years in the last couple of months. "Until you sort yourself out, I am out. I need to work on saving my marriage." He drew back the curtain of the cubicle Edward was seated in before turning back to Edward. "Please call mom, she's out-of-her-mind worried about you."_

_Emmett had walked away from him and, although his mom had told him that Emmett wasn't mad at him, Edward still hadn't heard from his brother._

**Flashback Ends**

Edward sighed in pure mental and physical exhaustion, his body propped up only by a barstool. He flung more than enough bills onto the bar to cover the half empty bottle of Makers Mark left. He peeled himself from the seat and made his way out of the bar. For the first time since he had left _her_ at the hospital, he was heading back to his apartment before midnight

* * *

It could be another misunderstanding  
You should stop trippin' and find out what is happenin'  
Before you start pointing fingers do something for me  
Realize there is two sides to every story

_Misunderstanding – Boyz II Men  
_

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**How much would you love to see Alice and Emmett duke it out?**

**I want to say a huge thank you to my beta Tina32899 who basically wrote the interaction between Jasper and Alice. Her way with words continues to astound me...which is why she is my beta! Big hugs hun!  
**

**Thank you for the reviews also. I think i managed to get to them all this week! They are keeping me going through what is a hard time in RL at the moment. Due to RL, mt recent hospital visit and the fact that i am now writing 8000+ word chapters, my update schedule will shift to an every other weekend update. Its just until i find out what is wrong with me and am able to get my head back in a Twi thought pattern. Not all bad, you get longer chapters! Sorry!**


	11. Come Up To Meet You

**I'm 27 years old and very unarticulated as all i can come up with is can i just say, you guys are the awesomeness! Majorly so! I've had over 100 reviews, 100 alerts and over 6,000 (yes 6,000) hits. So we agree, Edward is a Class A Muppet for running away, Bella is dumb for keeping the bub a secret and Alice loved Jaspers roast chicken dinners...on that note, on with the show! **

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**Chapter 11 – Come Up To Meet You**

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**February 26, 2010 – 14 Weeks**

Bella let herself in through the front door to Alice and Jasper's house. It was a chilly Friday night in New York. A freezing fog had wrapped its self around the city in a strangle hold and, according to the weather man, she wasn't letting go any time soon. The bleakness of the night, all cold and spooky streets, reflected her mood. For the most part, Bella appeared to be happy in life, a dumpee in recovery but coping well. Eating well, enjoying trips out with her sister or her family. When the door to her car or apartment was closed and she was alone the real Bella came forth. A Bella still broken and numb from loss. Sometimes she managed to funk herself out of it by chastising herself that he was just a man and she was a strong, independent woman or whatever bullshit she could conjure up. The other times she allowed the empty feelings to overwhelm her, crushing her spirit further. He wasn't just another man, he was her man; her Edward.

"Hey guys?"

Bella braced herself against the living room doorframe as Cassie came running at her.

"Cassie, slow down. Don't run in the house." Jasper yelled as he came running after her, his bowtie hanging limply around his neck as if it had been tied and then pulled out. In Jasper's hands was a pink top, clenched in his fist.

Cassie had managed to slow down enough that Bella only received a small bump as Cassie moved to hide behind her legs. She was running around with one leg in her tights, the other leg trailing behind her. She was only wearing her white undershirt, which explained the small sweater that was hanging from Jasper's hand.

"What's going on Munchkin? Why are you running around the house?"

"Daddy wants me to have a bath and I don't want a bath. I want a shower."

Jasper let out a frustrated sigh. "Cassidy, I have just run you a bath. I am not wasting water just so you can have a shower instead."

Cassie let go of Bella and crossed her arms over her chest. In a move that was all Alice, Cassie stamped her foot before proclaiming. "I. Want. A. Shower."

Jasper went to speak, but Bella held up her hand slightly before crouching down to Cassie's level. "How about we put some of your mommy's really posh bath salts in the water and I sit and chat to you while you have your bath? I can't chat to you if you are in the shower?"

"Why not? Mommy and Daddy chat in the shower all the time."

Bella glanced up at Jasper, who had the good grace to blush. "Yes, well, I'm not very good at shower talking."

Cassie uncrossed her legs, biting her lower lip in thought. "Okay, as long as you come and talk to me."

"Agreed, now let's get you undressed and into the tub."

Jasper handed off the pick sweater to Bella as she walked by and watched as she wandered up the stairs to the bathroom. Bella was such a natural with Cassie. Maybe it was nature. She had carried Cassie, therefore, she had the instincts.

It had shocked Jasper, Bella's decision to carry a second child for them. He could see, in his short visits before moving permanently back to New York, that Bella felt something for Edward, even if she wasn't aware of it at the time. He had thought that she would have wanted to explore what could have been with Edward and the surrogacy would have been an added complication they did not need.

Jasper also knew that Bella had always felt indebted to the Brandon family for continuing to care for her after Charlie's death. Joanna could have easily shipped her off, back to her mother in Phoenix. Joanna would never have done such a thing, but Alice had confided in him that the knowledge was always there in Bella's subconscious.

As it had turned out, the surrogacy had been the thing to split Bella and Edward up. Jasper understood why Bella had maybe wanted to keep it from him in the beginning. Bella didn't trust very easily and had few close friends because of that. He was sure she would have told Edward when she realised she was in love with him but in typical Bella fashion, she hadn't realised she was in love and now their relationship was in tatters.

Jasper shuddered at the thought of Alice ever walking away from him. He didn't know how he would live. Even with his children, he knew life without Alice would be no life at all. A gaping hole in his world. He would go on, just for his children, but there would never be a time when he would consider another person to be to him what Alice was.

Jasper was pulled out of his dour reflections by his stunning wife coming down the stairs. She was dressed in a knee length red wine dress, strapless on top and floating around her knees. He hardened at the sight of her. If he was lucky, he would get a chance to run his lips over her silky skin shoulders in the car taking them to the fundraising dinner, sating the desire to take her for long enough until they were somewhere more appropriate.

"Are you ready?" She motioned to his untied bowtie before moving to tie it herself. "I've said good night to Cassie and told Bella we won't be back till late. I'm tired and I know how you hate these things."

"I don't _hate_ them, Alice. I just hate faking interest in people whom I would normally have nothing to do with outside of work."

"It's for a good cause so put on your southern charm, and if you play nice I will let you wear the cowboy hat tonight."

Jasper stared dumbly at the back of Alice's head as she dragged him out to the waiting car. God, he loved his wife.

x-x-x-x

Bella smiled softly to herself. It was the most relaxed she had felt in weeks. It was incredible what the presence of a child could do for you. After a very chatty bath, Cassie had submitted to putting on pyjamas rather than dancing around the house in just her towel. They were currently sitting on the comfortable chaise lounge in Alice's sitting room, her feet propped up on a large ottoman and a cup of coco in her hand. Cassie was resting on her stomach, just above the small bump that was starting to show.

Cassie had, so far, been fascinated with the emergence of a bump. She had first noticed it when Bella had come over for dinner and was helping Alice cook, insisting that Jasper needed a night off from the kitchen. Bella had reached up for a glass out of the cabinet when Cassie, who was standing beside her kneading dough for the garlic bread, let out a gasp and asked, 'Auntie B, when did you start getting fat?'. Alice, Jasper and Bella had sat her down and explained about how the baby would grow and how Bella too would look like the really fat woman in the street. They had also asked her to stop calling Bella fat.

Now Cassie took every opportunity to talk to Bella's belly. She would tell it about her day, about its soon to be Mommy and Daddy and Auntie B too. Ground rules were laid down early by Cassie. So far the bump knew not to play with her Barbie or any of her toys and that Cassie would always have the biggest bedroom wherever they lived.

"Auntie B, why doesn't Edward come and see us anymore?" Cassie asked her head rotating on Bella's tummy.

Just like that, her unstressed state was gone. Cassie had only met Edward a handful of times, but he had left quite an impression. Especially after the Jets game. Daddy was cool, but Edward was cooler.

"Um, Edward and I aren't friends anymore, Munchkin."

"Why?"

"Well, you know how you and your friends at school sometimes have a falling out?" Cassie nodded. "Well Edward and I had a falling out to. I should have told him something and I didn't. When he found out, he was mad at me for not telling him."

"Oh, I did that once. I broke Suzie's blue colouring pencil and then I put it back in the box so she couldn't see it was broken. When she found it, she was upset. When she found out I did it, she wouldn't talk to me and made my friends leave me out of games. Our teacher made us say sorry to each other, and now Suzie is my best friend. Did you say sorry to Edward?"

"I tried to, but he wouldn't listen."

"My teacher makes us sit next to each other until we apologise. Did you sit at a table with Edward?"

"No, I didn't."

"Maybe you should, say sorry, shake hands and then you can be friends again. Then he can come round and go to Jets games with us. Daddy's not fun, he won't let me sit on his shoulders when everyone stands up. Edward does."

"I can believe that." The melodic sounds of the Lion King credits rolling up the television screen signalled time for Cassie to go to bed. Luckily the little munchkin was exhausted from school and didn't put up a fight. After a quick tuck in and prayer together, Bella closed the bedroom door and made her way back downstairs, her mind reeling at a thousand miles an hour.

Was it really that simple? What were they, six again? If she could just get him to hear her out, let her explain, she was sure he would see reason. Bella knew one thing; she couldn't let him go without a fight.

x-x-x-x

Bella was dozing lightly on the couch when Alice and Jasper came tumbling in from their night out. It was obvious that a good time had been had. Jasper's bow tie nowhere to be found, his top shirt buttons undone and an Alice shaped lipstick mark on his neck. Alice looked equally dishevelled with her hair more erratic than usual.

"Oh sorry Bella, didn't mean to wake you." Alice exclaimed, her head moving between Bella and the stairs, her eyeballs following drunkenly behind. "Why aren't you in the guest room?"

"I'm not staying. I have to go; I have to go see someone." Bella moved around the living room, gathering her things.

"Who you going to see Bella?" Alice said toppling to one side as Bella flew through the front door, throwing a 'goodbye' over her shoulder.

~*-*~

Marcus, his usual doorman, was absent from his desk, a sign saying he was on security patrol, hence the locked main doors. His body sagged against the handrail of the elevator as he closed his eyes against the emptiness that threatened to engulf him. He had pushed everyone away from him. Safe from the hurt caused by others yet so alone.

The elevator pinged to let him know it had arrived at his floor, his eyes centred on a form lying at the foot of his front door.

_Bella_

He crouched down at her prone form, her brown hair curtained around her face. She was sleeping soundly, her jacket pulled backwards around her folded body like a blanket.

_What the hell was she doing here? How did she get in?_

Seeing her sent the pain ripping through his chest all over again. Surprisingly, he didn't feel the overwhelming anger that he thought he would when he saw Bella again. Instead he felt a sudden explosion of happiness that she was there, disregarding the fact she, a pregnant woman, was sitting outside his apartment door asleep. That was quickly replaced with the knowledge that their relationship was probably damaged beyond repair and that Bella was not completely responsible for that.

"Bella?"

Edward shook her gently and received a small moan from her before soft snores resumed. A few further attempts to rouse her failed. He scanned his key fob and his front door lock slipped open. He slid his an arm under her scrunched up knees and put a supporting arm around her back. Slowly he lifted Bella off the floor, cradling her close to his chest as the hand around her knees groped for the door handle. Finally, he was in to the cold, desolate apartment, and then he sat Bella gently down on the couch.

The impact of being placed on the couch jarred Bella back into consciousness. She stretched out like a cat, her shirt riding up. Edward winced as the shirt revealed the small bump that had formed in his absence in her life. It was a physical reminder to him of her betrayal, but also part of him was curious how she ever thought she was going to hide this from him. Edward managed to draw his eyes away from Bella's stomach and glanced into Bella's tear-filled, chocolate eyes.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have showed up at your door." She took a second to realise where she was. "How did I get in here?"

Edward collapsed backwards into a chair, his legs unwilling to hold him up anymore. "I found you, asleep."

Bella blushed red in embarrassment. "I'm sorry." She went to stand only to sit right back down again as the dizziness claimed her.

Edward moved towards her from his chair, sitting at her side on the sofa. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just stood up to quickly." She looked around the dimly lit apartment. It seemed untouched yet she couldn't see a speck of dust anywhere; it was just void of anything. "I knocked but you weren't here. I sat down to wait but I must have fallen asleep." She grabbed his watch. "Eleven, no wonder I fell asleep. I have to be tucked up in bed by nine these days or else I am no good to nobody. I should go."

Edward relaxed and slumped back against the couch, closing his eyes. "Why did you come here Bella?"

Bella took a shuddering breath. She would not cry! Not here, not now. She had cried an ocean already and she knew if she broke down in front of Edward, she might never stop again until he forgave her. Bella was very aware that forgiveness was not something Edward may give her.

"You wouldn't take my calls, you won't call me back or answer my messages. What else was I meant to do, Edward? You never gave me a chance to explain what was going on. Me being pregnant isn't what you think."

"Oh no, so what is it? Don't tell me; it was a gift from God and that no guy was involved," Edward reeled around on Bella, scaring her a little. "Bella, there isn't that many options as to how you ended up knocked up."

"I'm not knocked up." This time Bella managed to her feet without the dizzy spell. "If you had stuck around at the hospital, you could have listened to Alice and I explain."

"Oh yeah, Alice. Tell her to stay away from Emmett's work. There is no need to get my brother involved in this. This is between you and me."

"No, Edward. This involves most of my family too. I am not knocked up. Yes, I am carrying another man's child. Jasper's!" She watched Edward's face recoil in horror. "No, no, no. NO! That's not what I meant. It's Jasper and Alice's child. I'm their surrogate. Their baby oven."

Edward seemed to shake his head as if clearing a thought. "Say what?"

"Alice can't have kids, so I am their surrogate. My egg and womb, Jasper's sperm and IVF treatment."

His face was a myriad of emotion, one after the other flashing across his face. "Start from the beginning. What is going on, Bella?"

Bella sat back on the couch and turned her body towards Edward. "Alice had cancer when she was in college. The treatments left her unable to have children. No ovaries and no womb. When I was twenty-two, Alice and Jasper decided that they wanted children and after several failed attempts at finding a surrogate, I offered. We took my egg and Jasper's sperm and used IVF to make me pregnant. Nine months later, Cassie was born. I'm Cassie's biological mother, not Alice."

"Does Cassie know?"

"Yes, in her own way. She knows that I carried her in my tummy, but Alice and Jasper are her mommy and daddy."

"So how does this explain the fact that you are...your condition?"

"Pregnant! You can say the word. It's not a disease. When Alice and Jasper moved back to New York, they had decided that they wanted to have another child. Alice asked me, in fact on the day I bumped into you in the hotel, if I would provide them with a child biologically similar to Cassie. I said yes, and so we started the whole process again. I'm fourteen weeks pregnant, Edward."

There was silence in the room, nothing stirred. Bella watched as Edward processed the information she had given him. Slowly but surely the lights came back on behind his eyes, and the storm that had been brewing there since she had first woken up in his apartment that night, had abated to a mild stirring of the wind.

"So there is no one else?"

"There hasn't been anyone else for a while, Edward, there has only been you." Bella let out a yawn.

"Fourteen weeks? So you started the process before we were together, yet we were friends. Why didn't you tell me, Bella? I was your friend first and I would have stayed your friend regardless of the pregnancy." Edward clenched his hands into fists, feeling his anger building again. "You lied to me, Bella."

"I didn't lie to you, Edward. You never asked if I was pregnant and I never denied I was."

Edward sprung from his seat, pacing away from Bella to try to gain control of his anger. "Technicalities, Bella. I've believed that you've been ill, sick. I wanted you to go to a doctor. Do you know how worried I have been? We were just getting together, I didn't want you to think I was clingy or pushy. Therefore, I didn't mention it. I trusted you to look after yourself and know what was better for yourself. Call it guilt by omission if you don't want to call it lying."

"I know I should have told you, right from the start."

"Damn well you should of, Bella. How can you start a relationship built on lies?" Bella glanced at him pointedly. "Okay, on omissions?"

"After everything with Tanya, you promised me honesty. How am I meant to trust you?"

"I don't have any other secrets. I wanted to tell you so much, even Alice wanted me to tell you, but I was scared."

Edward brought himself back into her line of sight. Her eyes were wide, glistened with unshed tears. His resolve softened, his previous feelings lessening his angry resolve. He sat down beside her on the sofa.

"What were you afraid of?" Edward hesitantly took Bella's hands in his.

"I don't know, lots of things. For starters, I won't lie. I always wanted more from you than just friendship. However, I had seen how much Tanya had hurt you, and I knew you needed time to deal with the pain. Also, you needed a friend more than anything. A friend who wasn't bias to the relationship, someone who hadn't known either of you. I was that for you. What if you had decided that you could take Tanya back? Forgive her? Up until Christmas Eve you hadn't even told me the full story of what had happened. I wanted to save myself the heartbreak of it all. I also couldn't predict how you would act if I did tell you I was going to be Alice's surrogate. Even if you hadn't run for the hills, you wouldn't have wanted anything more with me while I was carrying a child that isn't yours."

"You never gave me that choice, Bella. We'll never know how I would have reacted, but I can tell you now that I would never have judged you for wanting to do such a wonderful thing."

Bella's eyes shifted away guiltily. "People have judged me in the past. For the IVF, for the surrogacy. There is still lot of controversy surrounding it. I didn't know how you would react to me being pregnant and I didn't want anyone to judge me or Alice and Jasper for the decisions we have made."

Edward drew her face back to him, pulling her chin up until she looked in his eyes. Once he had her, he took her hands and rested them in his lap. "I would never judge you, no matter what it was you did, you have to realise that from now on in.." He squeezed her hands tight as a symbol of how serious he was. "I think it is a beautiful thing to do. What about you in the hospital?"

Bella turned away slightly, guilt filling her again. "That was a result of not taking care of myself or getting help when I needed it. I was suffering from excessive morning sickness. I hadn't kept anything down really from about week two. When I wouldn't get help, my body made me. I am fine by the way." It was Edward's turn to look guilty. "I just needed hydration and some meds from the doctor. I am feeling better now. I still get queasy but almost everything stays down."

"God, how could you ever forgive me?"

"We were both to blame really. I should have told you sooner and you should have trusted me." Bella stared at him, pleading in her eyes.

"Bella, I have something I need to tell you too. It's about Tanya."

* * *

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_  
_You don't know how lovely you are_  
_I had to find you_  
_Tell you I need you_  
_Tell you I've set you apart_  
_Tell me your secrets_  
_Andask me your questions_  
_Oh, let's go back to the start_

_**The Scientist – Coldplay**

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**So a couple of concerning reviews after the last chapter but i hope this helped make things a little more clearer. No major dragging out of the angst...you guys have been through enough. But over 1000 hits for the last chapter says that you still keep coming back for more...glutting for punishment!**

**Story Rec: I have been reading a fastastic story called 'Lets Love To Hate' by Foreverx17. Bella and Edward are married but have been separated for 3 months. They haven't told their family. Now for the sake of Alice's upcoming wedding to Jazz, they have to pretend to love one another when all they really want to do is hate. Its funny, witty and outlines some really great points about relationships! READ IT!!!  
**


	12. Burn The Baby Bible

**I can't do it, i can't only update every two weeks. I miss talking to reviewers and getting your feedback and...well laughing like a school girl every time a review appears in my inbox! So i have decided that i will keep updating every week but there may come times when you will have to wait a week longer for an update but i think i should be okay.****

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**Chapter 12 – Burn The Baby Bible**

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_Previously on Perfect Timing_

_"We were both to blame really. I should have told you sooner and you should have trusted me." Bella stared at him, pleading in her eyes. _

_"Bella, I have something I need to tell you too. It's about Tanya."_

* * *

**"****Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future." - Fulton Oursler**

**Saturday February 27, 2010 – 14 Weeks**

Bella couldn't help but yawn again. Her eyelids drew heavy as she struggled to keep them open. Each blink was harder than the last. Slowly but surely the darkness claimed her and she surrendered to a peaceful sleep.

~*-*~

They say that the best moment in life is that blissful ignorance between sleep and awake. That moment or three where all is right with the world. The bad things have not happened and the good things are yet to come. Bella loved these moments. These moments had been sadly lacking in her life of late. She woke, not to the pleasure of unawareness, but to the displeasure of crushing disappointment. Today, however, was different. Today she woke to that blissful ignorance. She awoke to Egyptian cotton sheets and a body warmed. Warmed by sunshine, she imagined, as everyday for the last three weeks she had woken up cold, alone and unsure.

Eventually the moments cleared and slowly she returned to reality: A reality still so similar to the blissful ignorance of seconds ago. The sheets were still Egyptian cotton and the sun was still warming her. Only the sun didn't move, and it certainly didn't mumble under her. One eye peeled open and, to Bella's surprise, she didn't find her black sheets with the white ivy vine pattern. Instead, she found skin, pale, almost hairless skin. It mumbled again, the deep reverberating groan shooting straight through her ear and into her heart. Her head was laying on a chest whose every contour she knew so well. A chest she had traced with her fingertips on more occasions than she could count.

_Edward._

Without disturbing the sleeping Adonis below her, Bella lifted her head and stared down at his sleeping form. Somewhere in the middle of the night, after she had fallen asleep on him, Edward had moved her to an all too familiar bed and removed her shoes and socks. The Adonis himself was topless, dressed in only loose plaid pyjama bottoms, from what she could see where the duvet cover had fallen away from them.

Then reality completely crashed in: The hospital, the fight, her confession the night before. Bella vaguely remembered him forgiving her for not telling him that she was a surrogate for Alice and Jasper. She also remembered Edward telling her that he had something to tell her; something to do with Tanya.

Horror flooded her mind. What had he wanted to tell her? What could any of it have to do with his ex-girlfriend? A woman who is his ex because she cheated on him? Had they gotten back together in the weeks she had been apart from Edward? Why the hell did she fall asleep? Ah yes, the little bub that was currently in residence in her womb. Bella flew from the bed, as fast as she could, confusion and self-preservation ruling over the dizzy feeling from having gotten up too fast.

Her abrupt movement caused Edward to stir from his deep slumber.

"Bella?" He moaned, sleep plaguing his voice. He noticed that she wasn't where he had left her as his hands felt for her presence. "Bella, where are you?"Her whimper drew his attention to where she was standing. "What are you doing over there?"

"Last night, you said you had something to tell me. Something to do with Tanya."

Edward's face paled. "Please come here." He patted a space between his legs on top of the comforter.

She shook her head, stubbornly staying where she was. "Are you two back together?"

"No! God, no. How could you…" His mouth opened and closed like a fish. "I don't understand where you came up with that from!"

"Well then what else could you have to do with your ex-girlfriend?" Bella crossed her hands over her chest.

"Please, Bella, just come here." Bella was unable to resist the way her name rolled out of his mouth, so she moved to sit between his legs, her back against his chest. He gently wrapped his arms around the top half of her arms, pinning her close to him.

"I wanted to explain why I reacted the way I did, in the hospital. I told you Tanya cheated on me with a friend of mine, James. James wasn't just a friend. Outside of Emmett, James was my best friend. She had been cheating on me with him for four months. Once day I came home early and found a pregnancy test sitting on the side of the sink in our en-suite bathroom." Bella's hands ran smoothing circuits on his forearms, feeling his pain through the tone of his voice.

"She came in about thirty minutes later and found me sitting on the bed with a positive pregnancy test in my hands. Tanya must have thought I was the most stupid person on the planet. I am sitting there on the bed with the goofiest smile on my face thinking I am going to be a dad, and Tanya is staring at me in absolute horror. It turns out that James had been there in the apartment when she had taken the test; she had only come back when she did because they had forgotten to take the test with them. She was pregnant; that much was true, except James was the father, not me. She was sorry she lied to me, and she wasn't planning on lying to me further. They had been trying to work up the courage to tell me for over a month.

"The rest you know. James seems to love her enough he has proposed and they are getting married at the end of June, after the baby is born." Edward let out a harsh breath. Retelling the sorry tale of their break-up was exhausting.

Bella sat back, quiet. Her mind was processing what Edward had told her, but it was damn near impossible as one word wound in her head...**hypocrite**. On finding out she was pregnant, Edward had ran out on Bella. He didn't return her calls for three weeks. Three weeks of more heartache and pain than she had ever endured, and she had endured a lot. Charlie's death, Alice's cancer, and her mother's non-existence in her life to name but a few. Instead, Edward had ripped her apart by walking away from his intricate weave in her life, and now he was back. Instead of feeling awe-inspiring relief, she felt almost stung. The anger built inside her causing her to shift away from Edward.

"So, you are telling me that you haven't completely been honest with me either?" Edward looked away, guilty, but Bella was on a roll. "You go on about how I wasn't honest with you and that I was keeping things from you. You..." She turned her pointer finger on him, prodding it into his chest. "You have this doozy up your sleeve. When were you planning to tell me that your ex left you because she was pregnant with another man's child."

"I tried to tell you, but it was never the right time. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. You knew I had an ex and she had left me just before I met you. Why my previous relationship ended isn't really a concern of yours. I would understand the need to spill every detail if she was a jealous, knife-wielding psycho, but she's not. She is in love with someone else and won't be a part of our lives."

Edward ran his hand through his already tangled mop of hair. Why was Bella being so irrational about Tanya? He hadn't asked her for details on her past relationships, and why they had floundered, what right did she have to his?

"You go on about honesty and being there for each other. Why was it I picked you up from a bar drunk when you found out about Tanya and James' engagement? Why didn't you come home to me and talk about it?" Bella continued.

Edward reached out for her hands and tried to pull her closer to him. She needed to calm down. Stress was not good for pregnant women he had heard. Bella held fast to her spot, but he watched the zoned haze clear from her face. Her anger turned to realisation over what she had said.

" Oh, God, Edward, I am so sorry. I mean…" Her eyes filled with tears that went unshed as she tried to rationalise herself. "I tried to tell you so many times about the baby but I was scared, so I understand that you were scared too. If you had told me the _whole_ story about Tanya, then maybe I would have told you about Alice's baby sooner. I would have understood better about why you reacted the way you did in the hospital. I can't imagine what that must have felt like." Bella moved back closer to Edward.

Edward rubbed calming circles on her back as her body shuddered under attempts to keep her tears at bay. Was this what he had to look forward too? Irrational venting and mood swings that could give him whiplash? "Talk about déjà vu." Muttered, a hoarse voice.

Edward let out an empty chuckle. "You don't know the half of it. I am glad you decided to stalk me though. I have missed you so much. Just ask Emmett, well you can when he forgives me."

"Forgives you for what?"

"We've fallen out." Edward muttered, feeling like he was back in playground squabbles. "I've not been the easiest person to get along with the last couple of weeks. I've been drinking, a lot, and getting into bar fights." Bella turned in his arms and stroked above his eyebrow where his stitches were. "He has a lot going on in his life and I was just making things worse. My mom is barely speaking to me too. She thinks that I am going through my teenage rebel stage a decade too late."

"What is up with Emmett?"

"He and Rosie are having problems. They have been trying for a baby for over three years, but Rosie kept having miscarriages." He watched Bella run her hands over the slight bump as if to protect it. "They found out two weeks ago that Rosie has a condition were she can't carry a baby to term, her body just rejects it."

"That has to be tough, Rosalie must not know what to think. Are they speaking to anyone, fertility people or counsellors?" Edward watched in wonder at Bella's concern for his sister-in-law, a woman she had never met.

"No, from what mom said, Rosalie has sunk into a depression, and Em is out of his mind with worry. He doesn't know what to do. Rosie is blaming herself, saying she is defective, while Em is dancing around eggshells for her. He doesn't do crying women." Edward stared as Bella's hands continued to move over her bump. "Can I?"

Edward motioned at her hands. She nodded. Slowly, Edward slid his hands down her arms until they were over her own. Bella withdrew her hands and Edward's slightly cold ones sat still on top of her. Unhurriedly, he moved them around the concave outline of the bump.

"I'm fourteen weeks and the baby is about this long." She held up her fingers about four inches apart.

"If it's so small, why do you have a bump already?"

"It's all the amniotic fluid. It is kinda like an airbag for the baby hence the bump. I like it, Alice loves it. Me showing means that she gets to go shopping for clothes with elasticised waists." She flicked the waistline of her black suit pants she had slept in. "I have a scan coming up in two Saturdays; I'll get a better idea of how big he is then."

"He?" Edward asked, his hands stilling.

"Oh, Alice is convinced it is a boy. She's even started to look at boy names. We won't find out until my twenty week scan."

"I've missed so much, haven't I? Can I come? To your next scan I mean?"

Bella turned fully in Edwards embrace, almost straddling him. "Does this mean…?"

"Can we give this another try? Just no secrets, no trying to protect feelings or thinking we know what is best for each other. Just us, together."

Bella only felt the tears tracking down her face when Edward's thumbs slowly rubbed them away. "You mean that?"

He nodded. Bella threw her arms around Edward, pulling him closer to her. He could feel her bump pressing into him, a warm fuzzy feeling flooded through him. It felt like home.

~*-*~

**Saturday March 6, 2010 – 15 Weeks**

Bella growled in frustration at her closet, or lack of. Though it was true, her wardrobe had ballooned in quantity since Alice had moved back to New York, nothing seemed right for tonight. Tonight was important. Tonight, Edward was taking her on their first date since they had sorted everything out and became a couple again. It had to go off without a hitch. Edward was taking her to a new Italian restaurant in Chelsea, aptly named _'Bella Italia_'. Now that her nausea seemed to be slackening off, dinner sounded amazing. Italian had always been one of her favourite types of foods. A three-week trip to Italy during her sophomore summer break had been her only splurge into the money that Charlie had left her in his will. Well, aside from the down payment on her house, if that could be considered a splurge.

Bella was driving into the city and leaving her car at Edward's apartment. They would then catch a cab together to the restaurant. Edward had purposely asked her to pack an overnight bag and every time she looked at the bag, butterflies would take off around her tummy. Before their little 'bump' in the road, as they were now calling it, sleeping over was second nature. They had tried sleeping apart, but after a few nights to Bella waking to a knocking door, Edward dishevelled and claiming he couldn't sleep without her, they had an unspoken agreement not to sleep apart. Now she was filled with trepidation and hidden thoughts of 'would tonight be the night'? Though they had an agreement not to sleep apart any longer, she knew the significance of Edward purposely asking her to pack the bag. Undeclared rules had been set; guidelines seemed in place regarding their sexual intimacy. Bella wasn't complaining, she would wait forever for Edward to be ready. The structure made them more secure together, communication was easier, freer between them. That was enough for Bella.

She once again dove into her closet, fishing through what wasn't thrown on her bed. Finally she pulled out a garment bag from near the back of her closet. 'KAREN MILLER' was written across the front. She pulled the zip of the cover down to reveal a dark purple sweater dress. It felt soft to the touch, the cashmere like silk over her fingertips. Pulling it free from the protector, she held it in front of her. The cowl neckline was flattering of her swollen cleavage. The dress wasn't too clingy to her frame so it wouldn't emphasis her ever-increasing bump.

Edward seemed comfortable with her growing curves. On more than one occasion he had wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his hands on the top of her protrusion. He had also recently taken to calling her bump 'Bob'. Edward more than agreed with Alice's prediction, it was going to be a boy. Edward had muttered something about how her bump was lying. Bella had tried to get him to elaborate, but he had distracted her with tickles. Bella smiled at her semi naked form in the mirror before pulling the dress over her head.

The plan for the night was seduction. The sexual tension that had been building since before they had broken up was still ever present. In fact, if anything, it had grown. It always seemed that Edward needed to touch her, reassured that she was still there. The gentle brushing of his fingertips over the top of her hands as they cooked together. His foot nudging hers as Edward sat at the desk next to her draft board. She would catch his eye and smile, showing she felt it too. Bella was noticing a pattern; they would fall asleep apart, confined to their half's of whomever's bed they were in. Bella would wake to find herself cocooned in Edward's arms, his legs wrapped around hers. If she tried to move, he gripped her tighter still. It was proving to be a problem given her current insatiable need to pee. A few whispered words of reassurance got him to relax enough in his sleep that he let her go. She usually would return to find him cuddling her pillow.

Alice had agreed to take Bella on a shopping trip for lingerie, knowing whom she was trying to show off to. Bella knew her sister was trying to make amends and shopping was a very Alice way of showing Bella that she was changing her attitude towards Edward. Together they settled for a black demi cup bra with a pink ribbon interwoven in the lace, a bow hiding where it clasped at the front for easier breast access. Edward would enjoy that, she was sure. It came with a matching garter belt and Bella had happily won the argument of lacy, black boy shorts over a barely-there thong. She was beginning to develop body issues as her body grew, and the boy shorts had made her feel less exposed. The fishnet stockings were most definitely helping her channel her inner, usually dormant yet awakened, sex-goddess.

The purple dress looked fantastic on her. It clung to her closely, yet her small bump didn't look like the whale it was making her feel. Her hair, for once, was cooperating. It hung in large curls to her mid-back, the front sections pulled back off her face and fastened at the back of her head. She glanced at her alarm clock out of the corner of her eye. Bella was running late. Traffic would be murder. Her cool demeanour flew out of the window as she grabbed the overnight bag and ran down the stairs, catching herself as she stumbled forward slightly in her heels.

Traffic was lighter than she expected coming into the city. Bella pulled into Edward's apartment's underground parking only ten minutes late. The butterflies grew in number, fluttering around and building her nerves. She leaned against the hand rail in the elevator and took a deep, calming breath. Building the anticipation was all well and good, but it wasn't productive when it was built to the point where trepidation caused anxiety. Instead she closed her eyes and imagined a happy place, one that didn't involve Edward. Seeing his face behind her eyes made the nerves worse.

Finally, the elevator stopped at his floor as she made her way out and knocked on his door. The door opened and her jaw dropped. Bella had thought she had seen Edward at his sexiest. Edward in his Tom Ford suit had stirred the lust in her body on more than one occasion. The man that stood in front her was nothing short of stunning. It was not the black pants or the deep grey shirt that hugged his body, hinting at the lithe build beneath, that he wore. It was his air. Before her stood a man who seemed freer, he stood straight like a weight had been finally lifted from him. As she stood before him, looking him up and down, he reached to grab the bag from her hands. Still she didn't move.

"See something you like?" He cocked an eyebrow at her, a smug smile on his face. He flicked his black tie with his free hand. "Not sure if I want to wear a tie or not, but you seem to like it." He said, smile firmly rooted to his face. He had her and he knew it.

Bella liked this cocky Edward, but she couldn't have him getting the upper hand. Instead she stepped into the apartment and took a step closer to her Adonis. She moved her hands up to where the tie met and pulled it until both sides of the tie were loose before whipping one end from his collar in a quick tug. After the tie was free and hanging in her hand, she unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt before smoothing her hands down his chest.

"That's better." Her sex goddess high fived her as she wound the tie around her hand in Edward's eye line, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped deeply. She smiled at him in victory before moving further into the apartment.

Edward moved to put her bag in his bedroom before reappearing, his velvet blazer in his hands.

"Right, we should get going. Um...we are going to be late."

Bella chuckled to herself at managing to unsettle him so much. "Whatever you say, Edward." She took his hand, interlacing her fingers with his as they left the apartment.

The game of seduction had begun.

~*-*~

_Bella Italia_was a gem of a restaurant, hidden away on 23rd Street. From the outside, it didn't look like much from the outside; plain painted exterior with a small wooden door as the entrance to the interior. Some people would have thought it was just being chic and understated, but after stepping inside you knew the exterior was a lack of pretense that was so common to the eateries of Manhattan. They had been welcomed into the low lit restaurant by a smiling hostess that admired Edward subtlety before looking back at Bella with a look that screamed _lucky bitch_ before putting her hostess smile back in place. Bella chuckled lightly to herself. She would never get used to the attention that Edward seemed so unaware of.

The restaurant was small; seating no more than thirty people. The hostess sat them at a booth, close to an area that looked like a stage with a piano and dance floor. They sat opposite each other, catching glances over the top of the leather bound menus. He grasped at her hand, rubbing slow circles with his thumb on her palm, as they stared at each other across the table. They were interrupted by a waiter, standing ready to take their order.

"I'll have seafood paella and a bottle of your 2004 Chianti..." He paused and looked at Bella. "Actually, scrap the bottle and we'll have soda instead."

"He will have a small carafe of the 2004 Castello di Querceto Chianti Classico. I will have the smoked salmon carbonara and a sparkling apple juice."The waiter nodded and left them. "Just because I am pregnant, doesn't mean you can't drink alcohol, Edward."

"I know I was just...never mind. Why are you having the smoked salmon? I thought it was bad for pregnant women to eat refrigerated seafood."

Bella looked at Edward quizzically. "It's cooked in the dish and that more applies to seafood and raw fish due to the high level of bacteria." Edward nodded his head in genuine interest. "Where are you getting this pregnancy info from?"

Edward bashfully looked down at the table before mumbling a jumbled response.

"What was that? I didn't catch it with all the mumbling. Use your words."

Edward glared at her playfully before lowering his eyes. "I bought a book."

"A book?"

"_What to Expect When You are Expecting_. They call it the bible of pregnancy books."

Bella giggled. "You do realise that is for pregnant women, right?"

"Of course. I also bought the version for daddies." He could see Bella pulling away from him. "I realise this is Jasper and Alice's baby. I know that, but no one in my family, outside of my mom, has had children and I wanted to understand what you are going through. Didn't you know, books have all the answers?"

Bella pulled Edward's hand to her lips and kissed it. "You are so sweet." She kissed his hand again. Her heart was singing at his confession. Edward's interest in her pregnancy signalled to her that he was in this for the long term. He wanted to be there throughout all of it and he was preparing for it. "You know, you can always ask me about it. This little bub is my second so I am an old hand."

"I just wanted to be there for you on this."

x-x-x-x

Bella watched Edward across the table, his face open and easy to read for once. He seemed...content.

"So tell me something not a lot of people know about you." Edward asked.

Bella paused, placing her glass on the table. They had talked a lot about their pasts already so there wasn't much Edward didn't know about her.

"Um...I used to go to camp every year. During the summer, Charlie would worry about me being alone so much. I didn't have many close friends, so the summers were kind of lonely for me. I started going when I was about ten. Alice used to spend summers in Wisconsin with her grandparents.

"We used to do things like going swimming in the lake or going kayaking. We even did team building activities like building rafts out of plastic drums." She watched Edward's face contort in confusion. "I know, I know. Normally it's the type of thing I would hate, but it was good fun. Me and the girls in my dorm were so mischievous though."

Edward's eyes sparkled with laugher. "I can't imagine you ever being mischievous."

"Oh, I have my moments. There was this one time..."

"At band camp?" Edward chuckled.

"Hardly. Can you see me walking _while_ playing an instrument? I would trip and take the whole band out with me."

"True story." Edward chuckled as he struggled to contain his laughter.

"Bella laughed, softly swatting at his hand resting on the table. "We went to war with another girl's dorm. Lauren had been picking on me since the day I arrived and one year she was particularly vicious, so we decided to get revenge. One too many viewings of the '_Parent Trap_' later and we had covered their dorm in silly string, shaving foam and buckets of water suspended above doors. Needless to say, we were caught after the traps went off and I was sent home. I went back the next year and Lauren wasn't there."

"Wow, Bella, you surprise me. I didn't think you had it in you."

"I went back as a counsellor myself in the summer after my freshman year at college. I used to wake my girls up with bagpipes. One of the older campers used to play them, so I bribed him with PSP access to help me out. College took up too much of my time after that, so I had to give camp up."

Edward stared at Bella across the table. For some reason he couldn't shake the image of sexy counsellor Bella, all beige combat shorts and ordering him around with a whistle. That was a Bella he wanted to get to know. He became aware of Bella staring at him. Edward cleared his throat and shifted in his seat to adjust his trousers. The effect Bella had on him was undeniable. He couldn't wait to get her home.

x-x-x-x

Food had been served and the meal was delicious. Not as delicious as the man sitting opposite her, but she wasn't sure anything could be. Bella had tried a few of the seduction moves that Alice had offered up on their shopping trip. Moaning with bites of her food, looking up at him through her lashes – which was harder to pull off than it sounded – and throwing him sexy smiles, which she feared were coming off more like grimaces. So far it seemed to be having little effect on him. There was only one move left and then she was giving up. Bella Swan was obviously not programmed to seduce. She ran her tongue around a spoonful of sorbet, catching Edward's attention. She watched as his eyes darkened, his attention completely on her. Slowly she lifted her foot, running it up his calf. His wine glass paused, midway to his mouth for a drink. His jaw tensed and his body became as still as a statue. Bella moved her foot higher, stalling as Edward grabbed her foot with one hand and forcefully placed his wine glass back on the table with the other.

"Bella." He growled, menacingly.

Bella didn't move, startled by the turn in events. Edward pushed her foot back down, away from his body before moving from the booth. He turned his back away from her and the other patrons of the restaurant, his body heaving as he took in deep breaths. Bella fiddled with her napkin, waiting for him to turn back to her. Had she gone too far? Misread the signals he had been giving her? Finally, after what seemed like hours, he turned back to her, holding out his hand.

"Would you care to dance?"

Bella shook herself from her daze to realise that, on the small stage she noted earlier, a man now sat at the piano while another was sitting in a chair with an acoustic guitar. Bella nodded as the piano began another intro.

Edward pulled her to the dance floor to join only one other couple that seemed to be dancing in their own world.

"Edward...I can't...I mean, I don't dance. You've seen me. Two left feet and no coordination."

"It's all in the leading, my Bella. You _do_ trust me, don't you?" Edward's cocky grin was back but the darkened look in his eyes hadn't dissipated.

"Of course."

Edward slid his leg in between Bella's, his hand on hip and the other holding her hand up almost reverently. Gently he pushed Bella to move, keeping the steps simple and slow. When he was sure Bella had the steps he leaned in closely, his breath tickling her ear lobe.

"I do believe you have been trying to seduce me, Miss Swan."Bella stopped dead. Edward chuckled huskily at the look on her face. "Believe me when I say, there is no need for it."

He pulled her sharply to him. To the outside world it would look like a lover's embrace. "Feel what you do to me, Miss Swan. What you have been doing to me since the first time we met."

Edward rolled his hips slightly so Bella could feel his hardness press against her. Her eyes rolled back and her lids closed as she took a shuddering breath. She could feel him move closer to her, his hardness pushing harder against her pubic bone.

"I wonder just how far that irresistible blush of yours goes, Miss Swan. All the way to your..." He took a long drink of her scent, inhaling deeply "core?"

He watched, satisfied, as Bella struggled to get herself together.

"I think it's about time we got the check, don't you, Miss Swan?"

Edward moved away from her, and Bella found herself unable to move. The last week or so, her hormones had been crazy. She had found herself in a constant state of horniness. It was like being sixteen again. The depression of her break-up with Edward had kept the most overwhelming feelings at bay but now that he was back with her, they were overpowering her.

This was one signal from Edward she wasn't misreading. He was ready.

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**OMG!!! How could i stop it there? Well i didn't...at first but then i cut it cos i needed to focus and such a conjointed chapter wasn't helping me focus!**

**Rec for this week is a WIP: Such Great Heights by SydneyAlice...i'm not just reading this because it has Sydney in the name! Its an original nanny story, kinda. I just love the writing style and the kid in this one is a sweetie and a half. Kudos to SydneyAlice to creating an original character with depth and mean to a story...its rare!**


	13. Great Expectations

**I have found my muse...Glenn Close...i wrote this while watching 'Home'...her voice is inspiring!!!**

**Three guess whats in this chapter and the first two don't count...on with the show.**

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**Chapter 13 – Great Expectations**

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The cab ride back to Edward's apartment had been torture. Heated kisses that couldn't go deep enough. She had almost straddled him at one point, trying to get as close as she could to him. Eventually the cab driver cleared his throat and told them it would cost them extra if they wanted to get it on in the back of his car. Bella retreated back to her side of the seat, her face beetroot red in embarrassment. Edward on the other hand, had chuckled at her response before putting his arm around her and pulling her close to him so she could hide in his embrace.

Bella had tried again in the elevator but stopped as soon as Edward pointed out there were security cameras and Marcus watched the screens. All the stopping and starting was driving Bella nuts, more so as Edward seemed completely calm and collected. Though her suspicions at his demeanour were scuppered as she watched him adjust his pants a couple of times as she moved away from him. He was just as turned on as she was.

After what felt like hours, they finally made it into his apartment. In the dimmed light of Edward's apartment, it came to Bella how monumental this was between them. This meant that Edward had finally let go of his past relationship, trusted her enough that she wouldn't hurt him in the same way. He was giving himself to her. The thoughts continued to race through her head as Edward removed her coat and hung it in the closet by the door with his blazer. She came back to the situation with enough sense to reach down and remove her boots.

The anticipation was humming like electricity in the air. They stood a step apart, drinking each other in. Edward's forest-green eyes never wavered from her. Bella reached up and brushed a piece of hair away that had fallen into his line of sight. It broke the spell. Edward grasped her hand in his and led her gently though the house. Bella knew where they were going; it was a familiar route to her. The blinds in his room were open, the moonlight from a full moon flooding the room in silver beams.

Edward pulled her softly into his arms, one hand moving around her waist, the other hand moving up to cup her face. His eyes met hers briefly, as he dipped his head towards her face, the tip of his nose barely skimming her skin as he inhaled her scent. Her nerve endings prickled as the softest touch whispered across her cheek, tracking down to her jaw. There was no real pressure from his touch, any friction or resistance from his vague contact. He placed a feather light kiss at her jaw, so soft she questioned herself as to if he had really kissed her at all or had her nerve endings exploded from his lips on her skin alone. He shifted his track back up her left cheek, still only his nose on her skin, towards her earlobe. Bella stood, her hands fisted by her side as she tried to concentrate on bringing her heartbeat under control. She was sure he could hear it as it thumped double time behind her ribs. His nose circuited her upper earlobe as his lips grazed her ear shell.

"Tell me to stop now if this isn't want you want." He murmured in her ear.

She let out a gasp, the vibrations from his voice going straight to her centre as she gripped his shoulders for support. "God, no, please don't stop."

Edward chuckled as she felt him smile cockily against her ear. "It's just the start, baby."

He pulled back and studied her face. Her face was flushed in arousal and he swore he could feel her heartbeat, even across the small gap that was still between them. Edward captured her mouth with his. As their tongues duelled for dominance, Edward's hands grasped at the sides of Bella's dress. A dress that had given him a hard on from the moment that he opened the front door of his apartment. The dress scrunched in his hands as he gathered the fabric, the hem of the dress crept up Bella's thighs. His fingertips brushed lightly over the skin at the top of her fishnet stockings. She could feel the roughness of his fingertips against her hypersensitive skin, proof of an earlier admission to playing the guitar. The roughness grounded her to him, to what they were doing and why they were there. His fingers lightly brushed over the metal clasps of her garter belt. A shudder ran through him.

"Are you cold, Edward?" Bella asked, pulling away from him briefly. He could see a coy smile playing on her lips.

He loved Bold Bella. He had caught glimpses of her throughout the night and he was glad she didn't retreat at the intensifying intimacy. Edward smirked back, pulling her close, roughly. It took all he had not to run himself against her like a dog in heat.

"Trust me. There is no way I can be cold right now."

Bella gasped and Edward took advantage. He plundered her mouth, his tongue tasting her before claiming her. Finally he seemed to have the dress completely up to her waist. He wasted no time in breaking their kiss and pulling the dress over her head, throwing it into the far reaches of the room. Edward stumbled back slightly at the sight before him.

"Jesus, Bella." Bella couldn't help but high-five her inner sex goddess on a job well done. "Do you...what...fuck." He settled on, pulling the last letter out in a groan.

Bella couldn't help but smile. Edward was running his hands through his already Bella-induced, dishevelled hair, at a loss for words.

"See something you like, Edward?" Bella teased. She pulled the pink ribbons at the front of her bra, unhurriedly, to reveal the forward facing clasps.

Edward managed to pull his eyes from her breasts and back to her face. Who would have thought? Edward Cullen was a boob man. Correction; he was a Bella-Boob man. In one short step, Edward was standing close to her, his hands cupping her bra-clad breasts. Torturously, he ran his thumbs over the lace of the bra where her nipples would be. The roughened texture of the lace created a friction over her nerve-heightened nipples, puckering them into peaks, straining through the thin fabric of the bra.

"Maybe next time, not now." Edward mumbled to himself under his breath as he brushed his lips over where his thumbs had been.

Without another word, Edward reached forward and unclasped her bra, baring her engorged breasts to him. His eyes widened in arousal as he reached forward and stroked his finger down her creamy, silky skin. Bella let loose a gasp.

"What?" Edward exclaimed, pulling his finger away. "Did I hurt you? I know women..."

Bella huffed in frustration. "No, they're not sore. If feels so good." She moaned out.

Bella, her hands in his hair, guided him to her chest. Slowly, Edward curled his tongue around her swollen, peaked nipple before tugging it into his mouth. Bella's nails dug into his scalp, tugging on his hair. The pain from her tugs was delicious.

"Edward." Bella panted as he tweaked her other nipples between his fingers.

There was a delicate taste of a salty scent on her skin, his tongue lapping at it like a man in the desert. The sweat of their aroused state creating a thin sheen on their skin. Edward could feel Edward clawing at his shirt. She pulled away briefly.

"Do you like this shirt?"

"It's a shirt?" Edward replied, it coming out more as an unsure question.

Bella smiled quickly before grasping the shirt and pulling it apart sharply. Buttons flew out in every direction. The sound of the ripping threads and popping buttons spurned Bella on as she reached for his belt, undoing the binding to his pants. Edward, powerless, could do little more than stand there. A dominant Bella had him stunned. The sound of the metal teeth of his zipper was drowned out by a feral moan from Edward as Bella 'accidently' brushed his straining cock. She palmed him deliberately, causing his hips to buck uncontrollably as she pushed his pants over his delicious hipbones and allowing them to fall free of his legs, pooling at his feet. In moments, Edward was naked down to his boxers.

Edward stepped back, eye-fucking Bella as she stood in nothing but the most tempting black boy shorts, a garter belt and an amazing pair of black 'fuck me' boots. As he studied her, Bella blushed a deep rouge.

"I was right." Edward muttered, running the tip of his tongue over his parched lips.

"About what?" Bella's voice was heavy with concern and self-consciousness.

"About how far..." he looked her up and down, "south that blush of yours goes."

Bella arms flew across her breast and small bump.

Edward reached out, grasping her arms half way to her body. "Don't hide from me. You have no idea how stunningly beautiful you are."

His hands ran down her arms as he lowered himself to his knees. She was a vision in front of him. He ran his hands over Bob, placing a kiss over her navel. She sighed as his tongue dipped into the hollow as if licking the last of an ice cream from the bottom of the cone. His tongue told of incredible things to come. Slowly he edged the zip of each of her knee high boots down. As he slipped them from her feet, the change in height brought the top of her bump level with his lips.

It felt like it should be wrong, lusting after a woman who was carrying a child that wasn't his. He couldn't help the strength of the erotic feelings that flooded his every time he felt her bump against him. The protrusion of Bella's stomach was beyond sexy. The thought of her carrying a life inside of her turned him on even more, regardless of its parentage. A light kiss to the top of Bob had Bella trembling and he hadn't even really touched her...yet.

Slowly his hands resumed their journey up her thighs. His hands hesitated until Bella's moved over his, encouraging his hands to the clips holding her stockings up. They snapped away from her leg, then Edward pulled each leg out, fingertips ghosting over her skin leaving a trail of fire as he pulled her stockings from her legs.

The straps of Bella's garter belt brushed against her thighs as Edward ran his fingers over the waistband of her boy shorts, from one hip to the other. Tracing the lines of her lingerie, his fingers caressed the skin down the crease of her leg where it met her torso. Shivers ran down her body, building at the one place she was on the verge of begging him to touch.

"Edward, please..." She arched into his touch as he played with the seam of her shorts at the edge of her core, barely slipping below the surface. "Jesus, just touch me."

His fingers finally slid under the material. Bella moaned in satisfaction as her fingers found purchase in Edward's hair; her favourite place for her hands to be...so far. "Finally!" She whispered.

Two fingers stroked between her pussy lips, gathering the moisture that was flooding from her.

"Holy hell, Bella. You're so wet."

"Only for you, Edward. Only for you."

He removed his fingers, Bella whimpering at the loss, and licked Bella's juices from his digits as he kept her eye contact. Gently he pushed her backwards, the back of her knees hitting the bed, forcing her to sit down on the comforter.

Edward stalked towards her on his knees. His eyes were dark, dangerous, with lust. A jolt of luscious fear ran through her body, spiking her nerve endings. Her whole body was now in tune with every move Edward made. He ran his hand up her legs, caressing behind her knees.

"These," he slid his index fingers under the top of her boy shorts, "have to come off. Now!" He hooked his fingers into the fabric and pulled the silky and lacy shorts teasingly slowly down her legs.

"Please, Edward." Her hands flew to his, trying to push them faster but Edward simply stopped completely. "Oh, for fuck's sake, Edward. Please." Bella gasped.

Edward growled, her cursing making him harder, if that was even possible. There was so much blood in his cock he vaguely wondered what was left in his body for his heart to pump.

A feeling she had long forgotten but was welcoming back with open arms flew through and straight to between her legs. Unconsciously she rubbed her legs together, desperate for some kind of friction, some kind of relief.

Edward chuckled, his voice low and hoarse. "Anxious are we sweetheart?"

"Stop teasing me," Bella panted.

He chuckled again. "Consider this payback for your earlier teasing."

Bella harrumphed, accepting defeat. Edward continued to chuckle but started to peel her underwear finally away from her body. The sight before him almost made him come on the spot. Bella's obvious arousal glistened on her outer lips, her swollen clit emerging from the small area of air that remained. He pushed her knees apart, the scent of her excitement hitting him between the eyes as her pussy came fully into his view.

"Bella," Edward sighed, almost reverently.

He moved forward between her legs until he was mere feet from her body. While keeping his eyes on her, he slowly ran two fingers up her entire slit, rubbing the nub of her clit between his fingers. Bella's hands gripped the comforter for dear life. A rush of her juices coated Edward's fingers further. He had to hold himself back or he was going to push her into the bed and pound into her. Now was not the time. Right now, all he wanted to do was worship her, please her. Love her?

Thoughts momentary distracted him as his fingers retraced their previous trail down her inner lips. He was brought back to the here and now by Bella's nails gripping his forearms.

Inch by inch, his fingers crept into her pussy. God, she was so warm and wet for him. Bella's nails dug in further. The pain thrilled him. The mewls and gasps undid his control. Two fingers moved in and out of her faster, his other hand keeping her legs spread. Without a moment's hesitation, he dove in. His tongue licked her slit where his fingers had been. She tasted as good as she smelled. A tangy mix of berries and pure Bella. Beyond anything he had ever tasted before. Edward quickly found her clit, drawing it deep into his mouth.

Bella flew backwards landing on her elbows after her arms refused to support her. She continued to watch him as he lapped at her with his magic mouth. Oh, his mouth. The pleasure shot through her as he sucked her clit, each pass stronger than the last. The heat, building just above her core, coiling and twisting so unbearably tight. A divine pleasure that made her squirm. A squeal let loose from her mouth as his fingers curled upwards inside of her, hitting that sweet spot over and over again. Finally she found her voice, stolen away by the Adonis between her legs, kneeling to her pleasure.

"Fuck. Edward. Oh God, I'm coming. I'm..."

A moan vibrated from Edward, over her clit as he bit down. Not hard enough to cause pain. She felt the coil snap. Her arms gave way and she crashed to the bed. Stars swimming in her eyes. Edward pulled his fingers from her, but unrelentingly sucked her overly sensitive clit as she rode out the last of her orgasm.

The stars faded from Bella's vision and she felt Edward move up her body, between her legs, until she felt his rock hard cock against her clit. She bucked up into him. Gently he pushed her backwards, moving with her, until her back rested against the soft down pillows.

"Bella," Edward whispered in the still of the room. "I need you now. I can't..." He scrunched his eyes closed trying to gain control of himself. His face contorting in almost pain. "Are you sure? I'm not sure I can stop."

Bella met his lips in a furious, fast kiss in answer. She drew back, gasping for air. "I need to feel you. Make love to me, Edward."

Her hand came up his chest moving over his collarbone to his cheek, caressing it softly as she held his gaze, a content smile on her face. Breaths were hard, chests heaving in anticipation as she felt his tip at her dripping entrance. Their gazes never wavered as his length slipped easily into her, both moaning in satisfaction at the contact. Edward's eyes rolled back into his head, her tight warmth around him. His dick had never felt so at home. Bella gasped at how he filled her so completely. She could feel each and every uncovered ridge of him, the flutterings as he twitched inside her. They lingered as she adjusted to him, having not been stretched so far in so long. Edward knew he needed a moment to bring himself back into line. His climax was waiting in the wings, caged for now but begging for release.

Bella stroked the muscles that had tensed in his arm and neck, his control balancing on a knife's edge. One hand held Bella to the bed at one hip, begging her not to move. If she did he could not be responsible for his actions. He hadn't expected her to be so tight, so encompassing. Once he was sure he was back in control he pulled himself out again and began to move into her. His body moved in fluid strokes, feeling her hips hit his as he moved into her. Slowly Bella began to move her hips, quickly finding a rhythm with him, pulling him deeper. The friction was delicious. Her tiny whimpers and the moans of his name passing her lips made him harder, if possible, and spurned him on. Their bodies met in perfect harmony as their need for release coiled within them. Reaching for her calf, he moved his hand up to the crook of her knee and pulled it up and over his hip. She knew what he was trying to do and brought her other leg up. As Edward pushed back in to the hilt, it was deeper, further than ever before. Her back arched off the bed as she half screamed, half moaned in sheer ecstasy. Thrust after thrust he moved into her.

It wasn't enough. Bella needed deeper, harder. She wasn't close enough to him; she doubted if she ever would be even if she crawled inside of him. Her legs hitched further round his hips, never missing a beat of their rhythm. The heels of her feet dug firmly into his ass, pushing him deeper.

"Fuck, Bella. You feel so fucking good."

He broke their pace to shift himself so he could slide an arm under her back and pull her forcibly upwards. With his free hand, he grabbed a pillow, putting it under her lower back to support her. He pounded back into her, the new angle pulling him deeper into her than before. With each thrust their sweat-drenched bodies slid together, Edward hitting her wall over and over again. Her back arched from the bed, driving her head into the remaining pillows. A guttural moan pushed from her throat.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she chanted, her breaths no more than a hoarse whisper.

Edward leaned over her, putting his lips to her. Time after time, his pubic bone brushed over her aching clit.

"Bella!" Edward growled as her own pubic bone rubbed the length of his cock with every plunge.

"Edward, God, I'm ..." She lost the power of speech. "I'm gonna." She closed her eyes, the barrage on her senses too much for her to handle.

Before it could register, Edward could feel her muscles starting to grip him inside her and her legs shuddering, muscles trembling in the effort to hang on. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth in distraction, trying to prolong the feeling of utter completeness for as long as possible.

"Open your eyes, Bella. I wanna see you."

Bella managed to keep her eyes open. The sensory overload heightened her pleasure. Edward's face was crumpled in concentration. He was holding back, just. Bella could feel her stomach tightening, nerve endings sang and all she could feel was Edward's sweaty body against here, his grunts filling her ears.

It was all too much. The heat building consumed her. It burnt through her body, coursing through her veins.

"I can't hold on, Edward." You have to let go too."

His face contorted further, almost with a look of agony as he fought against his own tide and to keep his eyes open. "Fuck!" He took a shuddering breath. "Ladies first." He managed a grimacing smirk.

He reached between them, her skin slick with their fluids. Fingertips found their treasure. He flicked her inflamed clit, oh, so sensitive from his early touches, and rubbed it. Once. Twice. Before he felt her pussy walls clamp down on him. Her short fingernails clawed at his skin, pulling his own orgasm from him.

Edward's mouth lowered to Bella's heaving chest, his teeth sinking easily into milky skin. Her walls clamped tighter around his cock. The overwhelming pleasure claimed him to the point of pain. A pain he would gladly take over and over again.

"Let go. Come for me." Edward urged.

Her eyes closed and her mouth opened in a silent scream as her muscles contracted around him and her back left the bed, all control gone. That was all he needed: Her face of pure abandonment and utmost pleasure pushed him over the edge as he joined her, spiralling downward in a rush like no other. He rested his head in the crook of her shoulder, their breaths coming in pants as his thrusts slowed. Edward looked down as where his hands rested on her hips, sure his fingertips and thumbs would leave bruises in the morning. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but she didn't seem to notice any pain. Instead, she lay under him, in the pillows on Edward's side of the bed, her brown hair flared around her head like a solar flare, strands plastered to her forehead in the sweat. Edward was sure he had never seen someone look so beautiful.

"Are you okay?" Edward managed between pants. Bella nodded. "Is he okay?" Edward asked, caressing Bob.

"Bumpy is fine. I am so much better than fine. That was..."

Edward chuckled against her skin as he placed small kisses on her now closed eyelids.

Tiredness clawed gently at Bella as she felt him slip out of her and walk away to clean himself up. Through the haze of the post-orgasmic buzz and encroaching sleep, she tried to remember a time when she had felt so happy, but it had been too long and there was not enough energy in her to try harder to remember. Before she could put her brain properly in gear, Edward came back, pulled the cover of the bed back and motioned for her to get in. He climbed in beside her, gathering her up in his arms and throwing a leg over her to pull her as close as possible to him. His warm body comforted her, his already semi-hard member resting against the back of her inner thigh. She knew all it would take would be a slight shift of her hips and he could be inside her again, buried deep in her warmth. As desperate as she was for a second round, there was no way she could stave off sleep long enough for it as the last veils of consciousness claimed her.

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**Well there you have it. My first lemon and boy am i nervous as hell about this. **

**My hugest, offering up first born, thanks to my beta Tina72899 who made me rewrite this (in an indirect way - i think she's sneaky). The version you got was steamy (?) compared the first version that read like a car manual on how to change spark plugs...Karma Sutra i ain't. **

**I am also making an AUTHOR rec - cos i can't pick just one of her awesome stories - check out 107yearoldvirgin (awesome penname too)**

**So what did you guys think? Too much, not enought, boring as sin? I'll be off with a bottle of Tequila in a corner until you guys hit the green button and let me know. No coming out of hiding until i know how i did!**


	14. I Fell Asleep Amid the Flowers

**First thing is first - i am over 10,000 hits...you guys ROCK MY WORLD. I get it now though, i feed you lemons and you come in droves...we're a simple, dirty-minded, lot huh!  
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**Apology for the delated update - I was in Perth (otherside of Australia from my current home) over the week and weekend and my Nexus phone is epic (and i would marry it if legal) but it struggled to let me edit on FF! Anyhoo  
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Chapter 14 – I Fell Asleep Amid the Flowers**

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Sunday March 7, 2010 – 15 Weeks**

"Bella?" A voice whispered, breaking through her sleepy haze.

It was such a blissful sleep. Such nice dreams. Bella had dreamed of romantic dinners, Edward's caressing hands on her body, worshipping her like she was a goddess.

"Bellllllaaa?" The voice whispered slightly louder.

Slowly light filtered through Bella's eyelids as she surrendered the vestures of sleep to the rising sleep. Her eyelids slid open. Instead of the harsh light of morning, she was greeted by stunning apple eyes hovering above her.

"It wasn't a dream?"

Edward looked down at her, stunning below him. Her sleep-heavy eyes sparkled in the morning light coming in the windows that they had been too preoccupied to close the night before. Her hair was haloed around her head like spilt molasses. God, she was a sight to behold, and now she was all his. Last night had been, dare he say, magical. A cliché as it sounded, it had been. From the moment he had seen Bella in that purple dress, to the look of overwhelming pleasure as she came around his cock. All of it magical.

Edward had been unable to help himself, waking Bella the way he had. He had watched her sleep for the last thirty minutes, muttering inarticulate words, his name falling from her lips in faint, lost whispers. Whispers full of lust and promise. He rested above her, his weight supported on his hands that were firmly by her ears. Mindful, always, of the growing bump. To say it was a shock to him that Bella was pregnant had been an understatement. Now he had grown rather attached to her growing stomach.

The woman he lo...was in a relationship with...was pregnant and he couldn't help the smile every time he thought of watching her belly swell. Bella had warned him that he couldn't become attached to the baby growing in her, that it wasn't theirs; it wasn't even hers. Edward had tried to justify his feelings of bonding to her because at the end of the day, the baby would be Bella's niece or nephew and there for part of their lives. Also, in his mind, Edward was considering this a trial run for when Bella would carry their child. There was no denying it: Edward was falling so in love with Bella, there was no way back for him.

"No Bella, there was no dream. It really happened."

He pressed his lips to hers, intending a brief peck on her lips. Instead, Bella's hand crept up between them and snaked its way up over his shoulder. She gripped him behind the neck, pulling him back to her. Their kiss deepened. Edward sunk lower until he could feel the convex rise of her stomach pressing lightly against him. His kisses traced her jaw. Wet, open mouthed kisses that made her squirm. Edward's kisses moved to her earlobe, sucking it into his warm, delectable mouth. Lust coursed through her veins, straight to her core. Bella let out a ragged groan. She could feel Edward smirk against her skin, obviously impressed with himself.

Suddenly the warm feeling changed. It wasn't a pleasant feeling that had settled into her stomach. "Oh God, Edward."

"Oh baby. Bella, you taste so good." He growled huskily.

"No! God, Edward."

"I know baby." He whispered against her collarbone, lavishing it with his tongue.

Abruptly he felt Bella's hands against his chest, pushing forcefully against him. "No, Edward. You need to get up **now**!"

She pushed him with another force to push him off to the side, rolling him to his back. Edward watched in utter confusion as Bella rolled off his bed awkwardly before bolting to his en-suite bathroom. The sound of plastic crashing against something was followed by the hollow sounds of Bella vomiting into the toilet.

"Oh shit!" Edward mumbled as he sprung from the bed, half hopping, half staggering to follow Bella as he tried to put on his boxers before appearing in the bathroom. He found Bella half hunched over the toilet bowl, her body racked by dry heaves as nothing more was left in her tummy. Tentatively he crouched down beside her, rubbing a comforting never-ending circle on her back. She had pushed him away in the past, not wanting him to see her like this, but now she took solace in his presence.

"Sorry," she croaked out, signalling that the sickness had passed for now.

Edward filled her a glass water of water before sitting beside her, pulling her gently into his lap. "I thought your medication was meant to stop this."

"It has calmed down the worst of it. Trust me, it was so much worse before I ended up in the emergency room." Edward looked away guiltily, still feeling awful he hadn't seen the signs of her sickness earlier. "Hey," she pulled his chin to get him to meet her eyes. "Not your fault! It will be over soon anyway."

"In most women, morning sickness is gone by week eighteen." Edward quoted, so proud of himself.

"That is it. I am finding that book and burning it. You can keep the one for dads but I want the mother's version burnt to a cinder."

Edward laughed. Bella was referring to his two copies of books from the "What to Expect..." series of baby books. He had both versions of "_What to Expect When You're Expecting_"; one for mommies and one for daddies. He sprouted off random facts about pregnancy to Bella all the time and was forever reading out the list of things under the correct week of her pregnancy, driving her nuts. He was reining his excitement in a little after Bella had exploded at him that he didn't need to tell her because she was feeling them and didn't need a sodding book to tell her. Edward had been taken back before he shot out a passage about hormones and mood swings early in the second trimester.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before the cold of Edward's slate bathroom floor began to filter through his boxers making his left butt cheek numb.

"You feeling steady enough to make it to the bed?"

Bella nodded. Edward stood point guard behind her as she brushed the hairy film on her teeth and morning breath from her mouth before Edward moved in to do the same to his teeth. He led them back to bed. Although being sick had made Bella feel better, she was still exhausted from their exploits the night before. As Bella curled up in Edward's arms again, she fell asleep knowing when she woke again, there would be no doubt in her mind as to the night before being a dream.

~*-*~

"Bellllllla?" A voice called to her. A voice like velvet, achingly familiar.

"Urgh, I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true." Bella thumped her clenched fists down onto the pillow. She looked up to find Edward looking at her, amused but confused. "I knew it was a dream."

"Edward chuckled. "I told you it wasn't a dream. Would you honestly dream about throwing up?"

"When you put it like that. Why did you wake me?" Bella pouted. She had been having a very nice dream about Edward's piano and Edward taking her in positions just not possible in her current condition.

"Your phone was ringing. Who has the ringtone for '_Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves_'?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "That would be Alice. I better ring her back or that thing will be ringing off the hook."

Edward threw Bella's phone onto the comforter beside Bella before leaving the bed completely, whistling Aretha Franklin on his way to his bathroom. Bella watched, her mouth agape as Edward scooped his boxers from the floor and sauntered away. His lithe muscles moved under his skin, flexing as he walked. The ringing of her phone distracted her, fumbling to shut off the annoying ringtone.

"See something you like Miss Swan?" Edward mocked, jokingly from the bathroom doorway, now wearing his boxers.

"Always."

They shared a smile before Bella picked up the phone to Alice.

"Yes, Alice."

"At last. I've been phoning you for over an hour."

"Didn't you get the hint? I was busy."

"Busy with what exactly?" Silence met Alice at the other end. "Bella?"

"Um…"

"You were on a date last night right?" Alice gasped. "Oh, oh, oh! Did the underwear work?"

Bella snorted. "I have no idea what you are talking about Alice." Bella squirmed in the bed, twisting further into the comforter. Talking about her sex life with Alice was never something that Bella was comfortable with.

"I can almost see the blush now, Bella Swan. You so got laid last night." The childish giggle that Bella let loose confirmed it. "Oh my goodness, you _hussy_. I can hear it in your voice. It's all gravely, from screaming no doubt."

"Alice!" Bella exclaimed, just as Edward wandered back in the room from his shower. A white towel was slung loosely around his waist; the v-shaped indent in his hips just hinted at making Bella's heart speed up and heat to pool between her legs. His hair was damp, drops of water running down his neck and over his strong shoulders.

"BELLA!" Alice shouted from the phone. Edward refused to break eye contact with Bella, cocking one eyebrow as Alice continued to shout down the phone at Bella.

"What Alice?"

"Where the hell did you go?"

"I, um…"

"Oh, is he there? Are you still at Edward's?"

"Alice, it is half past, eight in the morning. Only insomniacs and night workers are up at this time on a Sunday. Of course I am still at Edward's." Edward chuckled in amusement as he imagined the conversation to be. "Why were you calling?"

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go shopping for nursery things now that I know what colours to get…."

Bella zoned out on Alice as Edward left the bathroom, towel still in place, and made his way back towards the bed. A man as good looking as Edward should be illegal. He had the power to render her speechless and shut her brain down to goo in ten seconds flat. All that was without the smile that make her panties want to drop in reverence.

"Alice, I can't today." Bella cut Alice off mid-sentence, desperate to get back to Edward who was slowly massaging his way from her feet and up her legs. "Edward and I are going to spend the day together. We need some us time."

"I'm gonna guess by 'us' time, you really mean some 'dirty lovin'' time. Jeeze, Bella, your hoo-haa finally gets some attention and you go dropping all your friends for your man."

Bella would have been offended by comment if it hadn't been for the playful lint in Alice's voice. "Too right, Bitch, you just don't cut it for me anymore."

"I will let you go, this time, but when you surface from the land of sex, I want details, lots and lots of details."

"Bye, Alice." Bella cut Alice off as Edward's magic fingers made their way to the underside of her breasts. "Edward…" Bella moaned out.

~*-*~

**Sunday March 14, 2010 – Week 16

* * *

**

Their day together had been blissful. It had been a while since they had had an uninterrupted day together. On the weekends, Edward liked to play sports with his brother or his company team. But today he had promised her, it would just be them. Edward had taken her on his tour of the city. They had started with his favourite place to have breakfast; a little café called Willy's tucked up away on a side street near his apartment. It was full of young couples, similar to them, having a relaxing Sunday brunch. After their previous night's 'adventures' and the emptying of her stomach that morning, Bella was near ravenous.

After she had had her fill of chocolate chip pancakes and maple syrup and Edward's comments that she could eat more than his brother Emmett and that was saying something, they had meandered down 5th Avenue before crossing onto East Drive. It was a bright, clear if not chilly day which gave the excuses for pit stops of hot chocolate and pretzels from vendors as they walked. Edward regaled her with stories of his childhood, the adventures and mischief that he and Emmett used to get up to. Like the time that Edward and Emmett got lost in Edinburgh Castle after Emmett had seen a battle re-enactment on a trip to the UK for a conference that Carlisle was attending. Emmett wanted to see the swords up close and try on the costumes. He had lead a six-year old Edward through a 'No Entry' door and miles of corridors before they realised they were lost and couldn't find their way out. Eventually, after hours of searching, a frantic Esme and Carlisle with several Historic Scotland staff found Emmett and Edward knee deep in Jacobite kilts and fighting mock battles with targets and broadswords. They were none the wiser to the havoc they had caused or the fact that Carlisle was on the verge of calling Scotland Yard.

Or the time that Edward wanted to bake the mud pies that Emmett, Edward and their friend Tyler were baking. They had used the mud from Esme's new alpine flower garden. Emmett had tried to talk him out of it, but Edward swore he knew what he was doing. He had seen Esme do it with apple pies lots of times. Needless to say when Esme had discovered the three boys, up to their arms in muddy water trying to clean out the oven. As they had stood in a line in Carlisle's office being reprimanded for their 'baking' attempts, Emmett had stepped up to take the blame for Edward's idea. Tyler was sent home and grounded for a week; Edward had been made to help Esme replant that garden. Emmett on the other hand had been grounded and missed the end of year dance with his 'smoking hot' date. He also had to be a volunteer at the hospital for three weekends. Poor Esme, she must have had her hands full with them.

This was what Bella loved about Edward. For all of his seriousness, Edward was still that little boy that baked mud pies and superglued Emmett's hand to a coke can, a tale Edward was saving for another day. What it had shown her was a side of Edward she was looking forward to seeing. It seemed that Emmett and Edward were fiercely protective of each other, getting each other in, and out, of strife but having each other's backs at every turn. She was looking forward to meeting Emmett but apprehensive about meeting family.

Central Park was full of families, children running amok, their parents probably hoping they would run off enough energy to make bedtime easier. Dogs chased balls and sticks. It was like something out of a Disney movie. She was surprised that the old men playing chess didn't jump up offering sunflowers to the old ladies sitting on a bench gossiping about the week's events. It was all too saccharine. Things were going too well. Bella chastised her inner monologue and let herself enjoy the moment. Edward walked them across the Great Lawn, explaining about the summer concerts he loved going to here. Bella, of course had been to a concert or two, but she loved the sound of Edward's voice so she let him talk on. He mentioned the program for that coming year and how he thought of things she would like to go and hear. Talk of the future filled her with all kinds of happy feelings. She wanted a future, a future with was with him, by her side.

The feeling scared Bella, a shock to her system. She had been afraid before of how Edward was so intricately woven into her life. Afraid of what the effect of him, one day leaving, would be. Her hypothesis had been nowhere near the reality of him leaving her. It had almost ripped her in two. Bella had convinced herself to keep up the premise of carrying on as normal, maybe a little down, but that was to be expected in a break-up. Inside Bella was destroyed. He had become part of her every thought, her every action. They had become symbiotic over such a short period of time. It was unhealthy and in the end, their downfall. She had been so scared of losing him; she had lied and lost him anyway. This time, things would be different. They would be equals, open and honest equals. They walked in comfortable silence as Bella processed through her thought pattern. Having Edward there made it easier.

Gradually, the afternoon began to fade, giving way to the harsh chill of an early March evening, the wind rattling through New York City. Edward had suggested dinner at his apartment and Bella knew the undercurrent was that he wanted her to stay. A second blissful night in Edward's bed was exactly what she wanted; a repeat performance of the previous evening would certainly be welcome. Who was she kidding? Now she had had him, all she wanted to do was jump his bones. Nothing had even come close to the feeling of Edward filling her completely and, as much as a cliché it sounded, it made her feel whole for the first time in her life. God, she was turned on just thinking about it. How was she ever going to leave his apartment again? Edward's amazing, God-like looks and beautiful sculptured body coupled with her uncontrollable hormones and new found energy were going to be the death of both of them. Death by sex was a nice way to go though.

x-x-x-x

Side by side they worked together as Bella instructed Edward on how to make stuffed gnocchi from scratch after suggesting a cooking lesson.

"So you have potatoes..." Bella asked.

"Check."

"Flour?"

"Check." Edward squeezed the bag and a cloud of flour came out, settling in his chaotic hair.

Bella rolled her eyes. Not the best start. "Eggs?" Edward rattled a half full carton violently.

"Mushrooms, cheese, salt and pepper?"

"Check, check and check, boss."

"Be serious, Edward. Cooking is serious business."

Edward tried to hide his laughing smile but only succeeded in making himself look constipated and in pain.

"Okay, so boil the potatoes with their skins." Edward reached over to fill the pan up from the tap.

"No, use the kettle, it's quicker, and put a small amount of salt in the pan."

Edward did as he was told as Bella made herself comfortable on one of his breakfast stools. Her feet hurt from all the walking they had done around Central Park. That coupled with the fact her feet were beginning to swell, made shoes tight and painful.

Edward watched her struggle to toe off her shoes. He had noticed she had hobbled around his apartment earlier but also knew that her stubbornness would stop her from saying anything. Instead, he sat on the floor, his back resting against the stool and Bella's feet on other either shoulder. Gently, he removed each shoe and sock from each foot, rubbing the marks where her shoes had imprinted through the sock.

He started with the left foot, firmly rubbing his thumbs up the arch of her foot, kneading the knotted muscles there. Bella flinched her foot upwards and Edward lessened his touch. Her feet had to be sensitive too. He continued to work his thumbs up the arch of her feet, massaging the ball of her foot.

A deep-throated moan let loose from Bella's throat going straight to Edward's cock. Turns out that cooking was fun after all. Edward turned 180 degree's, Bella's legs slipping from his shoulders. He crawled his way up her body, his eyes never leaving hers. Their dark, lust-heavy chocolate calling to him.

"Do you have any idea what your small sounds do to me, Bella?" He placed an open mouth kiss on the creamy mound of her breast, exposed by her silk and lace camisole. "How hard it makes me?" he whispered against her skin.

Bella whimpered, her head rolling back as Edward licked and nipped the sensitive skin of her breasts. She grasped her hands into his head pulling at the strands while pushing his lips harder to her skin, desperate for the contact. She could feel him smile, no doubt smugly, against her skin at her desperate need.

In an attempt to quell the growing heat in her body, Bella dragged Edward's head from his enjoyable administrations to her neck and to his lips. Lips she had tasted throughout the day but still missed in the short time since she last had them. Not for the first time that day, Bella wondered if she would ever get enough of this Adonis. Through her heat laden brain, she managed to process the hissing sound coming from somewhere near them.

"Edward..."

He groaned against her lips, moving to kiss a trail along the edge of her jaw.

"Edward..." She grasped at his hair and forced his head away from her and into her field of vision. "Edward, something is burning."

Edward shook the lust from his head and looked wildly around. On the stove the potatoes were over-boiling, the hissing and bubbling water that was dripping onto the halogen hob stove.

"Shit." Edward quickly pulled the pot from the heat and looked at Bella sheepishly. "Cockblocked by potatoes, that's a new one."

Bella laughed at him and told him that they would finish later, once he had mashed the potatoes and pressed them through a sieve. It had been messes and Bella had a statically placed flour hand marks on her ass after an unintentional re-enactment of the potter wheel scene in _Ghost_ except with potato dough instead of clay. Eventually they had a meal of gnocchi with stir-fried broccoli, mushrooms and string beans. Edward had frowned at her liberal shaving of Parmesan, but Bella had reassured him that as a hard cheese it was safe while reminding herself to hunt down his '_Expecting_' book and burn it.

Over dinner they tried a game of twenty questions, mostly centering on their days at college and the year after graduation. Bella had confided in Edward, much to Edward's merriment, that Bella had briefly joined a sorority but had found the number of girls in the house overwhelming and she had moved out to prevent eye strain at constantly rolling her eyes at every squeal, giggle or girly activity. In the end she had happily joined the swim team and gotten involved in an art circle, developing a small but close group of friends she was still in periodic contact with. Edward had tried to play down the fact that he was the all American sports star; being heavily involved in his college soccer team, but his real love being football, he just didn't have the build to play it seriously.

Eventually the evening moved to the couch and a playful argument about music heated passions between them. Edward held Bella close as she lay on him, on her side but still snuggling into him as close as she could get. Bella had blown Edward out of the water with her love of English punk, citing _London Calling _by _The Clash_ as one of her most listened to albums. She didn't take too kindly to being told that she only liked punk because all the cool kids did these days.

Edward watched with a chuckle as Bella launched into an explanation of where her love of punk had come from. It turned out that Charlie Swan had been a closet fan, and when Bella had turned thirteen, Joanna had given her Charlie's entire vinyl collection along with a record player she had dug up in the attic. Bella would sit and listen to the albums for hours, trying to imagine her dad dressed in tight union jack t-shirts and tight leather trousers rocking out to _The Clash _or _The Sex Pistols._ She was almost certain that her dad wouldn't approve of her listening to such language or rantings of disillusionment with authority, given her father had been Chief of Police of the small town of Forks.

Edward could see the glazed tell-tale sign of unshed tears at the memories of her father. Edward laid comforting kisses to her temple, most of her face out of reach as she buried herself into his chest to gain control of her emotions.

The lust in Bella's eyes as she brought herself out his chest and looked up at him caught him off guard. A woman's mood swings when she was pregnant was something that no book could prepare you for. Her nimble fingers clawed at his clothed chest as she tried to crawl her way closer to him. Knowing that lying on her stomach would be as uncomfortable as lying on a baseball, Edward slowly began turning them so that she was under him, reclined in to the overstuffed cushions of the couch. The site of Bella made him harden. Her innocent look back up at him was all a hidden gaze, he knew that. Her coy eyes gave away her real lust.

"I think we need to finish your teasing session from earlier, Edward."

God, he loved the way his name rolled off her tongue like an ebbing tide over shore; smooth and fluid with a promise of so much more beneath the waves.

"It's only teasing if you don't follow through, and I have every intention of following through, sweetheart." In the background, the grandfather clock in the small foyer of Edward's apartment struck nine times. "But not right now. Right now I want to show you something."

He went to move from her, but Bella tried to hold him in place. "Don't you dare walk away from me now. You can't leave me like this."

Edward almost changed his mind at the sight of Bella heaving below him. No, he had to stick to his guns. He had been planning this all day.

"I promise, when we get back, I will make you come so many times, you will forget your own name; mine will be the only one on your mind." He whispered into her ear, a voice so full of lust and velvet, that he could have probably seduced the habit from a nun.

He pushed himself from her body after playfully biting her earlobe, certainly not helping Bella's turned on state.

Bella followed him to the hall closet where he handed her a jacket as well as her socks and shoes. He could see her lips start to move in question but instead, placed a finger to her lips and whispered '_trust me'_, before leading her from the apartment.

"Edward, why are we going onto the roof?"

Edward turned slightly to face Bella, while continuing to slowly climb the stairs. "Bella, I just want to surprise you. For once, take it with the grace it was intended." He smiled to Bella to show he wasn't as serious as the words sounded.

Bella nodded and allowed him to lead her up some very familiar stairs. She had only been up here once before. It was the night that they laid star-gazing on his apartment building roof. It had been a beyond magical night. Just before he pushed open the door, he hit a switch beside the door. As the roof terrace came into view, Bella remembered the night he took her up there to show her the stars. His stories, his travels, a small piece of his soul laid bare.

Had it been obvious then? Why hadn't she seen it then, her feelings for him so strong inside her? It could have saved her three horrendous weeks of agony, three long weeks without Edward. Slowly she took in the terrace. It was the same as last time; wooden bench plinths with cushions, the beautiful, contemporary landscaping. The one thing that was different though was the fairy lights. Hundreds of tiny, sparkling white fairy lights strung around the circumference of the terrace. They crossed over the 'courtyard' of the terrace creating a canopy of twinkling lights.

Bella covered her mouth in wonder before Edward pulled them away, using the momentum to pull her gently to him. "Did you do this? Did you put up all the lights?"

Edward chuckled, clasping her hands together to his chest as they stood under the canopy of lights. "Nope, they were here last time you were up here. They just weren't on and they are hard to spot at night."

"Why weren't they on? They look so pretty."

"Just like you." Bella blushed as Edward ran a now free hand over the apple of her cheek. "There is already a lot of background light in New York. If we had these lights on too, the stars would have been hard to see apart from the brightest."

"Venus!" Bella exclaimed, proud of herself for remembering.

Leisurely Edward pulled Bella's arm out to a dancing pose, his other hand secured on the small of her back as he moved her around in a sort of shuffle slow dance. Somewhere between the door to the roof and pulling Bella to him, music had started, playing softly through hidden speakers. James Morrison's gravelly tones surrounded them. _'If You Don't Love Me'_. Bella hoped it wasn't a sign of things to come.

"Why Mr. Cullen, aren't you Mr. Smooth tonight. Anyone else would think you had planned this and wanted to seduce me.

Edward leaned in close, still keeping their movements. "Anyone else would be right."

Bella shivered, leaning into him. God, the things this man could do to her. There was a lot to be said for pregnancy hormones and their perpetual state of horniness.

Edward moved back only slightly. He needed distance from her scent. If he wasn't careful, he would take her there and then and he couldn't have his pregnant girlfriend catching a cold.

"Where do you see yourself in five years, Bella?" Edward murmured swaying them to _Feeling Good' _by _Nina Simone_.

"What a serious question." He smiled, silently asking her to indulge him. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it. I want to be the number one, children's shoe designer in the world."

Bella crinkled her nose to think about it, a look Edward had seen Cassie pull before. Why hadn't he noticed it sooner?

"I want to travel a bit, see the world. I want children of my own, three I think. I want the usual I guess. Happy marriage, unlike my parents. I want to be an awesome mom to three adorable kids, a house, a dog. You know? The usual."

"Wow, for someone who hasn't thought about this, you sure know what you want." Bella giggled. "There is a girl who looks so much like her mom, maybe not obviously, but she is so her mom's little girl. Creative like her mom and not allowed to date until she is at least thirty. I can see a boy who is really into sports, yet he is smart. He looks out for his little brother who is the quiet type, into adventure and loves animals."

He watched Bella dreamily as she imagined the same. A little chubby toddler with a shock of red hair, just like his dad, chasing a puppy around the front yard. Edward sitting on the porch of their five-bedroom, Maine style house, and beside him sat an older boy in his baseball uniform. They were discussing the finer points of a game while Bella emptied the SUV of groceries, smiling at her boys. God, she hoped he was with her too. She couldn't stand the thought of the man in her dream being someone else.

Edward tapped her nose to draw her out her vacant stare. "I was saying, three kids is a nice number. You get two chances to screw up then hit it lucky with the youngest."

"Edward!"

"I'm joking. Three kids will be perfect."

Bella smiled as they continued to dance, well shuffle, in loose circles. Edward had pulled her close again, her ear to his chest as his heartbeats softly echoed with the music. A thrill shot through her as she felt Edward's nose pass over her ear, his breath caressing the shell.

"_There may come a time, you just can't seem to find your way,  
For every door you walk on to, seems like they get slammed in your face,  
That's when you need someone, someone that you can call,_

_And when all your faith is gone,  
Feels like you can't go on,  
Let it be me,  
Let it be me"_

Bella's breath hitched, he was singing to her. A voice like velvet that could melt chocolate. No one had ever sung to her before. His warm breath and the realisation of the lyrics he had chosen to sing sent shivers down her spine and hope to her heart.

"_Now I remember all too well,  
Just how it feels to be all alone,  
You feel like you'd give anything,  
For just a little place you can call your own,  
That's when you need someone, someone that you can call.  
And when all your faith is gone,  
Feels like you can't go on,  
Let it be me,  
Let it be me"_

The lyrics of the song stopped leaving behind the beautiful melody as the song wound down. The world was gone, only they were left.

"I want you forever, Bella."

Bella pulled herself unhurried from his chest but staying in his arms, daring hope to show on her face. "Why, Mr. Cullen, is that a proposal?"

Edward smiled at her, lust shooting straight to her core. "No, I just wanted to put it out there. I know how much you hate surprises, Miss Swan."

Bella smiled back, resting herself against Edward's chest. "I love you, Edward Cullen."

"I love you Bella Swan."

* * *

**Finally they say it! Gotta love the crazy kids! Hope it wasn't too mushy or anti-climatic!**

**Song: Let It Be Me – Ray LaMontagne**

**For those complaining about the lack of drama, drama, drama...hold on to your hats...Its about to get turbulant.**

**Gutted the 'revie' button is no longer a button, but hit that link and let me know your thoughts on how its all going!!!  
**


	15. Meet the FockersCullenStyle

**Apologies for the update delay. I have been traveling around Australia and New Zealand for work. While exciting, itsleft me beyond time short! Plus i have 4 week...YES 4...until i am stateside to host my first ever International conference! Scary bananas! Anyhoo, enjoy!**

**Chapter 15 – Meet the Fockers…Cullen-Style**

* * *

**Monday, 15 March, 2010 – Week 17**

Bella sat in Dr. Grace's office sipping at her fifth glass of water that morning. She had already had one glass of water before leaving Edward's that morning but before she could actually leave, Edward had refilled her glass and pushed it in front of her. He had used his male attributes, namely his dripping wet, naked torso, fresh from the shower, to distract her while he tried to encourage her to drink more. Edward had discovered that a full bladder made the baby easier to see on an ultrasound. Bella had bitten back that next time he should try an ultrasound with a full bladder while he is desperate to pee and the technician is pushing down his bladder further. Edward had beaten a haste retreat and firmly closed the bedroom door. Edward was learning Bella's 'don't mess with me!' face quickly.

Today was going to be an exciting day for Edward. He was on his way to meet up with Bella at the clinic and go to his fist ever ultrasound. He had been up since six thinking about it. Bella had explained it to him when Edward had questioned what to expect. The last thing he wanted to do was to freak out on Bella. Hollywood hadn't helped. Men either burst into tears or the ultrasound screen showed something that wouldn't have looked out of place as an alien in a Joss Whedon film. Bella's description of her first ultrasound when she was pregnant with Cassie had been beyond magical. Try as she had, Bella had been unable to put into words the firm, sound heartbeat of who would turn out to be one of the most special women in her world. Edward would just have to discover that one for himself. Bella had told him that they probably wouldn't be able to tell the sex quite yet, but Edward was holding out a sliver of hope.

He spotted Bella sitting on an overstuffed seat, eyeing a glass of water in her hand with distain.

"What did the water do to you?" He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"It's not the water per say, it's the fact that this is my fifth cup and I really need to pee."

Edward laughed, sitting down beside her and taking her hands into his lap. "Where are Alice and Jasper?"

"They are just parking their car."

"You're sure Alice is okay with me being here?" Edward asked, his hand grasping at Bella's for reassurance.

Bella sighed. She had told Edward the whole story of Alice's negative behaviour towards Edward once she realised that Bella was serious about him. Bella had to. Edward had questioned Bella about why she ended up in the hospital, which had led to Bella's confession of Alice's over-protective behaviour and her own anxiety over keeping the pregnancy from him. He had held her as she cried over the guilt and desolation at not being able to share the first few months of pregnancy with him. Now he absorbed every piece of information about babies and carrying babies. Bella had even threatened to burn his "What To Expect…" book. Edward reassured Bella on more than one occasion he wouldn't grow too attached to the baby before it was born. It wasn't so much an attachment to the baby, it was more the fact that Bella was carrying a life inside her and that one day it might be his child she carried. Every since their break-up and subsequent reunion, Edward had been thinking more about the future. More specifically, his future with Bella. His heart had broken at the thought of not having Bella in his life forever. His heart cried out that she was the one, his forever, but his brain screamed at him '_too soon_'. Yet here he was, sitting in a doctor's waiting room with Bella for her sixteen week scan.

They both looked up as Alice spun into the room, Jasper leisurely strolling in behind her. Alice threw her arms around Bella, hugging her tightly to her. Ever since her hospital visit, Alice had been super affectionate. Small hugs and squeezes that made Bella smile and reassured Alice she was forgiven. Alice stepped away from Bella before putting her arms around Edward in a looser hug. He hugged her back after a moment of shock. Looking down he saw a hesitant smile and when he smiled back, Alice grinned wider.

"Bella Swan?" A voice called.

The nurse led them into a largish room that Bella, Alice and Jasper knew as Dr. Grace's examination room. Edward stared in wonder at all the equipment, including the gynaecologists' bed of legend. Luckily for Edward's imagination, the stirrups were folded away out of sight.

"Bella. My favourite patient." Michelle paused to look behind Bella. "Wow, you come with quite the entourage these days."

Bella giggled before reaching back for Edward's hand. "This," she dragged him to her side, "is, Edward."

"Ah, _the_ Edward." Edward looked to the floor in embarrassment. "Sorry, Edward, I was just teasing. It's nice to finally meet you." She turned to look at the other occupants of the room. "Alice, Jasper, always good to see you. Do you want to pop up on the bed, Bella, and make yourself comfortable?"

Bella made her way over to the bed, dumping her coat and back onto the chair beside it. She opened the button and zipper on her trousers, rolling them to uncover the bump under her stomach. Bella stayed on the thigh-level bed, Alice and Jasper standing to one side, Edward on the other beside Dr. Grace.

"So, how has the morning sickness been since your trip to the ER?"

"It's been fine. The tablets the doctor gave me worked really well. Me and Bumpy are just fine." Bella patted her bump affectionately.

Alice's frame stiffened to a rigid posture. "Bumpy?" Her flailing hands finally settled on her hips. "Bumpy?"

"Yep." Bella answered, popping the P while pointing to her bump. "It's a bump so it is called Bumpy."

"You are sadly mistaken if you think you are calling my future child, Bumpy. Talk about developing a complex."

Bella sat up slightly on her elbows. "Hey, he," she pointed at Edward who put his hands up in mock surrender, "Calls it, Bob."

Alice opened and closed her mouth several times before she found her words. "At least, Edward, thinks it's a boy. Bob, I can just about live with, but Bumpy, no way sister."

Michelle joined Jasper in a tittering laugh. "Well let's get the ultrasound started and see if we have a boy or girl and then you can decide on a proper name."

Bella whimpered slightly at the cold gel on her skin. Michelle pushed the probe firmly on the taut skin, a fuzzy image appearing on the screen. Slowly it focused and a grey blob in a black space came into view. Suddenly the screen zoomed in and the grey blob began to resemble something familiar. Alice gasped softly as Jasper gathered her to his side, placing kisses to the top of her head.

"What?" Edward asked, his gaze flashing between Alice, Jasper and the screen. The baby bible hadn't prepared him for the grey blob.

Michelle cleared her throat beside him. "This is the head." She pointed to a large distorted football shape while still holding the probe to Bella's stomach. "This is the body and arms." Her finger moved across the screen. "This really white line is the spine, which looks clear. Then we have the legs." The two sausage shapes she pointed out moved sharply. "You've got a feisty one there, Alice. Bella, can you feel him moving?"

Bella nodded, never taking her eyes off a very star-struck Edward. "I get fluttering every now and again. It's earlier than it was with Cassie."

"That's normal with your second pregnancy. It should only be about two weeks before mommy and daddy will be able to feel it on the outside so not too long to wait, I promise." Michelle pressed, looking up at the intertwined couple. "Did you bring a disc?" Jasper nodded, swallowing deeply as his emotions flooded through him. He handed Michelle the pink jewel case and she placed the disc into the machine. The room was silent as Michelle turned a volume control on the machine and the rapid _lub-dub_ of Bumpy's heartbeat filled the space. Edward's eyes widened in utter astonishment.

"So fast." He muttered under his breath.

After a minute or so, Michelle pulled the probe from Bella.

"Okay, I'm going to get you to roll onto your side, towards me, and we're going to try and see what Bumpy is, sex wise."

Edward held Bella's elbow as she shifted awkwardly on the small padded bed. He grasped her hand in his as she settled again. She glanced up at him, her eyes bright and a reassuring smile on her face. He smiled equally as bright back, mouthing '_I love you_' at her.

Michelle spread more gel over Bella's stomach and placed the probe back. The image of the grey blob was back and this time Edward was able to tell end from end. He watched in wonder as it kicked out again, his body in profile on the screen.

"Ah, there it is." Michelle paused the screen and turned to four expectant faces. "I think Bob is going to be the more appropriate name here. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Baby Boy Whitlock. A well-endowed Baby Boy Whitlock."

Alice let loose a sob as she buried her head into Jasper's chest, a lone tear straying down his face. Edward smiled down proudly at Bella, resting her hand on hers where it sat on her now clean stomach. A small hand came down gently on top of theirs and squeezed. Edward's head shot up and Alice smiled at him in total acceptance. He knew what she was trying to do. Alice was trying to wipe the slate clean. Start again. Edward turned his hand so he and Alice were palm to palm and smiled back. _'Thank you_' Alice mouthed before breaking his gaze to kiss Bella on the cheek.

~*-*~

Bella leaned back against the deep padding of the recliner. From her vantage point, she could watch Edward buzzing around the kitchen in a near panic. She had removed his mobile and cordless phone as well as his laptop, all of which were sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She had challenged him to cook dinner, a meal they had already practiced. In reward, Edward had promised a night of hot, steamy sex for being such a good student. Bella hoped he'd pull it off. She was Horny. As. Hell. They had not slept together since their first time together a week before. There was something about Edward playing Master and Commander in his kitchen, barefoot and clad only in stone wash jeans and an untucked white button down, the first three buttons undone. Sex on a stick. Bella rubbed her thighs together in an effort to relieve some of the tension. Finally, the smell of roasted cheese filtered out of the oven.

"I think it is ready. The cheese and sauce are bubbling."

"Then it's ready, hun." Bella shouted, hoisting herself from the soft restraints of the chair.

They sat at the table as Edward served up the last of the garlic bread. Bella's tummy grumbled at the smell of the freshly made food. Now that her morning sickness had passed, her appetite was returning.

"So looks like you win the challenge," Bella murmured, looking up at Edward from under her lashes.

"I certainly did." His voice was low but his face showed a distraction that had been there since he had received a phone call after leaving Dr. Grace's after the scan that day. Edward had told her it had been Emmett, his brother, but what news Emmett had given him. Bella wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Edward took a large gulp of wine and then cleared his throat "I, um…"

Bella placed her hand over his. "You can tell me anything, Edward."

His body refused to relax. "I want you to cometodinneratmybrother's," He rushed out.

"What?" Bella blinked, trying to translate what Edward had said. Was it even English?

His shoulders slumped in an almost defeated manner. "I was wondering if you would come to dinner at my brothers' house."

Bella was careful to keep the look of alarm off her face but her pre-arranged smile came off looking more as a grimace.

_Meet the family, wow, big step, HUGE!_

As Bella continued to battle with herself, Edward slumped further into his chair. The lost-little-boy look on his face was more than Bella could bear. She had already met his mother, Esme, several times via Skype but to actually meet his nearest and dearest, face to face.

"Of course, but don't you usually go on a Monday nights?

Edward visibly perked, moving to interlace his fingers with Bella's. "Normally but he suggested Friday so that we could stay the night instead of leaving at the crack of dawn to drive down to the city."

"And Rosalie will be okay with this?" Bella motioned to her lower torso. It hadn't been that long since her recent miscarriage and the last thing that Bella wanted was to make is sister-in-law uncomfortable, or worse still, upset her by rubbing her pregnancy in Rosalie's face.

"It'll be fine. Rose actually suggested for us to stay in the first place. She was worried you would be exhausted. I mentioned some of your concerns to Em. They've started to see a councillor about the miscarriages and about how it's affecting their marriage."

"That's good. There are so many groups out there that can help." They settled into an easy silence as Bella pushed her food around her plate, deep in thought.

"Are you finished?"

Bella nodded before helping Edward clearing the table and stacking his dishwasher. There was comfort in the domesticity of their movements. She was further comforted by Edward's arms coming around her from behind.

"You okay?" He mumbled into her hair. Bella nodded. "Come here, I want to show you something."

Edward took her by the hand and led her over to his piano. He left her standing in the carved curve part of the body before lifting the lid. He went back to the kitchen, returning with a breakfast barstool.

"I heard that music is meant to settle babies and help inspire intelligence in the womb."

Edward motioned for Bella to sit in the stool, bringing her body close to the piano. He took a breath before launching into '_Eine kleine Nachtmusik_. Bella felt herself swept up, but not in the music. Instead, she watched Edward as his passion flooded through him and into the music. In her tummy, Bella felt the fluttering that told her Bumpy was on the move. Settling babies indeed. Bumpy was already defying the expected and he wasn't even born. Even as enticing as the nighttime New York skyline was, that could be seen from the floor to ceiling windows beside the piano, Bella couldn't take her eyes from Edward. Slowly, the music faded to a few notes.

"I want to play you something of mine. Something I have been working on for a few months. It's nearly finished."

He picked up the compilation book Bella had given him at Christmas and opened it. The music started out softly, the gentle notes almost an innocent melody. Gradually, the song evolved, building in volume and complexity until it suddenly stopped. The room echoed in a six beat pause of the song. The notes returned, deeper, darker in nature; almost cacophony. Edward's face was pursed almost as if he was battling the raising emotions of the song. Finally, his nebulous notes gave way to sunshine, as if it had emerged from a bank of storm clouds. For the first time Bella understood what it meant to have music weave a spell around you. Abruptly the music ended.

"That's all I have so far. It's not finished but I will get there soon."

Edward stood up from the piano and walked over to Bella. His guitar-calloused thumbs wiped at the silent tears that had fell from her eyes. He knew those tears. He had cried the same tears as he composed what he played so far.

"That was us? Our relationship?" Edward nodded. "I felt it; I felt the sadness from our break up. I'm so so sorry." More tears fell from her eyes.

"Shush now, it doesn't matter anymore. We're here now."

Bella nodded, her breath coming in large gulps as she tried to control her tears. "Sorry, it's the hormones, I swear."

"You can only use that excuse for so long, you know. I wonder what non-pregnant, hormone-calm, Bella is like."

"Oh speaking of pregnancy. Alice was wondering if you were free tomorrow night."

"Alice wondered?" He sounded beyond surprised.

"Yeah, we have this thing, to help Alice with body bonding. She takes photos of Bumpy and I throughout the pregnancy. They all go in an album. I'll show you Cassie's at some point. She wants you in them." Bella looked up at Edward, her gaze holding his. "You _are_ a part of our lives now and you will be a part of Bumpy's too."

Internally, Edward was doing the happy dance, arms flailing like a mad man. On the surface, he tried to appear calm, less insane, but his eyes gave him away. Instead of answering, he kissed Bella solidly, his lips speaking for him. Her moan spurned him on, licking her bottom lip, requesting access. Bella opened her mouth to him without hesitation, desperate to taste him again. Even though it had barely been an hour, she already missed his lips. A faint hint of garlic was on his hot breath as his tongue battled with hers. For once, Bella had no qualms about surrendering. She just wanted him. Now.

"Edward, I need you." Bella managed as she drew back for air.

His kisses peppered across her jaw, down her neck. His tongue jutted out from his mouth, swirling in the indent where her collarbones met. He could feel the effort in his arms and back as they struggled to hold him at the correct height.

"How about we move this to the piano bench? This is…uncomfortable."

Bella brought herself out of her lustful haze for long enough to notice his strained arms on both sides of her, and the taut muscles in his neck. He held her elbow as she hopped down from the breakfast stool. Edward resituated himself on the piano bench, supporting Bella as she placed one leg on either side of him, straddling him. Slowly she lowered herself on to him, her heated core against his hardness.

"Jesus, Bella, do you have any idea what you do to me?" He nipped gently at her neck, pushing the waist of her pants down.

Bella stood, disjointed notes echoing from the piano as she bumped the keys, pushing her pants and underwear to the floor.

"Off." She growled, reaching for Edward's belt.

"What about foreplay?" Edward goaded, knowing just how horny Bella was. He wanted her just as much.

"Overrated." She panted out.

Edward lifted his hips, breaking the rhythmic undulation of Bella's hips, to allow Bella to yank his pants out from under him. There was no doubt; this was going to be hard and fast. Not that Edward minded. Before he could blink, his pants were at his ankles with his boxers and Bella was straddling him again. Who knew that pregnancy gave you superhuman speed? Bella ground into him as she tried to find a more comfortable position for her and Bumpy.

"Jesus, Bella." Edward moaned. His head fell backwards. "You keep that up and I'm gonna be a two pump chump."

Bella immediately stopped her motions, a look of horror on her face. Her top was over her head and thrown clear of the bench. Edward's eyes roved her torso indiscriminately. He pawed at her shoulders, her hips, undecided at where to touch first. The very feel of her skin was his undoing. Her breasts, God, her breasts. Every morning he woke to them and every morning they seemed to have grown. They now sat at his eye level, taunting him. Despite the urgency in the need to be connected with Bella, Edward reached out and drew a stiff nipple into his mouth. He circled his tongue around the tip, before tugging it into his mouth. He knew how sensitive her breasts were right now. Her moans had every nerve in his body on fire. Every ending attuned to what was going on in the room. Edward felt his arousal grow, smothering the cries his body wanted to make at his hyperaware state. The harder he tugged the more Bella ground down on him, desperately seeking friction from him.

The tip of his dick would have sighed in bliss if it could, at meeting the wetness of Bella's entrance. Inch by inch, Bella lowered herself on to his warm, hard length.

"Holy hell. You feel so fucking tight." Edward grunted.

He had to keep her firmly in his lap, still, or he was going to come in an instant. Bella's moans and whimpers went straight to his cock making him even harder if possible. Bella moaned louder as she felt him grow and swell inside of her. Memories of catching his parents going at it on the kitchen counter and his Grandma's underwear drying on the washing line were all that kept him there, in the now, instead of succumbing to his orgasm.

Gently, he released his grip and Bella began to move. He grasped at her ass, squeezing her closer with every thrust. Moans of satisfaction filled the air. Disjointed notes joined the harmony of whimpers and gasps.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you right now?" Bella ground out as she rode him. A familiar coil was tightening in her abdomen. A flash of pleasure pulsated through her as the tip of Edward's cock passed over her spot. "Right. There." Edward angled his hips and drove into her again and again. "Fuck. Yes. Again." Bella managed between pants.

"I can't keep this up, Bella. I'm coming."

Bella's head flew back as shooting stars erupted behind her eyelids. Edward continued to pump into her, erratically, before his body froze, muscles stiffening in release. Bella felt his hot seed flood into her.

Exhausted, Bella fell down on Edward's body, her legs still loosely straddling him.

"That was..." Bella mumbled into his neck, a fulfilled smile on her face.

"Yep."

Edward gasped at a sharp tap to his upper abdomen. Bella's head shot up. Her eyes met his, wide in wonder.

"Was that...?" Edward motioned to Bumpy, his words deserting him.

"Yep. I think so."

"But Dr. Grace said it would be two weeks or so before I could feel him kick on the outside."

"Edward, I have been feeling him more for over a week. That was a big kick so am not surprised you would feel it." Bella pulled Edward's hand down on her bump and moved it around. Finally Edward felt it again.

"You can't tell Alice. She'll want to be the first to feel it, except for me. So she feels recognised."

Edward nodded in understanding. "But I am allowed to cop a feel in private, right?"

Bella giggled as Edward's hands roamed. "We'll have to do this," she motioned to their position, "more often."

"You know, I always wanted to defile my piano. This was a good start."

~*-*~

**Friday, 18 March, 2010 – Week 17**

Bella adjusted herself in the mirror. No matter what she wore these days, her bump was visible and her breasts were enormous. Her body's insecurities niggled at the back of her mind. For the most part she had managed to keep a lid on them, especially in front of Edward.

Her only mental breakdown had happened in Macy's. She had phoned Alice from the floor of a Macy's dressing room, crying and unable to get her words out. Ten minutes later, Alice had come roaring into the dressing room frantic something dire had happened to either Bella or the baby. Instead, she had found Bella in her underwear, a sweater tangled around her neck and several pairs of pants lying crumpled around her. After heaving sobs and reassuring hugs from Alice, Bella had managed to get out that nothing fit her anymore, even if she did go a size or two up. She was beyond exhausted, trying to get a complicated sweater over her head. After removing the sweater and cleaning away the tear tracks of mascara from her face, Alice managed to talk Bella into the maternity department. They walked away from Macy's with a haul of clothes and a very happy Bella.

There was a fine line between pregnancy and bipolar.

Emmett and Rosalie were aware of her pregnancy and the surrogacy thanks to Alice's overzealous invasion of Emmett's office. However, Bella didn't want to bring too much attention to it. She had even tried to talk Edward out of it until more time had passed. Edward had insisted that Bella started meeting his family, just as he had met hers. It was further proof that Edward was serious about her. The rooftop suggestion at a future proposal aside. He wanted this. He wanted her complicated life, her hyper, interfering sister included. He wanted to be a part of her nephew's life.

Bella harumphed for a final time before reaching for her cell phone. Time to call the Big Guns in. Luckily they picked up on the third ring.

"Baby Bella, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I need wardrobe help, Mama Brandon." Bella whined into the phone. "I am meeting Edward's brother tonight and I look hideous."

Joanna tutted down the phone. She expected the over dramatics from Alice usually, never Bella. "What's up?"

"Everything I have tried on makes me look huge. Bumpy sticks out a mile not to mention my boobs look monumental."

"You are over four months pregnant, it's only natural."

"I know that." Bella was exasperated and verging on stressed. "His sister-in-law is recovering from a miscarriage and I don't want to be all in her face."

"Bella, as much as I admire your sense to look out for everyone else before yourself, his sister-in-law has probably seen pregnant women on the street. You are not going to be the first bump she has seen since her miscarriage."

"I know, I know," Bella muttered in a resigned tone. "I know I am being insecure but I don't want to blow this."

"Why don't you wear the dark teal satin wrap dress that we bought at Christmas?"

"It won't fit across my _huge_ boobs."

"Put a cream camisole underneath to cover the gap. It will flatter, what did Alice say you called it, Bumpy, and it will hide your huge melons."

"Thank you so much. I just want this to be perfect."

Joanna giggled. "Stop worrying so much. Alice said that you and Edward are getting serious. She told me he came to your scan."

"Yeah, he did. He's really getting onto the whole baby train." Bella smiled to herself dreamily. "He keeps talking about _our_future together and having kids of our own."

"So when do I get to meet this bronzed-haired hottie?"

_Alice,_ Bella muttered under her breath. She was distracted from the reply by the ringing of her doorbell. Edward was early.

"Hold on, JoJo, Edward's here."

Bella heard a high pitch squeal from phone, so familiar she could have sworn she dialled Alice instead. She could here loud mutterings from the phone as she opened the door to Edward. There he stood, a God still wearing his crumpled office suit. He cocked an eyebrow at the ramblings from the phone.

"You do realise that the phone is still talking to you. Is this a psychosis related to pregnancy?" Edward asked.

"Nope, just psychosis rendered from my father's remarriage. I'm on the phone to Joanna."

The two of them looked down at the cell phone as '_Let me speak to him' _emanated from the speaker.

Bella rolled her eyes as she handed him the phone. "I'm just going to change and then we can go."

She made her way towards her room, leaving the door ajar so she could hear at least one side of the conversation. She was glad that Joanna seemed understanding of her growing relationship with Edward. Bella knew she was way beyond the age of requiring her family's acceptance of her relationships but given how much Joanna had become a mother to her, it meant the world to her. As she rushed to redress herself, Bella could hear murmurings of a conversation that sounded like Joanna was asking Edward to come visit them in Forks. He had mentioned more than once wanting to see where she and Alice had grown up, now it appeared she was being tagged teamed by both Edward and Joanna.

x-x-x-x

The drive to Scarsdale had been quiet with sporadic conversation about songs that played from Bella's iPod and how their day at work had been. Edward could tell Bella was nervous and he knew he could do little but allow her to work through it and not let her work herself up too much as she ran around with it in her head. Edward had tried to prepare her for his overzealous brother and his frost-bound wife but he had a feeling that Bella wouldn't understand until she met them. To say Rosalie and Edward didn't get on would be an understatement. They were as different as chalk and cheese. Rosalie had walls that were harder to penetrate than the Great Wall of China itself. It didn't help that her beauty was beyond intimidating. Her long blonde hair and steel blue eyes were only eclipsed by her supermodel stature and Rosalie knew how to use it to keep people at arm's length. In recent years, the bricks had started to fall to the point where they could carry on a conversation and they could meet without needing Emmett's present as a buffer. Edward knew Rosalie's MO though. She had been hurt and betrayed in the past by her family and very rarely trusted people enough to let them in. He also knew that underneath she was a caring person who would do anything to protect the people closest to her from harm. Rosalie Cullen, despite all appearances, would be a perfect mother and it hurt Edward deeply to see her and Emmett struggle to make that a reality.

Right now, they were sitting outside of his brother's house and had been for the last fifteen minutes.

"Bella, we are going to have to go in soon. Emmett has been twitching the curtains, watching us."

"I...I just need a minute." Bella rung her hands in her lap nervously.

Edward left the car and made his way around to Bella's side. He opened her door and crouched down to her eye level. "There is nothing to be nervous of. Emmett will love you and probably crush you to death with hugs. Ignore Rosalie; it usually works best with her temperament. If you don't want to stay the night, then we can drive back down tonight and we have the car so we can make our escape whenever we want."

His last words gained a small smile from Bella as she stepped out of the car. Edward grabbed their small overnight bags from the trunk of the car and guided Bella towards the front door. Despite the Cullen family's combined wealth, Emmett and Rosalie's house was a modest, four-bedroom, family home with a well-manicured front garden and driveway. It was something out of Desperate Housewives and so normal, compared with what Bella was expecting. The thunderous steps could be heard behind the door as someone answered the doorbell made Bella's eyes widen in fear.

"Did you know that in the movie "Scarface" the F-word is said 207 times. Once every 1.22 minutes."

Bella turned to Edward, eyes shining in wonder. "Seriously? That's a shitload of fuck."

Both Bella and Edward doubled over in laughter as the front door opened.

"What's so funny? Did Eddie finally show you the size of his wang?"

Edward stared at his brother, his expression blank. "Bella, this is my highly inappropriate brother, Emmett. Em, this is my Bella."

Before Bella knew it, she was being scooped up and swung around.

"Careful, Em. She's not some throw toy."

Bella let loose a childish giggle before Emmett put her back down on her feet. "Emmett, I've seen his _wang_ and trust me when I say; there is nothing to laugh about when it comes to his size." She made exaggerated movements of her hands, keeping them far from each other. "Are all Cullen men as well hung?"

Emmett reared back from them, his face twisted in disgust. "TMI, little one. TMI!" Emmett shook his head as if to clear his thoughts.

"I like this one, Eddie." Emmett guffawed as he stood aside to let Bella past before pulling Edward into a one-arm, back slapping, hug. "Rosalie is in the kitchen."

Edward turned to Bella, who was already starting off towards the kitchen. It looked like Bella's nerves of steel had finally come back to her. She was off to face Rosalie.

"How is she?" Edward asked.

"She's getting there. The councillor is helping her a lot and she seems to be accepting what the doctors have told us about her not being able to carry to term."

Edward nodded, not quite sure what to say to his brother. "What about you? How are you?"

"I'm stressed out, a little." Emmett led them to the living room, Edward keeping one ear geared towards sounds coming out of the kitchen. "Rosalie is taking this last one so hard. The doctors told her that the next one could kill her. I want children but I could never lose Rose. I would rather never have children of our own."

"Edward? Em? Dinner is ready." Rosalie called from the dining room.

Edward watched his brother, worry clearly etched on his face. The last few months had not been easy on his family, no doubt their mother, Esme, had ran herself ragged with worry. They found the dining room table already set with a bowl of salad and a wooden bowl filled with steaming garlic bread. Bella emerged through the kitchen doorway, a glass dish of roasted vegetable tarte tatin in her hands. Edward immediately swooped down and took it from her.

"What have I said about carrying heavy objects?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "I am pregnant, Edward, not an invalid. Now put that by the bread and sit down. Just as well we decided to stay over, it's really coming down out there."Bella motioned to the dining room window.

"Yeah, they forecast rain for this evening."

Bella took a seat by Edward. His arm rested over the back of her seat, his fingers playing with the longer hairs at the base of her neck.

"So how are you and Rose getting on?" Edward asked, trying to keep concern out of his voice. He wanted Bella to form her own opinion of Bella.

"Well after she made sure I wasn't after your money and it really was a baby for Alice I was carrying, we're getting along okay. I think she appreciates my snark."

Edward chuckled. Trust Bella to fit right in with Rosalie. Further conversation was halted by Emmett coming back into the dining room carrying a chilled bottle of white wine while Rose carried a bottle of sparkling apple juice behind them.

Conversation halted as drinks were poured and dinner dished out. The whole set up felt homely to Bella. Emmett was obviously trying to keep his laude comments to himself. One particularly inappropriate 'baby-mama' joke had earned him a slap to the back of the head by Rosalie.

"So Bella, Edward mentioned you design shoes?" Rosalie started.

"Children's shoes. I work for a company that designs children shoes and we sell them to private boutiques and department stores."

"So is it like designing adult shoes but in miniature. Hey, you could make a fortune like that James Choo dude." Emmett pipped in.

"Jimmy, it's Jimmy Choo. No, designing adult shoes is completely different. With kids you have to take into account things like the growth of feet, supporting them properly and the impact on the joints. We liaise with people in podiatrists and orthopaedics a lot."

"Woo, who would have thought it? You certainly give, Eddie, here a run for his money in the brains department." Rose smacked him upside the head again.

"Stop calling me Eddie, Em, or we will have to roll out your football nickname and why you have it."

The table erupted in giggles as Emmett blanched at Edward's threat. The ringing of the doorbell interrupted them. Rose and Emmett looked at each other before shaking their heads in silent communication. Emmett went to rise but Rose motioned for him to sit back down.

"I'll get it hon." There was laughter in her voice. "You look a little sick."

The giggles at the table resumed. Two voices could be heard from near the front door, after it closed. One was obviously Rose but the other was also female. Though they started off quiet, the rumblings got slightly louder before Emmett got up and headed in the same direction as Rose. The voices all rose again as the conversation became clear to the occupants left in the dining room; Edward and Bella.

"Look, this really isn't a good time for you to be here." Emmett's loud, deep voice could be heard.

"Em, we can't just kick her out into the streets again. Look at her." Rose argued.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have come. I just had nowhere else left to turn."

"Well what did you expect after what you did?"

"Emmett, don't speak to her like that." Rose scalded. "Why don't you wait here a second while I go grab some spare towels."

"I don't like this Rose."

The anger in Emmett's voice made Edward rise from the table to investigate. Bella followed behind him, cautious of what could make a gentle giant like Emmett angry. They found Rose in the entrance way of the front door hugging a woman, her head buried in Rose's neck as her soaked body heaved with sobs. Emmett was resting on the door frame opposite them, watching the scene with a scowl on his face. Emmett stood up straight when he saw them.

"Edward, Bella, why don't you finish dinner. We'll be back in, in a minute."

At the mention of Edward's name, the sobbing woman froze. She stood up, moving away from Rose and turning her now visible face to Edward.

"Tanya?" Edward gasped out, his breath leaving his body like he had been punched.

Bella shook her head between her boyfriend and Tanya as they stared at each other across the foyer.

_Tanya? As in Edward's, cheating, pregnant, ex-girlfriend, Tanya? Oh shit, _this _was not good. Not good at all._

_

* * *

_

**Kinda have Elton John - Bitch is Back running through my head at the mo! Anyone else?**

**Rec: High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType. I am probably the last person on the planet who isn't reading this but it is so awesome. A teenage Edward meets a teenage Bella except he is not allowed to touch her, at all!! How do you deal with the baggage, noto to mention the tennage hormones. A nail-biting, anxiety-inducing awesome fic!**

**Quick Question, anyone have any music recommendations, especially ones that you think about while reading PT? I am starting to loose touch with real music...living so far away from it! Radio in Australia suck...amazing country, crap music! Click the hyperlink below and let me know...please!**


	16. Its How Long?

_**So the general reaction to Chapter 15 was...WTF!!!! So given you all want to shoot or strangle me, I'll end this AN here and let you read on!

* * *

**_

Previously on Perfect Timing:

At the mention of Edward's name, the sobbing woman froze. She stood up, moving away from Rose and turning her now visible face to Edward.

"Tanya?" Edward gasped out, his breath leaving his body like he had been punched.

Bella shook her head between her boyfriend and Tanya as they stared at each other across the foyer.

_Tanya? As in Edward's, cheating, pregnant, ex-girlfriend, Tanya? Oh shit, _this _was not good. Not good at all.  
_

**Chapter 16 – It's How Long?**

* * *

**Friday, 18 March, 2010 – Week 17**

Edward blinked rapidly. Nothing was working to clear his vision. She was still there. The woman who had broken his heart into a million pieces with her deception and games. Tanya stood stock still in the foyer. He hadn't seen her in a number of months and the change to her was apparent. Gone was the corporate wear and six inch heels that were her battle armour. Instead she was dressed in loose beige slacks and a white, long smock top that skimmed down over her hips. On her shoulders hung a sopping wet dark brown trench coat that was dripping rain-water all over Rosalie's treasured black and white checkerboard floor. Her thick strawberry blonde hair hung, straggly and soaked, longer than he was used to seeing. Edward would like to have said that she had let herself go but instead she looked more earthy, more settled in her skin.

He couldn't bring himself to look at her face just yet, not prepared for the reaction and feelings it would bring with it. Instead his gaze settled on her very obvious bump. When she had left him sitting in their apartment after dropping the bombshell of her betrayal, he hadn't seen any of the physical signs of her pregnancy. Of course, he had now watched Bella grow and if he had known then what he knew now, it would have been so obvious to him. Her swollen breasts and vicious mood swings; laughing one minute and crying or ranting the next. Edward quickly counted back in his head; she must be about ready to pop.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Her voice startled him to look up. He could feel a small hand link with his; Bella. His body automatically relaxed.

"I thought you guys had dinner on Mondays. I would have never had come if..." Tanya trailed off. Her voice was small and insecure, something Edward was not used to hearing and it unnerved him.

"What do you want, Tanya?" Emmett asked, his voice low and warning. Big Brother Bear was out in full force.

"Emmett." Rosalie hissed.

"No Rosie. I know she is your friend but she screwed Edward over. I can't just..." Emmett seemed lost. "Edward, help me out here."

"Tanya, what do you want?" Edward asked as Bella's hand squeezed his.

For the first time, Tanya turned her body and looked at him face on. A small gasp to his side reminded him that he wasn't alone but what he saw on Tanya's face stopped him from looking away. There was a dark, purple bruise around one eye, and only just yellowing on the outside showing it was fresh.

"What happened?" Edward asked.

Tanya looked away in embarrassment and shame. Rose took a step forward, one hand cupping the uninjured side of Tanya's face, the other reaching out to take the handle of a small wheelie suitcase.

"He did it again didn't he?" Rose asked, a small tear slipping down her face to mirror the ones falling from Tanya's eyes.

She nodded. Her eyes slid shut slowly as her body pitched to one side. Bella and Rose shot forward to steady her. Once righted, Tanya's eyes opened again, glassy and unfocused.

"Why don't you come through to the dining room? There is some dinner sitting out." Bella tugged her gently by the elbow. "Eat, and then you can tell us what is going on."

Tanya let herself be led toward the dining room, past a stoic Edward. Rose took her towards the table as Edward pulled Bella back towards him. He partly dragged her further out into the foyer.

"What are you doing, Bella?" Edward hissed.

"What do you think, Edward? We're feeding her."

"She's my ex-girlfriend. You know, the one that tore me up and left me hollow. You saw me, how she left me. How can you play nice with her?"

Bella turned back to him quickly, staggering slightly as Bumpy threw off her centre of balance. "Play nice? Is that what this is? Edward, she is what, eight, nine months pregnant. She shows up at Rosalie's door, soaked to the bone. Someone had obviously hit her; I'm betting it was her fiancé. Jesus..." Bella struggled with the words, hindered by her frustration. Edward's conflicted face softened her resolve. "I know how worried you get about my stress levels. Imagine being as close to term as she is, what that stress is doing to her." Bella wrapped her hand around his arm, hoping her touch would calm him. "I know that the baby isn't yours and you probably think you hate her, but you will never forgive yourself if something happens to that baby."

"Bella..." Edward ran his hand through his hair, his eyes darting from side to side. "I don't know."

"I'm not going to be best buddies with her Edward. Half of me just wants to bitch slap her flat on her ass but I can't. I know I am not carrying my own child, but it doesn't mean I can't sympathise."

Edward's body slackened in defeat. "I get what you are saying Bella. It's just a shock, that's all."

"Hey bro, why don't we go get a beer and hang out in the game room?"

Bella smiled in appreciation at Emmett. Edward nodded, kissed Bella on the cheek and followed Emmett up the stairs. Bella took a deep breath before returning to the dining room. Rose was sitting next to Tanya as she picked at the plate in front of her. Bella studied Tanya from a distance. Her pallor was pale. There was a dark shadow under her uninjured eye, showing that sleep had not been a friend to Tanya. Bella made her way over to sit with them.

"What happened?" Rose asked, her hands grasping Tanya's.

"He came home yesterday. He was so mad, Rose. He'd lost out on some deal that was worth a lot of money. He had been drinking, came home around six pm." She turned to look at Rosalie, eyes so full of regret. "I've been so tired recently and James was understanding. I didn't have his dinner on the table so he just turned. I've never seen him so mad." She pleaded with them to believe her.

"It's not your fault. It's never your fault."

"It made him so mad. I never ever thought he would do this again."

"Hold up. He's done this before?" Bella exclaimed.

Tanya reeled to face her, defense written all over her face. "Just once before and he promised me he would never do it again."

"Pphft." Bella huffed.

"Don't you dare judge me! I love James. He's the father of my child. I was seven months pregnant. What else was I meant to do?"

Bella backed off slightly but rested her hand tentatively on Tanya's arm. "I wasn't judging you. I guess I just can't understand."

"How can you not understand? You're in my shoes. You're pregnant. What if Edward was to do that to you? You would stay with him."

"Firstly, Edward would never hit me. Secondly, it's not the same situation. I would never stay with someone if they hit me."

"You never know until you are there. You can't say you wouldn't stay, wouldn't believe him and try to make it work."

"Look, just 'cos Edward knocked you up, doesn't give you the right to say what I should or shouldn't do. You don't even know me."

"You're right, I don't. I only know what Edward has told me." Bella watched as Tanya rolled her eyes. She was obviously on the defensive now. "Except for how much you hurt him, Edward has never said a bad word about you. Just for the record, Edward didn't knock me up. My sister's husband did." Bella pushed herself away from the table, the chair screeching across the varnished floorboards. Bella cringed and reminded herself to apologise to Rosalie and offer to have it sanded back. Just as she passed through the dining room doorway, on the way to hunt for Edward and Emmett she heard Tanya mutter, 'that's all kinds of fucked up.' She couldn't bring herself to correct Tanya. All she wanted was Edward's arms.

Edward stomped angrily into the gams room, grabbing the white ball at the head of the pool table. He threw it forcefully down the length of the table, shattering the carefully arranged balls at the other end.

"Calm down, Edward."

"Why should I? Tanya manages to ruin everything she touches. Do you know how nervous Bella was about coming here tonight? Now my ex-girlfriend shows up..." Edward growled in frustration.

"Hey, I'm not her biggest fan either, but give her a break?"

Edward whipped around to face his brother. "Why should I? She left me for James, remember? She was the one that cheated on me."

"The picture is bigger than you. This isn't the first time it's happened?"

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, though he already had a sneaking suspicion of what Emmett would say next.

Emmett shook his head in resignation. "James' has lifted his hand to her before. Once, that I know of. She came by here one night, late. She was about five months gone I think, not long after you met Bella. Rosie knows more. All I know is that she had bruises around her wrists and on her cheek."

Edward threw the cue ball he had picked up back on the table. "What are we going to do?" Emmett looked confused, motioning to the pool table as an answer. "Grab your stuff. We have someone we need to pay a visit."

Emmett took a step forward, putting his hands on Edward's shoulders. "Do you still have feelings for Tanya? I can understand if you do, but you need to tell Bella. She's pregnant and that kind of stuff isn't good for them."

"It's because Bella is pregnant I want to teach James a lesson." Edward shouted before Emmett gave him a 'simmer down' hand motion. "A man should never hit a woman, never mind a pregnant woman."

"I agree, James has to pay but is beating him to a bloody pulp the way to go?"

"You're saying this after what you did to Royce King?"

Edward remember. Everything that Emmett had told him about Royce King.

_Royce King was Rosalie's ex-boyfriend. She had been with him when she first met Emmett at a charity gala. The King family were well-known bankers in New York, old money and stuck-up to boot. Rosalie had attended the gala as Royce's fiancé, to be paraded and shown off. She had enjoyed the attention, the thought of settling into the King family. It was all part of her life plan; marry up, hopefully happier than her parents were, have children and grow old. However, it turned out Rosalie was marrying up, she was going to be just as miserable as her parents. She had returned from visiting friends who had just had a new baby, while Royce had been having a poker night at some exclusive gentlemen's club in the city. Rosalie had met him in the living room, having been disturbed by the banging as he came in. He was drunk and high. Rosalie knew what he was capable of; he had bruised her before but never hit her. When she had refused him sex, he had dragged her by her hair through to the bedroom, beat her senseless and raped her repeatedly. Rosalie came around three days later in the hospital. It was the damage from the internal injuries that had left it difficult for her to carry children. Rosalie wanted to press charges but her family disowned her and the King's called off the engagement. Rose was left with nothing including justice. The police had come back to say that there wasn't enough evidence to prosecute and that one of Royce's poker buddies had given him an alibi. Rose was sure that the bribe his parents paid to the NYPD didn't hurt either. _

_Emmett had found Rose one day on the college campus. She was in one of his business classes and he had wondered why she had gone from the beautiful, confident woman he had seen at the gala to the skeletal thin, depressed girl in his class. Emmett sat down at the picnic table she was working at, bringing her a coffee. From their initial talks of nothing more than a few words or sentences, Emmett helped rebuild Rosalie, first as friends and then as a couple so deeply in love. When Rose told Emmett what had happened with her previous relationship, Emmett lost all control. One night, while Rose was working on her internship, Emmett went looking for Royce King. He found him, playing poker; his routing had not changed. Emmett had caught him leaving, in a back alley. Royce's beating, which left him with a broken collarbone and a shattered eye socket amongst other things, was filed away as a violent mugging. _

_Two years later Royce King struck again. He raped and beat an escort girl within an inch of her life, leaving her brain damaged. The King family closed ranks to protect the family name and fed Royce to the wolves. He was currently sitting in a federal prison serving fifteen to twenty five without chance of early parole._

"Fine, but we have to be quiet. There is no way Rosie will let me go."

Edward groaned. "You are so beyond pussy-whipped. You know that right."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "I think that's the pot calling the kettle black, bro"

The boys laughed with nerves before the tension settled in again. Slowly they made their way out the game room to the master suite, where the back staircase was. Within five minutes, they had Edward's car out of park and were rolling with the headlights off down the driveway.

Rosalie wanted to laugh. Her evening was turning into an adult version of _Dawson's Creek_. When she had started to prep the tarte tatin that afternoon, this was not how she saw this going. Rose had expected to sit Bella down, subject her to the Spanish Inquisition, make sure she was honourable and then serve dessert. Instead, Bella had caught her off guard with her sassiness and her brutal honesty when she had told Rose that she would rather walk over hot coals barefoot than intentionally hurt Edward, despite earlier appearances by hiding her pregnancy. What had really sent Rose reeling was when Bella had hugged her and whispered a thanks for being so protective of Edward and how glad Bella was to have someone there for him when she couldn't be. No one had hugged Rose, the Cullen's aside, without looking like they were being taken to the gallows. Her beauty and stature was intimidating, Rose knew that and counted on it to keep people at bay.

Now, in an event not even Nostradamus could have predicted, she was outnumbered by pregnant women in her own home and Tanya was sitting in her dining room. Her soaked trench coat had been shed and Rose had gotten her towels for her hair when Bella had left them to go find the boys.

"What _are_ you doing here, Tanya?" Rose probed gently. Lecturing Tanya had never gotten her anywhere in the past.

"I had nowhere else to go. I had to get out of the apartment. James passed out drunk after..." She motioned to her face. "I was scared about what would happen when he woke up."

"Would he have hit you again? After sobering up?"

"No, probably not. I was more scared he would come around apologising and saying it was a mistake. We both know that I have no will power. I would have went back to him and I can't risk it happening again." Tanya ran her hands over her clothed bump. "Some things are more important now."

Rose nodded; glad her friend had finally seen some sense. When Tanya came to her after James had first hit her, she had pleaded with her that she leave him. Tanya had claimed that she had sacrificed so much to be with James and how she had to fight for them. After James remembered what he had done that night, he came around to her parents, all flowers and promises that it would never happen again. Tanya had taken him back with assurances that he had changed. Rose had misgivings from previous experiences of coming from a home of domestic abuse. Things had appeared to settle down and at their lunch meetings, Tanya had seemed happier and gushed about what a wonderful husband and father James would make.

"No. What I meant was why did you come here?" Rose motioned around her. "Why didn't you go to your parents? They live closer."

Tanya's gaze shifted and she looked at the food she was still pushing around her plate. "I did. It was the first place I went. When I told them what happened, mom told me that I shouldn't have left. James is going to be my husband soon and I can't keep running to them every time we have a tiff."

"Did you explain what he did? What he's done?"

"She told me that what goes on between us in a marriage is private and that if James felt the need to hit me, there has to be a reason. I needed to learn from it and move on. I swear to God, she was like some Stepford wife. If I wasn't looking at her, I would think it wasn't my mom."

"Sounds like your mom has been there before. You know that is all crap, right?"

"Do you think daddy hit my mom?"

Rose knew she had to tread carefully. Tanya was a daddy's girl through and through. "I think that she knows more about domestic abuse than what she is letting on."

A large yawn on Tanya's part ended the conversation.

"Why don't you go to bed?" Rosalie prompted.

"I can't stay with Edward and his girlfriend here."

"Why not? We have two other guest rooms and it's not as if you are going to hear them humping in the hallway. You know how proper Edward is. Get some rest and we can talk in the morning."

Tanya nodded and kissed Rose on the top of her head, before making her way upstairs. Rose slumped in her seat. She had mentally prepared herself for being around Bella and her inconspicuous bump. Tanya was another story. Her glow, her obvious pride as she stroked her hands over her bump, protective. Proud she could carry full-term and would soon be a mom. The envy coursed through Rose, its power blurring her vision. Emmett was right, she needed some serious help. Envy over heavily pregnant women would lead nowhere good.

x-x-x-x

Emmett and Edward returned to the house an hour later. They had found James passed out drunk in the suburban house that Tanya had insisted they buy for their growing family and get James away from the temptations of the city. After chucking him into a cold shower, James had come around. He obviously knew what he had done to Tanya because he showed no surprise at why the brothers were there.

"So Tanya went running to her ex. How ironic."

"Shut up, James. You have no idea what you are talking about." Edward hissed through clenched teeth as he held a swaying James up by his drenched shirt.

"Oh, but I do." He slurred. "You're angry because I got the girl. It's your own fault. You worked all those long hours and the business trips away from the city." James pushed back, freeing himself from Edward's grasp as he staggered back a couple of steps.

"I had been after her for months before she started dating you. Precious Tanya Denali, daddy's little girl that was never allowed to date. Then when she did, she chose you, not me. You should know, Edward, I always get what I want."

Edward threw his fist out, connecting with James' jaw in a dull thud. James reeled back, falling to the ground. Slowly, he managed back to his feet, wiping a trail of blood from the corner of his mouth.

"Hit a nerve did I Eddie?"

"What happened to you? You used to be my best friend. I was going to ask you to be my best man when I proposed to Tanya."

James chuckled lowly. "You only see what you wanted to see. We were best friends, up until you got in the way of what I wanted. Now I have what was meant to be yours; the girl, the baby and, soon, the marriage." A sadistic smirk appeared in James' face. "Though, rumour has it that you have someone else and you've knocked her up. Maybe after she has popped out the kid I can go after her too. She would make lovely prey."

"You're a disgusting piece of humanity and it stops now."

Edward flew forward; catching James off guard in is drunken stupor. The first punch, to his jaw, knocked James to the ground. Edward was on him with punches to his face and upper torso. James tried to fight back but Edward was too fast and too far gone in his rage to see the damage he was doing.

A strong pair of hands gripped him under the arms and pulled him free from James' body and back onto his feet.

"You have to stop, Edward, or you're going to kill him," Emmett tried to reason.

Edward placed his hands on his knees, and was bent over,taking big, calming breaths. His brother was right. James was not worth going to jail over. He had Bella to think of now. Edward moved to stand over James. Emmett moved so Edward could see him out of the corner of his eye.

"You stay away from Bella and you stay away from Tanya. If I catch you anywhere near my family or Bella's I will tear you limb from limb. I swear to God."

James moaned and rolled over into unconsciousness.

"Come on, bro, we have to go before the girls know we are missing."

x-x-x-x

The car ride back to Emmett and Rosalie's house was silent. Edward cleaned the blood from his hands with wet wipes revealing the bruises and scratches underneath. Bella was going to kill him. Finally, Emmett pulled the car back into the driveway.

"Edward, I..."

"No Em, I don't want to talk about this again...ever. It's sorted."

Emmett nodded, knowing exactly where his brother's thoughts were at. Sometimes you did things that really didn't need to be talked out afterwards.

"So a game of pool?"

Edward chuckled. He wasn't completely back to the man who left the house just an hour before but he was getting there. "Sure."

x-x-x-x

Emmett re-racked the shattered balls from Edward's outburst earlier. Edward had handed him a beer and was busy downing half the bottle of one himself.

"So, apart from the pregnant white elephant downstairs," Emmett paused, to check what he said made sense, "Tanya I mean, you look happy. Happier than I have seen in you in a long time, Eddie."

"Don't call me, Eddie."

"Sorry, Eddie."

Edward rolled his eyes. "I am happy. Really happy. Bella is amazing. She just walked into my life, or kinda fell, and it's like she was never not there. You know what I mean?"

Emmett looked thoughtful as he took a swig of his beer. "It's like she is everything you never knew you were looking for and then bam she shows up and suddenly it's like you could never live without her." Edward nodded. "When you are away from her, it hurts. You get this weight in your chest that pulses away until you see her again but while she is away, you are constantly worried about how she is or that she is safe?"

"Yes, yes and yes. How did you know?" People often mistook Emmett for some dumb jock meat-head. Underneath the brawn, his brother had a mighty brain that oversaw the books of the best funded foundations in the US. He also had an ability to pull absolute amazing insight out of the bag, like now.

"And you stood there mocking me...You are so pussy whipped, bro, it's not funny. Well it is obviously, but not for you."

Edward retracted his previous thought. His brother was as dumb as rocks. "Thanks, Em, you're a great help." Edward deadpanned as he paused to take the first shot on the set-up pool table. "I proposed."

"WHAT?" Emmett dropped his cue. "I didn't see a ring. Congrats?"

"I didn't fully propose. It's too soon for that. I let her know that one day I would propose."

"And she didn't knock you flat on your ass for being a douche? She's a keeper, Eddie."

"I meant it. I want to marry her some day."

"I know, I know. Just don't be all...Edward...about it and work yourself up until you talk yourself out of it. Just let it happen naturally." Emmett lined up to take his shot. Are you ready for an ass-whipping, Eddie?"

x-x-x-x

Bella could hear their murmurings behind the games room door. One great thing about the hurricane of drama that Tanya had brought with her was that the spotlight had been taken off her as the shiny new thing for the Cullen's to play with. Within a second, she had Rosalie's MO worked out, even without the small snippets of information Edward had fed her. Rosalie Cullen was a Mama Bear with a bitch complex. Earning respect was something that Bella was no stranger to so she knew exactly how to handle Rose. Bella was also glad that Edward had someone such as Rose looking out for him. Slowly she pushed the door open. Edward was leaning over the pool table, his cue lined up on the felt. God, how she wished she was under him right now. That his hands were wrapped around her not the damn cue. She studied his hands and noticed the grazes on the knuckles. She had figured he was off to cause some damage when she heard the car tires crunching on the gravel as it left. A deep clearing of a throat reminded her that they weren't alone.

Emmett chuckled as he watched Bella blush and flounder as she tried to hide her lust. "You wanna take over from Eddie for a little one on one? He's getting his ass handed to him right now.

She giggled as Edward huffed. "Can't I'm afraid." She motioned to her tummy. "I can't get close enough to the table."

As if to reinforce her point, Bella let loose a huge yawn.

"Well, I am going to take my exhausted girlfriend to bed and get some sleep."

"Sure you are." Emmett retorted, laughter in his voice.

Edward answered with the middle finger salute. "Hey, I get to go to bed. You get to go downstairs and deal with your wife and Tanya."

Emmett's chuckle died in his throat and his face fell in realisation. "Not funny."

Edward led Bella up the stairs, his hand reassuringly on the small of her back. They made their way to the guest room. Bella found that Edward had carried up their bags at one point during the evening.

"I hope you aren't expecting anything tonight 'cos I am, beat. The car crash downstairs wore me out."

"No, Bella, I would never expect anything you aren't willing to offer. Plus, it's my brother's house. It's kinda like an extension of my parent's roof. Could you imagine the teasing that Emmett would happily dish out in the morning? You're not exactly quiet, sweetheart."

"Hello black pot, meet kettle. I had fun tonight. It wasn't anywhere as bad as I thought it would be."

Bella felt arms wrap around her, day old stubble nuzzling at the shell of her ear. "Thank you for today."

"Edward, Rose and Emmett are your family. I want to get to know them too."

"I also meant thank you for being so understanding about the whole Tanya thing. I can't imagine that most women would have reacted the way you did if an ex-girlfriend showed up on their boyfriend's brother's doorstep."

"See, that right there sounds like the title to a Jerry Springer show." She tugged him towards the en-suite bathroom. "Let's get these cleaned up properly."

Edward hung his head. "Are you mad?"

Bella sighed loudly. "Not really. I mean you're dumb as rocks for taking James on and violence solves nothing but I guess you won?" Edward nodded his head. "I just hope you did it for the right reasons and if you want to talk about it, you will come to me when you are ready."

Edward slipped his arms around her, laying gentle kisses on the juncture of her neck and shoulders. "Why are you so understanding?"

"Because, Edward, I am a realist. I know things happen despite how much we wish they didn't. I also realise that you do what _you_ feel is right and it's not my place to question that." She drew in a deep breath. "Now let's just go to sleep and treat tomorrow like a new day."

They dressed for bed, pyjamas firmly in place. Edward pulled Bella back to his chest, spooning her to him and resting an easy hand on Bob.

"I'm glad you fell into me, Bella Swan."

"I'm glad you caught me, Edward Cullen."

**Saturday, 19 March 2010 – 18 Weeks**

Bella and Edward left Rose and Emmett's house late the next morning. Though they had planned to be there for Saturday lunch, the beyond awkward breakfast with Tanya present proved lunch to be a bad idea. Bella took Rose up on an offer to meet up for lunch during the week. It had certainly made Edward smile to see Bella getting on so well with his family, especially after her initial nerves. Now he had a meeting with _Mama Brandon-Swan_ to look forward to and a chance to see where Bella had grown up. He was excited to meet the woman who was, for all intents and purposes, Bella's mom. Not to mention she had managed to bring up a hyper daughter such as Alice without going insane.

His thoughts drifted to Alice as he drove back to New York. Bella had drifted off to sleep moments after they left Scarsdale. Her recent changes in attitude had Edward a little on edge but he was glad she was slowly coming around to him. Her changes in attitude had left him spinning at times. When he had first met her at dinner she seemed to like him and was excited for Bella but her treatment of Bella that put in her hospital had angered Edward. Bella had explained why Alice seemed to change her opinion of him, but still it had made Edward hyper aware of everything Alice did. He wouldn't let her hurt Bella again. Bella's announcement that Alice wanted Edward in the photographs going into Bob's baby book was reassuring that Alice was coming around to him.

Bella began to stir as they reached the edge of Brooklyn. She looked adorable to Edward as she cleared the sleep from her eyes and came too.

"Where are we?"

"We're nearly home." They had decided to head back to Bella's house as it was closer to Alice, and neither of them had interest in being in Manhattan over the weekend. "What do I need to wear?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. I would bet my career that Alice has been by and laid out what she wants you to wear.

"How serious are these photo shoots?"

"Well usually, Alice is okay with me being in sweats or just in my work clothes but I think as you are going to be there, she may be making these official photos." She noted the confused look on Edward's face. "A professional photographer and set-up. You'll see. Alice never does things half mast. It's all or nothing."

Suddenly Edward was afraid for his life.

x-x-x-x

Edward had been right to fear for his life. When they had arrived back at Bella's apartment, clothes were indeed sitting on the bed waiting for them. Bella had emerged from the bedroom wearing smart-looking, dark beige trousers with a white tank top. She had moved around her bedroom muttering something along the lines of 'too cold, what was she thinking?' She grabbed one of Edward's white, button-down shirts and settled herself down. Edward was wearing a pair of dark indigo jeans that sat low on his hips. He had reached up to tuck Bella's overnight bag away, his white singlet riding up and exposing the treasure trail of muscles that lead to, what was becoming, Bella's favourite happy place. It had taken a fair amount of effort for Bella to stay in her place on the bed instead of jumping Edward where he stood. Her recent horniness had her thinking back to her pregnancy with Cassie. It had been a normal, bog standard pregnancy, hitting her due date bang on and Cassie weighing in at average. Bumpy, however, was being anything by normal. She would love to attribute her newly found arousal to the hormones that were currently occupying her body but she knew it was more likely to be the sex-god she was dating.

When they arrived at Alice's they found Jasper sitting in the living room, sipping on a Corona and lime. He and Edward swapped a complicated handshake that had Bella bamboozled. She was glad to see that her brother-in-law and her boyfriend were getting on.

"Where is Alice?" Bella asked.

"She's upstairs. I may or may not have given Cassie a chocolate biscuit that Cassie may or may not have smeared down her green dress."

"So I am gathering that you may or may not be in the dog house."

"There is no doubt of that darlin'. Alice said that you are to head on through. The photographer is through there and Alice wants some shots of just you two. I'm gonna stay here and sit on my hands."

Bella and Edward made their way through to the dining room, hand in hand, to find that the dining room table was missing as were the chairs. In its place was a white back drop, draped over the floor and up the wall. An average height man was fiddling with a large camera set up on a tripod.

"Hi, I'm Graham, I'll be the photographer today."Edward moved forward and shook his hand while introducing them. "Could you just make your way over to the white background? There should be an off-white cross on the floor, just stand there for me while I get in focus."

Bella and Edward made their way over as directed, hands firmly grasped to each other. Bella stood on the cross and Edward stood behind her, his arms over her shoulders and resting not so subtly on the tops of her breasts. Suddenly, Bella's body stiffened in surprise and a gasp escaped her lips.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Edward asked his face full of concern.

"He's kicking." She grasped a hand from her breast and pulled it further down to the left side of her bump. "Here, feel." She whispered into his ear. "He's being really active today."

Edward moved around to Bella's left side, crouching down beside her. She moved her hands from her tummy to his hair, running her fingers through Edward's tussled locks. He almost purred in contentment as he ran his hands over the area where Bella had indicated. Finally, he was answered with a quick tap under the palm of one hand. He quickly looked around for Alice before he peeled her white tank top from her body and uncovered the rounding mound of Bob.

"Now, you have to give your Auntie Belly a break. You may think that her bladder is perfect for football practise but it is no fun for your Auntie. Wait until your mommy is around before you try it again, she wants to feel how strong you are getting." Edward felt a sharp tap under his hand again. "I know we have five months left until we can meet but I want you to know that your Auntie Belly and your Uncle Edward love you very much and can't wait to meet you."

Edward placed a kiss over the area where his hand had been before standing up and placing a quick kiss on Bella's lips, her eyes glazed over with tears. Neither of the lovebirds noticed as Graham clicked away in the background, committing the private moment to film.

"Eddie." Came a startling cry as Cassie bounded into the room.

She was starting to sound so much like Alice, it was scary. Edward pulled down Bella's tank top and steadied himself as Cassie ran full speed into his waiting arms. He stood them up, spinning her around as she squealed in laughter.

"How come she is allowed to call you, Eddie?"Jasper asked from the doorway to the dining room.

"Because she is cute and can get away with it."

x-x-x-x

The photo session that evening had been fun. Bella lay in bed, completely exhausted but overwhelmingly happy. Edward appeared out her en-suite, topless with loose pyjama pants that sat low on his hips. Bella squirmed. If she wasn't so tired, she would have jumped him in an instant. Edward slipped under the covers, pulling Bella over his chest. Bella snuggled deeper, her ear resting over his reassuring heartbeat. Their legs intertwined, Edward's hands rubbing circles on Bob.

"So you managed to survive a photo session with most of my bat-shit crazy family and you're still willing to tuck-up in bed with me?"

Edward chuckled. "That's nothing. You managed to sit through dinner with my highly inappropriate brother and his pseudo-frosty wife not to mention my ex-girlfriend showing up and creating the most awkward breakfast since Harry first fucked Sally."

"Just another day in the Swan/Cullen life. I was thinking..."

"Very dangerous Swan." Edward retorted.

"Funny man." She gave him a little tickle just under his rib causing him to squirm away from her slightly. "I was thinking that we should swap. I would kinda like to adopt Emmett. I would give you Alice and all her craziness and I would take Emmett and his half-baked...ness."

"You know, we could swap without all the adoption papers. When we get married, what is mine is yours. Bat-shit crazy family and all."

"Is that another proposal? Jeeze, you are so crap at this." Bella teased. "It's meant to be all down on one knee with heralds of angels playing harps and violins."

"Yeah, because that sounds like us. The only way I will get down on one knee is picking you up when you fall over thin air."

Bella laughed so hard that a snort escaped from her nose. "Sounds about right." Bella turned to him, her eyes burning into his. "I really do love you, so very much." Bella muttered as her eyelids began to slide closed in sleep.

"I've been waiting my whole life for you." He brushed the back of his fingers over her cheek, Bella sighing in contentment. "Sleep, sweetheart."

Edward watched as Bella drifted off, her breathing deep and even. Her face so relaxed as if she didn't carry the burden of life on her shoulders. Bella in her essence and she was all his.

* * *

**Everyone with me...awwww! He's such a sweetie. So updates will be coming every two weeks for a month or so as i get ready for my conference, meeting the President of the USA and going on holiday to NYC and catching up with my best buddy Mattie. I really hope you will stick with me. We have about 9 chapters to go before i think i will be finished so not long now i promise! **

**Also a down-on-my-knees thanks to my beta Tina who is a star in her own right and so busy yet still willing to be my beta!**


	17. Mamma Mia!

**I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get this to you all. I have been on holiday on the east coast of the US (a huge hello to anyone who is reading from D.C, Boston or NYC). I have had sporadic access to the internet and see the A/N below for the reason there may be a small delay in the update for Chp 18.**

**A/N – Can I just put out an international BOLO? I had my bag stolen in Bondi, Australia, on Wednesday night. To whoever took it, can I just have my writing notebook back? Keep the cards (cancelled) and the cash, my business cards etc. But can I just have my notebook back – no questions asked? It contains the last chapter to PT, my ideas for Seeking Harmony and all my quotes and possible plot for an original fiction piece. In other words, I want my soul back please – Thanks**

**Chapter 17 – Mamma Mia!

* * *

**

**Wednesday, 7 April 2010 – Week 20**

The shrill barking of her cell phone signalling a text message pulled Bella of the zone she found herself in.

_Where are you? __People are staring at me like I'm some kind of Hairless Wonder of the Nether World_. _– R_

Bella slammed the pencil down on the draft board, careful not to disturb her drawings. She still preferred the old fashioned pencil and onion paper when she was battering out some initial designs. Right now she so was late to meet Rosalie for coffee and no one left Rosalie Cullen sitting in a coffee shop on her own.

"Bella..." A small voice shouted after her as she fled her office in hurry.

"Gotta run, Angela."

"Bella, you still have a pencil in your hair." Angela managed between her giggles.

Bella pulled the yellow and black 2B pencil from the sloppy bun at the nape of her neck. The hazelnut curls fell in waves, loose down her back. Along with the healthy glow and permanent state of horniness, the pregnancy had made her hair grow like a demon in thicker, softer waves. Edward would spend hours running his hands through it. Bella swore that he could keep her permanently pregnant just for her thick locks and raging hormones.

"There you are." Rosalie called out, pulling a chair out for Bella.

Bella and Rosalie had been meeting for coffee every couple of days since the disastrous dinner that had been their first meeting. Tanya had now moved out of Rosalie and Emmett's house and into a rented apartment until she could find something more suitable and have the baby. It turned out that Tanya was eight months pregnant and she was carrying heavily. Rosalie had held herself from mentioning Tanya, trying to save Bella's feelings and not to alienate herself from her new friend. As much as Bella wanted to hate Tanya for the pain she had caused Edward, Tanya's betrayal had brought her Edward, and that was something she could never wish away. Bella was also concerned for Tanya, pregnant woman to pregnant woman. She wanted Tanya out of their lives, but she was one of Rosalie's friends, and Bella was aware how few of those Rosalie had.

Hopefully, today, Bella would be introducing her to another one. Bella was introducing Rosalie to Alice. Ice Queen meets ADHD. Their meeting could go either way, but she had made sure that the Jasper was on alert.

"Sorry, I got caught up in work. I'm here now." Bella lowered herself into her seat and shifted until she was comfy.

Bumpy was growing fast and she was adjusting to the change in her balance stanch. More than once, Edward had caught her as she stood up from the couch or a seat and continued moving forward under Bumpy's additional weight. He joked that he was getting in some practice for Bella's normal klutziness. He had earned a smack upside the head for that little comment and the threat of no sex for seventy two hours. Edward had shut up after that.

"I ordered one of those fruity, herbal tea things you seem so attached to. How are you still functioning without caffeine?"

"Ask Edward, I was grumpy bitch for the first two weeks, but I seem to have settled down a bit. It wasn't about the caffeine for me, well not really, it was more the soothing warmth of a hot drink. Herbal tea does that. Plus there are no problems getting up in the morning when you have a one pound baby sitting on your bladder, with a couple of pounds of amniotic fluid, and giving it a kick every now and again."

Bella caught the look of sadness that passed over Rosalie's face before she buried it under a fake smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. Hopefully that would start changing today. Emmett and Rosalie had seriously been giving surrogacy some thought over the week, talking it through with their councillor. Rose was aware that surrogacy wasn't for everyone, but she wanted to try for a child that would be theirs first, before she explored other options such as adoption.

"Now that I can believe." Rose broke out her first genuine smile since Bella had sat down. "So I finally get to meet the famous Alice today?"

"Yep." Bella watched as the pixie-frame of her sister walked down the sidewalk towards them. "Now I warned you. She is like the Energizer bunny of speed. But she is my sister."

Even though you couldn't see Alice's actual body most of the time, you could watch as the crowded sidewalk parted for her.

"Bellllla." Alice rang out as she jumped up and down on the balls of her feet, hand waving maniacally in the air.

"I see you Alice. Come and meet Rosalie." Finally Alice settled into her seat. "Rosalie, this is my sister, Alice. Alice, this is Edward's sister-in-law Rosalie."

Alice clapped her hands rapidly and pushed Rose's outstretched hand out of the way. Instead she pulled Rose towards her, into a hug. Rose's hands hung limply by her side, her face contorted in shock. Slowly, her hands made their way to Alice's back, patting her softly a couple of times before Alice released her to sit up straight.

"And how are Bella and my little boy doing?" Alice ran her hands over Bella's smock.

Ever since Alice had first felt Bumpy kick, she had taken it as free reign to touch Bella's bump as often a she wanted. Not that Bella minded, it made Alice smile and it was worth bearing the invasion of her personal space-bubble for.

"Aside from the two-am toilet wake-up calls, we are fine. No more morning sickness, I have more energy and I have had the most amazing craving for Banoffee Pie recently. I sent Edward out at eleven last night to go find me some. He came back looking like someone had kicked his puppy. He couldn't find an open bakery. I found him, this morning, Googling all night bakers. Apparently there is one in the Village."

The ladies laughed and gossiped as they waited for their ordered lunch. Alice had insisted on feeding Bella before she went back to the office. Bella grinned as she watched Rose get the 'twenty questions' treatment from Alice that the Spanish Inquisition would have been proud of. Bella knew what game her sister was playing, it was after all, Alice who had asked Bella to arrange the meet and greet with Rose.

Before she knew if, her late lunch hour was up and she needed to be getting back to the office.

"I have to go guys, my lunch is up and I have a ton of things I need to finish before I take my days off next week." Bella smiled at the thought of the trip she and Edward would be making to see Joanna in Forks. "Please behave and play nice."

Bella left the two women sitting in the spring sunshine, knowing that this was possibly the first step to helping Rose realise her dreams.

x-x-x-x

"_I'm a pixie  
I'm a paperdoll  
I'm a cartoon  
I'm a chipper cheerful free for all  
_

_And I light up a room  
I'm the color me happy girl  
Miss live and let live  
And when they're out for blood  
I always give"_

Bella didn't even need to check her caller ID to know who was calling her. Jasper had kindly cut the song to loop only on the first verse before he uploaded it on to her phone. It was one of the mildly mischievous things that Bella and Jasper got up to behind Alice's back. Luckily Alice had never heard it; she hated being referred to as anything remotely linked to fairies or supernatural beings. Her reasoning was that good things come from God, in small packages and should not be further belittled by mythical comparisons. Alice had also come to this conclusion three sleep deprived weeks after Cassie's birth while chugging down her fourth margarita.

"Hello Alice."

"How did you know it was me?"

"Um...Caller ID."

"Fine. I just wanted to fill you in on my chat with Rose."

"Please just tell me that she's still speaking to me and Edward won't have to have to play peacemaker."

"Silly Bella! Of course she still likes you. Who couldn't? We did have a chat about you, well you as a surrogate. She and Emmett have been talking about maybe finding one to help carry their child. Rose is concerned that she will struggle to bond if she doesn't carry the baby. I explained how we were while you were carrying Cassie, bonding exercises and the support groups. We must have talked for a couple of hours. Anyway, she and Emmett are coming around for dinner while you and Edward are in Forks seeing mom."

Bella waited until she was sure Alice had finished. Interrupting Alice mid-monologue was never a good idea.

"So you are hijacking my future family additions before I have even had a chance to get to know them." Bella joked.

"It's not like that. Once you get past the icy exterior, Rose is actually nice."

Bella rolled her eyes; she of course knew this about Rosalie. "Well just don't go driving them away. I want to adopt Emmett at some point and you coming on too strong won't look good for me in the adoption courts."

Alice laughed before hanging up, leaving Bella smiling at just how much her world had grown in such a short time.

**Friday, 9 April 2010 – 21 Weeks**

Bella let herself into Edward's apartment. The action still brought a smile to her face. It made her remember how Edward had presented her with the key every time she set foot through the front door.

_**Flashback**_

_Bella had been settling down in the living room to catch up on _Gossip Girl_, her guilty pleasure, that had been recorded to Edward's TIVO. Bella had thought that Edward was taking a shower. He had just come in from playing basketball with Jasper and Emmett. Emmett and Edward had invited Jasper to come play with their team. A bit of male bonding time. Sweat droplets created enticing runs down the hard planes of his lean, muscular body The temptation to follow him was there but soon quashed as her stiff muscles groaned from the attempt to get up. In the twenty minutes it had taken Edward to shower, her body had calmed down and tiredness had started to claw at her. She jumped when she felt his hot breath on her neck, brushing over the sensitive skin of her earlobe._

"_I have something I want to give you."_

_Bella did a mental inventory. Her birthday was still five months away. There were no anniversaries coming up that she knew of. He moved around to the front of her and fell down onto one knee. Bella squirmed slightly. She knew Edward wanted to marry her, but she had imagined that proposals and weddings would come after she had given birth. She was in no way ashamed of the situation regarding her role as a surrogate for Alice and Jasper, but explaining it to Edward's friends and less close family was a different thing all together. Then again, he had said he had something to __**give**__ not __**ask**__. _

"_Okay. Am I going to like this?_

_Edward shrugged. He pulled out a black velvet box, about the size of a small jewelery presentation box._

_Bella tried to move backwards, further into the back of the couch. Its soft furnishings let her go so far before it refused to give anymore._

"_You know...Edward you don't have to..." Bella stuttered as Edward slowly opened the box. Bella covered her eyes._

"_Bella, you can open your eyes. It's not going to kill you."_

_Bella slowly peaked out from in between her fingers. The box was indeed a ring box but instead of a band and diamond, a silver key attached to a key ring reading '_It's a Boy_' with a black fob. _

"_A key?" The relief in her voice was beyond comical._

"_A key! It's to my apartment and the fob to the parking garage."_

"_You're asking me to move in?" Bella exclaimed, though the thought of playing house with Edward had crossed her mind more than once._

"_No, not right now. It's so you can come and go as you want to. I work late sometimes and I want you to be able to come here, where you'll be safe. I know what monsters are on the streets and hide in dark alleyways. _

_A couple of days later, Bella had keys cut for Edward. She had left them swinging from a lanyard hooked around the rear view mirror of his car. The attached note read:_

House Rules:

1. Services the Landlord's needs in every way

2. Dirty boxers go **in** the laundry hamper, not beside it

3. Toilet seat should be lowered after use

Rent: At least ten kisses a day and a Banoffee Pie as and when required.

_That night, Bella returned home to find Edward on Skype to his mom as she talked him through how to make Banoffee Pie from scratch._

_**End Flashback**_

As expected, the apartment was empty. Edward had sent Bella a text message earlier in the day to let her know he was working late. Things had been hectic for the past two days, both trying to get work finished so that they could take a couple of days in Forks to spend with Joanna. She was looking forward to seeing her step-mom. She hadn't seen her since Christmas and Bella missed her greatly.

Bella wandered through the apartment to Edward's bedroom, dropping her keys in the glass dish by the door and her purse by the sofa in the open plan living room. She thought better of it, picking it up and placing her purse out of the way in the coat closet. Though Bella was more than ready to spend the rest of her life with Edward, she wasn't ready to share an apartment on a permanent basis with him yet. While Edward wasn't OCD-style clean, he did like things in a certain order and didn't adjust to change to his physical space well. Bella had brought over a spare set of her creams and make-up so she wouldn't have to keep juggling her belongings back and forth for when she planned to stay the night on weeknights. She had set some of them out beside the sink in the en-suite and on the vanity Edward had purchased for her. When she went to the bathroom for her morning routine, she found that her face scrub and moisturiser were gone. After some hunting she found them in a hidden cabinet, what she had first thought was a mirror. Bella on the other hand wasn't a messy person by nature but she liked a slight clutter. It wasn't the end of the world if the bed comforter was just folded back in the morning as opposed to fully made. Or that the dishes sat in the sink from breakfast until they were put in the dishwasher when she got in from work. It was just a kink in their relationship they had to work out or compromise on.

Bella made her way into Edward's bedroom, shedding her work clothes as she moved. She pulled out a pair of Edward sweats and one of his t-shirts. His sweats, rolled up at her ankles and rolled once at the waist, fitted her comfortably. Her usual yoga pants were starting to chafe now that her belly button had popped out. It was sensitive and sore from the rubbing of her work pants.

Dr. Grace had recommended some exercises on top of her Kegel exercises to try and loosen her stiff muscles. She also suggested it might help Bella with her balance, though nothing in twenty eight years had helped with her clumsiness so she wasn't holding out hope now. Bella put her hands to the wall, near the front door, and kept her left one in position while stretching her right behind her, foot on the floor. She could feel her calf muscles stretch, the blood flowing through them much easier. She moved to change legs when the keys jingling in the front door drew her attention.

"Bella, I assure you that the walls of the apartment block can hold themselves up."

"You're a funny man, Edward." Bella turned around and stretched out her other leg. She noticed the smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes and the tired lines on his face.

Edward walked away to their bedroom, changing from his suit into something more comfortable. He came back to the living room to find Bella on a yoga mat on all fours. He watched as she flexed her back upwards, groaning as her muscles stretched themselves. Edward felt himself harden and was thankful that he had changed into loose fitting pyjama bottoms. He adjusted himself and cleared his throat.

"Okay, Bella, I give up. What are you doing?"

"Stretching exercises. Dr. Grace recommended them. I've been feeling a little...stiff." She raised her gaze and looked pointedly at Edward's crotch.

He looked back at her with a smirk. "Anything I can help you with?"

"Yeah, help me up." Bella held up a hand as Edward slowly helped her to her feet. "Okay, now stand here. Arms out."

Edward found Bella's hands in his as she used him as a support. Slowly she stretched her quads. Her moans and sighs as she stretched turned Edward on even further. His emotions were all over the place and Bella wasn't helping.

"Bella, you are going to stop making those noises."

Once she stood on both feet again, he pulled her tight to him. His lips claimed her, rough and full of passion. Pulling her bottom lip in between his as Bella submitted to his whims. Slowly he turned the, moving backwards until Bella felt the wall at her back. All he wanted to do was block the thoughts, thoughts that had plagued him since the dinner at Emmett's a few weeks back. Edward pushed harder into her, trying to show just how much she had turned him on with her low and throaty moans. He could feel the hardened bump pressing into him but still he pushed harder. Small hands pushed at his chest.

"Edward…" Bella mumbled against his lips. Still he paid her no heed. "Edward, you need to stop."

She pushed him harder until he backed away but she kept her hands flat against his chest. The fear and despair in his eyes shocked her before he looked away from her, shame on his face.

Cupping his cheek, she brought his gaze back to hers. "What happened today?"

"I ran into James, Tanya's fiancé." Edward muttered, his voice full of anger. "His black eye has faded."

"You mean ex-fiancé? Rose said she had left their house and moved into a rented apartment."

"No. James took great pleasure in telling me that Tanya was going back to him, moving back into their apartment."

"She's going back to him, after what he did?"

Edward nodded solemnly. "He had the nerve to gloat about how he could give Tanya what I never could. She must have told him about you because he was goading me with how even you were carrying someone else's child. You have no idea how much I wanted to hit him again. I could feel it building in me, the anger, the monster in me wanting to hit back."

"That would just bring you down to his level and you're beyond that, honey." Bella soothed him, running tight circles on the apple of his cheek with her thumb. "Tanya will do what she wants. Maybe when she is a mom and has to protect her own child she will see sense." Bella pulled Edward's arms around her waist.

Though cautiously, he hugged her back. "I don't think I would be able to control myself so well if someone ever hurt you. The need to…protect you; it's overwhelming sometimes." Bella saw the anguish, the tortured storm back in his eyes after such a lengthy absence. "I never want to hurt you, Bella. I couldn't live without you. I wouldn't want to."

Bella pulled his head into the crook of her neck, soothing him through his torment as he had for her on previous occasions. "Nothing is going to hurt me. I know you would never hurt me on purpose." She pulled him back and placed her hands on both sides of his face so he was forced to look at her. "We will both say things that will hurt the other. It's part of the course in a relationship but we will get through it, together. I love you so much, you know that right?" Edward managed a small smile and nodded. "James is wrong in one area. Someday it will be your child I am carrying. You'll be a daddy someday too, just as I will be a mommy.

Edward smiled, the storm in his eyes finally abating. "I hope they get your hair. There is no way I would wish this uncontrollable mop on anyone."

"I like it. It gives me something to pull and hold on to." She looked up at him, glad for the shift in atmosphere. "Have you eaten?" Edward shook his head. "How about I cook us some stir-fry?"

"Sounds great. I love you." Bella nodded as Edward held on to her for a few seconds longer before letting her go to the kitchen.

"Edward, will you please stop doing that." She put a reassuring hand on his vibrating knee and he stilled. "You have nothing to be nervous of. Joanna is going to love you, just as much as I do."

"I know, it's just it's my first time really meeting the family. Tanya was different. I knew her dad through business and her family is friends with mine."

"Trust me. You have Alice singing your praises now-a-days and they don't come easy. Joanna just wants me to be happy and you make me happy." She pecked him on the lips.

"Hummm…" Edward smiled but looked unconvinced. Bella giggled. "What?" Edward asked.

"Nothing, just now you know how I felt when I first met Emmett and Rosalie. Meeting your mom over Skype doesn't quite count."

"Yeah but this is your and Alice's mom, Jasper's mother-in-law. I have to impress!"

"Just use that famous Cullen charm of yours and you'll do just fine."

"_Ladies and gentleman, we are now approaching Port Angeles. The weather is a dizzily, forty degrees with further storms predicted overnight. Thank you for flying with us. We hope you have a safe journey to your final destination and we look forward to seeing you on your return flight."_

After a couple of minutes of taxiing, the plane made a final stop on the tarmac, the steps lowered from the doorway. Cool air flooded the front of the cabin where Edward and Bella were seated. The airhostess had kindly asked if Bella and Edward would like to depart first, giving them a quick exit from the plane. Being pregnant did have its advantages aside from the awe-inspiring sex drive.

Bella could see Joanna all bundled up, waving from behind the safety fence beside the tarmac. Bella nudged Edward and drew his attention to her step-mom before waving back. If possible, Edward blanched further. Bella let go of his hand and surged forward, meeting Joanna half way over the tarmac. Joanna leaned in close to Bella, whispering something in her ear. Edward watched from a few steps away as Bella threw her head back in laughter, a delightful blush on her cheeks that had nothing to do with the chilly spring weather.

"Jo, meet Edward. Edward, this is my evil step-mother, Joanna." Bella looked between them with a coy look on her face.

Joanna took the two steps between them and ignored Edward's outstretched hand, drawing him in for a tight hug. "Step-mom's detest Disney for bringing out Cinderella. Could you ever imagine Alice as an evil step-sister?"

Edward wiggled his eyebrows in response, the smile on his face letting her know they shared a similar sense of humour.

"Let's get you to the car before you get a chill." Joanna threw an arms over Bella's shoulder and pulled her against her side as they began walking out of the terminal and towards Joanna's waiting Toyota RAV-4.

Edward opted to sit in the back while Bella and Joanna sat up front, gossiping about the latest goings on in Forks. Bella had explained to Edward it was a small town but it sounded more like a TV soap opera than a quiet, forest town. Apparently, someone called Mrs. Cope had turned cougar and had nabbed herself a man half her age. Also, Mrs. Bradley had taken a soil rotator to her husband's vegetable patch after complaining he spent more time in his shed than with her. Despite the gossiping, it was good to see Bella glowing with happiness. Small touches of comfort from Joanna bringing a wide smile to her face.

Though things had been going well for the couple since their disastrous three-week break, there was still the everyday stresses that a relationship brought not to mention their busy lives, between working and then Bella's commitments to Alice and Jasper. It was good for them both to feel set free from the worries that waited for their return to New York. It was also the last chance either of them would have before Bella gave birth so Edward wanted to enjoy their five days away.

x-x-x-x

The car pulled up to a two-story house that once looked like it had been sent back from the forest. Now the forest had encroached on the back garden, almost at one with the house. Edward fell in love with the house straight away. Its entire structure exuded memories and thoughts of home. It made sense, given Bella's personality, that this is where she would call him. It was so unlike his own childhood home. His parents' home was at least twice, if not three times the size of Joanna's. It had been completely renovated by his mom, Esme, to look contemporary with clean lines and lots of glass. It didn't make it less of a home because it held the memories of his family, whereas Bella's childhood home held the memories of generations.

After settling in, unpacking some of their clothes and grabbing a quick make-out session on Bella's childhood bed, Bella and Edward went downstairs to join Joanna for dinner. Bella wandered over to the fireplace, leaving Edward at the bottom of the staircase. He watched as she ran her fingers over a large photo frame.

"Hi Daddy, I'm home." Bella muttered softly, her fingers caressing the frame.

She stared wistfully at the frame before remembering that Edward was still standing in the room. She looked back at him with glassy eyes. He rushed forward to hold her as she buried her face in his chest. After a few minutes, she seemed to calm, looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes.

"It smells like chicken soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. You'll think you have died and gone to heaven once you taste Jo's soup."

"I'm in heaven every time I am with you."

Bella took a moment before bursting into laughter. "Now that was cheesy!"

Edward laughed with her. "True, but I got you to smile again. Is that your dad?" Edward pointed to the picture of a man standing up in full fishing gear, right down to his green waders, looking very proud as he held a large trout in his two hands.

"That is Chief Charlie Swan. Also known as my dad. It was taken by his best friend, Billy Black, the weekend before he died."

Joanna came into the living room from the kitchen, wiping her hands on the apron around her waist. "Ah, here you are. Dinner is almost ready. I thought you might prefer something lighter."

"Thanks Jo. I was just showing, Edward, my dad."

"He really liked to fish. We served that one up at a res barbeque. You shouldcount yourself lucky, Edward. I can guarantee you that you would have come back here to find Charlie cleaning his shotgun. I still have it though." She pointed to the idle gun that was propped up in the corner. She chuckled at the worried look on his face. "Don't worry, we had it decommissioned. I'm sure you would have been just fine, you obviously love our girl."

"I do, Joanna, very much so." Edward murmured, kissing Bella's hair.

"I can see that. Now let me have a look at my grandson." Bella turned around in Edward's arms and presented her engorged belly. "Wow, you are a lot bigger now." She ran her hands over the bump. Does he have a name yet?

"Bob."

"Bumpy"

Bella and Edward exclaimed at the same time before dissolving in peals of laughter.

"Bumpy! Wow, I bet Alice is loving that!"

Joanna was interrupted by a buzzer from the kitchen. She ushered Edward and Bella into the kitchen in front of her. She glanced at the picture of Charlie and smiled. It was good to have one of her girls home.

**Sunday, 11 April 2010 – Week 21**

Edward pulled Joanna's SUV into the gravel car park of Fork Cemetery. Bella had woken him late, the smell of bacon and pancakes hovering deliciously in the air. They had been out the night before having dinner and drinks with friends. Word had got around that Bella was in town and everyone wanted to catch up, especially as the grapevine rumoured that she had brought a man home with her too. The night had lasted into the wee hours. Her friends Jessica, Mike, Lauren, Tyler and Eric taking great pleasure at swapping tales about Bella's high school days. He also picked up a few nuggets about Alice but not as many as she was two years above them. It was good to see Bella as relaxed and animated in a larger group of people. Normally she was more of a listener than a talker.

"I want you to visit my dad with me."

Edward gave Bella a confused look as his sleep idled brain recalled that Charlie Swan had died. Slowly the haze cleared and his thoughts with it. "You mean his grave? Of course I will."

For the first time since they had arrived, the sun was shining and the sky was relatively free of clouds. Bella had warned him that Forks wasn't the most weather-cheery place in the world and he believed it. The path up to Charlie's grave was well worn and there were a few other families dotted around, Sunday a popular day for visiting family members. Charlie's grave was well kept, no wilting flowers and over growing weeds like other graves near-by.

"Jo comes up here a lot to sit and talk to him. She doesn't bring him flowers. My dad was never really a flowers kinda guy."

Bella ran her hand lovingly over the granite headstone, just as she had the picture frame. Bella had told him that she would usually sit with him when she visited but given the wet ground and the fact that when she sat down, Bella struggled to get back up again; Bella chose to stand side by side with Edward.

"Dad, this is Edward." Bella introduced them as Edward made a bob with his head in greeting. "He's my everything, I wish you could have met him." Edward wrapped his arm tighter around Bella as she started to cry. "I love him so much and he loves me too. You always said that you wanted me to have what you and Jo had one day. I think I have that now. Alice likes him and Jo is already talking more grandchildren. "

Edward looked up in surprise. She had failed to pass on that one to him.

"I know you would have sat there at the kitchen table, polishing your side arm, shot gun by your side. I think you would have liked him though. He's a good man, he takes good care of me." The day brightened as a cloud moved away in the sky. "I know you are watching so I'm going to go with that as a sign you like him too."

Bella pressed her lips to her hand before laying it on the headstone. "Goodbye daddy."

* * *

**So Edward survives the Joanna Test (as apposed to the Charlie Test) and lives to be the apple-eyed wonder in all our worlds. I will give a sneeky peak to the person that can name Alices ringtone song. Be honest, no using Google - thats cheating and no one likes a cheater!**

**Once again, a HUGE thank you to my beta who has had it hectic over the last couple of months and is still able to beta for little ol' me. I almost made her cry with this one...at the ending not at the really bad spelling, grammer and missed words! Thank you Tina!**


	18. Practice, Practice, Practice

**Woohoo, another chapter! Sorry its been so long. This chapter is dedicated to IsabellaRose (over on Twilighted) who was the only one who got that the ringtone for Alice is 'Pixie' by ****Ani DiFranco. Thank you all for being honest and not using Goggle...its so overrated!**

**

* * *

****Chapter 18 – ****Practice, Practice, Practice **

* * *

**Monday, 31 May, 2010 – Week 28**

Edward could hear the soft thud of the bass before he even opened the front door. A small, content smile graced his lips, replacing his earlier blank expression. To say he hated Mondays would be an understatement. This Monday in particular had been worse. The financial crisis was really starting to bite and had finally found his company. Companies all over the world were going bust or closing up their stock options. As a smaller custodian firm, Edward's company had managed to escape the need for a bail out and the mass layoff's that had become common place in Investments and Banking. However, even though Edward's team had been doing well, the bosses had flown in and pulled all the teams into a series of meeting that had lasted most of the day. His only relief was coming home to Bella.

He opened the door and the electronic beat of the music grew louder. As he rounded the corner into the open kitchen area, he could see Bella standing by the island, a large chopping knife in her hand. She had promised him honey mustard chicken for dinner and the thought made his mouth water. Bella hadn't heard him come in over the music. She was dancing in the spot, her head bopping to the beat of the music; a possible deadly combination given Bella's penance for clumsiness.

_"Well it's alright to be myself, _  
_Now I've Learned To Stand _  
_Well it's OK to be just who I am _  
_I've spent years really hatin' me _  
_longing to be friends (friends) _  
_Now I hope that you can understand, _  
_This Is Who I Am"_

Edward smiled at the look of pure joy on her face. He cleared his throat now that the song had finished. Bella jumped, dropping the knife, luckily clear of her feet, as her eyes flew open.

"Fuck, you almost gave me a heart attack, Edward."

Edward chuckled. He really must have caught her off guard for her to swear. She picked up the knife and put it in the sink, pulling out a fresh one from the drawer.

"How was work?" Bella asked as she finished chopping the vegetables in front of her.

"Not the best of days. The bosses flew in so I had all day meetings, back to back. How was lunch with Rose and Alice?"

_Alice, Bella and Rose had formed a tight friendship in the months since Tanya had shown up at Rose's door. They met for lunch at least once a week and Rose and Emmett had become a regular at Bella's house on the weekends for dinner. Alice, Jasper and Cassie had joined them last weekend for a grill out. A heat wave had descended on the Eastern Seaboard and they had taken full advantage of it. _  
_Emmett and Rose had decided to go down the surrogacy route in order to have a child of their own. Edward was so proud of Bella and Alice as they helped talk his brother and sister-in-law through the pro's and con's as well as helping to guide them through the ups and downs. They had quickly found someone through recommendations of Alice and Rose and began the fertility treatment needed to harvest her eggs. _

"Good, good. Alice and Jasper are really looking forward to their weekend away. We still okay to look after Cassie?"

Edward nodded. Alice and Jasper were heading to LA for an industry awards' dinner. "They do realise that technically they are going to work, right?"

Bella laughed. "Jasper knows but if the French Maid's uniform Alice bought this afternoon is anything to go by, Alice is planning on a lot of non-work related activities."

Edward blinked, trying to clear the horrendous image of Alice playing dress-up. 'FUTURE SISTER-IN-LAW' flashed as a mantra through his head. Bella chuckled as she watched Edward process what Bella had long been privy to; the details of her sister's sex life. Alice lacked a verbal filter as far as that topic was concerned. Bella smirked as Edward came around again. She reached for the remote control and turned the music up again before moving back to chopping vegetables.

Edward walked away, chuckling, towards their bedroom for a shower. He had never really seen himself as the type to settle down into domestic bliss. Even with Tanya, they had both been so independent. Their own lives were separate from each other. There would be no coming home from the office to the smell of dinner cooking, Tanya preferred to be seen eating out nor could she cook. Edward paused by the doorway that led from the kitchen to the bedrooms. Bella was now back in her own world, Kelly Clarkson taking a turn in blasting in from the sound system. Edward guessed that Bella was playing her 'chick power' playlist on her iPod. For the first time since coming home, Edward actually took a look at what Bella was wearing. Her navy shorts were showing off her shapely legs, bare feet tapping against the tiles of the kitchen floor. On top was a white t-shirt with black lettering; _'Coming to a hospital near you'_ emblazoned across her bump. It was one of three that Esme had sent. The others has the sayings '_I can grow people_' and Edward's favourite, '_Sexy and Showing!_'Simply because she was. A few weeks ago, Bella had really popped out. Her barely noticeable bump had now popped out to a more than noticeable protrusion. The white t-shirt was pulled tightly over it; she was glowing and Edward loved her more than possible for it.

The hot shower had loosened his muscles and washed the day's worries from his mind. Instead, other thoughts now filled their vacated space. Though Esme had sent the t-shirts directly to Bella, Esme also sent a registered FedEx parcel to his office. Inside was a small, square black velvet box. There was only one thing that it could have contained: A ring. Esme sent him the ring that had been offered to her from Carlisle's grandmother. But Esme, being Esme, didn't like the vintage style but had never said anything to Carlisle and had removed it a couple of years into their marriage. Instead, she chose to wear only her wedding band until Carlisle bought Esme an Anniversary ring more her style for their twenty fifth anniversary. The vintage ring had been, for all intent and purposes, sitting and collecting dust in her jewelry box and now Esme, who had no doubt has been bursting at the seems to pass it on had send him the ring that his grandfather had proposed with..

Edward was sure if he had been looking in a mirror, he was positive that he would have blanched white as the small box rolled out of its padded cardboard case. It wasn't that marriage was something he was afraid of. Hell, he had even already told Bella that he would marry her one day but the ring had cemented it for him. That lovely black box was now sitting in his sock drawer. The cliché was not lost on him.

The enticing smells of dinner drew him out of his thoughts as fingers played with the box. He grabbed a fresh pair of boxers and sweats to dress before making his way into the kitchen.

"You must have perfect timing," Edward's stomach growled, "or you are just really hungry."

Bella joined him after setting a plate of garlic bread in front of them.

"So Cassie will stay here over the weekend?" Edward mumbled an okay, his mouth full as he tried to inhale Bella's cooking. "I thought we could do all kinds of touristy stuff. Do you know Cassie has never been up to the Empire State Building? Jasper and Alice took her to the Statue of Liberty but she was a baby."

"Is this a girly thing or can anyone join in?"

"Well, I doubt that you would want to join us for mani-pedi's, unless there is something that you want to tell me, but you are more than welcome to be tourists with us."

"Mani-pedi's? Sounds like some kind of surgical procedure."

Bella giggled as she mopped up the last of the sauce with a piece of garlic bread. "Nope it's feet and nails. A girl's pampering afternoon on Sunday for Cassie and I. Alice is worried that Cassie will start to feel that everything is about the baby, especially as we get towards the end and Alice really starts to bond with the baby."

Bella popped the garlic bread into her mouth and put her cutlery aside. She made a start to lift the dishes. Edward placed his hand and pushed down slightly, indicating her to put the plates down.

"I'll get the plates, you go and pick a movie out." Edward told her, taking the dishes still in her hands.  
Bella knew there was no point in arguing with him. They still hadn't had an honest to God fight yet, the three weeks they had been apart had been enough for the both of them. They still had the occasional spats but Edward usually caved…go Bella's big brown eyes and beautiful pout. That was if Bella didn't give in to Edward's dazzling, crooked smile first.

The sound of dishes being loaded into the dishwasher filled the silence as Bella surfed Edward's entertainment system. His DVD's were all stored on an external hard drive where as Bella still had two shelves stacked with DVD's boxes. She queued up _'The Blind Side_' as the microwave beeped in the background. Edward came over, his bare feet padding lightly over the wooden floors. He sat a big white bowl full of plain popcorn in her lap. Dr Grace had limited Bella's salt intake at her last appointment due to above normal swelling in her ankles and wrists. She leaned forward to allow Edward to slide in behind her. Slowly she settled back into Edward, his body heat radiating through her thin t-shirt. The motion of Bella's body descending back into meet his drew up a draft of Edward's scent. Bella bit back a moan, her teeth biting into her bottom lip as her thighs rubbed together, desperate for friction.

Horniness was nothing new to Bella in her impregnated state. Even just looking at Edward made her want to jump his bones, fuck any witness that might be around. The dull ache from her centre reminded her why taking a ride on Edward's disco stick was not a good idea right now. Bella's lust had boiled over and she'd jumped Edward as soon as he had walked into the apartment after work yesterday. They had finished up on the living room rug, Edward's pants around his ankles, his shirt buttons ripped off. Bella had lain beside him, her skirt bunched up around the bottom of the bump, san panties, sated...for then. She had woken him twice in the night with gentle kisses or her mouth around his cock. Bella had finally had her fill and it had left her hoohah sore. God, she needed a distraction and the movie wasn't cutting it.

"So...Cassie," Bella stuttered.

"It's fine. Relax, Bella. Anyway, it'll be good practice for when we have our own."

Bella turned her head and met his gaze. It wasn't the first time that Edward had brought up kids in their future but it still caught her off guard. "I hope you weren't thinking right away. I need a rest."

Edward chuckled under her, his laughter reverberating through her body from his. "Nope, I'm selfish. I want you to myself for a couple of years first."

Bella smiled to herself and turned her attention back to the movie as her lustful burn dulled to a simmer. Half way through, Edward's body relaxed and his breathing slowed to a shallow snore across the crest of her ear. Instead of wakening him, she pulled the thick throw over them and settled down to sleep herself.

x-x-x-x

Bella woke the next morning in Edward's bed. Her alarm was ringing constantly like a record on repeat. She slapped at the clock before it made a strangled noise and died.

"That sounds like I need to buy you yet another alarm clock?"

Edward chuckled beside her, crouched low beside her.

"You're up and dressed?" Bella queried, a slight whine to her voice.

"Well some of us aren't pregnant and sleeping like the living dead. By the way, that is the third time you have snoozed the alarm."

Bella reached over and wound her hand around Edward's royal blue, silk tie. "Well unplug it, phone in sick and come back to bed with me. We can blame it on a power cut." She tugged Edward's tie sharply, bringing him to her lips.

He half moaned and then groaned into the kiss. Slowly he pulled back, despite Bella's tight grip on his tie. "We have to stop this." The tie tightened around his shirt collar. "Seriously Bella, I have a VP meeting at nine thirty and a possible new account coming in. As much as I would love to stay and fuck your brains out, someone has to go out and earn the bucks to keep you in pickles in ice cream."

Bella's face tightened, perturbed by Edward's mention of her most recent craving. She grabbed the underside of his tie and pulled the end tight. Edward let out a strangled yelp as the tie tightened further around his neck. She released him and pushed Edward from her personal space.

"I earn my fair share too." Bella pouted. "We can't all come from money."

Edwards joking face fell. "That's not what I meant, Bella. I was just kidding around." He back peddled. "I just meant that…" _Nope, there was no back peddling out of this._ "I just want to be able to buy you what you need. I want to take care of you."

Edward held his breath as Bella's face wavered before dissolving into tears.

"Oh, Edward, I love you so much too." Tears pouring down her face.

Edward stood rigid, unsure of what the hell just happened. Bella had gone from nought to sixty in three seconds and then hit the brakes. The whiplash was neck breaking. "Are you…" _Crazy_! "Okay?"

Bella wiped away her tears with the back of her hand before offering Edward a watery smile. "You go to work and I'll see you tonight."

Edward hesitated. _Is it a trap?_ Instead, he gave Bella a quick kiss before almost running from the room.  
It wasn't the first mood swing that Edward had experienced from Bella but it was the first time that Edward came home from work to find Bella gift-wrapped in Victoria's Secrets as an apology.

**Friday, 4 June, 2010 – Week 29**

Edward paced back and forth. He paced the apartment, his nerves dancing to a fiery Irish jig. Bella had left him to go pick-up Cassie from School. Alice and Jasper had already left for LA and would be back on Monday in time to collect Cassie themselves from school. Bella had laughed at him as he made suggestions to child-proof the apartment, including socket protectors and even coming home one night with foam corner protectors to stop Cassie from cracking her head on any sharp corners. Bella had talked him down, reassuring him that Cassie was six years old and was not the type of child that stuck her fingers in sockets anymore.

That left Edward pacing the apartment. He had spent time with Cassie over the time he had been dating Bella but it was usually with Jasper at sports matches or with Alice and Bella supervising. This would be the first time that he would have one on one time with Cassie. The way he looked at it, this was a dry run for having kids of their own. If he could survive the next seventy-two hours with Cassie, there was hope for them yet. He ran his hands through his hair. When did he turn into such a woman?

A key rattled in the lock to the apartment. There was a thundering of small feet pounding towards him.

"Edward!" Cassie shouted, her blond pigtails streaming behind her.

Edward laughed and scooped Cassie up before spinning her around. His body relaxed and all his worries of the past hour that Bella had been gone disappeared. "Hey Munchkin, how was school?"

"It was okay. Got a B in my math test."

"They grade kindergarten?"

"I'm in 1st Grade, silly."

"She skipped kindergarten. What can I say? Jasper and I have smart genes." Bella mumbled as she came through the front door.

Edward's face fell slightly but he managed to hide it in his actions, as he had to take Cassie's school backpack and weekend bag from Bella. She smiled in gratitude before reaching up to lay a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Thanks, Alice always packs too much stuff. She packed for a week, not a weekend. What did you want to do for dinner?"

Edward took in Bella's exhaustive slump. "How about we get take-out and we can have a Friday movie night?"

"That sounds amazing. I'm too tired to cook. Now Cassie and I are going to take a bath and you can pick the take-out. No Indian and no Thai; Cassie is allergic to peanuts. She eats just about anything except broccoli." Bella turned to Edward, looking him dead in the eye. "Don't ever try to feed her broccoli."  
Bella was deadly serious.

Edward chuckled as the girls walked down the hall to the guest room and master bedroom. Bella more waddled than walked. She had really started to grow outwards in the last couple of months. Edward loved lying in bed in the morning watching Bella sleep. He would run his hands over her stomach, feeling Bob push against his hand. It filled him with an overwhelming ache of hope that one day it would be his child; a piece of both of them growing in Bella's swollen tummy.

Edward smiled to himself as he headed for the kitchen drawer where Bella kept a pizza menu all marked up with her favourites; craving dependent. With the order phoned in, Edward sat in the living room, where he could hear the girls splashing around in the huge tub, him analysing budget sheets, thinking life was pretty solid.

x-x-x-x

**Saturday, 5 June, 2010 – Week 29**

Cassie had woken them at six am the next morning. Luckily, both Bella and Edward had been too exhausted to do anything but spoon so were suitability dressed. Cassie was convinced to snuggle down between them for another two hours on the bribery of Bella's blueberry pancakes. After a messy game of who could steal whose pancakes between Cassie and Edward, they were out of the door for ten am.

Bella had been astounded that neither Edward, for all his years in New York, nor Cassie had ever been tourists. They had never been to the Statue of Liberty or seen New York from above. They hadn't even been to the Planetarium at the Natural History Museum. The day had been long but the most fun that Bella had had in years. It was true what they say; it takes a kid to make you feel like a kid. Both Cassie and Edward had cuddled up in the Planetarium show, oooh and ahhhing at the stars as they zoomed across the screen, Cassie's enthusiasm reducing Edward to a six year old with her.

After leaving the NHM a couple of hours later, the humidity had shot up with the temperature. Edward kindly called a car service while Cassie dragged an uncomfortable Bella across to Central Park and into Belvedere Castle to play Rapunzel. Bella really wanted to enjoy the day out with two people who meant more to her than life, and that was not going to happen travelling around Manhattan on the subway. Luckily, Edward took on the role of her prince as Bella took photos. Definitely one for the album. As were the ones of Edward and Cassie in green foamy empire crowns as they took a Circle Line ferry to Empire Island. Edward had played the part of a regressed adult all day and Cassie loved it. Bella loved him even more for it. They had finished the day off with a sunset trip to Top of the Rock where it finally clicked for Bella where the name of her favourite TV show came from; 30 Rock from 30 Rockefeller Plaza where the Rockefeller Center sat.

Bella was thoroughly exhausted by the time they made it back to Edward's apartment. Her feet hurt and she had an ache in her lower back that no amount of stretching was shifting. Edward had offered to look in on Cassie while she had her bath while Bella put her feet up on the couch. The ache in the base of her spine wouldn't go away and lying on her back was just making Bella more uncomfortable. She heaved herself from the couch and padded barefoot towards the guest room where Cassie was going to sleep over the weekend. Edward was sitting on the Queen size bed while Cassie was snuggled under the covers, Edward's arm wrapped around her shoulders as they shared '_Charlotte's Web_'. Bella took a moment to lean against the door frame and took in the scene in front of her.

"…Wilbur didn't know what to do or which way to run. It seemed as though everybody was after him. 'If this is what it's like to be free,' he thought, 'I believe I'd rather be penned up in my own yard." Edward used a higher pitch for Wilbur. Bella sniggered causing Edward to look up and catch her as Cassie let out a loud yawn.

"Okay Cassie, I think it is time for you to go to sleep. We can read another three chapters tomorrow night." Edward closed the book and placed it on the bedside table.

"Thanks, Uncle Eddie."

Edward stopped, his arm halfway from unwrapping itself from around Cassie's shoulders. "It's more than okay, Munchkin."

Edward joined Bella as they walked towards Edward's bedroom.

"She called me Uncle Eddie."

"You hate being called Eddie, it pisses you off when Emmett calls you Eddie."

"Yeah, but it sounds cute when Cassie calls me it. I'm cool Uncle Eddie."

Bella laughed. "Yeah, you're cool Uncle Eddie alright."

**Thursday, 10 June 2010 – Week 30**

"So the fabric samples we sent were suitable for the '_Live Large_' designs?" A disembodied voice echoed through the computer.

Bella reached over to the fabric sample book, covered in bright neon tags. "Yeah, I have it here. We are going with C453 for the main body, I really like the distressed denim look but could we try it a couple of shades darker. The silver sparkle pipping works really well."

"Got it Bella, we'll have the sample products drawn up and FedEx-ed out to you."

"Thanks Roger, it's been good working with you again." Bella signed off the computer and removed her headset.

Since she had passed the seven-month stage, Bella had taken the decision not to fly which meant communications with her suppliers that she would normally travel to see were now conducted via Skype.

Her major projects were starting to wind down as she became more and more tired. She had moved a draft board into Edward's music room so that she could work from home more. Bella had made the suggestion to Edward after they agreed to spend weekdays at Edward's apartment. Watching it being moved into the music room would have been comical if it wasn't for the genuine look of pain on Edward's face as something, then someone, invaded his personal space. He had slowly gotten used to Bella's presence in his inner sanctum, especially after she told him how much hearing him play turned her on. It led to a particularly _hard_ session against Bella's draftboard that knocked the angle of it out for days.

"Hey Bella, we still on for lunch?"

Bella looked up to find her colleague Paul leaning over her desk. His usual rugged, handsome face was marred by dark circles under his eyes and a sullen appearance in his cheeks. He looked worse than he had over the intervening days since their last lunch. Guilt was weighing heavily on Paul's mind and it was starting to show. She looked around the office, it was quiet. Most people had their heads down. Most of the designers were still battling catch-up from the Memorial Weekend that had passed.

"Yeah, sure, Paul. Any suggestions?"

"Let's get right away from the office. How about Little Italy?"

"Sure, see you in a few."

x-x-x-x

Edward sat, his elbows on his desk, head in his hands. Figures. He hated figures. He was more of a people person. He enjoyed using his considerable charm to mingle and schmooze with clients and land accounts. An accountant he was not. Bella had told him on more than one occasion he had the ability to dazzle her into agreeing to anything. The thought of Bella brought a smile to his face. She had been holed up with Rosalie for most of the week, planning Alice's baby shower. In fact, Bella had spent more time with his sister-in-law this week than she had with him. Finally it was his turn, was it childish for him to pout over not seeing the love of his life for most of the week?

His phone rang and he seized the chance to leave his spreadsheets for a while. "Edward Cullen."

"Hey honey, its Bella."

"I know. Not even my mom calls me honey. What's wrong?"

"Aside from the fact I'm tired, fat and constantly horny."

"You're not fat, you're pregnant. How many times? Now what can I do for you? We're meeting for lunch in thirty minutes."

"About that. Do you mind if we rearrange? I have some things I need to take care of and I am meeting Alice tonight."

Edward felt his heart sink. _When did I become so reliant on Bella?_ "Yeah, no problem. What kind of things are you doing? Maybe I can help?"

"Just things." Edward heard a male voice murmur in the background. "Sorry, Edward, I have to go. Speak to you later? If things get too late with Alice I might just stay at my own apartment."

"Okay, I will see you when I see you." Edward responded in a rejected tone as Bella hung up on him.  
An all too familiar feeling began to settle into the pit of his stomach. Missed lunchtimes, late nights and catching male voices on the phone. He knew Bella worked closely with male members of her team but he hadn't met any of them yet. God, he had to let it go. Tanya wasn't Bella and Bella wasn't Tanya. Still that niggling doubt wouldn't leave the back of his mind.

In frustration of the thoughts spinning around in his head like a washing machine on a spin cycle, he locked his computer down and stormed out of his office with nothing more than a bye to his assistant. Without realising it his feet carried him towards Bella's office building.

When he sat down later that night and looked back over the day, he was swearing to himself that he hadn't meant to stalk Bella, nor was he spying on her when he spotted her leaving the building. Her arm was linked in the arm of a well-built man, no older than himself. He and Bella looked like they were deep in serious conversation, their heads close together as they walked to the curb and got in a cab. Edward ran across the road, trying to stay incognito as he dove into a car and shouted '_follow that cab_' like some cliché actor in a bad movie. The cab managed to follow Bella's cab but lost them for a few blocks. Edward spotted Bella's pregnant form going into a restaurant, a tall, darker skin man following behind her as he stuffed his wallet into his back pocket. Edward yelled at the driver to stop before chucking far too much cash at him and sprinting out of the cab. He took refuge in the shadows of a building opposite the restaurant where they had entered.

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, they sat down at a table by the window. The waitress brought Bella over a sparkling water and the man, an iced tea. Edward watched as the continued their serious conversation from before, heads leaning in over the table only looking up when the waitress came back to take their lunch order. His heart was thundering in his ears. The noise of the traffic and passing pedestrians faded from his hearing as he stared like a demented man at the scene in the restaurant window opposite him. He wanted to look away so badly, his mind was screaming at him to leave, that it wasn't what it looked like. Bella would never do to him what Tanya did. '_Give her a chance to explain. Go over and ask '_his mind ordered but Edward was resolute.

The man dropped his head. Bella reached over and held her hand to his cheek causing him to look at her. From his vantage point he couldn't read the man's facial expressions but he saw Bella's face sadden as her hand dropped over his and clasped them. Edward's arm twitched, the muscles flexing, desperate to lash out and punch the man who dared to try and take Bella away from him. Though from the looks of Bella's own hands, she was going willing.

Traffic came and went in front of him, people staring at him but still walking on; afraid to get too close to the man who's face showed the pain of his world ending. Finally the dam broke as the man and Bella rose, one hand still grasped in each other, the second used only for picking at their meal. The waitress dropped their change on the table and left them as the man helped Bella from her seat. He used the momentum to pull Bella to him, as close as her pregnant belly would allow him. The silent scream that ripped from Edward tore is heart in two, silencing its pleas to run. It was too late for that now as Bella hugged him tightly back, her little hands fisting in the man's shirt, holding him to her as she whispered in his ear.

Unable to watch anymore, Edward tore himself from the spot and honoured his hearts dying wish: He ran. He ran to the nearest subway station and jumped on the next train. His brain tried to quell the mired of thoughts that ran chaotic and unchecked through his head with one phrase. '_Not again. Not again._'

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**What has Bella done? **

**Big, HUGE, thanks go out to my beta Tina32899 who is overworked but very much appreciated by me as she happily chatted away to me in NYC airport while i waited on my flight back to Sydney! Thanks also to Charmie77 for all your encouragement and wonderful words. **

**Please let me know if you are still hanging on and reading this, dispite the random updates. I think the block is over so things should go a bit quicker now.**


	19. At the Bottom of a Johnnie Walker Bottle

**First off - sorry for the reposting of the chapter for ya'll that get alerts, FF decided to play funny buggers with it. Thanks to Charmie for pointing that out**

**Hey all, woohoo another update on time! So after that last chapter, 30% wanted to bitchslap Bella, 45% wanted to shake sense into Edward, and the rest of you wanted to kill the author (me!) Well i didn't die but lets see if the readers go a hold of any of my characters!**

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**Chapter 19 - At the Bottom of a Johnnie Walker Bottle**

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**Thursday, 10 June, 2010 – Week 30**

Edward stormed back into his office, slamming the door and frightening his assistant. His mind ran at a thousand thoughts a second.

_Who was that guy? What was going on? How long had it been going on?_

Edward couldn't take it anymore. He felt like a caged animal, chasing his tail around on an endless loop. The office was closing in on him; it felt stuffy and claustrophobic. He slammed his fists down on his desk, more in frustration than anger.

His finger hovered above the intercom on his desk before hammering down on it. "Cancel my meetings for today and rearrange tomorrow's. I'm sick and I am going home."

Edward grabbed his bag and walked out his office, passed his startled assistant who was fanatically clicking at her computer. He felt a pang of pity for his assistant but his overwhelming need to escape made the pang, fleeting. As if reflecting his mood, dark clouds had gathered and the storm that the weathermen had been predicting to break the heat had started to gather.

Edward managed a nod to the concierge of the building, his mind slowing as he focused on getting home. With the threat of raindrops, free yellow cabs were hard to come by. The dripping of raindrops in Edward's hair made him chuckle just a little bit more. The world seemed to be conspiring against him though it seemed it was also sympathising with him; tears from heaven. He wished he could feel the drop in temperature the breaking of the storm would have caused or the feel of the raindrops as they soaked through his suit or splashed on his skin. His frustration had passed and now he was just numb, empty.

People ran around him, seeking cover from the pelting rain. Edward stood still, facing up to the rain, hoping to feel something, anything. Suddenly the raindrops stopped and the dark sky was gone.

"Do you need a cab, sir?"

Edward looked at the tall man standing beside him. It was the man from concierge who had nodded back to him as he left work; he was sheltering Edward under an umbrella. That could have been hours ago for all he knew.

"Um, no thank you." Edward stuttered.

He turned away and went back into the rain, he couldn't feel. Slowly he began to walk as a mirage of thoughts enter his mind. _"Why would she cheat? Was I not enough for her? Was it the sex? I thought we had a great sex life, despite the difficulties as the pregnancy advanced. Were they even sleeping together yet?"_

As he walked, he questioned himself. Before he knew where he was, Edward found himself in front of his apartment building. The doorman eyed him curiously as he walked through the lobby of his building, his soaked suit and Italian leather shoes leaving a wet trail from the fifteen blocks of rain he had walked through.

"Are you okay, sir?" the doorman asked.

Edward lifted his defeated head and threw the doorman, Marcus, a wry smile. "Nothing a bottle of Jack and a straight razor won't fix."

_A bottle of Jack, now there was a good idea._

Edward let himself into his apartment, shedding the wet clothing and possessions as he moved through his apartment to the stocked bar. Emmett must have been in it recently too, his half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels was missing. Instead, he reached for a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label and a crystal tumbler. He poured himself two generous fingers while switching on the fire to warm his chilled body.

As he lowered himself into the well-padded chair beside the fire where Bella usually read, thoughts ran rampant in his head. Scenes flashed through his head like a movie, uncensored.

_**A familiar bed in a badly lit room. Two figures moving together on the bed, covers tangled around their limbs as their bodies moved. Moans and pants filled the air. He could tell that it was a man and a woman from the moonlight that partially lit the room. A lithely built man was moving on top of a long, dark haired woman, her moans echoing around the room. The man wrapped his hand around the crook of the woman's knee, bringing her leg up around his hip. **_

"_**God, Bella…so tight…so good."**_

Edward felt his body mentally recoil in horror but he couldn't turn away from his thoughts.

_**The bodies continued to move. His hips thrusting forward, her hips rising to meet his in a perfect rhythm. If there was any doubt as to the identity of the woman on the bed, it was over now. The look on her face as the couple came together said it all.**_

He had seen that look countless times as he watched Bella bite her lips to stifle her screams as he made her come, over and over again.

Edward bolted up from his chair as the movie in his head suddenly stopped. The glass flew from his hand and into the back of the fireplace. The flames roared in hunger at the alcoholic fuel blackening the surround of the faux fireplace. He knew what he had to do, he knew where he needed to go, and the bottle of Johnnie Walker was coming with him.

Bella hugged the lever arch binder close to her chest as she made her way from her car to the front door of her apartment building. Between her huge breasts and her ever-growing tummy, there wasn't a lot of room on her torso to clutch the heavy folder to her. The binder was a collection of materials, similar to a bride's folder, which Alice had in mind for her baby shower. It had been amended from the shower they had before Cassie was born. This time, Alice wasn't requesting any gifts, instead she had asked for donations to be made to a cancer charity and a charity providing support services to parents who suffer miscarriages. That had surprised Bella a lot. It was well known that Alice loved getting gifts; her favourite part of Christmas was the unwrapping of her presents.

Games for the baby shower had been agreed upon though Bella had vetoed some of the racier ones. It was stressful enough that she was organising the party while she was thirty weeks pregnant without having to deal with being the embarrassing centre of attention especially with any dildo-based games. Invites had been sent out the previous week and the date was set for the 3rd of July. Jasper had also pulled her aside to ask her if she and Edward minded watching Cassie for the weekend again. He wanted to take Alice to a house he had rented in the Hampton's for a weekend getaway to celebrate their anniversary. Bella had agreed but wanted to talk to Edward first.

As Bella slid her front door open, the hair sprung up on the back of her neck: Something wasn't right. Very slowly she made her way down the hallway, flipping every light as she walked. The hallway was empty as was the kitchen; still she couldn't shake the feeling. She entered the living room where she could hear quiet tones of Damien Rice, sombre and resolved. As the light flipped on she staggered back in surprise. Sitting in the high back armchair beside her bookcases was Edward. His dark face looked foreboding as he nursed a clear tumbler of what looked like scotch over rocks. _Where had he gotten the scotch?_

"I see your vampire tendencies are making a reappearance. Edward, what are you doing here?" Bella asked. The fear replaced by surprise in her voice.

"I saw you, today." Edward stated, his voice low and calm yet slightly slurred.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw you today, with your 'friend'." He sneered the last word.

Bella took a step into the room, trying not to let her nerves show at Edward's dangerous look. She put her heavy folder down on a table just inside of the living room doorway.

"You saw me with Paul? Today?"

"Yep." Edward popped the 'p' at the end of the word. "I saw you and _Paul_ getting all cosy at lunch. Is that why you've avoided me all week?"

Bella's face contorted in confusion. "How did you see us? We were all the way down in Little Italy, nowhere near you."

Edward suddenly stood from the chair, swaying slightly as he caught his balance. Bella moved back, feeling the wall at her back. "You've been drinking?"

"Yeap!" He popped his 'p' again. He swung the half empty bottle of scotch in front of Bella's face.

"It's the good stuff too."

"Good God, Edward, please tell me you didn't drive here."

"Nope, I caught a cab like a good little boy."

Bella resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "How did you see us, Edward?"

"That doesn't matter." His voice rose from its previous calm. "I saw you, holding hands, holding each other." He lifted the glass to his lips, the amber liquid catching the light as it rolled into his mouth. "You're just like her; a cheat."

It all clicked into place into her mind. He had seen her and Paul in Little Italy, somehow, having lunch, comforting Paul as he poured his heart out to her. Edward honestly thought she was cheating.

"Jesus Christ, Edward. Who the hell do you think you are? You come into my home and accuse me of cheating on you without asking for an explanation of why I was meeting my friend, Paul, for lunch. Paul is one of my colleagues and a good friend. He used to be my assistant before he got way too good at designing. We met for lunch because Paul needed someone to talk to. About a month ago, he cheated on his partner, Seth." She watched Edward become taken aback at her statement. "Yep, Paul's gay. He has been with his partner Seth for about three years. What you saw was me comforting him, like friends do, as he came to the conclusion that he would have to come clean with Seth if they had any chance of coming back from this."

Bella slumped down into the other armchair, the weight of today suddenly too much for her to carry. "When are you going to get it into your head, Edward? I am not Tanya, I won't cheat on you and I won't hurt you like Tanya did. Since we got back together, I have been nothing but honest with you. Why? Why would you think I would cheat on you?"

"_Help, I have done it again  
__I have been here many times before  
__Hurt myself again today  
__And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame"_

Bella's attention was drawn to the sombre lyrics that were playing from the speakers in her living room. Edward must have switched on her stereo and it was playing the Sia album that her Alice had given her as calming music. '_Fitting!'_ She thought to herself.

Bella studied Edward, his head bowed...in shame? In realisation? He had placed the near empty glass of scotch on the floor by the leg of the chair. A silent tear ran down his cheek as the haunting piano of Sia's _Breathe Me_ continued to fill the room.

"I was scared." Edward muttered his speech a little more clearly. He rose from the chair and made his way over to Bella. He placed his hands on her knees as he lowered himself down by her side.

"What were you scared of?"

"I saw you in that restaurant and my mind raced about what you guys were doing and how long it's been going on. The more I thought about it, the more I tried to think about what I was going to do when you left me too." Edward took in a shuddering breath as he willed his racing heart to calm down as the thoughts from earlier in the day flooded back to him. "I thought about life after you had left me and it just about killed me. I went back to the office and just sat there on that black couch, aching." He turned and looked up at Bella, his eyes wet and hollow. Bella's hand twitched as she fought back the urge to run her hands through the hair of the Little Boy Lost in front of her. "You know what I couldn't do? I couldn't imagine a life without you in it. That scares me more than you will ever know."

"_Ouch I have lost myself again  
__Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,  
__Yeah I think that I might break  
__I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe"_

Bella couldn't resist any longer. She ran her fingers through Edward's hair, the soft strands familiar over her fingertips. Edward sighed and rested his head against Bella's legs. He was exhausted, the alcohol compounding his drowsiness.

"I get scared too, Edward but we can't keep doing this. You have to start trusting me or this," She motioned between them, "isn't going work."

"I do trust you, Bella, it's other people I don't trust. When I saw him hugging you, I wasn't angry with you. I wanted to kill _him_."

"Esme taught you the birds and the bees, right? It takes two to make something happen, Edward. Just because someone wants me, it doesn't mean that I am going to cheat the first chance I get."

Edward tugged her skirt until she slid awkwardly from the chair and down into his lap. Now she was close to him, the musky smell of his drying clothes and the smell of staling scotch were all too clear to her. Edward had had a tough night. A tough, torturous, long night.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. So very sorry." Edward murmured into Bella's neck as she cradled him close to her.

"I know, Edward. Come on, baby, why don't we go to bed?"

As they unraveled themselves and Edward helped Bella to her feet, Bella knew that their problems were far from fixed. However, there was a weight that seemed to have been lifted from Edward's shoulders.

"_Be my friend  
__Hold me, wrap me up  
__Unfold me  
__I am small  
__I'm needy  
__Warm me up  
__And breathe me"_

x-x-x-x

After all the drama of the day, it seemed that the world had settled. It was the type of night that Clement Clarke Moorewas thinking of when he wrote the words "_Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse._" The Brooklyn apartment was silent. Edward appeared to be sleeping soundly as he spooned with a still awake Bella. Her mind was refusing to rest, running through the events of that night. It was obvious that Edward had not fully put the ghost of Tanya to rest. There was no doubt in Bella's mind that Edward had any feeling, except maybe a very strong dislike, for Tanya; but her betrayal had left Edward without answers to why she had cheated on him. This, in turn, left him with trust issues and Bella was bearing the brunt of those issues. As much as Bella hated to admit it, the only way Edward would ever get the answers he needed was to talk to Tanya. Even the thought made her physically shiver in despair.

Bella's mind stilled as she felt small, transient, kisses up between her shoulder blades. Fingers that never left her hip, rubbed tight circles sending warm sparks through her body. Bella moaned and arched back, offering her neck up as a sacrifice to Edward's now nipping kisses. Her movement caused her butt to move backward into Edward's now obvious arousal.

"Mmmmmm." Bella hummed in pleasure.

Edward's hands moved down her thighs to her knee and back up again. His baby-steps were leaving a trail of fireworks on her skin. It felt so good; the lazy shivers and warmth he drew from her. He made a repeat circuit up her thigh, passing so close to where she wanted to be touch. His fingers slipped under the thick band of her underwear, following the top of the elastic from hip to hip, his fingertip calloused against her skin. His fingertip dipped slightly, touching the edge of her thin pubic hair.

"Please..." She begged, trying to move her body so his fingers would sink further down her pubis but he counter moved her, bringing his fingers around the top of her mound and traced down the juncture of her other thigh. A trail of fire lit behind them.

"Ugh." Bella moaned in frustration.

Fingers that had soothed her tears, and rubbed reassuring circles on her back now gripped her tight to stop her moving, rubbing, and seeking any form of friction to cool the burning in her. Bella managed to wiggle her butt a little, feeling the hardened length swell more in the crevice of her cheeks. Edward breathing on her neck turned to pants as he nuzzled further into her neck with a groan of his own.

She smiled cockily; glad she was having at least an ounce of the effect he was having on her. Finally his hand released its tight grip and began to move, sliding down until it was just above her knee. His hand slipped to the underside of her knee and brusquely lifted her leg until it was hitched backward over his thigh nestled behind her. She twisted her foot in the crook crock of his own knee, opening herself up to him a little more. She moaned at the submissive feelings that coursed through her; at his mercy to play her as he wished.

Sensing her compliance, Edward moved ever so subtly, trapping Bella's arms behind her, in between their close bodies. His long, lithe fingers were soon on the move again. Up her arms, circling inside the bend of her elbow, evoking a shiver from Bella. His fingers played her like a well-tuned instrument as they made a path down her torso. Moving close, ever so close to where Bella yearned for Edward to touch her.

He pushed her underwear aside, his pointer finger stroking tenderly down her lips. So close, yet too far. He dipped one finger inside her lips, a long stroke upward through her slick moisture.

"Fuck...so wet." Edward growled.

Bella arched back, his curse word causing more liquid to seep from her. It was the first words that Edward had uttered since they had slipped silently into bed that night.

"Only for you." She murmured back drawing in a long breath.

"_Please...please...just a little closer_" Bella's mind chanted as Edward's finger looped around her clit, never quite touching her aching nub.

Edward drew in a prolonged, shuddering breath over the shell of her ear. "Jesus Christ, I can smell you from here. So fucking good." Edward seemed beyond comprehensible conversation now.

As he looped his finger around her clit and down the other side of her lips, Bella squirmed backwards. His length ground into her butt as his body stiffened and arched further into her.

"Fuck, Bella, stay still." His voice was low and feral. Clouded with lust, need and the after effects of the scotch. Bella moaned as it reverberated through her. "You have to stop fucking moving right now or I swear to God, I'll be the only one getting pleasure, I'll come that fucking fast."

She whimpered at the thought of being left unsatisfied after being wound up so tight. "Do it. Take me now." Bella ground out. "I can't take anymore...Please." She begged. She wasn't above it right now. She would beg until her voice was hoarse, if it made him just fucking touch her.

His hands left her body, the cold invading the space where they used to be. He ripped her underwear down her legs until he couldn't reach any further. Bella toed them the rest of the way as Edward rid himself of his boxers, is erection bobbing and hitting his stomach before he pressed himself back against Bella's now completely naked body.

"No, Edward. Fucking hell, I need you now." Bella shouted out.

At last, Edward plunged his length into her, sheathing himself to the hilt.

"You are always so fucking tight...I can't..."

Bella squirmed more as Edward stilled inside her. He was hanging on by the edge of his fingernails and Bella was not helping. His free hand clamped down her hip, halting her movements.

"You need to fucking control yourself."

Bella stilled. Seconds passed but it could have been hours as Bella sat on tender hooks waiting for Edward to move, to react, to do something.

His grip lessened on her hip and he drew back. Strong, deep thrusts ricocheted through her as he found his rhythm. He angled his hips behind her, driving deeper into her. Hitting that spot deep inside her. Electricity hummed through her, sparking every time he thrust in and out. Filling her so full…time and time again.

"Oh, God, Bella...ugh, so tight...so fucking close." Edward whispered in her ear, a voice full of need. "You have to come with me. Come with me Bella."

"Edward...mmmm...so close too. So, so."

Her voice tapered off as Edward's thrusts became erratic, losing all pace as he pounded into her. Bella felt the elastic that had been coiling in her snap back. Toes curled, her body lurched backwards. Edward's shoulder caught her head as she threw it back into him.

"Edward!" She cried out.

"Bella!" Edward answered.

They both plummeted into oblivion. Completely overcome, neither could say a word as the room was filled with pants and whimpers. Coming down from that sweet heaven their climaxes had given them.

Minutes passed in the darkness. Edward withdrew from her, missing the closeness and the warmth almost immediately.

"Are you okay?"

"Mmmm." Bella managed with a slight nod of her head.

Edward managed to stave off the creeping slumber that was knocking at his exhausted mind. Only when he heard Bella's breathing deepen and even out did he allow himself to succumb to the Sandman.

The light was blinding as Edward peeled back his sleep-crusted eyelids. As soon as he did, they clamped shut and his body turned away from the burning that shot pain through his brain. Slowly he tried again, the direct sunlight blocked by his back. Even in the shade of the sun streaming in through his apartment window, his brain still flinched in pain. Somewhere between in his sleep, a mining corporation had taken up residence in his head and were happily dynamiting away. His mouth felt like a bearskin rug had replaced his tongue. It tasted like musk and ass. Slowly, gingerly, he managed to pull himself upright, just as another round of dynamite went off in his brain. _Fire in the hole._ He managed to catch the alarm clock beside him. _Holy fuck, 08:15_. Beside the alarm clock stood a glass of water, with a note propped against it, and two white tablets.

"_I phoned you in sick. Drink Me."_

Who was he, Alice in fucking Wonderland? Edward downed the tablets and water regardless. He sat on the edge of the bed, his feet resting cautiously on the carpeted floor. Scenes from the previous night played before his scotch-riddled mind. He palm smacked his face. There was no doubt in his own mind that he was a Grade A asshole. He had falsely accused Bella, the love of his life and future wife, of cheating on him...again. He hadn't learned the jumping to conclusions lesson the first time around, he had to fuck it up twice.

_Where was a rabbit hole when you needed one?_

Bella! He needed to explain to Bella. Edward looked across the bed, only to find it empty. Panic flooded him, overriding the pain from his head or the rolling nausea in his stomach, as he lurched upright. When the room stopped spinning and he knew he wouldn't throw up, well not yet anyway, Edward stumbled for the open bedroom door. The sound of the television spewing that day's news made him stop. Bella hadn't left him; she was still here. She was watching television. She was watching television when she could have been in the room removing his balls with a blunt for the way he had treated her. Or worse yet, she could have left him sometime in the night: Sometime after their mind-blowing sex session.

The full-length mirror on the adjacent wall made him shrink back. He looked like shit, there was no denying it. His pallor was grey, almost green in tint. His eyes looked bruised, bags underneath showing his hellish night. Taking a quick sniff of himself he realised it wasn't only his mouth that tasted like ass, he smelled like it too. There was no way he was getting down on his knees to grovel for forgiveness smelling like he was. Bella would keel over at the stench of him. He needed a shower.

x-x-x-x

The roaring hot shower had worked miracles on Edward. His skin was back to his more tinted alabaster look and his eyes seemed to be back to normal from their previous glazed, pinprick state. Edward grabbed a pair of well-worn jeans, not bothering with a shirt in the slightly over-warm apartment. The TV was still showing a loop of headlines but he couldn't see Bella in the living room.

Her pacing figure in the kitchen caught his eye. She seemed to be pacing along the same line, like a demented polar bear in a zoo.

"Bella?"

She looked up at him in surprise before her face contorted in pain.

"Bella?" Edward's voice rose in alarm as he made quick strides to the kitchen. "Are you okay?

What's wrong?"

"I'm fine, Edward." Bella bit out, as she stood upright from the crouched position the pain had forced her into and began to pace again.

"No you're not. What's going on?"

"Nothing. Bob's just being overly active. He's getting in a couple of good punches.

"You sure? What does it feel like?"

"It's like a sharp pain every now and again. It's just taken me by surprise; not even Cassie was this bad this early on."

"How long has it been going on?"

"I don't know, thirty minutes or so." Bella stopped pacing and doubled over again.

"Look, this doesn't sound like Bob is practising his soccer skills in there. You sure it's not contractions."

"Of course I am sure, Edward. I'm not fucking stupid."

"How do you know? _'What to Expect_' says that..."

"This isn't the first time that I've done this you know. Cassie is my point and proof. These are not Braxton-Hicks and they are certainly not contractions."

"Okay I believe you."

Bella stopped pacing dead at Edward's easy defeat. "You do? Why?"

"Because you're bleeding."

Bella joined Edward's gaze at the middle of the long, satin, ivory nightgown she had thrown on when she got out of bed. Sure enough, there it was. A blood red stain, about the size of a teacup that seemed to be getting bigger.

* * *

**Song: Breath Me - Sia**

**You got a lemon out of me again! That was easier to write but was it any good? Scores in a review please. We have 5 chapter to go now before the end. boohoo!**


	20. Ballroom Dancing Boyfriends

**Wow, thank you for the overwhelming responce to the last chapter. Also a big wave to all the new readers to PT, you are all welcome. So, apparently i have all the will power of a fat kid in a candy store when it comes to updating! I usually update every two weeks but everyone begged for a quicker update and i managed to get a chapter out!**

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_

* * *

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_"This isn't the first time that I've done this you know. Cassie is my point and proof. These are not Braxton-Hicks and they are certainly not contractions."_

_"Okay I believe you."_

_Bella stopped pacing dead at Edward's easy defeat. "You do? Why?"_

_"Because you're bleeding."_

_Bella joined Edward's gaze at the middle the long, satin, ivory nightgown she had thrown on when she got out of bed. Sure enough, there it was. A blood red stain, about the size of a baseball that seemed to be getting bigger._

******

* * *

**

Chapter 20 – Ball Dancing Boyfriends

**Friday, 11 June, 2010 – Week 30  
**

"What do I do?" Edward asked, looking frantically from side to side as if there was a sudden audience where he could go 50:50 like on some game show. "What do I do, Bella? What do you need me to do?

"First, you calm the fuck down. You're beginning to freak me out here. Second, you find my phone and you give it to me."

Bella began to pace again as Edward looked frantically around again.

"It's in my purse which is sitting on the floor next to your half empty bottle of scotch."

Edward cringed at the reminder of what had transpired the previous night. He was never drinking scotch again. He was never drinking, period. He located Bella's purse, the smell of the nearby scotch making his stomach turn. After a rummage in a purse that would put Mary Poppins bottom-less bag to shame, Edward found the brick that Bella called her cell phone.

Edward ran the short distance to the kitchen where Bella was hunched over the granite-topped island, braced on her arms as she rocked slightly.

"We really need to get you a more modern phone, Bella."

"Not the time, Edward. Plus, I need a phone that can survive my clumsiness." Bella straightened up and pressed four on her speed dial. After a few rings someone picked up.

"The Grace Wellness Clinic Emergency Line. How can I help?"

"This is Bella Swan for Dr. Grace."

There was a click as the line was transferred. "Hello, Bella, it's Michelle. What's up?"

"Hi, Michelle, I woke with cramps this morning and thought it was just Bob moving around but now I've started to bleed."

"Are the cramps contractions?"

"No, it isn't like when I went into labour with Cassie."

"How long has it been going on?"

"Not long, about forty five minutes or so."

"Where is most of the pain?"

"Up top, below my ribs."

"Okay, I want you to phone an ambulance and I'll meet you at the hospital. An EMT will get you through the traffic quicker. I need you to lie down until the ambulance arrives and get Edward to pack you an overnight bag, just in case. Don't worry, okay. I just want to err on the side of caution, you have precious cargo onboard."

Bella gave a short laugh, breaking the tension slightly. "Okay, will see you there."

She put down the phone and turned to a rather frazzled looking Edward. His hair was still damp and sticking up in a thousand different directions. She could tell that he had been running his hands through them. _Oh, boy. _Bella took in a calming breath and walked closer to Edward.

She grabbed his hand from his hair and pulled them down to his torso. "Babe, I need you to calm down a bit, okay. Everything is fine." Edward's face seemed to relax a little. "I need you to pack me an overnight bag; a nightdress, some underwear and some sweats to come home in. Can you do that?"

Edward nodded. Bella felt sorry for him. Hungover as sin and his pregnant girlfriend was bleeding. Not the morning she had been expecting to have with Edward after their drama last night. Bella made her way behind Edward to her bedroom and went to the en-suite. After tiding herself up and finding some left over sanitary napkins, she dressed herself in some maternity yoga pants Alice had bought her and a hoodie. Edward flitted around her as she lay on the bed, her phone in hand.

"911, what is the nature of your emergency?" A nasally voice asked.

"I need an ambulance, please."

"Where to?" The voice was calm and reassuring, just what Bella needed.

She rattled off her apartment address and told the operator where to take her. "I'm seven and a half months pregnant. I've started to get cramps and bleeding. My doctor advised that I call for an ambulance."

Bella listened to the operator relay the information to the EMT's and hung up on her after reassuring her that she didn't need her to stay on the phone with her and someone was with her already.

Edward popped a bag on the bed and stared at Bella like a dog waiting for its next order.

"I've called an ambulance." A look of alarm spread across Edward's face. "It's just to be on the safe side. As wonderfully distracting as you are, you might want to put a shirt on."

Edward looked down and realised for the first time he was still only wearing his jeans with a damp towel around his neck. "Are you okay?"

"I'm scared, Edward."

With just three words, his panic dissolved and he saw his frightened girlfriend lying on the bed, her hands wrapped around her baby bump as if holding it all together until help arrived. He did the only thing he knew. Edward crawled up on to the bed, gathered Bella in his arms as gently as he could and whispered words of reassurance as he stroked her hair. The irony that less than twelve hours previous, Bella had been doing the exact same thing to him as he sat scared on her living room floor. They stayed that way until the EMT's knocked at the front doors.

x-x-x-x

True to her word, Dr. Grace met them at the ER doors. Bella was lying on a gurney, an IV in her arm. Edward had travelled with them in the ambulance after Bella threw a fit when the EMT's tried to put her IV in. Edward seemed the only one who could calm her down. After that, the EMT's had no problems with Edward riding with them.

"Okay, we are going to take you straight up to the maternity ward and see what is causing the bleeding. How you feeling, Bella? Have the contractions stopped?"

"No, they're still going but it doesn't hurt as much."

"How much blood so you think you lost?"

"Not a lot. A couple of tablespoons maybe? I didn't even notice."

"That's a good sign. We'll get you settled and then get an ultrasound underway. Do you need pain meds?"

Bella shook her head and Edward frowned.

"You are in pain, Bella, take something for it. Dr. Grace won't give you anything unsafe."

"It's more uncomfortable than painful. It's just like ripples of contractions than actual contractions."

"Well, it doesn't sound like you are in labour so we'll take a look and find out. Did you call Alice and Jasper?"

Bella gasped at Dr. Grace's question. "Oh, no. I didn't think. She's going to kill me."

Edward squeezed Bella's hand. "It's okay, she'll understand. I'll go call her now and you just relax."

Bella watched as Edward and Dr. Grace left the room. Her hand felt cold without Edward's reassuring grip. His hadn't let it go since he had crawled into bed with her as they waited for the EMT's. God knows how Alice was going to react to this. Five months ago, she would have known how Alice would have reacted. She would have blown into the hospital yelling 'My baby, my baby' at the top of her voice and demanding that Bella tell her what she had done wrong. Alice of old was very keen to act first, think after. These days, Alice was back to her mostly selfless loving sister.

Her attention was brought back to the present by the doors opening. Dr. Grace and a distracted looking Edward followed behind a technician pushing an ultrasound machine.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked a slightly frazzled looking Edward.

"What? Yeah. Alice…well Alice. Your sister is a hurricane. She had all these questions and I couldn't answer any of them." He ran a hand through his hair before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Your sister is all the CIA needs for terrorist integration. The Spanish Inquisition had nothing on her."

"Right, let's get started. Roll up your top."

Bella tried to roll up her top but the IV in her hand made things difficult. Instead, Edward took the material from her hands and pulled it up and helped her pull down the top of her pants. Bella gasped as the gel hit her stomach.

"Sorry, Bella, this model doesn't have the gel warmer like mine does." She moved the wand around on Bella's stomach, hovering over the top part of her bump. She clicked on the machine to zoom in on the screen. "It looks like you have had a placental abruption. It's a small one but that's what caused the bleeding."

"What is a placental abruption? Is the baby okay?" Edward asked, his frantic look on his face.

"The baby look fine, we have a nice strong heartbeat." She fiddled with more knobs and the heartbeat filled the room. "A placental abruption is where part of the placenta comes away from the wall of the womb. In some cases its tears away a lot and the mother goes into premature labour. Bella's been lucky though and it looks as if the tearing has stopped for now."

"What caused it?" Edward asked. He hadn't reached this part of his baby bible yet.

"No one really knows what causes it but high blood pressure, drug use or traumas are common causes. However, in this case, I think I might put this down to high blood pressure. Your pressure is a bit too high for my liking."

Edward took a staggering step back. "Did I…I mean did we…last night?"

"No, Edward, that didn't cause this and neither did our argument, before you even go there."

"What? What did you think caused this?" Dr. Grace questioned.

"Make-up sex." Bella deadpanned.

"Ah, the best kind." Dr. Grace answered, smiling at past memories."But Bella is right, sex didn't cause this."

A commotion outside the room door halted any further conversation. Jaspers' southern twang could be heard calling Alice back as she went speeding past the correct door. The pixie burst through her door, shocking a preoccupied Edward back to the present.

"Bella there you are." Alice ran to Bella's side, standing opposite Edward. She grasped her hand, carefully avoiding the inlet valve of Bella's venflon. "What happened? When did you get here? Are you okay? What treatment are you getting?"

"Alice, Alice!" Dr. Grace exclaimed. "Calm down a bit. Bella's blood pressure is high enough right now."

Alice's hands clasped at her mouth as Jasper held her "Pre-Eclampsia?" She whispered.

"No, Alice. Bella has had a small placental abruption. We ran an ultrasound and the placenta has come away a small amount, but it seems to be holding steady and Bob has a good, strong heartbeat. I was just about to strap a fetal monitor on and we will see if Bella's is having contractions or if the baby is in any distress."

Bella smiled in grateful thanks to Dr. Grace. Bella had known that Alice would be almost hysterical at the thought of Bella and Bob being in hospital, but she could see Dr. Grace's no nonsense words were calming down Alice.

"I would like you to stay, Alice. Please, I need my big sister."

Bella felt close to tears. The exhaustion and hormones catching up to her. Edward let go of her hand and moved back to stand with Jasper, sensing the two women needed some space, well as much space as they could get in the examination room.

Bella wriggled, trying to get comfortable again, after Dr. Grace had strapped on the monitor. It was really a small disc shaped object that sat on the side of Bella's bump, where the ultrasound wand had picked up the heart beat.

"Are you comfortable, Bella? No pain?" Dr. Grace asked.

Bella shook her head. Now that she was at the hospital and feeling calmer, the discomfort of the movement over her abdomen was less painful.

"Oh, God, Bella. I forgot to ask how you are. Here's me all concerned about the baby and..."

"It's fine, Alice. I am fine. A bit of a shock with the bleeding and everything but I am fine."

Bella couldn't help but comfort her sister. It was a good sign that Alice's first thoughts had been for the baby, it showed that she was bonding with Bob just as she should be: A mothers first thought will always be for her child.

The room was silenced by the ringing of Edward's phone. He looked sheepishly around the room before leaving to answer the annoying ringtone that Emmett had programmed into his phone. It wasn't that he didn't agree with the lyrics of '_A Song for Mamma_'. It was more the sissy jokes that came when it rang.

"Hi Mom." Edward muttered.

"Edward, Rose just called me. She said Bella is in hospital."

"Yeah, we came in about an hour ago. She has a placental abruption." He heard Esme gasp. "She's okay, Mom. The baby seems to be fine. They are just checking something to do with contractions. How does Rose know we're at the hospital?"

"Alice sent her a message while they were coming in. I think that Rose had been over at Alice's the evening before. Is there anything I can do?"

"Not yet, we just need to find out what is going on." Edward sunk into a nearby chair. "It's all my fault, mom. We had an argument last night, a big one, and now she is lying in a hospital bed with high blood pressure and contractions."

"Oh, honey, that's not true. These things happen. High blood pressure can be caused by lots of things especially when a woman is pregnant. Did they say that the fight caused the abruption?"

"No. Dr. Grace said that the fight couldn't have caused it but that doesn't stop me feeling guilty about it."

"Edward, you and these guilt trips have got to stop. If the doctors said it wasn't your fault then you should listen to them." Esme couldn't help but feel exasperated. Her son could convince himself that he was responsible for the World Wars if anybody let him. Guilt trips and self-sacrifice were Edward Cullen's only flaws in his mothers eyes. "Is there anything that I can do?"

"Not right now. We have to wait for the results of some kind of monitor that is on Bella and Bumpy before we know anything." Edward ran his hand through his head for what felt like the thousandth time that night. If he wasn't careful, he was going to go bald. "I just…I feel so overwhelmed Mom. I don't know what to do, what to say to make it easier for her."

Esme chuckled. "You should talk to your father about when I was pregnant with Emmett. He didn't know what way was up most of the time. He was no better when I was pregnant with you."

"She just seems so small in that bed, with all these monitors."

"I know. You just need to stay with her, be there with her. Let the doctors worry about the baby."

"Okay, Mom. I'll call you when I know more."

Edward hung up the phone and looked towards Bella's room. Jasper was standing in the doorway, looking as weary as Edwar..

"The girls are talking. Why don't we go get a coffee and leave them for a while?"

Edward let out a sigh of relief. As much as he needed to see Bella, Bella needed her sister more.

"Sounds like a plan. Bella hasn't had breakfast yet so we should pick something up for her."

x-x-x-x

Everyone looked up as Dr. Grace entered the suite.

"Ah, good. The gang's all here." She studied the paper from the monitor. "Well it looks like the contractions have stopped on their own and Bumpy Bob is doing okay. I'm going to keep you in for twenty four hours for observation and if there is no more tearing you can go home. You know what I'm going to say next, don't you Bella."

Bella groaned and dropped her head to her chest. "Bed rest! For how long?"

"We'll start at two weeks and evaluate from there. This has been a close call, Bella. You need to rest up, take the load off your feet." She started to pack up the monitor onto Bella's bed. "We are going to move you to a room." Michelle noticed that Bella was looking overwhelmed. Her face was pale, her forehead creased in concern. "Alice, why don't you follow Bella to her room? Jasper, do you need to collect Cassie?"

"She's at school until this afternoon…" He felt Michelle's pleading with her the way her eyes shifted. "…but I have a few things at the office I need to take care of, if that is okay, Bella."

He reached for Bella's hand and squeezed it to comfort her. Bella offered up a weak smile that never quite reached her eyes but the nod of her head gave Jasper his out. The concern and fear that was floating around the room was engulfing him.

"Edward, why don't you come with me, get some fresh air. Did you and Bella have breakfast?"

Edward looked torn. Bella or calm? Bella or calm? Bella had Alice but she would need clothes. "Okay." He turned to Bella, who was back chatting to Alice. "I'll be back in an hour or two. If you need anything, you get Alice to call me and I will be right back."

**Sunday, 19 June 2010 – Week 31**

Bella had been discharged from the hospital the next day after no further complications. To say Bella was happy would be an understatement. The smell of hospitals made her more nauseous than the pregnancy itself. After some back and forth, it was agreed that Bella would stay at Edwards until Dr. Grace lifted the bed rest. It was more of a case of Bella begging and pleading to Edward not to let her sister get her way. Bella loved Alice to pieces but there was no way that Bella could spend twenty-four hours a day, seven day a week for two weeks with her as she fussed and flitted around her. To everyone's surprise, Alice understood. She was remarkably okay about postponing the baby shower until after Bella had been had been given a lift from bed rest. She was still around at Edward's apartment every day, making sure that Bella wasn't overdoing it. So far Bella was following doctor's orders. Jasper had even dropped by to give Bella a trip stand that meant Bella could prop a drawing board and work on her designs without getting up from the couch, even though she was technically on sick leave from work. She claimed it kept the boredom from eating away at her brain.

Edward had, at Bella's pushing and insistence, gone to visit Tanya. He had met her at a restaurant near his office. She had shown up looking a little haggard with her six week daughter in tow. If Edward had needed confirmation that the baby wasn't his, it was apparent now. The blonde hair and blue eyes were purely James. They had talked for over an hour about the innate things of parenthood, the good news of Rosalie's surrogate and right down to how the well the stock market had rebounded that day. Amongst the awkward pauses and lack of eye contact, Tanya finally laid Edward's untrusting ghosts to rest. It turns out that Tanya hadn't cheated on Edward with his best friend because she was bored or because Edward wasn't enough. She had jumped into James bed because she was scared. What had started out as a one night mistake with James turned into a realisation that she was no longer in love with Edward. She was in love with the safety and comfort that being with him provided. James had offered her excitement and passion that she was missing with Edward and their love had grown from that. They left their lunch not quite acquaintances but Edward left feeling several tonnes lighter though resisted the urge to click his heels and wish for home.

Edward was buzzing around in the kitchen, attempting to cook dinner. Bella only hoped it would go better than last night's attempt. It had taken him an hour to scrape the burnt Mac and cheese from the glass casserole dish.

"Bella…" Edward whined like a malcontent child. "It's all lumpy and there are bits of loose powder as well."

"Well, what did you do?" Bella asked, trying to twist around on the couch, were Edward allowed Bella to lay as long as she wasn't doing anything she wouldn't do on bed rest.

"I added the dry ingredients to the egg yoke and milk."

Bella resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Not that Edward would have seen her. "I told you; add the wet ingredients to the dry ones, not the other way around."

"Oh." He looked at the bowl as if sheer concentration would change the order he added the ingredients. "How do I fix it?"

"You have to mix it really well. Put some elbow grease into."

Bella laughed as Edward huffed and puffed, his arms mixing frantically in a large glass bowl. The ringing of Edward's doorbell echoed through the apartment. He haphazardly thumped the bowl down on the countertop as if he had won a great victory.

"How about take out?" Edward shouted over his shoulder as he headed for the front door. "Are we expecting Alice this evening?"

"Nope, she and Jasper have a sitter and are heading out to a romantic meal for two. Something about enjoying the moment while they can. What about Emmett?"

"Nope, he and Rose have gone to New Jersey."

Bella watched in thinly veiled amusement as Edward threw open the door with a flourish. What he didn't expect to see were, not one but two, unexpected, uninvited guests standing in the doorway.

"Mom! Dad!" Edward spluttered out followed by a crash from the living room. "Bella?"

"I'm okay, I'm okay. I just dropped my book."

A familiar tawny-hair woman, standing a little taller than Bella, sidestepped Edward and came into the apartment.

"Bella, it's so good to finally meet you in person. I've been looking forward to it for an age." Esme perched herself on the chair by Bella's side.

"Edward never told me you were coming."

"Oh, I never told him. With Edward, it is usually best to spring things on him. He has a habit of over thinking things and whipping himself into a panic."Bella chuckled. Esme in the flesh was so much better than Esme over Skype. "What is that smell?" Esme sniffed the air.

"Shit. She looked up towards Esme. "Sorry. Sugar." Bella tried to heave herself up into a more upright sitting position. "Edward, I think your garlic bread is burning."

Edward quickly did a double take between the kitchen and Bella and his mother, who were sitting a little too close for Edward's comfort.

"Don't worry, we will save the embarrassing stories for when you are in ear shot. They are more fun that way." Esme chuckled.

After Edward had disposed of the charred garlic bread in the sink and grabbed the take-out menu's, he made his way back into the living room. His father had deposited a couple of suspiciously large weekend bags in the hallway. Edward stood just at Bella's feet, waiting for her to lift them so he could sneak under them and give her, her evening foot massage. Instead he found Bella staring at his father. In a huff, he lifted Bella's feet himself and sat himself down; no massage forthcoming.

"Bella, this is my mother, Esme Cullen."

"I know, Edward. We have met several times on Skype. It's nice to meet you face to face finally Esme."

"This is my father, Carlisle Cullen."

Bella was still staring as the blonde haired demi-God reached over to shake her hand.

"Well I can see where the handsome looks came from in the family. Wow, you're like some 1950's film star; all clean cut and devastating."

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed. Esme wasn't helping as she tried to stifle her giggles behind her hand.

"What? I'm pregnant, I have no verbal filter _and_ I can get away with it." Bella turned to Esme who was now in full blown guffaws. "You picked a good one there Esme."

Edward continued to stare in surprise. His mouth gaped open and closed like a fish out of water.

"Oh, come on, he's cute."

Edward shook his head. "That is just disturbing."

The four of them caught up until it was nearing midnight and Bella could no longer hide her yawns. It turned out that Carlisle was in New York conferring with colleagues on research and Esme had decided that she could help out with Bella while Edward was at work. Esme had really wanted to visit Edward to see for herself if it was true. That despite his heartache and lack of self-belief, Edward had in fact found the one. Even judging by the small display when Bella and Edward had insisted that Esme and Carlisle stay with them for the week, it was true love.

For Bella it was a window into a life she never thought she would have. Two parents, side by side and still very much in love. Showing undisguised affection for their children. In seven days, Esme had shown Bella what a mother ought to have been like than Renee had in all of Bella's twenty eight years. Joanna had been an amazing mother to Bella and Alice but she wished that Renee had been more in her life, that she knew her brother instead of them being this remote thought in her head. Esme looked after Bella without hovering or making her feel like the invalid that this pregnancy had turned her into. She had told Bella stories of Edward when he was a boy. How she sent Edward to ballroom lessons and when Emmett had teased Edward without mercy, she had sent him too. That story ended with Edward whirling Esme around the living room.

"At least you can be assured the groom can dance when you get married." Esme had muttered in Bella's ear only for Bella to blush deeply and hide her face in the cushions of the couch.

Bella was profoundly upset when Esme and Carlisle left to return to Chicago but was reassured with promises that they would be back for a visit before the baby was born.

**Monday, 28 June 2010 – Week 32**

She had been in this room many times before. Today it held the possible answer to her prayers; the release from bed rest. Alice was busy pulling out her SLR camera from its case. The last two weeks had been hard on Alice too. She was overwrote with worry over her child but unlike Bella, Alice couldn't feel the movements of Bob inside of her or rely on the intuition that came with being an expectant mother to reassure herself that Bob was okay and surviving the placental abruption. Alice also had to try and bear in mind not to interfere or hover over Bella too much. Her over eagerness had caused more than one misunderstanding in the past.

Both women let out a sign of relief as Dr. Grace breezed into the room.

"Okay ladies, let's see what is happening here." She flicked the pages of Bella's chart before reaching for the blood pressure monitor. "So no men today?"

"Nope, Jasper and Edward both have meetings and then they are off for some male bonding, also known as the golf range."

"Sounds...fun?" The machine beside them beeped. "That's a good sign. You're blood pressure is back to a normal range and your heart rate is good. Doing nothing obviously suits you." She took out a measuring tape and moved Bella's shirt over the top of Bumpy and measured the top of her uterus. "You're fundus measurement is a bit on the large side for your term time. Hope you've been doing those Kegel's because it looks like Bumpy Bob is going to be a big one. Now, just the ultrasound to go."

Bella flashed a worried glance at Alice. Big babies meant cuts, stitches and a whole lot of looseness where a girl really didn't want looseness. Dr. Grace left them to go fetch the ultrasound machine.

"Bellllla." Alice crooned in her fiver year old voice. "I have a favor to ask."

"You know I never agree to anything with you unless I know what it is first."

"Jasper and I want to go away in two weeks. Just a last minute weekend away before Bob arrives. I keep telling Jazz that it's too close and that you need me here. There is also Cassie, who needs to be taken care of. I know you its not going to be easy on you, being so big, so please, feel free to say no."

"Alice, calm down. Its fine. Edward and I love spending time with Cassie. I still have eight weeks to go so there is no danger of you missing anything. Where you going?"

"Just upstate. One of our clients has a cottage and he has offered it to us. It's true: its not what you know but who!"

"Maybe they can share with Edward and I after I pop this over-sized Bob out."

"Maybe Jazz and I could rent you one out as a thank-you."

"You know there is no need, right. I did this because I wanted to, not because I had too."

Alice gripped Bella's hand and offered her a watery smile. Dr. Grace took that moment to reappear, dragging the meeting behind her.

Fifteen minutes later, the ultrasound was complete, Bella was de-gelled and had posed for Alice's photos.

"Well the good news is that there is no further tearing to the placenta. The other great news is that you've reached that magical stage where if you go into labour, Bumpy Bob will more likely survive. The not so great news is that Bumpy Bob is heavier than expected. This means that there is going to be more pressure on your legs as you get further along. I am lifting the bed rest, "Alice clapped her hands, "but I am recommending that you are not on your feet for more than twenty minutes at a time and no going back to work. Alice, that means no shopping trips...of _any_ kind."

Bella couldn't help but smirk. She was off bed rest and Michelle had specifically said no shopping. _Today was a good day._

"Does that mean I can go back to having sex?"

"Taking advantage of the pregnancy hormones? To be honest, I would recommend against it. It's going to be uncomfortable and not really all that enjoyable...trust me."

_Not such a good day after all._

_

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**A huge thank you to Charmie77 and Tina who betaed this chapter for me in my desperation to get it out. You should check out her blog The Fanfiction Rebels. It'f full of recs, interviews and lots of other good stuff. fanfictionrebels . blogspot . com**

**Chapter 21 should be up soon, i'm half way through writing it! Also, i am looking for an experienced (!) person to read through my labour scene for accuracy. I've never given birth and i have a feeling the answers can't be found in a reference book. PLEASE, leave me a note if you would be willing. Its only about 1000 words. You know you coukd always just generally leave me a little review and let me know thoughts on how PT is going so far...!**


	21. This Wasn't In the Book!

**I have this out a whole day early...kudos me! So the day has arrived...!**

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Chapter 21 – This Wasn't In the Book!

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**Friday, 9 July, 2010 – Week 34**

Edward staggered to the door of Bella's apartment. His tie was pulled low on his shirt where his over anxious fingers had tugged at the knot. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone, the cotton scratching at his throat. It had been a long day that started with a six am conference call with Shanghai that had not gone well at all. Chinese bureaucracy had pushed his nerves to the limit and that was before the monthly Head of Department meeting where, despite bringing in more revenue that his colleagues, he was still grilled by his boss about surviving the recession and that job cuts were the norm at the moment. As five o'clock ticked by, all he wanted was to be at home with his very pregnant girl. Instead, he battled peak traffic and made his way across the Brooklyn Bridge, which did nothing to help his already frayed nerves. This was why he lived in Manhattan.

Pushing his own key into the door, he swung it open and channelled his inner Fred Flintstone.

"Honey, I'm home!" Edward bellowed.

"Uncle Eddie!" The force five hurricane that was Cassidy Whitlock came hurdling from the kitchen and grappled her arms around his legs.

"Umph." Edward wobbled for a few moments until his equilibrium returned. He scooped Cassie up into his arms, perching her on his hip. "Cassie, my own little ray of sunshine. How was school?"

She screwed up her face. "It was okay. Bobby Muir tried to kiss me. Boys are yucky." She screwed her face up impossibly further.

"Yes we are yucky. Hold up, he tried to kiss you." Cassie nodded her head. "Tried to kiss you how?"

"On the lips. He said he seen his daddy and the nanny doing it so he wanted to try it too."

Edward barely held back the guffawing laugh that was rumbling in his chest. _Poor Mrs. Muir_. "Did you tell Auntie B?"

"Yep, she said that it's okay because Daddy isn't going to let me date until I am thirty so I should get in some kissing practise when he is not around."

"You're Auntie B said that huh? Well when a guy kisses you like that again, before your daddy lets you date, you punch him, right into his nose. A real gentleman will always ask first, okay?"

"Sure, Uncle Eddie. Can I tell Daddy you said that when I get in trouble for hitting?"

Sure, sure, Cassie. Now where is Auntie B?"

"She's getting changed. We're doing some yoga. Auntie B needs to stretch."

Edward nodded, it would explain the mats that were laid out on the ground and some sort of god-awful panpipe music was playing. Bella had taken up yoga when her bump had really started to grow. When she had been pregnant with Cassie, it hadn't been a big thing, but now she used it to ease the pain in her legs and back from carrying Bob.

Bella waddled out into the living room. Her maternity yoga pants were looking a little tight on her as it was but the t-shirt that was currently stretched to distortion across Bob made her look completely massive. Edward valued his life so there was no way he was voicing that particular thought. Bella waddled up to him, placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"Hey honey, how was work?"

"Shit."

Bella bugged her eyes and motioned to Cassie, who was distracted with SpongeBob Squarepants.

"Sorry, crap but now I'm home and have seen you, my day just got infinitely better."

"Flattery gets you everywhere Cullen." Edward smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. "Not there!" Bella smiled sweetly before making her way over to the front of the TV.

Edward smiled to himself at the little picture of domesticity in front of him. Cassie and Bella were sitting on their respective mats, legs crossed – well as crossed as an eight and a half month pregnant person could – deep breathing. Edward could smell something tomato-based cooking in the oven. The girls were happy, there was about to be food on the table and, thankfully, it was Friday and there was no way he had to get up early the next day. Instead of interrupting the concentration of the girls, Edward chuckled to himself and headed towards the bedroom for a shower and to climb out of the suit he hated to wear these days.

x-x-x-x

Edward wandered back to the kitchen and living room area. The shower had just what he needed to wash away the stress of the day. His mind had wandered away from work and to the things that they were going to do this weekend. Though, Bella wasn't up to much, and the July heat and humidity stopped them from doing anything too energetic, Edward was looking forward to spending some time with Cassie. Bella had plans to spend a relaxing Saturday morning getting a mom and baby massage while Edward took Cassie to the batting cages so she could expend some of that six-year-old energy and not drive Bella completely up the wall.

Right now, however, Bella was sitting on the floor, one leg out straight and the other bent in so that her right foot met at her left knee. She pulled it up towards her shoulder. Cassie, had wandered off, her attention span probably only able to handle the first twenty minutes of Bella's yoga DVD. Edward managed to keep his chuckles to himself as he watched Bella, awkwardly, get to her knees before dropping to her hands in some kind of frontward bridge. The position had awoken something in Edward he had been working very hard to suppress; his now obvious arousal.

Bella winced as she stretched her back. Usually her cat-like back stretches gave her some pseudo-blissful high as her back and muscles all cracked back into place, relieving the knots that built up from carrying a ten ton bowling ball.

"Hey, are you alright?" Edward rushed forward and helped pick her off the floor.

"I'm okay. Bumpy has been moving around a lot these past few days." Bella rolled her shoulder and leaned into Edward's embrace. "He's moved down so he's not sitting so high."

Edward nodded against her "Engagement."

"I thought we agreed to burn the baby bibles." Edward chuckled. "Good news is that the nausea has stopped, the bad news is that Bumpy is sitting right on top of my bladder and is happy right now to use it as a head-butting pad."

"Doesn't engagement mean that Bob is ready to come out?"

"Not necessarily. Cassie engaged two weeks before I went into labor. I think we are safe for a week at least. Plus, I have no other signs. Don't worry, hot stuff, there will be no midnight runs to the hospital just yet."

"Well you just let me know. I would prefer it if it was the real thing, though. None of that Braxton-Hicks thing."

Bella laughed. "That isn't really a joke. I had Braxton-Hicks for a week with Cassie. Jasper rushed Alice and I to the hospital three times before he finally got wise. It was a case of the boy, or girl, which cried wolf. I nearly gave birth on their living room floor after Jasper refused to believe that I was really in labor and proceeded to sit down and watch a baseball game."

'Well, feel free to call wolf whenever you want to. I promise, on pain or death…or a kick to the balls…that I will run you to the hospital for every twinge."

"You are just saying that so I won't withhold your dinner. I wouldn't worry. I know the difference now, sort of." Bella reluctantly peeled herself from Edward's arms. "Can you get Cassie and I will start plating dinner?"

Edward nodded. He found Cassie in what was designated her room in Bella's apartment. It was not a typical six-year old's bedroom. While Cassie loved her dancing and occasional dressing up in pink tutu's, she was really a tomboy at heart. A kid's baseball bat and glove sat in one corner and in her room at home, she had a variety of weird and wonderful 'pets' that had been brought in from various places, including Central Park. Cassie was lying on her bed, still clad in her yoga gear.

"Hey Munchkin, you ready for dinner?"

"Yep, Uncle Eddie."

She made no move to get up from the bed. "You better move or you know your Auntie B will have eaten it all."

Cassie had the good grace to look horrified before she dissolved into giggles with Edward. They wandered through to the kitchen, managing to curb their giggles before Bella could catch on. They found Bella, not dishing up her wonderful lasagna as expected, but instead braced against the kitchen island, a look of pain on her face.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed, rushing to her side. "Are you okay?"

She held up a hand to silence Edward. Seconds that felt like minutes passed and Bella stood up and tried to flex her back out.

"I'm fine. Bumpy is being really active today. He just gave me quite a short kick to the back."

"So you're okay?" Edward was rubbing soothing circles on Bella's back as she melted into the touch.

"Yeah. It knocked the wind out of me a little, that's all. That feels good, just a little lower down." Bella caught sight of Cassie standing a little out of the way. Her eyes were wide in fear. "It's okay, Cassie. You know how babies kick and move when they are inside my tummy? Well I think your brother is going to be a soccer player. Come here, Munchkin."

Bella drew Cassie into her side and placed Cassie's hand on her stomach in reassurance that everything was okay as Edward rubbed out the last of her knots in her lower back. "Now how about dinner?"

x-x-x-x

Bella and Edward lay in their bed. Cassie had been bathed and was safely in bed and probably dreaming of batting cages. Bella was lying on her side, a pillow between her legs and one supporting Bumpy. Edward was massaging deep circles on her back. He had been oddly quiet during the rest of dinner. Bella wasn't concerned. Edward often drifted off into his own world when he was trying to work some things out in his head. She knew from the look of him when he got home that it had been a bad day at work. He would talk when he was ready to.

"Bella, you still awake?"

"Mmmm." Bella mumbled through her drowsiness. She was on that delirious cusp of asleep and awake.

"What happens? What happens after Bob is born?" Edward whispered. If the room hadn't been so quiet, Bella would haven't of heard him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you give birth to a child. Surely that can't be the end of it? Do we all just go back to normal life? What about you?"

Bella sighed. She wondered when this would come up, surprised it hadn't come up earlier. Labor and surrendering the child seemed to be the part of surrogacy that people struggled most to get their head around.

"Well, Alice and maybe Jasper will be in the room with me. Jasper got very freaked out by the fact there was a baby coming out of his sister-in-law's vay-jay-jay that he fainted and had to be taken out. You can be there, of course. I mean; you don't have to be. The joys of giving birth aren't all that joyous. In fact, it's all very messy."

"I don't think I could stand to see you in that much pain, Bella. It's hard enough just letting you go so I can go to work. Maybe I can keep Jasper company in the waiting room?"

"I'm sure he would appreciate a cigar buddy. He's not to good with the blood and gore and he seems to get a bit freaked out at even the remote chance of seeing his sister-in-laws...bits" Bella chuckled to herself. "When I was having Cassie, they set up a mirror so Alice could see the crowning without leaving me. Jasper had been popping in and out , it was a long labor and between Alice and Jasper they took shifts with me. Jasper came in looking for an update and I swear he stopped dead when he seen the mirror and screeched in a soprano voice I would be proud of, 'that's my sisters vagina'. He kept his eyes covered when coming in until someone told him it was all clear. I would have laughed if I wasn't in so much pain."

"What next?"

"Well after Bumpy is born and cleaned up, he goes straight to Alice. I go off to recovery where, if I remember correctly, I ride out a wave of hormones before dropping off in a coma of sleep. I went into labor with Cassie in the middle of the night and was in labor for fourteen hours. I was exhausted." Bella took a second to adjust her position as Bumpy moved. She caught the look on Edward's face. It was still drawn, his expression blank. "Because Bumpy is my second, I will be home in a couple of days and Bumpy will go home with Alice and Jasper."

"What was it like the first time? With Cassie?"

Bella took a deep breath. Those days and weeks after Cassie was born was not something that Bella liked to remember.

"I'm not going to lie, Edward. It wasn't easy. Your first instinct when you give birth is to hold your baby and I couldn't do that. The hormones were driving me insane. I would fluctuate between a Prozac-addict happy to flood of tears in the drop of a hat."

Bella felt herself shudder at the memory went through the wave of emotions almost as if it were happening right there in front of her. The nurses suggested that I pump breast milk to help regulate the hormones. Alice wasn't impressed but she eventually caved after a hospital shrink suggested that maybe I should consider a short course of low dose anti-depressants. Pumping milk helped but I still wouldn't hold Cassie, I knew if I did, I would never be able to give her up."

Edward stopped rubbing Bella's back and instead circled her in his arms as if to protect her from her memories. It was mostly kept under wraps when Alice or Jasper were around her. They had just been given their dream and Bella wasn't going to let her mood swings and depressions spoil it for them. A lone tear trickled down her cheek at the loneliness she felt.

"I went to stay with Alice and Jasper, to recover, because I had stayed with them for the majority of the pregnancy. That was a mistake. Alice would watch me like a hawk with this look on her face that I couldn't stand. I have a time period where I can decide to keep the baby, if I changed my mind. I never would have, I don't think, but Alice used to walk around as if she was terrified that I would and that I would take Cassie away from her. Every time I heard Cassie cry, I would want to rush to comfort her."

Bella's hands twitched as she lay beside Edward. Her body's unconscious way of remembering with her. Maybe this trip down memory lane wasn't such a good idea but Edward had to know what to expect.

"I couldn't even watch Alice change her. I just stayed in my room, barely holding myself together. I was a mess; the house was so tense. Jasper struggled with all the emotions running around the house and it was stressing things out even more. He wanted to he happy and excited aboyt Cassie but he could also sense my pain better than Alice could."

The bitterness crept into her voice but Bella quickly quashed the thoughts in her head. "Eventually I couldn't take any more and left. I went to stay with Joanna for a couple of weeks. School was finished and I had planned to take the summer off before starting to job hunt anyway. I really just needed my mother and Joanna was all I had."

Edward's arms tightened as he heard the tell-tale sniffle of tears. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I can't even imagine. It's like giving up a child and seeing it every day."

Bella nodded against him. "I'm just glad you never will have to." Bella hands clasped tightly at Edwards as they held her. The worst of the memories were over but still his presence comforted her.

"Joanna was amazing. I was worried that she would be conflicted. She should have been with Alice, helping her cope with a new addition to the family but instead she was with me, helping me to put myself back together. I would stay in Forks while she went to New York to visit Alice. She would come back with pictures and I would speak to Alice over the phone. After about a month, I thought I was back to normal and I wanted to get back to New York. I had a niece and I was missing out on those amazing first months. I found an apartment and started job hunting. It took about a week of being in New York again before I went to visit Alice and Jasper. I finally held Cassie. I can't even describe how scared I was. In the end it was okay. I had this massive rush of love and my heart literally swelled at the tiny bundle in my arms. She must have sensed my strange arms because she woke up and started screaming. I quickly handed her off to Jasper and afterward I realised that the urge to run to Cassie when she cried was gone. I didn't have this yearning to feed or change her. Watching Alice and Jasper with her made me understand the gift I had given my sister."

"Then why do it again?"

Bella smiled. "Alice is my sister, I would do anything for her."

Bella tear laden voice was full of such conviction but Edward still didn't understand. Emmett was his brother but there was no way he would put himself through that heartache again just to help him. Edward wanted to argue further but the sniffling sounds had grown louder so now wasn't the time. Instead, he held Bella as her crying subsided and she slowly fell asleep.

**Saturday, 10 July, 2010 – Week 34**

You could ask Edward, in the coming days, what it was that woke him but he would never be able to tell you. Instead he could tell you he woke briefly with a sense of foreboding that sent a chill to his spine. He thought the feeling had more to do with Bella's admissions earlier that night and it had led to his vivid dreams. Fighting his body back to sleep, Edward reached for Bella only to find her usual side of the bed empty but still warm. Bella not sleeping through had become a usual occurrence over the last week as she entered the last stage of her pregnancy. Bob being a big baby was only making things more uncomfortable for her. Usually she moved from the bed, worried her fitful sleeping would disturb him. Usually he found her holed up on the chair he had moved in front of the fireplace in his apartment, curled up with a book, reading to Bob.

Edward grabbed his robe from the back of the bedroom door and tip-toed towards the living room. He didn't make it very far. The sound of lapping water from the bathroom distracted him. Pushing the door open, he found the room cast in a low, mellow light from the ten or so candles that were lit on the vanity and sink area. Bella was submerged in a filled tub, her hands running lovingly over Bob's bump.

"Bella, what the..."

Bella held a finger up to her lips, cutting him off, and motioning Edward over to the tub. He obeyed and swatted by beside her.

"What is going on?" Edward whispered.

"I'm having contractions."

Edward flew upright again. His whole body tensed, muscles ridged, head moving rapidly as he glanced around the room, searching for answers in the candlelight.

"What do I need to do? Do you want me to call an ambulance? What about Cassie? Oh shit, I need to call Alice and Jasper. They left the number at the hotel right?"

Bella chuckled as she let him run through his thoughts out aloud. Finally he looked down at her.

"Oh shit, are you in pain? Can I do anything for you?"

"Yes, you can do something for me. You can shut up, take off your robe and join me. The contractions are at about ten minutes apart so we have lots of time."

"You sure it's safe?" He motioned to the bath. "You know, for me to get in?"

"Edward, I wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't." She leaned forward and motioned for him to get in behind her.

Edward stripped out of his robe and boxers before awkwardly climbing in behind Bella, cradling her between his legs. She grasped his hands and held them against her bump as she rested her head on his shoulder, blissfully relaxed.

"So what now?"

"We chill out, wait until the contractions are about five minutes apart. Then we call Alice and Jasper, get Cassie up and go to the hospital. I've already paged Dr. Grace to tell her that I am in labor so she is ready."

"Are you in pain?" Edward voice was hoarse with concern.

Bella freed a hand and cupped Edward's chin behind her, near tearful at his worry. "Nope. It's like having cramps. Nothing I can't handle plus they don't last long. Here," she moved his hands to lower on her bump, "Feel that?"

Edward smiled. He could feel a fluttering under her skin. "Was that a contraction?"

"Yep. They're not really strong at the moment but when they are, you can even see them moving along the bump. It's like a bad sci-fi movie special effect."

Edward and Bella lay in the bath until the water cooled. Edward helped Bella from the water and insisted on drying her off, he gave her shoulders and feet a quick massage. He dressed in some shorts and a t-shirt. The air-conditioning of Bella's apartment kept the worst of the oppressive heat of July out, but it was Six AM and he could already feel the warmth of the day creeping in. He set to work making a light fruit salad breakfast while Bella dressed. It was slightly surreal. He had always expected to be running around like a headless chicken with Bella puffing and panting beside him as they broke traffic law rushing to the hospital. Turns out that labor was a bit of an anticlimax.

Around Seven, Cassie woke up. Bella had spent the hour either curled up with Edward while he read to her or walking slowly around, only pausing to take a breath after each contraction. After Cassie was up and dressed, Edward made chocolate pancakes for he and Cassie while Bella sipped on fruit tea. Bella sat down and explained what was happening and that they would be going to the hospital soon and Mommy and Daddy would join them. Edward was just finishing up the dishes when Cassie came padding through to the kitchen, her face all screwed up in disgust.

"Uncle Eddie, Auntie B had a toilet oopsie and needs your help."

Edward jogged through to the bedroom, not quite sure was constituted as a toilet oopsie at this stage. Edward found Bella sitting on the bed with her underwear clenched in hand.

"What happened?"

"My water broke. I can't get my underwear on 'cos it hurts to bend down."

Edward chuckled at the frustration in her voice. Somehow he doubted that this would be the most embarrassing thing he would have to do over the next couple of days. He had just managed to get Bella to stand up and the last of her underwear up her legs when she gripped his shoulders tightly. He counted off in his head the gap between Bella's grasp and letting out her held breath.

"That was about a minute, hon."

"Okay, that means the contractions are about six minutes apart. Time to go I think. Can you grab my bags and Cassie while I page Dr. Grace again and ring Alice?"

After sending a page to Dr. Grace, Bella dialed Alice's cell phone."

Six rings passed before the phone clicked over.

"Hello, Alice's phone." A husky Southern voice drawled.

"Jasper! Sorry, did I wake you guys?"

"It's okay, Bells. What's up?"

"Can you wake Alice and put me on speaker?" Bella waited for the tiny echo that meant that she was on speakerphone. "Morning, guys. I have some, um, news. I've gone into active labor and am about to go to the hospital. You guys might wanna start for home."

Alice squealed in the background before snatching the phone up. "Trust you to go into labor early! Are you okay?"

"I'm good, Alice. Edward is here and he is just rounding everything up. Contractions are still six minutes apart so you should have a couple of hours to get here." Bella could here Jasper thumping around in the background, packing no doubt, while Alice sniffled down the phone. "Don't cry, sweetie. You haven't missed much except Cassie telling Edward I peed myself."

"Happy tears, Bella. Happy tears. Hold in there and we'll be back as soon as we can. Thank you for doing this and I love you so much, B."

"Drive careful and I will see you in a few. Love you too, sis."

x-x-x-x

After Edward had put several towels down on his passenger seat to protect the Volvo's previous leather from amniotic fluid. They took off into the early morning Saturday traffic. The ride to the hospital was uneventful apart from Bella having to convince Edward not to pull over with every contraction so he could pant through them with her. Alice had called just as they were leaving Brooklyn to say that they were just leaving the hotel and that Bella was to keep her legs crossed until they got there. Bella could imagine Jasper carefully sticking to the speed limit despite Alice's pleas for him to go faster.

Nurse Perry had met them at admissions and escorted them through to Bella's room. Dr. Grace had been called in to assist with a difficult delivery but she would be on call if needed and would be there for the birth.

"Right, Bella, I need you to get changed into a gown and then we are going to run through all the usual checks and get your IV in place. You've elected for an epidural, correct?" Bella nodded. After the exhaustion and the pain with delivering Cassie, she had learned her lesson. "The anesthesiologist will be down shortly to put that in. Any questions so far?"

"No, I'm all good."

"Okay, I'll be back in five minutes and we'll check you over and get you all hooked up. Do you want me to take the little one to the crèche?"

Cassie nodded. She was finding all the grown-up stuff a little boring. The nurse took Cassie by the hand and left Edward and Bella in the room. When she returned Bella was propped up on the bed and Edward was sitting in a space beside her. Nurse Perry dropped the bottom portion of the bed and pulled the stirrups out. Without being told, Bella raised her legs into them. Edward kept his eyes on Bella. He may have seen her naked many times before, but this just seemed so intrusive. Instead, he kept his eyes on Bella as she grimaced in discomfort.

"Excellent, Bella, you are about six centimetres dilated. It shouldn't be too long now. The doctor is going to put in a walking epidural for you so you will still be able to walk around until it gets too uncomfortable for you. You have to have one of us with you at all times, okay." Bella nodded, biting her lip in nerves. "It can make your legs a bit numb so we just need to keep an eye on you."

x-x-x-x

It had been an hour since they had been admitted and Bella was attempting to get some rest. Watching her in pain as they put in her IV and then the epidural was hell on Edward. Luckily within minutes of the epidural she started to perk up. They had been up and walking around, helping Bella to the bathroom and rubbing her back through the contractions. There was no update from Alice and Jasper yet and when he had tried to phone them a few minutes ago, their phone had just rang and rang before flipping over to their voicemail. He had phoned Emmett and Rosalie shortly after Bella was settled and they had come down to take Cassie away from the hospital and to the batting cages, like Edward had promised. Rose had assured Edward that as soon as they needed to bring Cassie back, he just had to ring and they would be there in a heartbeat.

x-x-x-x

Another ninety minutes had passed and there was still no sign of Alice or Jasper. This was making Bella anxious. While the epidural had numbed the pain somewhat, Bella could still feel how close the contractions were together and knew that time was running out. Edward had tried to reassure Bella that maybe they had just got caught in the traffic on the George Washington Bridge but nothing helped; Bella knew how important it was for Alice to be present for the labor.

They were interrupted as Dr. Grace entered the room, dressed in deep blue scrubs for a change.

"Bella, my favourite surrogate. How are you doing?"

"I feel like I'm pushing a bowling ball, but apart from that, just dandy."

Dr. Grace laughed, glad to see that Bella was at least attempting to relax. Her nurse had already explained that Alice and Jasper were still MIA and there was no idea when they would arrive.

"Right, Bella, let's see how far along you are. Feet up." Bella complied. "Looks like you are fully dilated. I'm sorry, Bella, but we have to move you up to the birthing suite. Bob doesn't look like he wants to wait."

"Wait, no, we can't. Alice isn't here. I need Alice."

"You're not alone. Edward will come up with us until Alice arrives and I will have one of my nurses send them right to us when they get here. We need to get going, I'm sorry."

Bella nodded feebly. The sides of the bed were raised and a porter came into the room to wheel the bed. Edward hung back as Dr. Grace caught his waist.

"Edward, I need you to keep her calm. Get her to focus on her breathing and pushing. The last thing we need is for her stressing over where Alice is."

Edward nodded. He was nowhere near ready for this.

They caught the next elevator to the next floor. Bella was in the room; the bed cranked up so Bella was sitting upright. Her face relaxed as soon as she saw Edward, all draped in scrubs and a mask.

"You would have made a sexy doctor, you know." Bella joked as a monitor beside her beeped.

"Bella, you have another contraction coming and I need you to give me a couple of short, sharp pushes." She paused for a few seconds. "Okay, now."

Bella pushed hard twice before the contraction passed and she slumped back on the bed. Edward had tried to focus on Bella's face as she squeezed his hand but the distress he saw was hard to watch.

Michelle had picked up on Edward's tension. "Edward, why don't you toe off your shoes and get in behind Bella? I need to you grasp her legs behind the knee and help her pull them back."

Edward nodded nervously. He could do this. He eased himself in behind her. Bella's body relaxed into his, her head lulling on the curve between his shoulder and collarbone.

"You're nuts if you think I am ever doing this again, by the way." Bella whispered to him, a joking smile on her face.

_Keep her relaxed._ Edward repeated in his head. "That would be a shame. Think of a child with your beautiful eyes and my amazing brain power."

"I was thinking more your stunning green eyes, beautiful face and my creative genius."

"I think we might need to keep going until we get both combinations, don't you think?"

"Ha, if you're willing to give birth to them!"

"Okay, Bella, here comes another one. I need short, sharp pushes again. Edward, I need you to pull back on her legs to help her brace, okay?" He nodded. "Push, Bella, push."

x-x-x-x

"Ahhhhh." Bella bore down on the last of the contraction and thumped down onto Edward's chest. "I'm so tired, Edward."

"I know, love, I know. It's nearly over." He looked to Dr. Grace for confirmation.

"He's right, Bella. You're starting to crown. You won't feel the pain like last time, okay. The epidural will take care of that but you will feel some pressure. I need you to push, to get Bob's head through and one final push and he will be out."

"You can do it, love. I'm right here."

"Where is Alice? She and Jasper should be here by now. Can you phone them?"

"I need to be here, hon. You need me here."

"No, really, I'll be fine on my own. Just call Alice, please." Bella pleaded. Her voice was hoarse from screaming through her contractions."

"Edward's right, Bella. You need him here. Nurse Perry will go and call Alice for you."

Edward handed it over to the nurse and went back to holding Bella.

"We're going to push again and I need you to push deep and hard this time." She counted down. "Push!"

Bella pushed with all her strength. Edward braced her legs and helped her bear down. After what seemed like several minutes, Bella stopped, mid scream, after she felt that tell-tale popping as the pressure of the head was released. Edward watched from his vantage point as Dr. Grace checked the baby over, using a bulb to suction out the nose and mouth.

"You are doing amazing, Bella. We have the baby's head. I need one last push from you to clear the rest of his body, okay. This is the last one, I promise, so make it a good one."

Bella squeezed down on Edward's hands and pushed, her scream of effort filling the room. Edward barely noticed the nurse come back into the room. Neither did he notice her pale face or how her hand shook as she set the cell phone down on a shelf in the room. Instead, he was distracted by the slipping sound followed by the sweet, high-pitched cry of a newborn baby boy.

"Edward, do you want to cut the cord?"

"No!" Bella yelled out. "Jasper. Jasper is meant to come in and cut the cord." She looked around the room, catching Nurse Perry's eye. "Where are they? Did you get them on the phone? Are they in the waiting room?"

Nurse Perry shook her head. "I never got to speak to them and they aren't outside."

"Bella, someone needs to cut the cord now."

"Edward..." Bella whispered.

Edward managed to extract himself from behind Bella and walked over to Michelle. He managed to avoid the pink elephant of Bella's exposed lower half and instead focused on the newborn in front of him. The baby was covered in some kind of white film, his face all scrunched up and his fists balled as he cried out. There was a soft downing of dark, matted hair already on his head but Edward couldn't make out the true colour.

A clamp had already been put on the cord and Michelle handed him a pair of surgical scissors.

"It doesn't hurt the baby. Bob won't even know he's been cut free. I need you to cut along here." She drew an invisible line with her finger.

Edward cut the cord away in two strokes. Straight away, Bob was handed to Nurse Perry and taken away to be checked-over.

"Now, Bella, I need you to give me a few more pushes." Bella nodded through her confused haze of just where her sister was. "Edward, you may want to move back up that end of the bed and hold Bella's hand. The after birth is never pleasant."

After ten minutes, it was all over. The nurses were cleaning Bella up and moving her onto a clean bed. Edward stared down at her in wonder.

"You are the most amazing woman I have ever met, Bella. I can't believe that you are mine."

Bella smiled up at Edward, her face showing signs of exhaustion. "Thank you so much for staying with me through this."

"There is nowhere I would rather be."

Michelle walked over to the bed, checking vitals and that everything was in place. "Do you want to hold the baby, Bella?"

Bella's eyes glanced side to side, not sure how to answer. The machine beside her beeped, showing her accelerated heart rate. "I don't know. Alice is meant to be the first to hold him. I don't know, I really don't know."

"Bob is asleep, child birth is exhausting. Why don't you hold him before we take you both downstairs? Alice can hold him when she gets here and when Bob is awake."

Bella nodded, still so unsure of what Alice would think of her holding Bob first. A nurse brought the blue bundle over to them. Both of them were so deeply enthralled with the capped bundle in their arms that they didn't notice Nurse Perry leave or walk back into the room. Nor did they notice the brief, murmured conversation that took place between them.

Dr. Grace walked back over to them, her face blank despite the happy occasion.

"Edward, there are some people outside the room who want to talk to Bella."

"Is it Alice and Jasper?"

Dr. Grace shook her head.

"If it's my brother and sister-in-law, tell them I will be out in a minute."

"It's not family. They are State Troopers."

Bella looked at Michelle in confusion while dread filled Edward's features as his mind ran through the possibilities of what State Troopers would want with Bella.

"I'll go."

"They are in the waiting area. We're going to take Bella down to her room and Bob will go off to the nursery for a few hours."

Edward fell back into a chair as he slipped his covered shoes back on before heading out to the waiting area. He could see two tall men with their back to him. They were dressed in typical trooper uniform, their hat in hand.

"I believe you were looking for Isabella Swan?"

* * *

**A huge thank-you to mommyof3boys and Leanne who both proof read the labor scene of this. You are shining stars and full of such encouraging words. Writing this has put me off ever having kids...teenagers should be made to read the Labor and Delivery part of baby books...birth-control right there!  
**

**Thank you to Charmie77 and Tina32899 who beta'ed and made awesomely wonderful suggestions about this chapter. Plus they let me chat inately on IM when the need takes me!**


	22. Silence in Grief

**Hello, well what do you know, i managed to get this up in a week! Thank you so much for the overwhelming amount of reviews, even if it was to tell me..."No, you can't kill Alice and Jasper!" or "I hate you so much right now". Anyhoo...first thanks to AlexaET who pimped out my story in her wonderful story 'The Beauty of His Eyes' so big hugs to her and her readers who are now my readers too.**** Now no more hate mail please people...my week heart cannae take neh moore.**

* * *

Chapter 22 – Silence in Grief

* * *

"**There is no grief like the grief that does not speak****" – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow**"

* * *

I believe you are looking for Isabella Swan."

The men turned and Edward caught the look on their faces. That sense of foreboding that he had felt that morning returned to him three fold.

"We need to speak to Ms. Swan as soon as possible."

"She's just given birth to a baby boy, she isn't going to be available any time soon."

"And you are?"

Edward watched as the trooper's moustache twitched. It reminded him of the photo of Charlie Swan. "My name is Edward Cullen, I am Bella's, Ms Swan's, boyfriend."

"Do you know Alice and Jasper Whitlock?"

"Yes, they are my friends. Alice is Bella's sister. What about them?"

"Do you know what they were doing on Highway 684?"

"They had been on a weekend away and were coming back tomorrow. Bella went into labour early so they were heading home. That must have been their route. Where are they?"

"Mr Cullen, I'm sorry to tell you this, given your happy occasion. Alice and Jasper Whitlock were involved in a fatal car accident this morning."

Edward stumbled back onto a leather couch. _What?_ He had spoken to Alice and Jasper this morning. _How could they be dead?_ He barely registered the sinking of the couch beside him. Alice and Jasper were dead. _What about Cassie? What about Bob? Bob, who wasn't even an hour old, was now an orphan._

"Look, there's been some mistake here. My girlfriend has just given birth to their son." The troopers looked at each other with puzzled expressions before returning their attention to Edward. "I spoke to them a couple of hours ago; they were okay and coming here. You must have the wrong people. Excuse me, my girlfriend needs me."

"There is no mistake Mr. Cullen, they were both carrying ID and the nurse that called their cell confirmed she was trying to reach Mrs. Whitlock."

Edward took a moment to let the news sink in. _Alice and Jasper were dead._

"What happened?"

"It appears as though they were heading back to the city when

they were hit by a semi-truck that lost control after travelling over a slick patch of fuel on the road. The trailer jack-knifed and the Whitlocks were caught in its path.

They were killed instantly. I know it is of little comfort but they would have felt no pain."

Edward swallowed several times. His throat and mouth were as dry as a desert. "When..." he swallowed again. "When did they die?"

"The accident was called in at eight thirty this morning."

Edward sank further into the sofa. They had to have been nearly home by then.

They were nearly home.

"Is there anyone else you would like us to contact?"

Edward shook his head, trying to jar it from its shocked state. "Um, Joanna, Alice's mother, lives in Forks, Washington. Jasper's family will also need to be told. I think they live in Texas."

"Colleagues in Austin will inform Mr. Whitlock's family and I believe there is a unit in Forks on route to Mrs. Swan's home now." The two troopers stood up. "We are sorry for your loss Mr. Cullen."

Edward stood and shook their hands before crashing back down to the sofa, his head in his hands. He was startled by a small hand on his back. At first he thought it might be Bella, the events of the previous hours forgotten. Instead he found Dr. Grace, sitting alongside him.

"What is it, Edward? All Nurse Perry would tell me is that when someone answered Alice's phone they said there had been an accident."

Edward managed to pull himself from a daze. "Alice and Jasper were in an accident. They, um, they died."

"Oh, Edward, I am so sorry. Does Bella know?"

"No, I have to go and tell her now. Any advice on how to break this to her?"

"I'm afraid not. I will tell you that her hormones are all over the place and will be for some time. Just be gentle. We'll take Bob up to the neo-natal nursery for an hour or two before we bring him down for his first feed."

Edward managed to pull himself from the couch and walked to the bank of elevators. _How the hell do I tell Bella this?_

x-x-x-x

Edward found Bella's room after clearing the maternity wards' security. Bella had a private room so at least they were guaranteed a little privacy. She was lying in the bed, dozing slightly. Someone had helped her into a nightgown from her hospital bag. He watched her doze lightly in the bed. He knocked softly on the doorframe to rouse her without scaring her.

"What did the troopers want, Edward?"

Bella watched Edward carefully. She could read his moods pretty well by now and this one just seemed off. It unsettled her. A feeling of unease settled in, compounded by the appearance of the State Troopers. The years with her father had taught her that State Troopers never brought good news.

Edward had his eyes closed as he took a deep breath. "Bella, I have something I need to tell you." He took a step closer to Bella's bed. "I need you to know that, no matter what, I will always be here. Whatever you need, whatever happens, I'll never leave."

He looked up at Bella for the first time since she had stirred. The pain in his eyes filled her with apprehension; something was not right.

"Edward, spit it out." Bella snapped, her anxiety getting the best of her already threadbare patience.

"It's Alice and Jasper. I'm so sorry, Bella, their gone."

"What do you mean their 'gone'?" Bella shook her head in denial, her thoughts confused. "How can they be gone? What they aren't here yet? They got caught in traffic? How can they not make it to their own baby's birth?" Her anger grew as hysterics bubbled below the surface.

Edward lowered one-side of the bed and sat up beside Bella, on top of the covers. Edward sensed her building anxiety, fists clenching the bed sheets as her eyes glazed over with tears. "Bella, they're gone, they're not coming to the hospital." He pulled her into his arms, mindful of her pain. "They can't come to the hospital. Bella, sweetie, they passed away in…"

"No, no, no, no…" Tears began to roll down her face as she clung to Edward.

"Honey, there was an accident. That's the reason why Alice and Jasper haven't made it to here."

Bella continued to shake her head, 'No, no, no' repeated in a mantra. Edward suspected that if he didn't currently have her arms pinned in his embrace she would have her hands over her ears, refusing to hear what he had to say.

"Love, Alice and Jasper...they were killed in a car accident a few hours ago."

"What? No...No. No! They can't be. You spoke to them, I spoke to them. There's been a mistake."

"There is no mistake, love. It's true; Alice and Jasper are gone."

Bella pushed herself away from Edward, her over used muscles screaming in protest. "They can't be gone." Her mind reeled, _GONE? Gone? Gone..._

Her mind screamed for her to run, to find them. They couldn't be gone. Her back met with the steel bars of the bed that were raised to stop her from falling out. The look of devastation on Edward's face told her he wasn't lying. This wasn't some crude joke that Emmett and Jasper had concocted. Silent tears slipped down her cheeks.

"What about Cassie and Bob? Bob doesn't even have a name yet. Alice never told me what she had decided on. They can't be gone. Cassie and Bob need them."

He drew Bella firmly into him in. "It's true, love. I'm so, so, sorry."

Bella turned herself into Edward, her breath hitching as her movements caused her further pain. It was almost preferable to the pain that ripped through her heart. _Her sister was gone_. _How did she live in a world without Alice? How could she leave her children behind?_

Bella's breathing grew short and laboured as she struggled to catch a breath. Edward relaxed his grip on Bella and tried to catch her gaze.

"Bella, Bella…" He tried to catch her eyes but they were flitting around the room. Never focusing on anything, never meeting his gaze. "Bella, I need you to calm down."

He reached over and thumped the call button on Bella's bed with his fist. A nurse flew into the room, rushing immediately to the other side of Bella's bed.

"Bella, honey, I need you to calm down for me." The nurse reasoned.

Bella's head spun to where the nurse was standing, as if noticing her for the first time. Her eyes were wide and face flushed as she struggled to get oxygen into her body.

"Bella, you are having a panic attack. You need to take nice deep breaths for me." Bella's body continued to heave. "Okay, we are going have to give you Fioricet to sedate you, sweetie, if you can't calm down."

"No…No…No drugs." Bella managed in between the short breaths.

Bella closed her eyes and started to take deeper breaths. Her breaths deepened and the tension ebbed from her body. Edward could feel her tears dampening the scrubs he was still wearing from the delivery suite. He held Bella as she cried fat tears, heaving sobs racking her body. Slowly the sobs subsided, exhaustion claiming Bella and she fell asleep in his arms.

x-x-x-x

Shortly after Bella fell asleep, there was a rap at the door to Bella's room. Emmett's head rounded the corner. He looked surprised to see Bella's room so empty. It was then that Edward realised that in the hurricane that followed Bob's birth and Bella's distress, they hadn't contacted anyone to tell them that Bella had safely had Bob and both were doing well.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. We brought Cassie back because she was begging to meet her baby brother. Are Alice and Jasper down in the nursery?"

Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath to quell his tears. "Where is Rose?"

"She's in the gift shop with Cassie. Why?"

"Could you bring them up here and maybe leave Cassie with the nurses for a minute?"

Emmett went to question his brother but there was a look on Edward's face he had not seen before and it told him not to argue. Instead, Emmett found Rose and Cassie at the elevator bank. Cassie was clutching a small blue teddy bear, and a balloon claiming 'It's a Boy' was secured to her wrist.

"Cassie, sweetie, can you wait here with the nurses while Rose and I have a chat with your Uncle Eddie? We'll be right back and we will go and see Bob."

Cassie pouted before nodding her head and heading towards the crèche.

Emmett tugged Rosalie down the corridor in the direction of Bella's room, his confused face matching hers.

"What's going on, Em?" Rose asked.

"I don't know but Edward looks like his world has just fallen apart, Bella has been crying and there is no sign of Alice, Jasper or Bob."

"You don't think..." Rose's hand covered her mouth in horror.

"I really hope not."

Emmett pushed Bella's room door open to find Edward in the same position as he left, Bella still asleep on his chest. Edward tried to gently pull away from Bella and climb off the bed but Bella's fists clenched tighter into his shirt.

"What's going on Ed? Where is Bob?"

"Bob's fine. He's a good six pounds, seven ounces. He's upstairs in the nursery."

Rose's body sagged in relief.

"We've had some terrible news. Alice and Jasper were away upstate this weekend. We called them back when Bella went into labour. They had a car accident, um, hit by a semi. Alice and Jasper are gone."

Rose let out a strangled sob as Emmett pulled her to him. Over the last four months, Bella, Alice and Rose had become good friends. Spa dates, baby talk and planning showers.

"Oh, Jesus. How is Bella? When did you find out?"

"I spoke to the State Troopers while they put Bella into recovery. She cried herself to sleep. They will wake her in about an hour for a feeding."

"What happens with Bob?"

Edward ran his hand over his face, the shadows under his eyes and five o'clock shadow adding to his exhausted look. "I have no idea, Rose. I really don't know. Bella mentioned that they sent some kind of papers to the court about parental rights and that the wills have been amended but that is all done after the birth so I haven't got a clue what happens now that...

"As bad as it sounds, my first priority is Bella. The labour was fairly straight forward so I guess she will be out of here tomorrow or Monday."

Bella began to turn fitfully on the narrow bed. Edward made to move towards her but Rose laid a hand on his arm and nodded to say _'let me._'

Rose ran her hands over Bella's forehead, tears running down her face. "Oh, Bella." She pushed moisture-matted hair strands from Bella's face. Bella stirred under her touch.

"Alice?" Bella's eyes fluttered opened, a small smile on her face. It soon faded as sleep receded from her mind. "No no no no. I want Alice."

"Oh, honey, Alice is gone." Rose pulled Bella to her.

Bella dissolved into uncontrolled weeping as her hazy vision cleared. Instead of the petite, dark hair hyper-ness that she knew as her sister, she found the hand stroking her face was Rosalie's. The few blissfully ignorant moments between the stirring from sleep and awakening were gone; and in the harsh light of reality, Bella wanted them back, craved them.

Minutes could have been hours as Bella sobbed, repeating Alice's name over and over. Her sobs caved to hiccups as her grief overwhelmed her. Edward stood by and watched as the women held each other. Though Rose's back was too him, he could see her body shaking as she cried. This shocked him further; he had never seen Rose cry.

Suddenly, Bella bolted away from Rose, her body rigid yet shaking as she continued to hiccup.

"Joanna! Oh my God, someone has to tell Joanna. What do I say?" Bella pleaded.

Rose stepped back and Edward stepped in as tears began to fall from his own eyes. "The police have been to tell Joanna, love. She knows."

"I need to speak to her. Can I call her?"

Bella's voice was above a whisper. It pained Edward to see her so unsure and hurt.

"Of course you can. I will get the nurse to bring in a phone, okay."

Her hand shot out and grabbed his arm, her nails digging into his skin not covered by the t-shirt. "You'll come back?"

"Of course! I'll always be here." Edward muttered.

Edward shepherded Emmett and Rose out into the corridor, not wanting to upset Bella with further talk.

"Edward, Cassie is here. She wants to see her new brother. The nurses suggest that we dropped her off at the ward daycare for now."

Edward's eyes were wide with fear. "What the hell do I tell her Em? Should I tell her about mom and dad or do I let Bella do it? How do you tell a six year old her parents are dead?"

"How about you get a phone to Bella and then take Cassie up to see Bob. Don't say anything about her mom and dad until you and Bella have a chance to talk about what to tell her. She knows they are away for the weekend, she was telling us about it."

"Okay, that sounds good.

"Do you need us to bring anything to the hospital?" Rose asked.

"No, not yet. Bella has her hospital bag so she is good for a few days. Cassie, um, Cassie...I don't know. I need to talk to Bella." He ran a hand through his already tangled hair. "I'm so out of my depth here."

Emmett pulled his brother into a hug, holding him as Edward tried to pull himself together. "You call us if you need us for anything. Cassie can come and stay with us if she needs to."

"Thanks, Em."

Edward watched as Emmett and Rose disappeared into the elevators. Emmett's arm was around Rose as she sobbed into his shoulder. Edward sighed, knowing Rose would grieve in private where only Emmett would see her fall apart. He turned to the nurses' station. Nurse Perry was flicking through files. She looked up as a shadow came across her desk. Her expression softened when her eyes met Edward's.

"Hi, Edward. How is Bella doing?"

"Not good. She cried herself to sleep but she is awake now. Is there any chance that she can get a phone in her room? She wants to call her step-mom."

"Sure, I'll activate the one in her room."

"Okay. Cassie wants to see her brother so I am going to take her to the nursery but I don't want to leave Bella."

"Why don't I have him brought to Bella's room? He's awake and hungry so she will need to feed him. Why don't you go sit with Cassie for a bit while Bella makes her phone call? She will also have to pump some milk so maybe give her some privacy?"

Edward nodded, happy to have someone else make the decisions for now. He headed for the crèche. He watched as Cassie played with a Lego set, so innocent of the changes that were about to rock her world off its axis.

It had been three day's since they had brought Bella and Bob, who so far didn't have a proper name, home from the hospital. It had been the three most stressful days of his life. It had been decided on that they, Bob, Cassie, Bella and Edward, would all move into Alice and Jasper's house until they left for Washington for the funeral in a week's time. Jasper's parents had agreed to their only son being buried with his wife in Forks.

Joanna had flown in the same day as Bella was released and had been helping out with Cassie and Bob as Edward focused on looking after Bella. Bella had been stuck in her own world since the day Bob was born. She hadn't spoken and would sit for hours just staring into the distance with the same vacant expression on her face. Anytime she saw Cassie, Bella would dissolve into hysterics; it got to the point where she was causing herself panic attacks and frightening Cassie.

Holding Bob was a whole different story. She had shown no interest in him since they had been home, never holding him, feeding him or bathing him. Thankfully, Joanna had managed to convince Bella to keep pumping breast milk. Bob was reacting to the tension and wouldn't feed properly. He hated the bottle, only drinking a small amount before spitting it out and grizzling.

Edward was exhausted beyond reason. Edward and Joanna had told Cassie of Alice and Jasper's death. She had cried and occasionally cried out for 'Mommy' or 'Daddy' in her sleep. Edward always rushed to her side. Cassie's broken sleep coupled with Bob's painful cries from hunger after refusing his bottles, meant Edward barely managed two or three hours of sleep a night. Esme and Carlisle had flown in the day before after Edward broke down on the phone, unable to bottle it up any more. He was overwhelmed and completely ill-equipped. He had never prepared himself for the fact that Bob would come home with him or that he would now be looking after a ready-made family. Most couples had nine months; Edward had twenty-four hours and no manual on how he was to do it.

That was why Edward was currently sitting in the bathroom, light off and door locked, just looking for a couple of minutes to himself to try and relax his mind. The house was silent. Joanna was in the attic, looking for photos of Alice and Jasper in the as-yet unpacked photo albums. Esme and Carlisle were visiting Rose and Emmett to meet their surrogate for the first time. Cassie was staying with a friend. She had needed out of the house for a night and Bob's hunger-induced screaming fits were affecting her too. Bella was sleeping in one of the guest rooms Edward had claimed as theirs. The doctor had prescribed her a short course of Fioricet after it was clear she wasn't sleeping either.

Edward took a deep breath and unlocked the bathroom door and exited just in time to see Joanna climbing down the attic ladder, perilously balancing a box in one hand as she grabbed the railing with the other.

"Ah, there you are. Come and give me a hand with these."

He took the box from her and then went back up the ladder to grab a smaller box that Joanna couldn't carry with her already full arms. Both had 'Old Memories' scrawled in Sharpie across them.

"What are these?" Edward asked popping the ladder back into the attic.

"Well the small box has the photo albums I was looking for. The bigger box is a load of videos. I'm not sure what is on them but they look old; I guess I will have to wait until I am home. I still have Charlie's old VCR."

"No you don't. Jasper has a VCR in the entertainment unit. He is…was old school. He always kept a copy of the movies he worked on in VHS."

Joanna and Edward paused for a moment. The use of past tense to describe Jasper has caught them both off guard.

"That's great, maybe I will get to watch them before we go back to Forks." They carried the boxes through to the living room. "How is Bella today?"

Edward shook his head. "She's sleeping right now but I am getting worried. She hasn't spoken or made any contact with Bob."

"Have you thought about bringing in some help?" She held her hand up as Edward went to interrupt. "I mean professional help. Maybe not a psychologist but maybe a grief councillor. She needs someone outside of us."

Edward nodded. Carlisle had said as much the night before. Joanna, he had noticed, dealt with her own grief quietly. She had lost two husbands and now a daughter. When she had first stepped foot in the house, fresh from JFK, she had got to work. Bella was forced into the shower, carefully and dressed in something other than nightwear. She had blown in and cooked up a storm. When Edward had mentioned it to Esme, she had remarked that her mother, Edward's grandmother, had reacted in much the same way. Instead of everyone bringing food to the house, Nona had baked pies and casseroles for everyone else. Esme and Carlisle were kept busy just shipping the food out.

"Let's give her a couple more days and see if she snaps out of it. Do you need a hand?" Edward motioned to the videos.

"Um, yes please."

Edward opened up the entertainment centre and turned on the video player. He picked up a random video labelled '1993'. As Joanna hunted for the control, Bella trudged into the kitchen, barely lifting her feet. She made her way to the fridge and pulled out the OJ carton and what looked like the ingredients for a sandwich. She had been basically surviving on peanut butter, cheddar and tomato sandwiches. Not the most nutritious of choices but everyone was just glad she was eating something.

"Found it." Joanna emerged from the couch with the all-in-one remote in her hand. No doubt accidentally hidden by Cassie.

Edward stood up from the floor and moved to stand with Joanna. Static filled the screen before the close-up of a very 'Miami Vice' style moustache filled the screen. Edward recognised the facial hair from a photo of Charlie Swan he had seen in Bella, Alice and Jo's houses.

"_Sweetie, are you sure you know what you are doing?" A tinny voice asked somewhere off screen._

"_Of course hon. There we go, the red light is on and the cap-thing is off. Right we are good to go."_

_The camera moved to show the backyard of a house, so green and bordered by a forest at the end._

"_Do you wanna bring the girls out Jo?"_

_The sound of a front door closing then opening again could be heard, as the camera swung around wildly again. It was enough to give you motion sickness. A younger looking Joanna emerged from the house with Alice and Bella in front of her, their small hands covering their eyes though Alice was obviously peeking._

"Oh I remember this. Charlie had bought a camcorder a couple of years earlier. He thought he had secret ambitions of being the next George Lucas. This was only a couple of months after we moved in."

_The video continued as Bella tripped and stumbled across the yard. Only Joanna's grip on her arm stopped her from falling completely. _

"_Okay, on three open your eyes." Charlie mumbled from behind the camera. "One...two...three"_

_Both Bella and Alice took their hands away. They stared at the new Jungle Jim that had been installed in the garden, the swing hanging from the tree at the edge of the screen. Alice grabbed Bella's and half dragged her towards the structure. There was a blue plastic slide that was attached to what looked like a climbing ladder that lead to a fenced in platform about six feet off the ground. Off to the side was a set of monkey bars._

"_It's just like the one at school but smaller. Thank you so much Charlie. It's great huh, B." Alice's oh-so familiar voice ran out._

"_Yeah, it's cool." Bella answered, looking up at the monkey bars as Alice made her way out to hang from the first rung."_

"_Careful Ali. It's really high." Bella reached out a hand as if to yank Alice back._

"_I'm fine, B, it's not that high."_

_Alice swung her light body easily, moving herself from rung to rung until she reached the last rung and dropped down._

"_That was really fun, have a go, B."_

_Bella stared up at the bar, trepidation on her face. "I can't, Ali, it looks too hard."_

"_I did it, you can too._

"_Yeah, but you are older." Bella reluctantly took a hold of the first bar. "I'm scared."_

"_How about I walk beside you? I can catch you if you fall."_

Edward caught Bella's figure moving out of the corner of his eye. She had set her OJ down on the breakfast bar and was walking towards them. Her eyes were fixed on the TV screen as tears trickled down her face. Slowly, she lowered herself down onto the couch beside Joanna and continued to watch.

_Bella swung herself from rung to rung, her body swinging awkwardly but slowly she was getting there. As promised, Alice followed beside her on the ground, always in Bella's sight. Finally, Bella's tiny hands grasped the last rung and she jumped down. Alice threw her arms around Bella, both girls laughing and jumping up and down as they laughed._

"_See Bella, I will always be beside you to catch you." Alice said as they continued to bounce around._

The camera cut off and the screen went back to static.

Bella body crumbled. "Jo Jo, she's gone, she's really gone." Bella managed between heaving sobs.

Joanna, tears running down her own face, pulled Bella to her. "I know, sweetie, they both are."

Edward slowly walked away from them and towards the doorway of the living room. His heart broke as the two women clung to each other, their hearts broken and feeling the loss heavily. He was glad though; Bella was at least showing signs of being alive. He traipsed slowly upstairs, the relief giving away to the exhaustion of the last couple of days. It was only eight in the evening but Bob had just gone down and Joanna had Bella now. Sleep clawed at the edges of his mind. He had just enough energy to undress himself down to his boxers before crawling on all fours under the covers. Sleep claimed him giving him a blissful, dreamless, deep slumber.

Edward woke up startled. Something was not right. Sunlight was streaming through the window, despite the curtains being closed. In the three, now four days they had been staying in Alice and Jasper's house, he had never once slept through to after the sun had risen. He caught sight of the clock on his side of the bed. It was eleven AM. He had slept the whole night through; no screaming Bob-style wake-up calls, no Cassie nightmares, just wonderful, delightful sleep. He reached out to the other side of the bed. It was empty. Something else strange this morning. Usually the sedatives kept Bella knocked out until just before lunch. He peeled himself from the warm confines of the bed and stumbled to the en-suite to shower quickly and find out why his world was so off kilter, again.

After he was dressed, he wandered down the hall to check on Bob. He found Esme sitting in the rocking chair, Bob cradled in her arm as she tried to rub the teat of a bottle to his lips. Instead he kept rubbing his rosy cheek against Esme's chest, whimpering.

"He won't take a bottle, Edward."

"I know, he's been fussy with it ever since we came home from the hospital. The doctor said it might take a while for him to take. He should be okay in a few days."

"He needs his mother."

"Yeah, I know, but Alice is gone so what I am meant to do?"

"He still has a mother, Edward. She gave birth to him, it's her milk he has been drinking. No doubt he can smell her on you and around the house."

"I guess. Let's get her talking first before we try into introduce the idea of instant parenthood to her."

"It will all work out, you have to believe that." Esme tried to give Bob the teat again. Finally he relented in hunger.

"I hope you are right, mom. Have you seen Bella? She is out of bed."

"She was in here a few moments ago." She noted Edward's surprised face. "She wasn't holding him but she was stroking his hair and checking him over to make sure he was fine. Baby steps, Edward. Baby steps."

Edward shot his mom a rueful smile at her play on words before leaving the room. He walked toward the staircase but noticed that the door to Alice and Jasper's door was open. It had been firmly shut since they had been home. No one was ready to go in there quite yet. He pushed the door lightly. It was immaculately tidy except the closet door was open and Bella was sitting on the perfectly made bed. She looked up when he entered and for the first time since Bob was born, she looked him in the eyes and smiled.

"Hey." Her voice was just above a whisper, scared to disturb the peace of the room.

"Hey." Edward answered, sitting beside her on the bed. "What ya doing?"

"I was looking for one of Jasper's suits and something for Alice, you know, for the funeral. I mean, for them to wear. I didn't want Alice in black."

Edward nodded and dropped a soothing kiss on her shoulder. "Black would be very un-Alice. What do you have there?" Edward motioned to the book in her hands.

"It's a baby name book. I found it on Alice's nightstand."

"Have you looked in it?" Bella shook her head. "Well you need to unless you want to put Bob on the birth certificate. I'm not sure Alice would be happy with that."

Bella chuckled quietly, remembering Alice's reaction to her and Edward's names for her bump. She ran the pages through her fingers, not really reading any of the names but enjoying the smell of the book as it breezed past her face.

"Woah, hold up. Go back."

Bella carefully flipped slowly back though the pages. She stopped at a page that had a bright yellow highlighted section. A name had been circled again and again. Ethan.

"Ethan was Alice's dad's middle name. Pronounced EE-than. It is of Hebrew origin, and the meaning of Ethan is "firmness, long-lived"." Bella read from the book. "From Eitan. Biblical: a man of Israel noted for his wisdom. American patriot Ethan Allen was a famous Revolutionary War leader. Actor Ethan Hawke."

"That looks like the name they had chosen."

"Ethan Jasper Whitlock." Bella whispered out, trying the name out.

"Why Whitlock? Wouldn't you want to name him Swan?"

"No, I want him to have the same name as Cassie for now and to remember Alice and Jasper."

Edward smiled. "Ethan Jasper Whitlock. Very fitting."

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**So there you have it, i did what now writer should...i killed not one but two main characters! Opps! **

**Thank you to Charmie and Tina32899 who talked me down off more ledges than you can imagine! Especially Tina who is inspired again and inspired me also. Big Hugs. It may be two weeks before an update as i have a busy work week and then plans next weekend!**


	23. Even Shattered Glass Becomes Art

**I am so sorry for the delay in getting this out. I had some bad news from my best friend in the UK. The bad news and the topic of Perfect Timing with its babies and funerals really wasn't something that i wanted to write. This is it folks, the end, the finally curtain…off to find a tissue box

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**Chapter 23 – Even Shattered Glass Becomes Art**

"**Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death." – Anon

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Bella took a deep breath. It was a Monday morning, and looking out the window, it looked like it could be any Monday of any week in Forks. It was a mostly overcast sky, grey clouds with small patchworks of blue sky rolled over. So far, the rain had held off as promised by the weatherman but still the weather felt fitting for the day.

Today would be the day when they would bury Alice and Jasper, their last goodbye. Bella was stunned she had made it this far. The past week had been a vacant timeline of racing thoughts and lost memories. In a way, she was glad to be back in Forks, despite the occasion. In New York, staying in Alice and Jasper's house after she had left the hospital, every time the front door opened, she had expected it to be them. Alice would come racing in, apologising for their late return from the weekend away. Jasper would be right behind her, struggling with all of Alice's bags but with that relaxed smile on his face. She wasn't delusional; she knew Alice and Jasper weren't coming back nor would they ever walk through the door. Being in Forks was helping her deal with their absence.

Watching long forgotten videos and remembering childhood memories with Joanna was helping as well. Jasper's parents had arrived on Saturday. Rosalie and Emmett had arrived the day before. Bella was glad Esme and Carlisle had also come for the funeral. Edward needed his parents too. He had taken on so much. He got up every night with Ethan for his feedings, and had sat down with Cassie to explain, with Joanna, where Alice and Jasper were and why they weren't coming back.

Ethan was still fussy and hadn't been eating well from the bottle. On Ethan's visit to the newborn check-up, the nurse said that he wasn't gaining weight as expected but that it wasn't too much of a concern at this point. The words of comfort from the nurse hadn't pacified Bella though. She felt like a failure. Alice would have done so much better. She wouldn't have fallen into a pit of despair. Alice would have squared her shoulders and just got on with it.

Dragging her gaze away from the window, Bella looked at the dress on the bed. It was a cobalt blue wrap dress that Joanna had helped her pick out. Alice had always stated when she was sick with cancer that there was to be absolutely no black at her funeral. She had joked that everyone should be dressed to Alice's approval. While Bella knew that was unlikely, she knew everyone would honour Alice's wishes and there wouldn't be a scrap of black on anyone.

Arm's curled around her waist, a cheek rested lightly on her temple.

"Are you okay?"

It seemed to be Edward's phrase of choice at the moment and she understood why. The man had been nothing short of amazing over the last week.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking. How is everyone downstairs?"

"Cassie is dressed and under strict instructions not to get dirty. Well I bribed her with Banoffie Pie, so she should stay clean. Ethan is starting to drift off in his baby carrier so he should sleep through the service. As for the kitchen, I've never seen so much food in all my life."

Bella chuckled, trying not to feel guilty at the slight amusement on such a tragic day. "Yeah, Joanna and Vivian, you know, Jasper's mom, have cooked up a hurricane down there. Are people ready to go?"

"The car's won't be here for another half hour. You have time."

Bella nodded. Edward knew exactly what she was asking. She had thirty minutes before she had to join the funeral procession. Before they would escort Alice and Jasper to the church.

"Have you changed your mind about speaking at the service?" Edward asked, his arm tightening around her as she leaned into him.

Bella bit her lip and shook her head. Joanna had given her the option of giving a eulogy at the service but Bella could barely speak Alice's name before breaking down into floods of tears. Instead, Edward would speak and would include some of the things Bella wanted to stay.

Edward nodded and placed a kiss to her temple before leaving as silently as he entered. Bella sighed and turned back to her dress. Definitely Alice approved. The matching ballet pumps sitting beside it, not so much.

x-x-x-x

Bella pulled the light, cream jacket closer to her as the cars pulled up outside the church. Everyone had been moved inside except for ten men lingering at the church door. People exited the processional cars as they arrived at the church. Bella climbed out of the car but looked anywhere but the hearses as the women all patted down their skirts and men straightened their ties. She couldn't focus on what was going on, she felt like she was drowning as the pallbearers all stepped forward. The able-bodied men, including Peter, Jasper's best friend from college, stood still beside the hearses but it was too much for Bella. She had to look away. It wouldn't be real if she couldn't see her; she wasn't ready to see her yet. Instead, she stared at the ground, focusing on Cassie's tiny red sparkly red shoes.

Even as the pallbearers moved towards the church and the family fell in line behind them, Bella could not look up.

Time seemed to have no real meaning as the service began. She barely registered Jasper's dad and best friend speaking about the man, her brother-in-law, now gone forever. What had he been like in their eyes? Bella would never know. Cassie continued to be Bella's focus. Her sparkly red shoes, so like Alice's but Bella had made those. Cassie drew circles and shapes on the back of Bella's hand as it clung to Cassie's. Joanna also got up to speak. There were words about Alice as a child and how proud Joanna was of Alice and Jasper and what they had grown into together.

Bella managed to focus a bit more when Edward got up to speak, concentrating on his face, his eyes bringing her comfort, instead of seeing where Alice rested. His words cleared from a muffled sound in her ears to clear words as she heard her name. Familiar words echoed in her brain. It was the poem she had given him.

_"Having a sister is a journey _

_Throughout life it does not end _

_But you were more than my sister _

_I was proud to call you my friend _

_In our childhood I recall so many times _

_Of great joy and carefree play _

_Memories that comfort and make me smile _

_Even though you've gone away…" _

The words tuned out again. She hadn't wanted to write down her own words, they seemed so inadequate for what Alice meant to her. She had borrowed somebody else's. A nameless person who could say what she wanted better than she could.

People grieved in their own way of quiet sobs and ragged shudders. They were saying their goodbyes to friends lost too soon. The minister's words were muffled, as if she was in water, only becoming aware that he had fallen silent. There was a lull in the proceedings but Bella felt sluggish and disconnected from her body. If it wasn't for the sparkly red shoes, she would have sworn she had left her body and was watching from afar.

Slowly, a sombre hymn played and the pallbearers stepped forward, lifting the caskets to their shoulders. Bella filed out into the aisle of the church, only moving as Cassie tugged on her hand. Everyone from the service was welcome to join them for the graveside burial before heading to Joanna's house for the wake.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, now that they were back in the quiet of the car.

Bella couldn't answer. She didn't know if she was okay. At that moment, all she felt was numb. Numb to what was going on around her and numb to the reality that she would have to say her final goodbye to a sister she had loved so dearly. Rather than answer, she snuggled herself deeper into Edward, his body warming her chilled one. He seemed to understand her unspoken response and kissed the top of her head.

Somehow she had made it up the hill to the graveside without slipping or falling. Edward was right beside her, Ethan out of his carrier and cradled in his arms as they stood by the two open graves. The overcast skies, just for a moment, had split and an expanse of blue had shown through. The hazy sunshine warmed the clearing in the cemetery. Bella knew without looking that Charlie was buried not too far away, someone to look over her big sister. She watched vacantly as the coffins were lowered into the ground, earth smattering on the shiny mahogany surface.

"Unto Almighty God we commend the soul of our brother and sisterdeparted, and we commit theirbody to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust..."

Bella refused to move as people began to file away. Her gaze flitted between the caskets, the plaques carrying Jasper and Alice's names covered by earth thrown by the minister.

A large hand gripped her elbow.

"Bella…"

"I just need a minute, Edward."

She felt him move away from her, taking Cassie and Ethan with him. The slight buzz in her bones told her, he hadn't gone far. Always watching over her.

Bella stared at the open graves, not quite believing who was in them. It was all too real now. The past week had been spent in a zombie like stupor, refusing to accept that they were gone, that they would never be coming back. Now that she could see their caskets, the bronze nameplates, it was hitting home. Tears streaked down her face, silent and painful. Her knees gave way as the sobs overtook her body, the ground soft under her knees.

"I can't believe you're gone." Bella managed between sobs. "You're not coming back. How…how could you just…_go_? You've left so much behind." She took a shuddering breath. "You left me behind. Cassie too."

The sun crept out from behind a light cloud, flooding the area with sunlight, so bright and cheery it seemed to be mocking Bella as she cried.

"You haven't even met your son and you left him here alone. You should see Ethan; he's incredible. So perfect in every way. He's got blonde hair just like you, Jasper. You can already see the waves. His eyes haven't changed colour yet but I hope he gets your beautiful blue ones."

Her hands clawed at the ground, the soft mud caving easily. She could feel the grit under her fingernails, pushing against the skin underneath. The damp of the ground had seeped through the stockings she had been wearing and the cold leeched into her bones despite the warmth of the sun.

"How could you do this Alice? What were you thinking, leaving them in my care? I was never meant to be the parent; I wasn't prepared for any of this. I can't be their mom; that was your job. I will be useless at it. I can't even think of words to say at your own funeral."

As the cold seeped further into her, she remembered a verse from the poem she had given Edward:

_Through the challenges that we all must face _

_Growing up on this path called life _

_You were there for me in such thoughtful ways _

_And helped me through these difficult times_

They had been through difficult times together; they had seen through them in relatively one piece. Joanna had often told them that God would never give them more than they could bear. Alice would never have given her a job she couldn't handle. She would always be there. Slowly, Bella pushed herself from the ground and stood shakily, her legs like jelly. A small hand slipped into hers, pushing and intertwining fingers with Bella's. Bella looked down to find the small, blonde-haired child by her side.

Cassie. Beautiful Cassie. So like Jasper but Alice's daughter in every way that counted.

"Does this mean you are my mommy now, Auntie B?"

"Well, you will come and live with me and Edward."

For the first time that day, her thoughts sprung to Edward.

_Edward. Oh, god, Edward. Would he want her now? This less than normal relationship, now encompassed with two children. What man wanted an instant family?_

Her gaze drifted to where Edward was standing. All the other funeral goers had left and were probably at Joanna's now. He stood there still, Ethan was in his arms, and the carrier perched on the ground at his feet. Bella watched as Edward held him, watched him sleep in his arms, fingers running lazy circles on his back. As if sensing her watchful eye, Edward looked up. His emerald eyes met hers and she knew. All her doubt was gone. Edward wasn't going anywhere.

"You're mommy and daddy will always be your mommy and daddy and they love you very, very much." Bella swallowed her tears. Now was the time to be strong. "Do you want to come and live with Uncle Eddie and I?"

Cassie scrunched her nose in a move that was so Alice, as if in deep thought.

"What about my brother? Will Ethan come too?"

"Of course he will. We will all live together."

Cassie scrunched her nose again. "Okay."

Just like that she was gone, walking back towards Edward and Ethan.

"I can do this…right?" She smiled through the tears. "Of course I can, you're still with me. Oh God, Cassie is just like you Alice, she is going to want to shop, isn't she?" Bella chuckled again. The sun warmed the skin where the cold from the ground had chilled her.

"I'm going to miss you, Jasper, my wonderful, teasing brother. Alice, my beautiful, beautiful sister. Take care of my dad for me.

"This isn't goodbye. This is an 'I'll see you again."

Bella walked away from the gravesite, tears still running down her face but her heart wasn't threatening to shatter anymore. She neared Edward, who was talking with Cassie, her hand swinging in his. As she walked nearer, he left go and drew her into a one armed hug, his other still cradling Ethan.

"Are you okay?"

"I will be." Bella answered with a watery smile.

Ethan stirred in Edward's arms before settling back into a peaceful dream. She ran a finger over his soft cheek, Ethan's head moving towards her giving her more access to his face.

Without words or looks, Edward knew what Bella needed. Gently, he shifted Ethan into Bella's waiting arms. His newborn body was light in her arms from what she recalled of Cassie but they still remembered how to hold a baby. Ethan turned in her arms, toward her. He nuzzled at her chest where she held him before trying to squeeze a gloved fist into his mouth.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Home? You mean back to Joanna's?"

"Well yes, but then home; to our home?"

"Home." Bella offered Edward a small smile as he grabbed the carrier and Cassie's hand before leading them back to the awaiting car, back towards home, wherever that might be. It didn't matter as long as they were together.

Edward placed another casserole dish on the island in the kitchen. If he never saw another casserole, it would be too soon. Joanna and Esme were stacking the dishwasher while Rosalie was washing the bigger items by hand.

Vivian Whitlock was in Cassie's room, reading her a bedtime story after helping bathe her. Carlisle, Peter and John, Jasper's dad, were sitting on the porch swapping stories and titbits of wisdom.

Edward went to turn back to the living room to gather the last of the dishes when a hand grasped him around the wrist.

"Edward, honey, why don't you take a break and go up and sit with Bella."

Edward smiled at his mom. She always was perceptive.

Bella had taken Ethan up to try and feed him and to give him a bath. Ever since they had returned from the burial, Bella had barely put Ethan down. it was still shocking for Edward when he walked into a room and Bella was holding Ethan. It was like watching a wound heal before his eyes, for Bella was reluctant to put Ethan down for more than a few minutes. Edward was smiling and doing a happy dance on the inside. On the outside, he was still supportive and waiting to catch Bella if she was to fall. Cassie hadn't ventured far from Edward's side either all day. That was rare for Cassie, she was usually happy to be in the centre of attention, just like Alice. Edward guessed that the sheer number of people crowded into the house had intimidated her.

Edward climbed the stairs; he could hear Ethan's cries from the landing. They were painful squalls he had come to know as meaning Ethan was hungry. He rounded into the room and found Bella sitting in the middle of the bed, dressed in a well-worn tank top and a pair of his boxers. In her arms, Ethan was still crying, his face all scrunched up and red.

"Sorry, did we disturb you guys downstairs?"

"No. Everyone has gone home. It's just the family clearing up and talking amongst themselves. How long has he been crying?"

Bella shook her head. "I tried to feed him before his bath but he refused. He's been crying like this since I took him out of the water. I don't know what else to do."

"It's a hunger cry. When he is really hungry he gives off this wail. It's more like a grumble with the odd high pitch whimper like someone had pinched him."

Bella looked over at Edward in wonder. What had she missed out in that first week? They always say that the first weeks are the most important for bonding and learning. Bella tried to coax Ethan with the bottle again, rubbing the teat over his lips but he refused, twisting his head away from her.

"What do I do? Maybe it's me?"

Edward loosened his tie and hung it over the back of a nearby chair. He undid the top few buttons, feeling like he could breathe for the first time that day. As he walked towards the bed, he toed off his shoes before climbing onto the bed and kneeling behind Bella. His knees sat on either side of her hips, his chest touching her back. Bella relaxed into him.

"What do we do, Edward? He won't eat." She offered up the bottle again but Ethan turned away, back towards her body. His whimpers were dying as exhaustion set in for both Bella and baby. He grizzled then nuzzled his head into her chair as if seeking a warm, soft pillow to rest his head.

Bella could feel the tears clawing at her eyes, failure flooding her body. One tear escaped. How could she do this? What a rubbish mother she would make, she couldn't even get Ethan to take his bottle.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I am trying to hold it together but it's just all so…You know how I told you the story of how I used to lie in bed and listen to Alice comforting Cassie, how just once I wanted to go to her, be her mom? I envied my own sister of her chance to be happy, Edward. What kind of sister did that make me?"

Edward sighed. He knew that it was just the stress and hormones talking right now. Dr. Grace had warned them that Bella would be all over the place for a couple of weeks. "It was perfectly natural, Bella. You carried Cassie for nine months, you wanted to be her mother like your body told you to be."

"Yeah, well. Be careful what you wish for, huh. Maybe this is my punishment. I lose the sister I envied."

"You didn't wish for this, Bella, any of this."

Edward's voice was understanding but there was a stern edge to it that left no room for arguments.

"No." Ethan's crying picked up again and another tear rolled down her cheek. Did all new parents feel this overwhelmed and useless? "What do I do?" She pleaded.

Edward cupped her neck in one hand, rubbing small circles into her tense muscles.

"You need to relax. He can pick up on the tensions. Babies are perceptive like that."

Bella took a deep breath and concentrated on Edward's movements. He leaned his head down, his out of control hair tickling her ear as he passed by. Slow, open mouth kisses peppered her exposed shoulder on either side of the strap to her tank top. Bella felt her bones melt and her heartbeat calm to a normal rhythm. Ethan's crying eased to pitiful whimpers. Bella lifted the bottle back to his lips but still he refused it, his lips clamped shut.

"Maybe you should feed him, yourself."

Bella's head flew up at the suggestion. "No, no, I couldn't. I wouldn't be… I was never meant to…"

"But you used the pump."

"That's different, that to help me as well as give him natural nutrients. This would be..."

Edward hummed a tune, low and gentle.

"He won't…"

"You trust me?"

It was a rhetorical question; Edward didn't need an answer from her. His fingers danced over her shoulder, where his kisses still lingered.

"Just relax, baby." Edward muttered.

His fingers slipped under the strap of her tank top and he eased it down over her shoulder until it sagged at her elbow. The top part of her tank top fell away revealing the full mound of her breast. Bella shuddered. It felt like so long since he had touched her like this. His hand slipped down, feeling the heaviness of her breast, so full and firm. A small whimper escaped Bella as her head fell backward onto his shoulder. It felt so good. Light fingers danced around the soft skin. The shudder ran up her back again as she gave into the feeling, allowing it to relax her. She felt Ethan shift, his head nuzzling at her breast as if he could sense what she wanted to do. moved Bella's arms so that Ethan could find his way to where he needed to be.

Bella gasped as Ethan's mouth found her nipple. She let out a soft gasp as Ethan suckled, drinking heavily from Bella. Edward ran his hands over her shoulders, fingers tracing up and down her breastbone. He watched Bella's face relax, a picture of contentment. All was right again.

"How…?" Bella whispered.

"He just needed his mom. That's what you are now, Bella, his mother."

Edward continued to support Bella's body as she fed Ethan, watching as her eyes drooped; blissfully sleepy. He felt her body sag as she gave into sleep while Ethan continued to feed. A little while later Bella's nipple fell from Ethan's mouth as he too slipped into sleep. Looking down, Edward was struck but just how right, how perfect, this all was. This was it for him. This was his world now.

"Are you sure he will be fine?" Bella asked, ringing her hands.

Edward tried to stop himself from laughing and instead gave a half smile. "He'll be fine. Rosalie is more than competent."

"It's not Rose I am worried about. You did explain to Emmett that Ethan is too young for aeroplane swings; that he is not to carry Ethan around like a football."

"Yes, Bella. I even took the baby book off him."

Emmett and Rosalie were looking after Ethan for a couple of hours while they went to the Manhattan office of J. Jenks; Alice and Jasper's lawyer. It had been five days since the funeral and now Bella felt strong enough for the will reading. The uncertainty she was living with regarding Cassie and Ethan's ultimate welfare was weighing heavy on her heart; a heart that was a little broken at the moment. Although probably a ridiculous notion, Bella couldn't fathom the thought of losing them. What if Jaspers' parents wanted them? She had to know, and was glad she finally would. It was also the first time that they had left Ethan for more than a couple of minutes, never mind in the care of someone else.

"You're sure…"

Edward grasped at Bella's hands and held them in his. "Yes."

A woman cleared her throat beside her. "Mr. Jenks will see you now."

She led them into Jenk's office. He sat calmly behind his desk and got up to greet them as they walked in.

"Ms. Swan, Mr. Cullen. Firstly I was saddened to hear of Alice and Jasper's deaths. I had known them for many years. Such a shame."

"Thank you Mr. Jenks I understand you handled all their affairs, business as well as private."

"Yes, indeed. Now shall we get down to it?" He motioned for Bella and Edward to take a seat at the small conference table in his room. "Mr, Whitlock, Jasper, was very, um, precise in what he wanted in his will. In essence, the will contains two plans of circumstance, one for if only one of them died and one if both of them were to pass. The will was updated a couple of months ago to include their new child, Ethan Whitlock. I believe that you had a successful delivery Ms. Swan?"

Bella nodded, struck into silence by Mr. Jenks straightforward manner. He was all business, business, business. He went on to outline the share of the estate. Most of it had been divided up equally between Cassie and Ethan with a small inheritance for Bella and Joanna. An allowance had been set up to support the upbringing of the children. Bella knew she would never touch it.

What had really stumped Bella was a letter that Alice and Jasper had left with the will. As Bella read it, she couldn't help the tears as they slid silently down her face. It was a letter of support for Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen should they make a bid of adoption for Cassie and Ethan. It detailed how they thought that Bella would make an excellent mother in their opinion and how they could not support anyone other than Bella and Edward to be their children's adoptive parents.

_Bella, my sister...my words can't describe what you are:_

_I don't even know why I'm writing this because I really hope this letter never gets to you. Because...if it does, that means I'm dead and maybe Jasper too. I'm gonna cry if I'm not careful. Look out for mascara-laden teardrops!_

_I know I wasn't fair in the beginning, concerning Edward. But Bella, he's right for you. I want you to know that if God-forbid something happens to us, I would want nothing more than for you and Edward to raise my babies, my little miracles._

_I trust you with my life, so it only makes sense that I trust you with theirs._

_You have to be strong now because my little angels need you. I'm never far. I'll be with you always._

_I love you Bella-boo, more than you know._

_Ali_

As they left the office, an hour later, Bella was a little shell-shocked. The rare wind that whipped through the streets, taking the edge of the oppressing humidity, brought Bella back to the present.

"Are you sure about this, Edward?"

"What?"

"All of this. I'm their mother now, we all come as a package." She held her hand up as Edward went to interrupt. "I know this must be overwhelming, all of this. I understand if it is too much. You didn't sign up for this when we started dating. It's like an instant family. Most men would…"

Bella mumbled as Edward's lips descended on her, forceful and final. "Shut up, silly Bella. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not that easy to get rid of."

"So you want this?"

"Where you go, I go. We're a family now."

Bella took Edward's hand in his and gently kissed his knuckles. "Family."

* * *

_In that book which is_

_My memory..._

_On the first page_

_That is the chapter when_

_I first met you_

_Appear the words..._

_Here begins a new life._

**La Vita Nuova - Dante Alighieri

* * *

**

**Well that is it folks…I feel like a Warner Bros cartoon ending. This has been nine months of unbelievable work. I never set out to write as much as this. **

**There are a couple of people to thank. Firstly a huge, wonderful, can't-say-it-enough thanks to my beta Perry Maxwell as she has talked me down from ledges and tears while I wrote, deleted and rewrote the entire story! She is a rock and I am honoured to call her friend.**

**Also a huge shout out to Charmie who recc'ed me on the blog Fan Fiction Rebels. She said such nice things and the questions were awesome fun. You can also meet Edward and find out exactly what he thinks of this whole kit and caboodle that is PT! http:/fanfictionrebels (dot) blogspot (dot) com/2010/08/friday-rec-perfect-timing-by(dot) html**

**Thank you to the wonderful mu(o)ms who read PT and gave me funny stories, labour advice and kept me on track where my baby book failed me. Virginia May, mommyof3boys, CopaseticMomma, and Leanna to name a few.**

**The poem mentioned, My Sister, My Friend, I'm not sure who wrote it but my beta, Tina, found it here .**

**I am working on a couple of one-shots and thinking about starting a new story. It will be shorter than this and hopefully NO babies!**


	24. The Lemonade Stand FotW

Hello All,

Not sure if this is a no-no in the fandom but as I couldn't update a continuing story, I've updated the complete story!

Perfect Timing has been nominated as a possible Fic of the Week over at The Lemonade Stand! It's a serious honor to be included and there are some wonderful fics included in the line up, so check them out too!

If you loved Perfect Timing, please go vote! www(dot)tehlemonadestand(dot)blogspot(dot)com

So many many thanks and hugs

Nuttyginger


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